Shattered Glass
by Padlei
Summary: ROTS AU. What if Padmé waited for Anakin to come back from Mustafar like he asked her to? But what Obi-Wan told her has shaken her and she quickly realizes the Anakin coming back to her is not really her husband…
1. Prologue

**Shattered glass**

**Time period **: ROTS AU  
**Characters**: Anakin/Vader, Padmé mainly.  
**Rating**: PG13.  
**Genre**: Angst.  
**Summary**: Instead of going to Anakin on Mustafar Padmé thinks better of it at the last minute and decides to wait for him to go back to Coruscant like she told him she would. But what Obi-Wan told her has shaken her and she quickly realizes the Anakin coming back to her is not really her husband…  
**A/N**: Plot bunny bit me out of nowhere after listening to some comments by the Flannelled One himself on the ROTS commentary… And I realized that all the events were in part due to Padmé not waiting for Anakin. If she never went to Mustafar, Obi-Wan was unable to find Anakin and so on...

**A/N 2**: This fic doesn't have anything to do with Hayden Christensen's movie (I haven't even seen it ) the title just made sense here.

Warning: It's going to be angsty. Anakin _has _turned to the dark side after all.

Thanks so much to **leia_naberrie **for beta-ing this story and listening to my incessant babbling!

Without further ado, here's the prologue.

* * *

**Prologue**

A lone figure stood in the darkness, appraising the form covered by the bed sheets silently. It stood in the doorway, listening, staring, unable to move. The form beneath the covers stirred slightly, curls moving on the pillow. The silent eyes watched the strands of hair spilling on the mattress. They roamed, caressing the gentle curves appearing to their attention. The figure moved out of the doorway, walking soundlessly into the room, shadowing the woman's face.

The light barely filtered through the blinds and yet she was still beautiful.

The shadow amplified on her face, as the figure bent down towards her, gloved fingers tracing the contours of the face. Barely touching, hovering over the skin. The fingers got bolder, rested on the smooth skin. It traced small patterns on the cheek.

The face moved. Eyelashes flickered. Brown eyes opened silently. A frown marred her delicate features and then liquid filled the very eyes that went straight to his soul. Her lips opened slightly, revealing a name, whispered with longing and love and acceptance.

"Anakin…"

The whisper echoed in the silent room. The figure stiffened even when small hands escaped the cool sheets and reached out to the face concealed by the dark hood. The fingertips began to caress the rough skin.

The dark figure straightened this time, away from the delicate touch, away from the brown inquisitive eyes and the warmth of the body underneath the bed sheets. Away from the light in her eyes. She straightened slightly in her bed, sitting up, silky nightgown clinging to her curves like a second skin. The brown eyes seemed to pierce through the dark cloak, even partially concealed by the darkness and his shadow covering her. The figure took a step back, retreating backwards to the window. She frowned and her legs elegantly flipped over her side. Her face was completely illuminated as she got up slowly. The eyes under the hood went immediately to the bulge under the silk as she moved.

"Anakin…"

The name was repeated again, seemingly not belonging to anyone in this room. It dropped into the silence that stretched between the two silent figures standing soundlessly in the dark room.

She didn't seem to care though. Steps taken towards the figure. Hands plunging inside the warmth of the cloak. Brown hair caressing the rough chin, hidden under the hood. A sigh against the chest covered by leather. By layers that did not mean a thing any longer. Those layers, this cloak, this tunic did not embody anything.

From the window of her room, one could still see the smoke erupting from the Jedi temple further away. Bodies still lay across the floor, immobile beside their discarded weapons. The weapon that still clung to the figure's hip.

An insult to the Jedi.

A testament to a new era.

There was much to tell the woman in the figure's arms. There was much to convince her of.

But in the end, it could not be otherwise. Too much had been sacrificed. Too much had been lost, changed to embody the security offered to her.

No longer would she be afraid. No longer would she know war, death or destruction. The figure was immobile while she sighed against the chest. It stood tall, strong, indestructible, protecting her of this entire world outside, threatening to engulf her and the child inside her.

She was safe. She was alive.

And she was murmuring a name that should not be heard in the sanctuary of her room.

Or should it?

The name resonated louder as she looked up, brown eyes filled with tears, hands reaching up to smooth the outlines of the face covered by darkness. The hands gently removed the hood, revealing hair, ruffled and dirty and a human face. The eyes scrutinized her again even as she tentatively inched closer and her lips pressed against the rough skin of his cheek. They pressed there, barely, fleetingly, soft against hard, warm against cold.

The glove reached up and tangled in the long, ruffled hair and brought her closer, the bulge beneath her nightgown pressing against the dark cloak. It pressed her closer as hard and demanding lips closed over hers. The soft lips complied, knowing hands burying inside the longish hair as his face bent closer to hers.

The dark figure disappeared.

Anakin Skywalker embraced his wife in the dark, unforgiving night.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

His lips left hers an instant later. She pressed herself still closer, curls caressing his face soothingly, warmth washing over him through her body. Hands buried inside his hair almost frantically as she pulled away, searching his face.

"Anakin…" she breathed, "I've been so, _so_ worried…" She stammered.

The accent in her voice was true; she was shaking with fear.

"I'm fine, my love."

The words sounded hollow even to his ears. They were everything his earlier words, _then_, behind that pillar, were not. He sounded comforting, almost lethargic in his happiness but it was a lie.

She seemed to sense it for she smoothed the sides of his face between her warm palms. It failed to provide the comfort it once brought him. Her embrace was shallow and cold where it was once warm and soothing.

"Are you hurt?"

Her brown eyes searched his and he smiled. The smile didn't reach his eyes though.

"I'm all right. The war is over. Everything will be all right."

The comforting, soft tone of his voice made her shiver and she frowned. He never again wanted to see her beautiful face marred by a frown. He would see to whatever was troubling her. She would get everything. This world, the galaxy, the whole Universe if needed to be.

_Everything_.

He would see to it.

"The Separatists leaders are all dead. The Holonet proclaimed it earlier today." She whispered in the darkness.

But in her voice, there was no contentment or gratitude.

There was fear and mistrust. She was hiding something; he could see it in her eyes. Something treacherous, something she would not tell him.

Was she betraying him too? Would she turn her back to him like the Jedi did? Like Palpatine himself did?

She knew he was the one responsible for this and she did not like it.

"Yes, they are." The glove reached her cheek and caressed it, in a mockery of what his former self used to do with his real hand. "We're at peace, at last."

Padmé frowned further, and though she did not move an inch, he felt her retreat from him. The thought left him even colder than he already was.

"Palpatine proclaimed the Empire as well."

Her voice was cold, her eyes accusing. He felt himself lose patience.

"I know. Only the Empire will bring peace. But it won't last long, you will see. Soon enough, Palpatine won't be here to rule us."

_Once I know how to save you, I will kill him with my bare hands_.

But his smile didn't seem to convince her. She took a step away from him, arms reaching around herself as if she felt cold.

There was something else, something else troubling her.

Cold fear wrapped around his heart as her brown eyes seemed to pierce through him. He felt like she knew every single one of his dirty secrets. She knew what he had done; she knew who he was now, _what_ he was and the thought left him shaking with terror.

Padmé would not understand, would never see his way, would never accept him as easily as she did after the Tusken massacre. And something was stopping her from fully trusting him. A gap was tearing them apart at every minute that passed. He could _feel_ it. She was about to speak and he sensed that what she would say would break everything. It would break the relative peace in this silent dark room. It would break the sanctuary he had come back to.

Suddenly, the coldness around his heart receded, leaving him empty and exhausted.

"Ani, Obi-Wan-"

He cut her off, raising a gloved finger towards her.

"I don't want to hear about it, Padmé. Please, not tonight."

He didn't want to know what happened to Obi-Wan. He didn't want to know if he was alive or dead, if he would have to face him or kill him. He was tired, so tired and he didn't want to think of his choice and all it entailed anymore.

Did she sense the change within him? He didn't know. Yet she came closer, nodding slightly, small hands depriving him of his cloak soundlessly. The dark material fell at his feet and he let her undress him. The lightsaber fell down with a loud thump and he sighed deeply, pulling her closer to him and breathing into her hair. Hands divested him of layers of clothes but he stopped her when she pulled at his undershirt. Somehow she had seen the burns on his tunic, burns from Mustafar, burns from lightsabers as some Jedi vainly tried to reach him in their final moments. He had felt the small burns on his chest and didn't think much of it. But for a reason unknown to him, he didn't want her to see this. She moved closer, lips trailing on the skin of his throat, hands caressing him lower and he shut his eyes tightly, almost drowning into her. He wanted to bury himself inside of her to forget, so she could purify him somehow. But as his lips traced the outline of her neck, she pulled away slightly.

Her fingertips traced his face in the darkness.

"Shower?" she whispered.

He frowned and spotted the trace of dirt on her fingertips. He realized abruptly that Mustafar and the Jedi temple smoke had clung to him for days. He was dirty from head to toe.

He _felt_ dirty.

She didn't await a response, taking his live hand in hers and pulling him towards the bathroom. He stopped in the middle of the room, his hand closing over hers painfully. She whirled around, eyebrow arched in confusion.

"Rest." He whispered, gesturing towards the bed. "I won't be long."

He strode towards the bathroom, the electronic door closing behind him with a hiss. The light came on automatically and he blinked at the sudden change of lightening. He sensed her confusion through the Force but she soon settled to wait for him, outside the door. Removing his boots and clothes wearily, he was about to reach the shower when something stopped him. He caught his reflection in the grand mirror above the elegant sink and he stopped in his tracks.

The burns on his chest were already healing, the scars from previous battles barely visible on the tanned skin.

His face looked dead.

Blue empty eyes looked back at him. He came closer, locking his eyes on the face of the murderer in front of him.

The murderer snarled and eyed him coldly, jaw clenched. There was hatred in his eyes, blue flashing dangerously. A tiny voice whispered in the confines of his mind. _Is it the way you looked when you killed all these- innocent- people?_

The voice pounded relentlessly inside his skull.

_What have you done?  
What have you done?  
What have you done?!_

His fist clenched, golden metal rising to smash the image in the mirror.

The reflection changed, the face twisting in despair. Hot tears streamed down the dirty cheeks of the murderer. He felt the hot liquid on his own skin and closed his eyes instantly. He turned his back to the mirror and opened blurry eyes to slide under the shower.

The water was hot and calm on his skin. It rained on his body calmly, washing the dirt –_and shame_- off of him. He sighed, a hand passing in his wet hair, before pressing two hands on the cold wall in front of him, clenching his teeth to avoid the ache in his chest to spread over.

It was all her fault somehow. She had washed away the wall between him and his emotions. And he had to stay strong at all costs. She didn't need her emotional husband beside her. She needed the strong Sith he was now.

Sith.

_Sith_.

He was a Sith now.

The realization only left emptiness inside him, the water cascading relentlessly on his back as he bent his head down.

There was a voice in his head telling him he was strong, powerful now, and he had done this for her, _everything_ for her and he needed not be so weak. He was Darth Vader and soon enough he would own everything. He would give her everything.

He would control everything. Even his weak emotions.

* * *

He appeared later on, clad in a simple towel, his blue eyes piercing her as he eyed her sitting on the bed, hands fidgeting on her lap. She looked up as he stood in front of her. She didn't say anything about the raindrops falling on the floor. She didn't seem to care for once.

"I need to know." She said suddenly.

He felt himself stiffen at the look in her eyes.

"I need to know if, if-" Her teary eyes searched his in the darkness. "If you are involved for the Temple, if you-"

"Padmé." His voice cut her off and he came closer standing directly in front of her. The expression on her face begged him to deny it. It begged him to tell her he was still the man she loved.

He was too tired to lie.

His live hand enclosed her cheek shakily and he knelt down in front of her bed, blue eyes locking with brown ones in the darkness.

"I love you." He whispered.

He felt his lower lip begin to tremble and he brought his head forward, pressing his lips against hers, trying to convey the raw feeling in his chest, the one that made him fall down on his knees in front of Palpatine and made him crawl on the floor, begging for her life.

He wanted her to feel that _these_ words were true. It was the only thing keeping him sane, keeping him from falling off the edge and stumbling into the darkness threatening to engulf him.

She sighed in his mouth and her small hands caressed his damp face, tangled into the wet strands of hair. His lips traced her neck, before attacking her collarbone, hands removing the top of her nightgown. She stiffened in his embrace, even when his mouth reached the outline of her breasts, a lone hand tangling into his hair.

"Tell me the truth, Anakin."

He groaned against her skin in agony. His heart was pounding in fright in his chest, making him shake against her warm body.

"Please, Padmé…" He whispered as his hands deftly pulled back the nightgown, revealing her swollen belly. His face twisted in despair, tears escaping his eyes in spite of himself.

"Trust me." He said through clenched teeth, his blue eyes boring into her worried ones.

Her lips closed over his swiftly and her hands clutched at his bare back as he explored her once again.

Afterwards, as they lay together, limbs tangled, he felt her belly pressing against him. The bulge, warm and solid against his skin, reminding him of other pressing matters and happiness and death was suddenly touched by a trembling golden hand.

A soft voice, whispering, breathed by his ear.

"I love you, Anakin."


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"_You're going to kill him, aren't you?"_

_The blue eyes in front of her flickered with doubt before conveying the answer to her question._

_"He has become a very great threat."_

_Who was he trying to convince? She could not believe that he, of all people would want to kill Anakin… Her illusions were shattered, leaving her bleeding and aching. She could not believe it, could not believe in Anakin being dead. He had kissed her, held her the night before. He had. Her husband. She would not give up on him._

_"I can't."_

_It was all she could utter, her throat constricted with emotion as she replayed every word Anakin had told her, trying to interpret every sign and believe again._

_The Jedi rose silently, a sad look on his face. He stood there, his back turned to her. His voice was forlorn when he spoke to her again._

_"Anakin is the father, isn't he?"_

_She could not look into his eyes as he expected an answer. Her silence was all he needed anyway._

_"I'm so sorry."_

_His voice sounded dead. As dead as he believed Anakin to be._

_She watched him leave, her hands clutching the jappor snippet around her neck desperately, tears scattering on her pale cheeks as she struggled to breathe._

_She needed to know. Needed to hear Anakin tell her Obi-Wan had lied. Needed to feel him next to her and believe again. Needed to make sure he would be safe, away from Obi-Wan. Needed to help him if… if it was true._

_The vision of his lightsaber lashing on small bodies sent her into shaking. She bent down, clutching her belly as she sobbed.  
She was about to call for Threepio to prepare her journey when something stopped her. She stayed on the couch, frozen, remembering Obi-Wan's sad determination to find Anakin. She remembered the look on his face when he heard she would not tell him Anakin's location._

_He gave up rather easily._

_She must be the only one knowing where Anakin was and foolishly going to him could endanger him. Obi-Wan could very well follow her to Mustafar. She struggled to breathe evenly. _

Please, wait for me.

_She trusted him. She believed in him. She needed to or everything would fall down around her. He would come back and attenuate her fears. And for the time being, Obi-Wan didn't know where he was. He was safe for now._

_"… killing younglings…"_

_"Anakin has turned to the Dark side…"_

_He couldn't!_

_Not her Anakin…_

She came back to her senses slowly.

A sigh on her neck. A shiver down her spine and her arms tightening around him, bringing his warm body closer to hers in the darkness.

A warm palm cupped her belly comfortingly, caressing the skin very gently, as if she would break.

Turning in his embrace, she left her eyes closed, breathing in his skin softly.

When her eyes opened gently, she found herself drowning in blue sparkling eyes and she smiled. He looked at her tenderly, one hand pushing some strands out of her forehead soundlessly. She sighed in the darkness. If she closed her eyes again, she could pretend nothing had happened.

Anakin was with her on Naboo, away from everything, away from the war and destruction. The Republic was still intact, and she could still make a difference, could still prevent Palpatine from enslaving the galaxy. In this world, there was no Dark side or Sith Lords.

But Obi-Wan's words were poison in her ears.

She could not make them go away as much as she wanted to. Nor could she prevent the newly founded Empire from existing.

"Anakin…" she whispered against the crook of his neck.

He nuzzled her skin in response, lips trailing on her neck very gently.

"Obi-Wan came here."

He froze in her embrace instantly.

"He…" She struggled to breathe evenly. "He told me terrible things. Things I just can't believe…"

"What things?" His voice rumbled against her skin.

"He told me Palpatine was a Sith Lord." She exhaled loudly. "He said you were his new apprentice, that you had turned to the Dark side-" She choked, feeling her lower lip trembling.

Anakin was no longer in her arms; he was on his back, eyes turned to the ceiling, lying next to her but so far away.

Her heart pounded harder in her chest, her hands suddenly shaking in the darkness.

"He said you were the one leading the attack against the T-Temple. That you killed _younglings_…"

_Oh, please, say something, Anakin… Please…_

Anakin's hands started to roam on her skin again. They were oddly unwelcome on her body. The way he was caressing her made her shudder in spite of herself.

His blue eyes shone in the darkness as he looked at her again.

"Obi-Wan said this to turn you against me." He said slowly.

She frowned, shaking her head slightly.

"No, he cares about us."

Anakin straightened this time, sitting up. His shoulders were stiff when he spoke.

"Us?"

His voice had this tone again, the one he took when she saw him standing in the room earlier. She had been so afraid then, because this man almost felt like a _stranger_.

"He knows everything." She whispered. "I-I almost went to Mustafar because I was afraid for you. Obi-Wan… He is convinced that you are a Sith now."

A chuckle from him. His back stiffened further. She struggled to sit up and passed a shaky hand on the soft skin.

"Anakin, all you have to say is that he lied and I'll believe you. Tell me this is not true."

She sounded like she was begging but she didn't care. She needed to hear him denying this or she would get mad. Her hand shook more when he didn't respond.

"Anakin?" She kissed the side of his shoulder softly.

He didn't react. Her eyes filled in the harsh silence.

"It's true then…" She couldn't stop the horror from filling her voice.

He stood up, surprising her, her arms, the ones that wanted to embrace him despite what he had done, falling on the sheets uselessly. Her eyes followed him as he pulled on his discarded pants swiftly. He came closer to the window and eyed an unseeing point in the horizon.

"All I did was for you."

His voice sent her into trembling. For her? _Killing children_?

"What are you talking about?" She choked, her eyes staring at the stranger in front of her.

Obi-Wan had told her the truth while Anakin had disguised it before departing for Mustafar. It hurt so much she couldn't breathe.

"I have become more powerful than any Jedi." His voice rumbled from his form standing near the window. "And I have done this for you, to protect you."

"But…" she stammered. "All I want is your love."

He looked annoyed as he whirled around, standing there in front of her, rigid and immobile.

"Love won't save you, Padmé. Only my new powers can do that."

She stared at him, finally understanding what this was all about. In her mind's eye, she saw Anakin standing at the same spot days earlier, telling her he had found a way to save her from the fate awaiting her in his nightmares.

_No, I promise you_!

She felt tears trickling down her cheeks as she realized how blind she had been. How Palpatine must have been twisting him with his lies. How he had convinced her husband to do these atrocities to save her.

She felt hope surge into her as she realized that if Anakin was out of Palpatine's influence, he could be the man she loved again. He was there, she was sure of it. The man she loved had stumbled down _then_, on Tatooine, sobbing as guilt and shame coursed through him. He couldn't have killed all these people in cold blood, she refused to believe this. Obi-Wan was wrong. Her Ani was no great threat. She would make him understand.

"At what cost, Ani?" She pleaded in the darkness. "You're a good person, stop this!"

"I won't lose you the way I lost my mother!" He grumbled.  
She saw his fists clenching and unclenching in rhythm with his shaky breaths.

"Let's go." She said suddenly.

He eyed her, frowning, seemingly not understanding. She opened her arms in invitation, urging him to come closer. When he stood in front of her, she embraced his waist swiftly, brown eyes pleading with him in the darkness.

"Come away with me, Ani… Help me raise our child. Let's run away and hide together while we still can…"

But he only shook his head, looking amused.

"Can't you see, Padmé?" The golden hand came down, smoothing some curls out of her shoulders. "We can have _everything_ here! We don't have to run away anymore! I have brought peace to the Empire! Soon enough it will be _our_ Empire! When I am strong enough, I will kill Palpatine… We will make things the way we want them to be!"

His smile, his hand starting to caress her again repulsed her and she moved away from him, the sheet wrapped around her trembling form as she stood up and backed away from him. Power mattered more than anything to him. There was no thought over who he had killed to rule, who he would kill later to insure his power. There was only thought of ruling and controlling. He didn't even want to be with _her_ or their child. The fact he killed children did not seem to register in his mind. Hope crumbled down in her chest and she felt herself stumbling, falling deeper into despair.

"I can't believe what I'm hearing…" She whispered, her eyes piercing him in the darkness. "Obi-Wan was right. You've changed! I don't know who you are anymore!"

His nostrils flared and he exhaled in anger.

"Do not talk of Obi-Wan here." He threatened. "Obi-Wan is not the one who will save you!" he exploded.

"Obi-Wan is not a murderer!" she blurted out tearfully before she could think.

In one swift stride he was in front of her, hands grasping her arms roughly. She winced and gaped at him in horror.

_He has become a very great threat_.

"I have done all those things for you!" He raged. "And you're rejecting me! You are like the Jedi, aren't you?"

She shook her head in the darkness, realizing in horror that this was the first time she had ever felt afraid _of_ Anakin.

"Don't you turn against me!" His fingers dug in her skin and she winced.

"Anakin…" She choked. "You're going down a path I can't follow! It goes against everything I believe in! Everything I am!"

"Because of Obi-Wan?"

She escaped his hurtful grasp and shook her head, tears escaping her eyes. "Because of what you've done! Of what you're planning to do!"

His golden fist clenched and she took another step backwards.

The last thing she thought she would ever want now tugged at her. She wanted to leave, away from him. Away from the stranger wearing her husband's face. She recalled the way he made love to her earlier and she flinched. His hands had been dirty, blood-filled as he caressed her. How long would he have kept her in the dark? Assuming she would agree to _this_?

He turned his back to her and paced in the room suddenly. She could see him straining to calm himself.

"Do you want to leave me, Padmé?"

His tone sent shivers down her spine even if she could not see his face.

"No." She choked.

She had to try, one last time.

"It's not too late…" She pleaded shakily. "I know you see things for what they are! You know this is wrong! Come back to me, Anakin, _please_, I-I love you…"

His back stiffened.

"You love me but you don't want to be with me." He said and he turned around, a smile playing at his lips. "I'm starting to believe you are lying like everyone else."

She came closer, emboldened and caressed his chest soothingly.

"I have never lied to you, my love."

He chuckled darkly. "How about the petition of the 2,000?"

"I couldn't tell you…" She thought her throat couldn't ache more. It was so constricted she hurt. "But I never lied, Ani…. I love you, you know that…"

"Then join me!" He brought her closer, his blue eyes shining with insanity. "I will give you everything… _Everything_…" He repeated, hands playing on the skin of her back.

"All I want is _you_."

His eyes darkened and he snarled.

"We will talk about that tomorrow. I am sure you will see my way eventually."

And he was strolling around, ready to go back to bed, like they had just been discussing the weather. She eyed him in shock for a while before speaking again.

"I don't know you anymore." She whispered in the dark. "I can't, Anakin, I can't stay with-"

"Don't." He growled menacingly. He was standing there, covered by the darkness and she could see something new shining in his eyes.

She shuddered, taking a step backwards.

Yellow.

His eyes were turning to yellow. The color she had witnessed in the Emperor's eyes in horror. Obi-Wan was right… _Obi-Wan was right… _

Her chest heaved.

"Anakin-"

"Don't speak."

Her husband was lost. Lost to her, lost to everyone.

And yet she remembered. The way he held her before he left to Mustafar. The way he had looked so vulnerable, kneeling in front of her, hair wet and eyes shining with unshed tears. The way he made love to her earlier.

_I love you_.

And because she remembered this, because there had been glimpses of her husband, she could not give up.

"You need to hear me out, Ani-"

The rest of her words were suddenly lost as her throat constricted. In the darkness she saw his fist clench. Her lungs heaved, claiming air before it was allowed again.

She coughed loudly, hands reaching her throat in disbelief and horror. It had lasted a split second but the crushing sensation of his fingers around her throat sent her into sobs. She collapsed on the floor, hands covering her eyes, the horrible reality around her. She didn't react when she felt strong hands scooping her up gently. Suddenly she was back inside the familiar bed, with a familiar body next to hers. The familiar voice was lost in her hair, whispering incoherent words next to her ear.  
But some reached her mind just before unconsciousness took hold of her.

"I'm sorry, Padmé, oh please, I'm so sorry…"


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The sound of muffled voices snapped Padmé out of sleep. Moaning slightly, she opened her eyes, hand reaching instinctively on her left to look for a warm presence. There was only an empty space.

It hit her.

She had not fallen asleep. She had been knocked out.

She sat up swiftly, eyes darting around, as she remembered what had transpired barely hours earlier. She could see the faint light of dawn breaking through the horizon but did not pay attention to it. Instead, all she could feel was numbness. The dull ache down her spine at her abrupt movement did not even reach her as she realized Anakin had been the one forcing her to sleep.

Right after-

She exhaled shakily and her eyes turned to the empty space beside her. Frowning, she reported her attention back towards the sound that had pulled her out of sleep. After retrieving her ruffled nightgown with difficulty, she pulled it on, stifling a sound of pain at the movements.

She could hear Dormé and Captain Typho talking heatedly behind the door.

And Anakin was gone.

She could almost think he had joined the Temple, like he always did –before-.

But there was no longer any Temple. There were no longer Jedi.

Had he prepared himself nonchalantly to meet the Emperor? When all she could feel was bleeding and ache and emptiness in her chest?

She had no idea what to do now. She had no idea about her place, about what she should do with Anakin. Her life had become a giant gaping hole. She felt herself fall into the abyss, unable to clutch at anything.

For the first time ever, she yearned for someone else's advice. Her thoughts turned to her family and her lip trembled as she pictured herself running into her parents' waiting arms, weeping but safe in their home.

The next thought weaving its way inside her mind tore her apart.

_I don't want to see him_.

She cast a glance to the shut bedroom door and sighed deeply. Her feet took her to the veranda wearily. She dropped on the sofa, lip trembling as she eyed the Coruscant traffic, speeders flying right and left even at such an early hour. She gulped in the fresh air hungrily, the coldness on her face reviving her slightly.

The baby kicked firmly. Her hand mind-absently rubbed the spot on her belly in mute comfort.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

She concentrated on the calm wind brushing on her face, on the calmness of the traffic around her. So normal.

If she opened her eyes, she would see Obi-Wan standing there, in front of her. His back to her, as he asked if Anakin was the father _and his words about her husband who was a traitor and a Sith and the one responsible of the fall of all she held dear… and pressing his fingers around her throat for a single instant, but long enough for her to feel them on her skin… _

Not caressing the skin of her neck. _Pressing…_ She could still feel the sudden surge of blood in her veins, the panic as she felt the breath escape her lungs.

The color in his eyes.

Hope had left her definitely. Even the fresh air did not seem to give it back to her. The flaps of her nightgown brushed against her legs almost soothingly but one single tear trickled down her cheek.

There was only emptiness inside her chest.

* * *

"Milady?"

The voice reached Padmé's ears but she didn't move, eyes lost in the distance.

"You should come to see what the Holonet just announced."

She didn't turn her head sideways, only sighed and focused on the soothing vision of ships flying in the distance. Dormé had insisted on leaving to the Senate all day. Padmé had failed to tell her handmaiden that she had already talked to the Queen in the morning.

Padmé Amidala was no longer a Senator.

It had not taken long for Palpatine to announce she was married to Anakin. In the middle of the research for Obi-Wan and Master Yoda after their botched attempt to kill the Emperor, –_Two Jedi entered the Senate and attempted to kill the Emperor once again, one of them being the one we thought to be a hero once. Kenobi, the Negotiator, betrayed his friend, the Hero with no Fear. The two Jedi are searched for in the whole galaxy_- he had taken advantage of the situation to state their marriage publicly. And somehow, in the midst of it all, the Queen had heard of it. And of her pregnancy.

_Congratulations, Senator Amidala_.

The slightest hint of disgust on her face. The Queen had always been protective of the Jedi's reputation throughout her reign. To her, the rumors and whispers about their actions had been marks of ungratefulness. Jedi were heroes.

And the Senator of Naboo was married with the one who murdered them all.

_You understand that I can no longer keep you as a Senator?_

Padmé had always expected it. Yearned for it deep inside of her at some point.

She had never expected it to hurt like that.

She had not dared come back to the Senate and face Bail. Face Mon Mothma and hear the whispers around her.

There were too many reporters around her apartment anyway.

"I already know, Dormé." Padmé replied, turning away from her window to face her trusted handmaiden.

Dormé looked at her mistress in concern.

"There's more, milady. The Emperor officially announced your husband was his second in command. He gave him an honorary title…" Dormé trailed off and Padmé braced herself for what was next. "Anakin Skywalker is to be called Lord Vader now.

"And you are called Lady Vader."

* * *

Anakin came back very late that night.

He looked exhausted and he wouldn't look at her in the eye.

Padmé couldn't even take refuge in the veranda. Too many Holoreporters.

"You're not sleeping?" he whispered, approaching her in the darkness as she stood near the window, watching the Jedi Temple from afar.

Still standing. With corpses inside.

"The Queen retired my title of Senator." She said dully.

He paused behind her.

"I'm sorry."

_Sorry for what? This or being blinded by anger last night?_

She didn't reply, focusing her eyes on the distance stubbornly.

"Are you happy, Anakin? Everyone knows about us now."

He didn't reply. It was strange how she could feel anger increasing inside of him.

"No one stands between us." He replied very softly, surprisingly.

_No. No one. You killed them all._

The thought wanted to escape her mind, her mouth but she couldn't speak.

Instead, she didn't reply, fixing her eyes on the landscape. She didn't know if she could stand looking at him. This man was not her husband. He was a stranger to her and everyone.

_Obi-Wan was right…_

A hand rested on her shoulder abruptly.

She felt the urge to shake it away.

The feather-like sensation of his real fingertips on her cheek.

She shut her eyes in reflex and bit her lip as his fingers caressed the skin gently.

Her lower lip trembled.

She turned around swiftly and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

There were no words. She didn't want them. His arms came up around her, pressing her closer against him.

He held her silently as she cried in the darkness.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

When the Jedi appeared at her doorstep, Padmé was not even surprised. Somehow she knew he would come back and her security didn't seem to be a problem to him. It was almost laughable the way C3PO had tried to send Obi-Wan away, asking her if she really wanted a Jedi in her home.

_This is not proper etiquette, Miss Padmé! Master Anakin said Jedi were traitors._

She had waved the protocol droid away, suddenly annoyed.

And now, she stayed there, unmoving, eyeing him silently. His shoulders were slumped down in defeat and he looked as drained as she was. Her eyes instinctively went to the faint burns on his face and the way he limped slightly as he came a little bit closer. It was strange to see the mighty Master Jedi she knew looking so diminished. A shiver went down her spine as she realized what Palpatine was capable of.

The Jedi stayed silent, his eyes trailing to her belly thoughtfully. She moved then, pulled her robe tight around her as if to shield her child from him.

She wondered what he could possibly want from her again. The expression on her face must give away all she knew anyway.

Everyone called her 'Lady Vader' now, the name making the blood run cold in her veins. It was a matter of days before they moved out of the 500 Republica into Anakin's new residence.

All this time, she was wondering why she was still there. Why she was still with him. They barely talked. He was always away –and she didn't want to think about what he was doing on _these_ missions, his eyes yellow when he came back and the coldness of his hand on her belly-. He was trying to bridge the gap between them but something was broken in her, between them, she didn't know anymore. She could not bear to have his hands on her body. And yearned for them at the same time. He seemed to understand even if it was breaking him silently. They stayed side by side at night, barely touching, like strangers.

Why was she still there?

Was it what the Jedi wanted to ask her?

He pulled his hood away from his face and smiled slightly.

"What are you doing here, Master Kenobi?" she asked coldly.

His blue eyes shone with misery.

"I have come to retrieve you, Padmé."

She took a step backwards in reflex, crossing her arms in self protection.

"Why?"

"You are in danger here. We're leaving Coruscant now. Senator Organa accepted to help us-"

"What makes you think I want to flee with you and Master Yoda?"

Her brown eyes locked with his surprised ones.

"Anakin is dangerous. Surely you've realized it yourself by now!"

She stayed in front of him, unmoving.

"He did not harm me."

_Not much_, her treacherous mind added silently.

"It is a matter of time," Obi-Wan replied dryly. "Think of your child! You have to protect it from the Sith!"

Her eyes narrowed this time. She felt the relieving sensation of anger coiling in her stomach.

"How dare you?" she murmured icily. "Don't you think I have considered my child?"

"Then, do the only thing you can do, Padmé," he pleaded, extending a hand towards her. "Please, we don't have much time."

"I am staying with my husband." The blood was running cold in her veins.

Her loyalty to him was the only thing that still made sense.

Obi-Wan's face hardened.

"Anakin is no more."

The tiny, treacherous voice made its way into Padmé's mind again.

_Why are you staying?_

He was not the man she married. And yet she didn't want to leave him. Was it because of the child within her womb? Or because Anakin was the last thing she held onto? Because his eyes still shone with some kind of unnamed emotion whenever he looked at her? Because he would whisper things in her hair at night, things he thought she could not hear but did, things about having no other choice and _I'm doing this for you, please, I'm doing this for you, don't leave me_…

"You have not even tried to believe in him," she murmured in the silent room.

"He's a Sith."

There was finality in his voice. Like this word explained it all.

He straightened himself, casting glances at the entryway. "We have failed but there is still hope. Maybe your child-"

Rage, cold and relieving, flared inside her.

"So that's why you're so adamant about my leaving…" she whispered incredulously. "I will not let you use my child like you used Anakin!" She added, the pent up frustration erupting out of her throat. She was trembling but she didn't care.

"I will not betray him. I am all he has left."

The words spilling on her lips surprised her. She knew with absolute certainty that were she to leave him, he would fall into the abyss completely. It didn't make it any easier but it was the truth.

_And I need him_…

He would be the last thing standing if the entire world crumbled down around her.

Obi-Wan was staring at her as if she was a stupid woman.

"Anakin is gone." He repeated again. But he sounded like he was not _only_ trying to convince her. "You're endangering yourself. And your child. Because if you don't fear Vader, it would be wise to fear Sidious. He will take your child-"

She held up a hand, stopping him swiftly. "Enough, Obi-Wan."

His eyes shone with misery. He had understood.

"You should hurry now," Padmé told him sadly. "I will not tell Anakin of your visit. Somehow, I'm not sure he wants to know where you are. Take advantage of that and hide with Master Yoda."

He nodded silently and bowed slightly, turning to leave, still limping, before stopping on her threshold abruptly.

"If you ever need my help, milady, contact Senator Organa and I will do my best to protect you."

She smiled slightly at his retreating form, the words slipping from her lips in a whisper.

"May the Force be with you."

Padmé stayed there, eyes lost in the distance until Threepio came in slowly.

"Thank goodness that dreadful Jedi is gone. Why, Miss Padmé, I never…"

She turned to the faithful droid abruptly.

"Don't say anything of what just happened to Anakin." She said firmly.

Threepio was shocked.

"But Miss Padmé, that will be _lying_!"

"This is between me and Anakin. Do not get involved. I will tell this to Anakin myself."

She almost smiled as the droid left slowly, exclaiming he didn't understand anything about humans.

After he left, she sighed into the silent room.

* * *

Padmé's eyes opened in the darkness abruptly.

An uneasy feeling made its way down her spine. Sitting up slowly, she eyed the dark figure on the threshold of her bedroom. She didn't need to see him to feel the anger coursing through him.

"Anakin?" she asked slightly, rubbing her aching back.

"He was here."

She stiffened abruptly and swallowed.

"Who?"

His gloved fist clenched and unclenched before he entered the room silently. He pulled off his hood angrily and paced in the bedroom very slowly. A shiver went down her spine as she spotted his yellow eyes never leaving her face.

"You know who I'm talking about." He rasped, his jaw clenched.

"_Obi-Wan_."

The name was uttered with such venom she shivered, instinctively fearing for the other Jedi's life.

"Did you talk to Threepio?" She asked wearily.

Anakin's pacing grew feverish. "Don't you think I can sense him?" he asked furiously.

Padmé stiffened. Of course. She should have realized that.  
She had no choice but to be honest.

"Yes, he was here."

He stopped his pacing abruptly, seemingly surprised she had admitted so easily.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you would have thought the worst."

"Do I have reason to think this?" he asked threateningly. "What did he want?"

She sighed, eyeing her laced fingers worryingly. She didn't want to put Obi-Wan's life into jeopardy. She remembered the exhausted man she had encountered, his limping. And yet, Anakin already knew of his visit.

She settled for the truth.

"He wanted me to leave with him."

Anakin's nostrils flared and he muffled a cry. Something fell on the floor, shattering loudly. She jumped at the sound and watched his face contort with rage in horror.

"How dare he?" he said loudly, fists clenched. "He attempted to kill my Master and now he wants to take you away from me?!"

The lamp beside her bed fell down on the floor, breaking in tiny pieces. He didn't seem to notice, his yellow eyes shining more brightly in the darkness. She fought against the cold sensation in her stomach, one hand instinctively reaching down to cover her belly.

"I decided to stay." she said quietly, closing her eyes and wishing it would calm him down to know of her unwavering loyalty to him.

But he didn't seem to hear her words, rage and anger flowing from him in waves.

"I am going to kill him!" he yelled. "Him and his Master! All this Jedi scum!"

Padmé fought the urge to remind him he had been a Jedi. Once.

"You wouldn't have told me he was here, right? Who knows if he didn't ask you to spy on me?"

"What?" she frowned.

"I don't trust you." He said coldly.

Her stomach did a painful summersault, his words, painful and unfair, slamming into her skull.

"Anakin-" she stammered, her eyes filling. Slowly, she was beginning to feel again and the almost crushing sensation made her heart squeeze in her chest.

He shook his head, pacing away from her, as if to shake something away from his mind.

"Then tell me where he hides."

She sighed. "I don't know."

"Liar."

He turned around, facing her, fists clenched and her breath caught in her chest.

"I really don't know." She pleaded.

"You're lying!" he exploded. "You're with him!"

Something else was troubling him, Padmé could feel it. Obi-Wan's visit had been the last straw. His eyes had already been yellow before they even began this argument. She could see the reasoning, could understand his loss of control and rage. After all, she had come to see the after effects of his missions. How rage and anger and –_the dark side_- could change him. How, when he stayed long enough next to her, he was left drained and exhausted, falling into a restless sleep when the dark side released its claws on him.

She could feel electricity around her, as if his rage was a living thing. But even as she acknowledged this, she was suddenly tired. Something in her stirred, revolted, rebelled against herself and him and the dark side and she broke down.

"How can you even suggest this? I have done nothing to warrant this-"

"Don't." he threatened, one gloved finger pointed at her.

Was he the man she married? Was he the child she met on Tatooine?

Cold fury surged inside her, as if rage had nestled inside her too. She wanted to scream, she wanted to break out of the prison he had put her in, when he decided to change their future, their lives together in a split second, not even asking what she would think about it.

"You're not the man I married!" she exploded. His eyes narrowed in the darkness. But she was past the point of no return.

Numbness left her at last and she was only anger and betrayal.

"_You_ betrayed me, your friends, Obi-Wan!"

He took a step in her direction threateningly.

"You're not my husband!" she cried out tearfully, the ache inside her chest increasing with every passing minute. "I can't stand this anymore! I can't stay here and close my eyes when I know what you're doing! What Palpatine's doing to the galaxy!"

"I'm doing this for you!" he exploded in turn, anger and this dark energy swirling around him, threatening, engulfing her.

"No," she ground out between clenched teeth. "You're doing this for yourself! I don't want people dying for my sake! I can't even stand the thought!"

"They're traitors." He said firmly.

She could feel him restraining himself. She knew he wanted her to stop speaking. Somehow he wanted her to hurt and it was this knowledge that was breaking her.

"Stop this now, Anakin."

This time, it was not a plea. It was an order, the last time she could try to bring him to reason. Obi-Wan's proposition taunted her hungrily and she was scared to realize a part of her wanted to flee right now.

"Now, that's enough," he barked, taking off his cloak and all but thrusting it across the room. He was trembling with anger.

"The dark side changed you into a monster." She said quietly, the words torn from her aching throat.

"Stop this." He said through clenched teeth.

"Or what?" she countered. "Will you hurt me again?" Her voice broke and she let the tears fall down freely, her gaze defiant.

He turned his back to her. His shoulders were trembling as he obviously made great efforts to control himself.

"You're not the man I married." She repeated sadly. "Let me go, Anakin."

"With Obi-Wan?" he asked and he almost sounded amused. "I was right…" he whispered.

"It has nothing to do with Obi-Wan! It's about me, Anakin! It's about our child! I can't look at myself in the mirror! Knowing all these people die because of me-"

This time Padmé sobbed, the knowledge tearing her apart. Anakin said nothing. Nothing. As if killing people in cold blood was not of importance. As if she was just being emotional.

"I'd rather die," she cracked out tearfully.

He whirled around, eyes blazing.

"Don't speak of this! You will _not_ die."

"I'm dying already!" she gestured around her, the walls of her room choking her. "I'm dying, Anakin!"

He shook his head wildly.

"Don't say that word again. Don't-"

His voice broke. Startled, she blinked the tears away and reached a hand towards him shakily.

"Please," she whispered. "Let's leave. Leave far away from here. Before it's too late. Before we lose each other…"

"We won't lose each other because you will not die." He said firmly. "I did everything for that."

"Everything?" she repeated disbelievingly. "Killing children?"

"I don't want to hear from you any longer."

This time, as she opened her mouth to say more, she felt the unmistakable sensation of fingers contracting around her throat. But this time, the pressure was longer. This time, she choked, her hands reaching her throat, eyes staring at him in disbelief. Lungs heaved, asking for air again, her mind starting to panic, feeling the baby kick firmly in her abdomen…

The crushing sensation stopped and she coughed loudly, sobbing, hiccupping at the same time, tears falling on the sheet and hands pressing on her belly in panic.

In her haze, she heard Anakin cry out in frustration and pain.

And he fled the room.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The headache seemed to amplify as Padmé's eyes stayed riveted to the Coruscant traffic. Tears trickled down her temples to fall on the pillow beneath her, tracing the skin.

Her throat burned.

The print of Anakin's fingers was burning her skin still, an invisible mark on her neck, a reminder of what was happening between them. In her womb, the baby was restless, seemingly feeling her despair. She was tucked on _his_ side of the bed, sheets warped around her trembling form in the darkness, eyes fixed on the window.

Her mind drifted away numbly.

Here in this room.

He was towering over her, blue eyes making her drown as he leant closer and she realized, not for the first time, that the boy had grown into a man. A man who loved her with such devotion it was frightening in its intensity.

Here.

Countless times when he would slide into her bed soundlessly, warm arms enclosing her safely, nose and face buried in her neck. Making love to her in this bed. Lying next to her, solid and tender and _everything_ as she disclosed her hope for the future, for their precious miracle. Burying her face into the crook of his neck and breathing in and a warm hand cupping her belly gently.

Here.

His nightmare. Waking up to an empty bed, the feeling of dread permeating the room. A feeling that would only increase within the next days.

Now it was choking her.

She buried her face in _his_ pillow, breathing in the familiar scent of him lingering on the soft material, hiding behind the mass of her curls.

She should get up and leave. She should pack her things and go, never coming back.

But whenever she looked at the furniture around her, ready to get up and leave the bed, she pictured Anakin's face when he realized that she had left him. She pictured him tearing the galaxy apart to find her. She pictured the thousands of people who he would leave dead in his wake for standing in his way.

So she was unable to move.

The whole night long, he did not reappear. She was relieved. She was afraid of his next reactions. She was afraid for her child. She was afraid for _him_ in spite of it all.

Exhaustion claimed her in the end, her eyelids dropping heavily in spite of herself, just as the dawn started bathing the room in light.

A loud sound.

An item falling heavily, clinging loudly on the ground.

Padme's eyes opened abruptly in the faltering darkness, heart pounding in her ears. She scanned the room, noticing clothes lying hazardously on the ground and the bathroom door secured in the hallway.

She waited silently, her breath still quick, and finally heard the sound of water running. She dropped back to the pillow heavily, her eyes riveted to the ceiling.

Time passed by, her heart still pounding inside her ribcage as she pondered different possibilities in her mind.

She had to talk to him. She winced, passing a weary hand on her features, the headache amplifying with every minute passed. She could not bear this situation anymore. She would rather die than watch as a silent foe took hold of her husband completely. She was still aching from his betrayal but she had to do this. If it failed once again, if he was still this stranger, then… then she would contact Bail.

She knew what he and Mon Mothma were doing, even if they seemingly stayed loyal to the Empire. If there was still hope there, she would grasp it.

Her child had to live in a peaceful world. She would try her best to ensure this.

If only Anakin could _see_ this…

The water was still running.

She frowned, glancing at the chrono on the other side of the bed.

The water had been running for a _very_ long time.

Now she remembered. The sound of something breaking.

Still frowning, she flipped her legs on the side of the bed, getting up slowly. The extra weight the baby was putting on her back was beginning to wear her out with each passing day. Her headache sent the blood pumping hard in her temples, the room spinning briefly as she began to walk. Taking cautious steps down the hallway, she reached the bathroom at last. When the door opened, she could only narrow her eyes, steam permeating the room. The door clicked shut behind her as she stepped further inside the room.

Glancing down, she noticed the shards at last. The mirror was broken, pieces from the glass lying on the ground. Her brown eyes settled on the shower a little bit further away, glimpsing his form under the water.

She couldn't step towards him with all these shards on the ground.

"Leave."

Anakin's voice, muffled by the running water, startled her. He had not even glanced her way and she knew he couldn't see her with all this steam anyway.

"I can always feel you." He responded, as if on cue.  
His tone was resigned.

"What happened?"

"Leave." He repeated, still not glancing towards her, the water drenching his crouched form.

She frowned and took cautious steps towards him.

"You're going to hurt yourself," he said dully.

She did not renounce, trying to find a safe way though she couldn't even see her feet now.

The pieces moved by themselves all of a sudden, leaving a clear path for her. Reaching the shower slowly, she opened the glass door.

He did not react, didn't move from his spot on the floor. Dead eyes were lost in the distance, damp strands of hair stuck to his forehead, pants clinging to him, as he sat there, broken, under the hot water. Blood was still dripping from his left hand but he made no move to stand. He looked like the lost little boy she had comforted _then_ in her spaceship. Padmé joined him under the water, her nightgown rapidly soaking wet, still silent.

She murmured his name softly, one hand reaching out to caress his hair.

The metallic hand shot out and batted her hand away from him roughly.

"Don't touch me." He said through clenched teeth, still refusing to look at her.

"Anakin…" she whispered. "Let me take a look at your hand."

He didn't respond. She made a move to kneel down beside him and this time he looked up, eyes made up of steel and ice. But blue.

"Don't come closer."

His voice was hoarse and he was shaking. She swallowed against the lump in her throat and reached out a hand in spite of his protests. It tangled in his damp hair, caressing gently. He closed his eyes convulsively, stifling a whimper as her fingers reached his cheek, before the metallic hand closed over her wrist and took it away from him. The hand was hurting the tender skin but she stayed silent, standing over him.

"You need to tend to those injuries." She whispered, reaching her other hand to stop the water.

"Go back to sleep," he spat, pushing her away from him roughly.

She almost stumbled backwards but clenched her jaw, holding on to the shower walls.

"Let me help you." She whispered, feeling the tears come back again.

"I don't want your help." He snapped.

Suddenly, without even seeing any movement of his hand, she felt her feet leave the ground, her body moving forcefully out of the shower until she reached the door.

_So much power_… she realized when she felt the ground under her feet again roughly, reeling from the shock. He couldn't control so much power. And he wasn't letting her in anymore.

Somehow, Anakin's rejection hurt her even more than his fingers on her throat. She eyed him coldly from the other side of the room, feeling annoyance and anger, and so many emotions stumbling, twirling inside her. Overwhelmed, she left the bathroom and joined her bedroom, shaking.

It was over. Truly over.

She had to leave him.

And he would be lost.

The pain was so unbearable in her chest she couldn't breathe anymore. Tears could not even reach her eyes for the raw feeling twisting her heart could only make her slide on the floor, as she moaned helplessly.

And suddenly the raw feeling was in her belly, her womb contracting painfully.

Padmé stifled a gasp, beginning to panic as she suddenly felt no movement from the baby. Shutting her eyes as a new wave of pain flowed through her, her lungs heaved, refusing oxygen. The contractions increased, the room span and she could not move, crouched on the floor.

Only one name came to her at this precise moment.

"Anakin…" she croaked out.

_Please, not the baby… Please_…

The room span further and she felt her head hit the floor forcefully, the contractions leaving her breathless.

Through her haze, she felt a soft pressure on her cheek suddenly.  
She let out a gasp of pain as the contractions increased.

A pressure on her belly, something warm flowing through her. The lines on her forehead decreased and she felt the pain lessen somewhat.

But she still couldn't feel the baby.

"Anakin…" she murmured, hands reaching out desperately.

Drops of water fell on her face and she blinked. Soft wet skin was suddenly against her forehead. She tried to focus on the hazy form in front of her and realized Anakin was caressing her skin very gently, his left hand still damaged.

"It's going to be all right…" he whispered.

She felt him take her into his arms, cold hand and arm wrapping around her. She clutched him desperately, pressing her face against the wet skin.

"3PO called the medics," he whispered on the top of her head. "It's going to be all right."

Even through Padmé's dazed state, she could hear his voice trembling.

* * *

Her hands were reaching her throat desperately, shock and sadness edging on her face as Anakin increased the pressure. He had warned her. She chose not to listen, and she would learn not to talk to him like this anymore. She and Obi-Wan were together, he could feel it. She had chosen to betray him silently, spying on him.

Was it not the way of the Jedi?

But the part of him he resented would not stay silent.

_What are you doing?_

He focused on her face again and his fingers released their invisible hold convulsively. She was sobbing, clutching her skin desperately, one hand on her belly as a protection.

From him.

He stumbled backwards, feeling unnamed emotions filling him silently until he couldn't take it anymore and a muffled cry escaped his lips.

He ran away from her, leaving the apartment.

He was shaking with rage and pain. He could feel the anger threatening to escape him and he hurried to join the noisy streets. An unbearable urge to take all this frustration and anger on someone, _anyone_, was tugging at him and he wanted nothing more than to hurt some of these individuals, those who were oblivious to his pain and suffering.

Maybe this one could be a Jedi, or maybe this one. He would make them pay, all of them.

She was still choking in his mind.

All of these missions were driving him mad, the only thing keeping him going, the thought he could save Padmé.

And they could rule together.

But the blood was still there, on his hands. He was never able to escape it. He tried to detach himself and he succeeded, _almost_.

The cries echoing in his ears were nothing. The body stumbling down on the ground was nothing. Just someone who would join the Force sooner. But he was coming back to their apartment and C3PO would say something and she would be as pale as death and she would look at him in the eye and he knew she saw the murders on him. At night, she couldn't let him touch her. He wasn't sure he wanted to. The blood was still tainting his hands. _The cries echoing in his head._

He was exhausted.

The thought of her even talking to Obi-Wan was driving him mad.

_Obi-Wan…_

He would not think of his former Master, would not picture Obi-Wan's face as the corpses fell to the ground in the Temple. Would not think of their bond, broken beyond repair.

He didn't need Obi-Wan's approval.

It was too late anyway.

He had had no choice in the matter. Padmé would live. He had made sure of that.

But he still had no concrete clue over what to do to save her life. She was still dying in his dreams. In his latest nightmare, _vision_, she had been eerily calm, the cries of their child echoing in the background, as her brown eyes settled on _him_, not on Obi-Wan and she had muttered something, right before dying, the breath leaving her lungs…

_I failed you, Anakin_.

He had awakened, drenched in sweat, hands touching her form in the dark, and burying his face into her hair in panic… And then she had uttered those damned words, just tonight, claiming she was dying with him. _Dying_… After all he had done for her, she was dying.

Because of him.

His nightmare tended to prove it and it was driving him mad.

_You're not the man I married_…

A part of him had rebelled against the words, wanting to break through, screaming he was still there, _couldn't she see him standing right in front of her? _

The other one had been almost relieved. She didn't know him. Never did. He was no longer the puppy she had liked around her, the one listening to the Queen's orders, and it was better this way. He loathed this man. She had fallen in love with a lie.

Strange how the faces around him were blurry as he hid beneath the hood.

A woman, clad in almost nothing, came to him, trying to-

Trying to what?

He felt cold, _relieving_ anger fill him.

She was dead in seconds.

And it didn't appease him. Padmé's face was still haunting him.

* * *

When he returned to the apartment, he was strangely calm. It was almost dawn and Padmé was sleeping. He stayed at the threshold, watching her sleep silently.

She was on his side of the bed.

He remembered her voice, from a long time ago.

_I sleep on your side of the bed when I miss you too much._

_Really?_

_Oh, stop making fun of me, Ani. Sleeping there makes your absence less painful. Just a little. _

He left the doorstep to join the bathroom, divesting himself of layers of clothes wearily. Could he really sleep next to her after what he did to her?

The mirror looked at him, always mocking him whenever he came back to his apartment. He would watch the deep rings under his eyes, his irises patched with yellow after his missions. He would watch his own face and resist the wish to break it down. He would watch this murderer and wish he could kill him with his bare hands.

This metallic hand had clutched her throat. This hand had slashed down a child the week before. One of the younglings who had escaped the Temple that fateful night. The Force had not granted him any escape from his blade.

He wanted Padmé to hurt. So she could stop speaking and reminding him of his choices and all it entailed. He was doing this for her and she was rejecting him.

Had she really loved him in the first place?

_She hates you now anyway. You're a murderer_.

The voice rang louder in his head. The face in front of him was disgusting.

The metallic hand smashed the glass to pieces, the flesh hand joining in, as he felt the relief of feeling real pain, in his skin, in his bones. Shards bit the tender flesh but he was past the point of caring. He liked the pain.

It felt deserved.

When the glass laid at his feet, broken, shards on the ground, he crawled under the shower, feeling the relieving water on his skin.

And he sobbed.

He had lost track of time when he felt Padmé. She was coming his way slowly.

In spite of it all, she still felt soothing.

But when she began to walk in his direction, something in him snapped, recoiled from her and the Light. He wanted her to leave. He couldn't bear anything this soft and relieving touching him. But Padmé was so stubborn, one hand tangling in his hair despite his protests.

It felt so good he could have wept. Her touch was soothing, calm and warm on his battered skin.

It was forgiving.

How could he let her touch him after what he did to her?

He pushed her away from him, the furthest away from him. He could not face her until the weak man in him would recede. He was not strong enough now, but he would be. When the time was right, he would resist his weakness and rise stronger than before. A Sith did not recoil from the darkness.

He didn't deserve to escape the Darkness.

It was too late anyway.

He felt Padmé's disappointment and… what was that? Her determination. She was suddenly determined even though it was also tearing her apart. Instinctively, he knew what she wanted to do.

She was going to leave him.

A part of him was relieved. The other one was angered. He stayed under the shower, suddenly afraid of his reaction if he confronted her now.

And suddenly despair washed over him. Panic, fear and pain intrinsically mixed, echoed inside him.

Something was wrong.

In a split second, he was out of the bathroom. Padmé was there, lying on the floor, moaning in pain and clutching her belly.

_What have you done?_

Panic engulfed him and he was suddenly on his knees, pushing her hand away from her belly as gently as he could, trying to alleviate her pain.

The Light was almost unattainable and he was tempted to use the dark side.

The baby's Force signature shone in the darkness, urging him to stretch towards the source. Warmth erupted from his aching hand. Padmé's forehead softened but she was still in pain. Fear took hold of him and he summoned the Force immediately. Without even thinking consciously, his faithful droid was suddenly standing in front of him, activated and looking distraught from being awakened brutally.

"Medics, now." He muttered, unable to look away from Padmé's crouched form on the floor.

"Oh, yes, Master Anakin." 3PO rushed out of the room as fast as he could.

Padmé murmured his name in despair, hands reaching out blindly. Something soft emerged inside him and he swallowed back the tears.

She trusted him. In spite of it all, she was still turning to him for help.

He was scared. He was panicked because his usually strong wife was lying helplessly on the floor in front of him and all he could feel suddenly was only infinite tenderness, taking her in his arms gently and whispering words of comfort against her hair.

She clutched him tighter.

He buried his face in her hair and shook silently.

_I won't fail you, Padmé_.


	7. Chapter 6

Thanks for all your reviews everyone!! :) Here's the next update. Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Anakin barely felt the hard twitches on his flesh, wires clicking next to him, repairing the wounds he inflicted on himself.

His eyes were riveted to the glass, drifting to watch for any movement past the invisible barrier.

Padmé lay there, in a medical gown, on an operating table, droids turning around her motionless body.

She was deathly pale.

Roughly, he had told C3PO to stay at home as Padmé was brought to the medical center. The droid had begun to grate on his nerves, exactly like Dormé and Typho. He had sent them away hours earlier, dismissing their attempts to know what happened with a cold glare. He would have to dismiss the Captain soon enough anyway. Did Padmé really need another protection than his now?

The nagging voice reminded him _he_ was the reason why she was here now. He chased it away roughly.

His hungry eyes did not leave her form, not even paying attention to the medical droid cutting inside his tissues.

_I failed you, Anakin._

_Her eyes, filled with tears, one trembling hand reaching up to caress his cheek as he begged her…_

Something cold went through him suddenly, almost washing away his fear.

His Master was coming. And he was discontent. Somehow, for the first time, he didn't care.

He couldn't shake his vision out of his head.

* * *

"Rise."

The cold bidding washed through every inch of him and he was trembling in spite of himself.

The yellow eyes above him were shining with some kind of unnamed emotion as Vader rose back to his feet, piercing through his skull. He felt the coldness wrap around his mind, probing, trying to sense his loyalty.

"I heard Kenobi was in your home yesterday."

He always knew everything. Not for the first time, he wondered whether his Master had seen it in his mind or if he could hear what was going on in his apartment.

"I have spies everywhere, young fool."

To his surprise, the Emperor did not look annoyed or angry. He looked amused.

"You should be wise to build up your shields again, Lord Vader."

He almost cursed. Padmé's collapse had stripped away all his defenses. To any Force-sensitive, he was so vulnerable it was laughable. He was a Dark Lord of the Sith, not an inadequate Padawan.

Somehow as he gathered the dark side around him again, it reassured him.

His Master looked more satisfied.

"So…?"

"The traitor tried to take my wife with him, Master." He responded angrily, feeling the cold, relieving darkness swirl around him again. There was no emptiness anymore.

It was soothing.

"Interesting."

His Master looked deep in thought. "Any ideas about his location, my apprentice? We must destroy the last of the Jedi, surely, you realize that."

There was just a hint of threat in his voice.

"I have no idea, my Master, but I will know it soon."

"Maybe… your wife knows something."

He shuddered, feeling the cold spectre of betrayal wrap around him again.

Padmé was the kind of person to prefer duty, honor over love.

She could sacrifice him for what she considered a just cause.

A just cause may very well be helping the Jedi. Helping the Jedi meant destroying the Sith.

_She's like everybody else… Lying, plotting, with her calm words and her politician voice… Maybe she never cared at all…_

In front of him, his Master's smile was stretching. Vader barely saw it, the wheels turning in his head. Maybe she had arranged it with Obi-Wan. Maybe the Jedi would appear out of nowhere and kill him. Maybe she would stay out of the way, knowing he would die alone and calling out her name.

Maybe all she would utter in the darkness in her apartment, knowing he was probably dying, would be _I'm sorry, Anakin, I had no choice…_

_You were wrong to sacrifice everything for her. She would have never done the same for you._

Something uglier weaved its way in his mind.

He thought of her face and how she had never looked so happy than that night on her balcony as she talked about their child and how she always wanted to have children and _a family of my own by now_; how, after she had plotted with Obi-Wan to free the galaxy – and he had to laugh about this idea because the galaxy had never been _free_ - and he was dead, she would be glad because she still had their child. She would feed it with lies about him. She would find someone else and lead a happy life, with their child.

Because, in the end, she had only reached for him, there on the floor, because of their child.

It was insane. It was horrible. But the whispers wouldn't stop in his head, and all of a sudden, he had that vision of her, during the war, _before he brought back peace_, claiming she couldn't get pregnant because the system she used was infallible…

She never wanted him to leave the Jedi.

She never wanted him to leave Coruscant behind and lead a life with her.

Because she had never wanted _him_ in her life.

All she wanted was a child.

His fists tightened, the tender flesh making him wince slightly.

_Anakin!_

The cry echoing in his mind made him wince. The sensation left him cold, the spectre of betrayal vanishing into thin air as abruptly as it appeared.

He refocused on his Master's face whose expression had turned from cold contentment to annoyance.

Padmé was crying out, the waves of pain washing through him roughly.

Suddenly, nothing else mattered.

"My wife needs help." He muttered as much as he could, feeling his palms glide with sweat and his heart squeeze in panic in his chest.

His Master's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"The droids are taking care of her. We are not finished, Lord Vader."

"I'm sorry, Master."

And even though he knew he would regret it later and he could almost fear the shiver down his spine at the expression of fury passing on the Emperor's face, he turned and almost ran down the corridors.

When he reached Padmé, she was crying out in agony.

He noticed her legs were apart now, a droid giving her instructions and all blood fled from his face.

"What are you doing?" he almost shouted, entering the room.

The medical droid turned its expressionless face towards him, the mechanical voice all but stating the obvious.

"We need to operate her. To save the babies."

"It's too early," he ground out.

_She is going to die_.

"She is very weak, Sir. We are trying to save the babies."

"No. Not now. Have you even asked her-"

"Anakin."

Her soft voice cut through his haze and he realized he was trembling.

"It's all right…" she murmured, still looking so pale, her voice just above the whisper, feeling so weak in the Force.

He wanted to crawl at her feet and ask for forgiveness. His dream was going to come true… _His dream…_

"They have to save our baby," she whispered.

It was only then it hit him.

"You said _babies_…" he muttered in the droid's direction. The mechanical voice responded, not unfazed in the least.

"Yes, Sir. She is expecting twins."

He almost took a step backwards, feeling his knees shake violently.

Padmé's lips twisted up into a small smile.

A very small smile.

In one quick step, he was at her side, clutching her hand painfully.

Just like in his latest vision.

He was half-tempted to run out of the room so his dream wouldn't come true.

"Padmé…" he whispered. And even to his ears, he almost sounded like he was begging.

"Twins." She repeated, her eyes shining slightly.

The old ugly whisper made its way inside his mind. He pushed it away roughly.

He forced a smile on his lips. He knew she could feel it was forced because now, all he wanted to do was weep and beg.

"Ready?"

The droid's voice cut through him and his head whipped around shakily to face the droid.

"Can it wait a little?" Padmé's soft voice resonated from behind him and he frowned.

The droid wheeled around to check some information and acquiesced. Padmé was tugging at his hand suddenly and he bent down, shivering when her breath reached his ear.

"_He_'s here, isn't he?"

He pulled back abruptly, eyes boring into hers. How could she know this?

In wonder, he let his glove roam on her belly. He didn't need his flesh hand to feel the warm energy flow between them. The bond linking their two souls together. He felt the two distinct Force signatures and marvelled at how he had not sensed it before.

Bending closer again, he nodded imperceptibly.

"I don't want him near our babies, please…"

She sounded panicked. For the first time in his life, he felt deep fear flow from her. Even when he- she didn't fear like this.

He felt tears in his eyes suddenly. The thought of darkness tainting something so pure lying beneath his hand sent him into trembling.

"I will do my best." He whispered next to her ear soothingly. "I promise. He won't touch them."

She sighed in relief, nuzzling his cheek slightly.

He felt his heart beat hopelessly in his chest. And the words slipped from his lips.

"Padmé… Do you love me?"

He was suddenly vulnerable and flinched at the weakness he could hear in his own voice. She pulled back slightly, eyes filled with tears and _almost_ an amused smile on her lips.

"How can you even doubt this?" she asked, her trembling fingertips pressing on his skin.

It brought so much warmth.

"I'm going to have _your_ children…" she whispered brokenly.

He reached out his damaged hand to tangle his fingers in the mass of curls, lying on the operating table. His lower lip was trembling and he hated it. Instead, he pressed his lips to her forehead shakily and forced the feelings inwardly.

She would need him soon… If his dream was to become true… she would need him, the dark side, she would need it.

"I'm sorry…" he croaked out against her smooth skin.

He didn't know where this was coming from, and why he was saying this now, but somehow it felt right.

Her hand joined his gloved hand on her still swollen belly. It gripped it hard, surprising him with its sudden strength.

Her emotions washed through him and he almost whimpered under the assault of his senses. Amidst it all, the sadness flowing inside of him in waves, the anger and betrayal and disappointment, there was something familiar in her core.

It whispered in his weary soul, finding the remnants of his heart and echoing its message.

_I love you_.

His heart rebelled against the idea, reminded of murders and blood and darkness tainting his very soul, but the warm feeling held on tight. It was inside of him, merging with him, like a soothing blanket, covering him from the darkness.

Like an invisible embrace.

Anakin sunk into it gratefully, his own warm feelings bursting out of him, mending the wounds and emptiness. Beneath him, she was whimpering slightly.

She could feel it somehow.

It made it even more beautiful.

His lips were about to reach her forehead and he was prepared to beg now, whatever she wanted, he would do it, he would lay the world at her feet, and _oh please, Padmé, don't leave me, don't leave them, hold on…_ when he felt the familiar coldness next to him.

In an instant, he strengthened, pushing her away from him.

He was afraid she would feel the darkness echoing his Master's within him.

Padmé felt the change immediately for her eyes became instantly sadder, the light in them subdued. From the other end of the room, behind the glass, his Master was standing, watching the events unfolding calmly.

The droid's voice cut through his reflections, reminding him of what was about to happen.

Fear was choking him. Literally.

His hands were shaking as she gripped his glove, screaming in pain as the droid hovered between her legs. His heart pounded in his ears, all the implications in his mind driving him crazy. He barely felt the pressure of her fingers around his mechanical hand, only watched numbly as her face contracted in sheer pain, tears trickling on each side of her face.

Just like his dream.

A baby's cry amidst the howls.

He watched the droid holding a trembling body and before he knew it, the small form was in his arms. Numbness disappeared as he felt the minuscule weight of the fragile body against his chest.

He blinked away tears of joy and wonder filled him when the eyes of _his_ child opened and went straight to his heart. The waves between the baby and him were so peaceful, almost foreign.

A boy.

His son.

"Luke."

Padmé's whisper reached his ears and he looked away from the hypnotic baby in his arms to the beautiful face of its mother.

She was smiling weakly, her form suddenly looking even smaller on that table.

Instantly, his left hand, bandaged and aching, caressed the side of her face, wiping the sweat from her brow tenderly.

_Luke_.

She had remembered their talk, -so long ago- and kept the name.

But he felt weakness and exhaustion seep from her.

_Hold on, please, hold on_.

Other instructions. His son taken from his arms gently and instantly, this sense of loss curling in his chest. Padmé crying out. Again. He squeezed his eyes shut against the waves washing over him once again. This time it was his hand gripping hers tight.

Scared. _Scared_. It chased everything else away in his mind. He was only fear.

Another cry of agony from Padmé's throat. Her eyes almost closed with the effort. He felt guilty for being so useless.

"Couldn't you give her something for her pain?" he asked through clenched teeth to the droid.

"It's almost over, Sir."

The efficient calm voice grated on his nerves and he reported his attention back to his wife, lying there, so small and so in pain.

He would have given anything to take the pain as his own and leave her in peace. His hand hovered on her belly in indecision.

She shook her head, biting her lip under the effort.

"No, please." She stammered.

There was fear in her voice. She was afraid of him using the dark side on her, he reflected. And yet he would do it later, when she would start to tremble and her eyes would blur and she would-

A baby's cry.

This time, he was holding a little girl in his arms, all healthy too and he felt relief pour into him. Padmé's hand reached out and caressed the newborn's head gently, her eyes sad.

He smiled shakily. She barely returned his smile, her gaze distant suddenly.

"What was your name for a girl?" he whispered, his throat aching.

"Leia." She murmured, her hand falling on her side in exhaustion.

His daughter was taken from him too and he watched her go join her brother sadly.

Anakin's eyes crossed his Master's yellow eyes from behind the glass.

He had never seen so much anger and cold contentment at the same time in those eyes. The same contentment had been in Sidious' eyes as he knelt before him beside corpses in the Temple.

A shiver went down his spine and he remembered his promise to Padmé. A sudden protectiveness surged into him. He wouldn't touch them. He wouldn't corrupt them with the same darkness dwelling within him. His Master's eyes narrowed in the distance.

He felt a surge of fear for his children this time. He was about to go check on them, the coldness wrapping around his heart, when sudden alarm rang through him.

His attention focused on Padmé again instantly.

She was so weak, her eyes barely open, her hand limp in his. He swallowed against the lump in his throat, panic coming back inside him instantly.

"Padmé…" he whispered, his lips tracing her forehead gently, shakily.

She only opened her brown eyes and stared at him silently.

He fell on his knees beside her, trembling, small and nothing.

"Padmé… please." He was begging now and he didn't care.

He was nothing without her.

Her fingertips reached out meekly and caressed his cheek gently.

His heart beat faster, alarm ringing in his mind, the remnants of his dream taunting him.

Her eyes were so sad as he felt the life progressively dripping from her. He felt wetness on his cheeks and he only realized he was crying when one of his tears fell on her hair.

"I failed you, Anakin."

He shook his head forcefully, panic filling him completely.

He wanted to scream, to break something, anything, plead and beg the Emperor to help him. He almost turned to his Master in despair when he felt one of her hands grow limper in his tight grip.

"Padmé-" His voice broke.

Her face relaxed progressively, her head falling on her side.

He felt cold invade him like a hard blow, the connection between them cut.

He buried his face in her hair, his hands grasping her still body in despair.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Anakin Skywalker wandered the corridors helplessly, eyes straying left and right, unseeing.

He stumbled down, leant on the cold, clinical wall and slid on the floor, numbness filling him until he couldn't breathe.

_Why?_

That had been the question plaguing his mind. The first question he asked to this blasted medical droid.

The answer had come, swift, efficient and ruthless.

"_She had no injury, Sir. It seems some emotions were too strong for her."_

_Emotions?_ Emotions? What could it know about emotions?

It was a droid.

He had laughed then, _laughed_, because had it not been Obi-Wan's favorite lecture? _No emotion? Only the Force?_

And his fist had clutched the droid's useless neck. With the Force, he had detached some wires after the others, feeling contentment in the droid's crumbling in his grasp.

_Emotions…_

Another droid had explained to him that a pregnant woman needed calm and rest and too many emotions at once, especially negative ones were no good for the baby or her.

He had destroyed the droid piece by piece this time.

And now his eyes burned with rage and despair and guilt.

_Padmé…_

He reached out to her desperately, needing to feel her around him through the Force, knowing she couldn't hear him and not caring.

His Master had come back to the Senate, more pressing matters occupying him for the time being. He had stood there, eyeing the scene between him and his wife with a calm, detached eye. With smugness even.

Anakin had found himself suddenly hating him with every inch of his body.

Padmé's limp body had been pressed against him as he tried to shake her, bring her back to him. His hands had trembled and he had been unable to bring her back with the dark side.

He had concentrated, sending wave after wave of the dark power in the frail body. To no avail.

How useless he had been.

He had felt the coldness of his Master's essence probing inside Padmé with malice and he had almost unleashed then.

_He_ couldn't touch her.

But the Emperor had only smiled, _smiled_, his cold voice entering his mind in shambles as he sat there next to the operating table, the droids taking her body away from him.

_You are not strong enough, young fool. Not yet_.

He had felt his eyes burn with rage as he watched him leave.

_Leave…_

In the direction of his children.

_Leaping to his feet, he ran for his life, trying to keep his promise to Padmé. His Master was there, one disgusting hand reaching out to touch his son._

_Anakin surged forward, shielding his child with barely refrained hatred. Luke started to cry, waves of confusion and fear sweeping from him._

_"Your son is very strong in the Force. The girl is too."_

_There was threat in his voice, a mixture of anger and contentment. But beneath it all, Anakin could only feel fear._

_The Emperor feared his children. Feared him too._

_Rage spurred him on. "You told me the dark side would protect her." He spat._

_A dismissal with a wave of his pale hand._

_"I said you would be able to save her, did I not? You were not strong enough in the dark side."_

_Rage swirled around him, the dark side twirling inside him with its comforting embrace._

_"You would be wise to pay attention, Lord Vader." Sidious snapped harshly when all he had for a response was his apprentice's clear anger. "I would not want your family to be permanently damaged."_

_There was no hint of threat anymore. Everything was out in the open._

_"I understand, my Master." He said through clenched teeth, feigning obedience and bowing his head._

_Inside, he was raging, anger blurring his vision._

_The Emperor left him with two crying babies._

_When he turned around to touch them, reassure them, they only cried further. Looking up, he saw his reflection on the opposite window._

_His eyes were yellow._

_He staggered away from them and their cries, unable to reach Padmé again, the ache in his chest spreading. _

And here he was now, sitting against the clinical wall, his gaze distant.

He may fail.

He could die and his family would stay unprotected. He could die and the Emperor would be unstoppable, training his children to become Sith.

And what would happen of Padmé?

Anakin closed his eyes against the thought shakily.

He had to succeed.

It was time to get his revenge against the lies and empty promises.

The dark side had been useless. It had destroyed her, him, _everything_.

In the end, he had been unable to protect Padmé. She was there, away from him and he could not bring her back.

He rose slowly, leaning against the wall for support, feeling rage fade to be replaced by controlled anger. It was swifter, more efficient, gave him focus.

A last thought plagued him as he strode through the corridors confidently.

_I'm doing this for you, Padmé_.

* * *

The Emperor was not surprised in the least when Vader strode inside his office with self-confidence, hood obscuring his face.

"I was waiting for you, Lord Vader," he said coldly.

The young man did not respond. Only eyed him coldly and told him the words he had dreamt of saying for ages now.

"I don't need you anymore, _my Master_."

"Oh, you do not?" he asked, leaning slightly on the arms of his seat.

"No, I don't." he responded coldly. "The dark side, it was all a lie, wasn't it? I never needed it to save Padmé."

Cruel laughter from the Emperor.

"This is pitiful." Yellow eyes shone from beneath the hood, dancing in amusement. "You are acting like a petulant child. Your wife is not dead!"

And with the Emperor's callous words, the painful memories returned swiftly to Vader.

'_Your wife is in a coma, Lord Vader.'_

_At first, when the connection between them was suddenly cut off, he had thought she was really gone. And then he had felt the faintest heartbeat against the palm of his hand. But she was so still in his arms... And he was unable to bring her back. She was not dead but she was not with him either. She was so still in his arms. The dark side had pushed her there but the dark side was powerless against a coma._

_'But she will wake up!'_

_'She will probably not, milord.'_

The pain nourished his anger.

"I did all this for nothing!" he exploded, the hilt of his lightsaber comforting against his warm palm.

"No, my apprentice. You have so much power as a Sith _now_. Try to deny it."

The ugly whisper inside him was reminding him of the way he could use the Force unconsciously, of the way he felt it in his hands, in every cell of his body, strong and powerful. All this power, exhilarating, in _his_ hands.

Freedom.

"Yes, you helped me become powerful." He acknowledged.

The Emperor flopped back to his seat in cold contentment.

"But this is exactly why I don't need you any longer."

Sidious had barely the time to react as Sith lightning erupted from Vader's flesh fingers and hit him squarely in the chest.

His anger was giving him focus. So much focus. He almost laughed when the mighty Emperor was blasted back by the force of Vader's attack. The Emperor had not suspected it, had he? He had not suspected that all those _missions_ had only strengthened his apprentice's abilities. Palpatine's overconfidence would be his undoing.

The red guards tried to stop Vader. _Tried_. Vader snorted with cold amusement as he sent them flying backwards, bones cracking with a satisfactory sound.

Sidious reacted at last and sent him Force lightning very strongly. Vader caught it with one hand, effortlessly, saw the look of disbelief pass on his _former_ Master's face.

He took a step forward and fought the urge to laugh madly with the exhilaration filling him as the Emperor took another backwards.

Vader glanced at the glass behind them and willed it broken. The material shattered, million pieces exploding, air twirling around them forcefully, lightning cracking.

How ironic that Sidious would meet the same end the traitorous Windu did.

The Emperor's face was distorted with fear and rage and triumph spurred Vader on as he advanced.

It had been very quick.

So easy.

In a second, Palpatine was on the edge of the precipice.

"I can make you become even more powerful!" he shouted desperately as he hovered over the oblivion.

"I don't need you anymore, Your Highness." Vader spat coolly. "You were right… I am more powerful than Master Yoda."

The Emperor never had a chance. The lightsaber surged in the young Sith's hand and in one quick move, he had torn his Master's chest apart.

Palpatine fell through the open window, his bloodcurdling scream echoing all the way down the steep descent until his body landed on the ground below. With a crack.

And there was silence.

The Force swirled around the young Sith, cloaking him in the darkness. He felt the cold air on his cheeks and felt the soul of the former Emperor disappear into oblivion with deep contentment.

"_I_ am the Force, old fool."

Darth Vader had his revenge and it was even sweeter.

* * *

On the other side of the galaxy, an old Jedi Master stumbled down, clutching his chest as the waves twirled around him in the Force.

"Master?"

Obi-Wan Kenobi's worried voice washed over the green Master and he nodded absent-mindedly.

"Dead, Sidious is." He rasped, eyes calmly settling on the young man before him.

The cries of the strange birds around them were suddenly unnoticed. Obi-Wan's eyes settled on the mud around them and the jungle obscuring the feeble sun of Dagobah.

"Anakin?" he asked, blue eyes settling on him again.

"Vader." He corrected.

Obi-Wan sighed. "Then it means he is even more powerful than the Emperor now. We should have taken Padmé with us. The child could have been a great asset," he said, not for the first time.

The old Master closed his eyes, letting the warm waves of the Force flow around him.

"Patience, Obi-Wan. Guide us soon, the Force will."


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Light.

It hurt her eyes.

The young woman blinked, trying to move her hands, but to no avail.

They were glued on the warm material beneath her.

She tried to open her eyes and succeeded, with strong effort. The figures were blurry around her. Faces moved.

"Milady?"

She frowned, trying to escape the hurtful light.

Voices, patches of incoherent words around her.

"… find… Emperor…"

"Inform… -net…"

Her lips opened, aching, her throat aching as well.

"Ana-" The whisper escaped her lips but went by unheard by the figures around her.

"Anakin-" she murmured again, her throat aching tenfold suddenly.

Something cold curled in her belly, probing, searching… She moaned loudly, shaking her head, attempting to escape the cold ghost of embrace.

A warm hand on her forehead.

Black.

* * *

Something was touching her forehead again.

It felt familiar.

Leather.

Padmé opened her eyes weakly, trying to focus but to no avail. It was dark around her now, and her eyes ached less.

"Anakin…" she croaked out again, more loudly this time.

"I'm here."

Her eyes snapped open out of sheer will and she focused on the darkened face looming above her.

Blue eyes. A blurry face. Blond curls.

_Anakin…_

Warm lips were suddenly kissing her face fervently, hands enclosing her face passionately.

"Padmé…" he stammered against her skin. "I was so scared…"

"Where-?"

She couldn't ask the question, her throat still horrendously dry, her mind beginning to function again.

"We're home."

"Babies?" she stammered as his breath washed over her face comfortingly.

She could only remember a faint sensation of coldness inside of her. And then oblivion. There _had been _twins, right?

He chuckled against her skin.

"They're fine. They're in the nursery, right beside you."

"Nursery?" she croaked out.

There had been no place for a nursery beside her bedroom. And this bed felt different…

"Don't worry." His warm voice responded.

_How-?_

She didn't ponder how he knew what she wanted to ask, only basked in the warmth of his arms around her.

She couldn't move her hands, only felt the soothing patterns he was tracing on the back of them.

"What- happened?"

"It's a long story." He whispered, fingertips tracing her face in the darkness. "But you don't have to worry anymore. You're safe. Everything will be all right now."

She relaxed against him, feeling a deep and peaceful slumber taking hold of her gently.

The last thing she felt was the soft, light pressure of his lips against her forehead.

* * *

The day had begun very badly.

Endless, fruitless discussions about debates and the need for a Senate.

Vader had fought against the urge to snort and destroy all these pitiful Senators, still holding on to their illusions of democracy.

_Democracy_.

That word only left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Democracy was a plague, an illusion to convince the people they had the power when only a handful held the leashes of the galaxy.

He would change that.

_She_ would change that.

Dismissing his aides with contempt without a word, he turned back to the window, watching the Coruscanti traffic calmly.

He needed to be out there, extending the Empire, consolidating the borders and finding the remaining traitors. These Jedi were out there, waiting in the dark to take his power back. He wouldn't let them. But he couldn't move from Coruscant for important matters needed his attention.

Not endless discussions about the need for a semblance of democracy. Not endless boring hours, listening to Organa discuss things heatedly with other Senators.

How did _she_ ever stand this?

He had only barely refrained himself from choking the lot of them and be done with it.

Instead, he had let his thoughts roam towards what was awaiting him at home. Only his children made his existence bearable. Whenever he would go into her chambers, she would still lie there, beautiful, but seemingly lifeless. He would spend all his nights sitting at her bedside silently.

He couldn't sleep anyway.

_The nightmares…_

He shivered slightly, rising slowly from his seat, ready to leave the blasted Senate to join the newly built Palace. How ironic, that he, the greatest Sith that had ever existed, only feared…

Night.

When everything was dark and still and he was left to his own traitorous thoughts.

And _she_ was still in this blasted coma.

Anger coursed through him and he strained to calm himself. It would not do to blast another medical droid into pieces. No matter how he wanted to.

Casting a glance to the opened map on his office, he pursed his lips.

This project could be useful, no matter how he loathed Palpatine's idea and the very principle of it. But terror was a good weapon.

He didn't need to use it to make people tremble by the mere thought of a battle station ready to blast their planets into oblivion.

Fear was such a powerful ally.

And yet he had seen a hint of defiance in Organa's eyes earlier. Something telling him he was involved in those rumors of a Rebel organization. These _Separatists_ had tried to free some prisoners, those he had only spared to let the Courts decide of their fates. The choice being between life imprisonment and death.

He could not afford anything else, no matter how he had despised Sidious' methods before.

Vader was about to leave his office, frustrated after such a useless day, when something came into his awareness abruptly.

It was warm, slight, but unmistakably _her_.

Joy, this foreign emotion, filled him at once.

He took no time to dwell, barking to his aides to bring his shuttle immediately.

_Padmé was awake_.

* * *

As soon as Lord Vader arrived home, his wife's handmaidens rushed towards him, a smile on their lips.

"Your Highness." Dormé bowed in front of him.

"How long has she been awake?" he demanded without acknowledgement.

The handmaiden exchanged dubious glances with the others but didn't utter a word about it.

"We were about to inform you, Your Highness."

The machines around her were beeping more loudly now, her face a little bit less pale when he entered her room.

"Leave us." He murmured without even glancing backwards.

The door clicked shut behind him and he was suddenly at her bedside, caressing her hand and waiting for any sign from her.

Vader barely allowed himself a small snippet of hope. Could it be that happiness came to him at last?

* * *

Padmé's brown eyes opened sleepily.

The light was tamed around her, strangely comforting.

She stirred slightly, feeling the muscles react to her will again. Her mind connected progressively and she remembered the last times she opened her eyes. Always his face next to hers, comforting, reassuring, the feeling of fluids injected in her body, progressively bringing her back to a conscious state. Water was brought to her. Her throat hurt far less now.

And she felt even better today.

Rising slightly, she settled a little higher on her pillow with some difficulty.

The sight next to her made her smile weakly.

Anakin's face was glued to her bed sheets, one hand covering hers, deeply asleep at her bedside. She reached out a weak hand, itching to caress the blond curls gently. He jerked awake before she could even touch him, icy eyes settling on her and energy flowing around him.

She shivered.

His face softened abruptly as he took sight of her and he smiled.

"How are you feeling today, my love?" he asked immediately, fingers caressing her forearm gently.

"Much better." She replied hoarsely.

He kissed her forehead gently and got up from his seat, ready to leave.

"Where are you going?" she asked in alarm.

She barely recognized the environment around her, had only gotten a glimpse of her handmaidens in the middle of other aides she didn't know, thousands of questions drilling in her mind, and it was the first time she could actually _voice_ them.

Anakin smirked and her heart skipped a beat. She felt transported four years ago, when it seemed her only worries were about picnic and resisting his love.

"I have a surprise for you."

That's all he said and in a second he was gone from her room.

3PO chose this moment to hurry into the room, blabbering as he always did. The familiarity of his chatter was reassuring somehow.

"Oh my! Miss Padmé! I am so glad to see you awake-"

But when he began to talk even more excitedly, telling her he had taken care of her children the whole time she was _'in this dreadful coma'_, Padmé began to flinch under the assault of her senses. A faint headache was starting to make her suffer and she was relieved to see Anakin coming back, efficiently silencing 3PO with a wave of his hand.

And the sight greeting her when he came closer was more than worth his short absence.

He was holding their children in each arm, smiling broadly as he stepped towards her.

Taking his place at her bedside again, he balanced the twins on his lap.

It was only then that alarm rang in her mind.

They were no longer newborns.

Padmé swallowed back her tears and raised a weak hand to caress her daughter's face gently. The little girl opened her arms instantly. Could it be-

Her eyes locked on her husband's in alarm.

"Do you think you're strong enough to take them into your arms?" He asked in concern.

She nodded slightly, shutting her eyes briefly as she felt the warm little body against her chest, tiny hands reaching up to tangle into her hair roughly.

She laughed slightly, pressing a kiss on her daughter's forehead.

"Hello, Leia…"

Brown eyes akin to hers flickered up to her in confusion.

Anakin had mentioned a coma. At least, she remembered _this_. Her babies… She remembered naming them. Her memories were still blurry but she remembered giving her this name.

When she focused on her husband's face again, she realized he was holding Luke close as he gazed on them silently.

There were tears in his eyes.

* * *

"How much time?"

That was the first question escaping her mouth when Anakin came back, the twins secured in their bed for the night. 3PO had been reactivated to watch over them and he had complied good-naturedly if not a little too loudly for her taste. Her head still ached.

Anakin stood at the other side of the bed, looking hesitant.

Something was telling her she would not like what he was about to say.

"About six months." He replied, his gaze far away suddenly.

Padmé stared at him, unable to believe it.

"What?" She stammered.

If the childbirth was quite blurry in her mind, to her, it felt like _yesterday_ since she lost consciousness. She had begun to suspect something was wrong when she saw the twins' size but not to this extent… Her mind reeled.

Anakin looked concerned.

"It's been a very long time," he acknowledged quietly. She saw the suffering in his eyes and knew those last months must have been hellish for him.

She was tempted to go back to sleep and not face the knowledge of all this time lost, without her children, without Anakin, but she wanted to know. She _needed_ to know.

"What happened exactly?" She asked quietly.

His face hardened, anger simmering behind his blue eyes.

"You were in a coma after the childbirth. I was unable to bring you back."

She nodded, lacing her hands together as she sat against the headboard of her bed.

_One question at a time_. "Where are we?"

"Home, I told you."

"And where is that exactly?"

He sighed in frustration. "You should rest for the time being, we'll talk-"

"No, Anakin. I want to know now. There's something you're not telling me."

He exhaled loudly. "We're still on Coruscant and this is our new home."

"This is not the residence you were assigned as Palpatine's second in command."

He looked amused suddenly.

"You are incredible." He murmured. "Your mind is already back into action."

His eyes shone with tenderness and Padmé almost forgot about her interrogation. But when he took a step towards her again, she remembered.

"You're not answering my question."

Another sigh. "Perhaps because I'm no longer the Second in command."

Hope surged inside her.

"You have left _him_?"

Memories of Palpatine and his sickening yellow eyes had haunted her every time she dreamt.

Anakin smiled soothingly. "You don't need to worry about this traitor anymore, my love. He will not bother you again."

He took his place in the seat beside her bed again. She looked at him silently and understood.

"He is dead, isn't he?"

His smile was dangerous now. "I killed him. The galaxy is free now."

Padmé swallowed against the lump in her throat. Was it really over? Freedom at last?

But the door to her bedchamber opened, revealing an aide, bowing low and her illusions shattered in million pieces.

"Your Highness, there is a pressing issue requiring-"

"Leave." The cold voice of her husband resonated. The aide trembled in fear and left the room quickly.

Anakin's blue eyes were shining dangerously now. He stood up and she could see the promise of payback on his face as he considered how to punish the young man coming to her room.

He tried to smile at her and reach for her hand but she jerked away from him.

"Highness?" she whispered incredulously. "I can't believe it. You took his place?"

"_We_ took his place, my love. The power is _ours_, not mine."

"I don't want this power, Anakin. I never wanted it."

He looked at her patronizingly.

"It must all be a shock for you. We will discuss this later."

This time, when she tried to get away from him, he forced a kiss on her forehead and left quickly, not casting a glance her way.

Padmé sat there, staring at the shut door in disbelief.


	10. Chapter 9 a

**Chapter 9 a/**

Empress.

_Empress_.

The name was glued in Padmé's mind, the promises of it empty and shallow.

She felt horrible.

How had they come to this? She, who held democracy above everything, an _Empress_? A tyrant? And all these Jedi dying every day, executed, killed by her husband himself? What kind of world was she living in?

Every time her eyes settled on the outside, she would recoil, the fact she was living somewhere expansive and horrendous in its opulence, when people were dying at this very moment, _children maybe_, repulsing her.

She was in a prison. A golden prison. But a prison nonetheless.

Anakin had been angered the last time he tried to talk to her. She had shut her door, refusing to talk to him, staring defiantly through the window.

How useless.

It was so easy for him to enter her chambers even if she didn't want him to. After little time past coaxing, pleading behind the door, he had entered the room, eyes hard and icy.

A fruitless discussion. Every time she tried to explain how she _felt_, how she wanted to give back this power and leave, he would start being angry, not listening to any word she would utter. The last time, his hand had risen and her breath had stayed stuck in her chest as she remembered the feeling of these gloved fingers closing around her throat. His hand had trembled, disbelief edging on his face as he realized what he was about to do and he had exited her room soundly.

He didn't seem to understand.

He didn't _want_ to understand.

"Are you aware many people would _kill_ for what we have?"

The question startled her and she spun away from the window, her face not betraying her surprise.

_Kill_…

Padmé shivered, hugging herself.

Anakin's voice was edgy, his whole being exuding anger and frustration.

"I'm not _anyone_, Anakin."

"Could you try to be happy at least?"

She pursed her lips. "I can't compromise with _this_."

He rolled his eyes. "You have such a black and white view of everything, Padmé. You're like Kenobi in that sense."

_Kenobi_. No longer _Obi-Wan_…

After these months _away_, Padmé had been forced to acknowledge Anakin had really changed. No longer any nightmares torturing him, it seemed. No longer any broken glass or guilt edging on his face. His eyes were not even yellow any longer.

He didn't need rage to exude power and darkness.

He smirked.

"I've brought back peace and justice to the galaxy, why would I feel guilty?"

She took a step backwards, eyes widened in horror.

"You're reading my thoughts?"

"I am not _reading_ anything, my love. Your thoughts come to me very easily."

"What do you mean?"

"When your thoughts are strong, they just come here," he said, pointing to his head.

She shook her head. "You told me, you would never break through, that I was too strongly-minded- and that you would never-"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not entering your mind. We're just connected…"

"Connected?"

He nodded, taking a step towards her slowly.

_Like this_.

The cold whisper entered her mind swiftly and she gasped in horror. She had felt connected to him before, when she was pregnant, but never to this extent and it had felt warm and loving. It only felt cold now.

"How did it happen?"

He cocked his head to one side, eyeing her amusingly.

"The Force."

She stared at him, uncomprehending.

"The dark side… I used it on you; I tried to bring you back with it. I didn't know the consequences then."

He didn't sound guilty. He didn't sound anything other than slightly amused at her horror.

His eyes were piercing her and she had the sudden sensation he could read everything into her. Once it would have felt amazing. Now, it felt unwelcome. Horrible.

Anakin's eyes narrowed in the distance.

"Have you used the dark side on our children?" she asked icily, fear edging inside her.

For once, he looked hesitant.

"No." he whispered quietly.

A glimpse of guilt.

She took a step towards him, heart fluttering in hope.

"But I will teach it to them later."

She stayed at her spot, frozen.

"No, please." She whispered brokenly.

He shook his head, as if chasing an unwelcome thought away.

"I have no choice. If someone -any _Jedi_- attacks them, they have to know how to defend themselves."

There was only determination in his eyes now. Cold anger.

"I can't let you do that." She whispered, shaking her head forcefully.

For once, he looked apprehensive.

"We'll see." He whispered in turn.

He wanted to leave the room now and triumph flooded inside her. She had cracked through the armor.

"Why couldn't we leave this galaxy alone? You have brought peace now, let's leave them alone…"

The cold smile was back on his lips.

"I can't, Padmé. _We_ can't. We have a duty to the galaxy now. Why leave it alone when we can _change_ things? When we can stop all we've fought against our whole lives?"

"Democracy, Anakin. This is why."

He sighed in frustration but Padmé reflected that at least they were having a conversation now.

"_Democracy_. This is such an empty word. An illusion, my love. There's never been any democracy. Only a limited number of people who hold the power. And now it's our turn."

She eyed him in disbelief.

"You were serious that day on Naboo, when we went to that picnic, weren't you? What you want is a dictatorship."

He looked away, closing his eyes briefly.

"Things changed since then. I've come to realize how dangerous a _democracy_ really is."

She shook her head firmly. "I will never believe that."

"Maybe because you were one of those lucky people who _held_ the power." Anakin snapped.

Padmé took a step backwards instinctively, hurting to hear the venom in his voice.

He sighed.

"Why not forget about all this for now?"

His head bent down. She waited breathlessly.

And in a split second, he was waltzing towards her, taking her into his arms wordlessly. She let him unfold her in his arms numbly, mind reeling. His breath reached her neck. She shivered.

"Not a day has gone by when I haven't missed you…" he whispered. "I was so afraid you would never wake up."

She sighed and pressed herself closer to him in spite of herself.

"Padmé… please," he murmured. "Don't let politics get between us. We let too many things come between us before…"

Her mind screamed she couldn't compromise with this, that the man holding her was a murderer, an Emperor, a dictator, representing all the things she had always fought against and she pulled away from him.

To be confronted to his blue eyes shining with so much longing.

Her heart whispered she could try to bring him back now Palpatine was… gone. It whispered she loved him so much she couldn't breathe without him.

It whispered Anakin was still there.

She let him press his lips against hers and tangled her hands in his hair, bringing him closer.

She hated herself.

She didn't care.


	11. Chapter 9 b

Thanks everyone for your reviews! Here's Chapter 9b/ and the beginning of Chapter 10! Hope you enjoy these chapters. :)

* * *

**Chapter 9 b/**

Padmé Skywalker felt the water drip on her fingers, the soap erupting in bubbles around her.

She laughed.

Leia giggled in her arms and she nuzzled the baby's smooth skin.

"Now you're all proper, little Princess." She whispered, kissing the small snippet of hair on the baby girl's head.

She held her daughter close, feeling tears of relief come up in her eyes at the thought of never looking at the bundle of perfection in her arms.

"Milady?"

Dormé's voice startled her and she spun around, still holding Leia in her arms and pressing the towel around the tiny body.

"You should have asked me to-"

"No."

"But you are still weak, milady…"

"No," she repeated.

Her answer was firm. She had spent so little time with them. _So little_. She wanted to be with them all the time now.

And it helped her keep busy.

She was finally able to stop thinking.

Dormé looked embarrassed. Padmé sighed. She had appreciated her most faithful handmaiden's presence after her awakening. And yet even though she had nothing to do with all this, Dormé was a symbol of the past and the symbol of her prison now.

"Milady," she added when Padmé had been silent again, dressing her daughter. "Your family wishes to speak to you."

Her heart pounded louder, relief pouring into her.

A little while later she was settling in front of the Holoconsole, switching it on.

Her worried mother appeared before her, looking relieved when she saw her daughter.

"Padmé!" Jobal exclaimed. "We wanted to come to Coruscant as soon as we heard about _everything_ but they're filtering all exits and all communications from Naboo now-"

"It's all right, Mom," the young woman said, a smile on her lips and relief filling her as she felt _Padmé_ again.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good."

_As good as I can be…_

"Is it true?" Jobal asked almost immediately, looking horrified. "That you are married to that Jedi, that you have two children? That you are now…"

She trailed off but she knew what she wanted to say. The title was too horrible to be pronounced.

"Yes," she acknowledged quietly.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Now, there was no longer concern in her voice but accusation.

"It was forbidden at that time. I didn't want this burden on your shoulders…"

Her mother looked at her suspiciously.

"Is there something you're hiding, Padmé?"

She frowned. "What? No."

"Do you know there are guards around our home for protection? Your father is really angry. He keeps saying you disappointed him."

Padmé struggled against the tears. Somehow even after all these years, knowing that she, who had always made him proud, was now failing in his eyes, hurt even more than the Queen's sanction when she took away her title of Senator.

"Padmé… there must be an explanation! Are you held against your consent? Did this Jedi use a mindtrick on you?"

The connection flickered. Padmé frowned.

"No, Mom. I'm here by my own will."

"And you are going to rule?" Her mother's voice was filled with horror. And disappointment.

Padmé swallowed against the lump in her throat.

"I-" she stammered, passing a hand in her hair weakly. How could she explain this mess? And she had the nagging suspicion this conversation was listened to.

"I'll come to explain all this to you. And bring you Luke and Leia."

She smiled slightly. Her mother did not.

"Do you realize we heard of their _names_ through the HoloNet?"

She sounded so sad Padmé felt her heart squeeze.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I wanted to tell you but I couldn't-"

"I'm not even sure your father wants to see you for now." Her mother cut her off gently. "He has _really_ been disappointed. People around here are confused…" she trailed off. "I have to go. Take care of yourself and my grandchildren, my dear."

She didn't have the time to respond. Her mother's soothing face had disappeared.

She sat there, staring at her own hands for a long time.

* * *

Padmé sat on her bed, draped in the darkness, eyes lost in the traffic outside. The chambers were indecent in their opulence. What constituted her private rooms was the equivalent of her former apartment. Now she was slightly better, she could sleep in Anakin's bedroom if she wanted to. But she had stuck to her own chambers somehow. He came here late at night most of the time anyway. He sat next to her as she drifted to sleep.

She could only let him hold her hand.

She could not bear anything else for now.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, she could almost feel the phantom sensation of his fingers pressing around her throat. She would not be able to sleep after such nightmares. And for some unknown reason, she had a feeling he didn't want to sleep next to her either.

The sudden sound of footsteps barely startled her. Anakin was here earlier than usual.

"My family hates me."

She spoke the words as soon as he stepped into her bedroom.

"Why?" he asked, frowning as he stripped off from his dark clothes progressively.

She admired him from afar, still feeling her heart beat a little bit faster as he stood before her, bare-chested.

"Because I betrayed all of them…" she whispered.

He sighed, put his black tunic on a nearby chair and came closer.

"They will understand in time."

She shook her head sadly. "My family… We have strong ideals. My parents didn't raise me like _this_."

"They'll be proud of you once they see the good you'll bring to the galaxy."

Padmé pursed her lips.

"What good did this _Empire_ bring for now?"

Her eyes sent him cold daggers even in the dark room.

"I heard the reports on the Holonet…" she went on, "They're fake, I know it. There's something going on, on the other side of Bakura, right?"

Anakin flinched visibly.

"I'll tell you all about these projects when you _really_ decide to be involved."

"I don't want to be involved. But what I want doesn't matter, does it?"

Her voice had grown bitter within the past few days. She _was_ bitter. Her eyes drifted away before focusing on his face again as he knelt before her gently.

"I'll give you everything you want, Padmé."

She looked away.

"I can't give you _this_…" he whispered, obviously picking up on her thoughts again.

"Why?" she asked hoarsely. It felt like they were going in circles, never really ending _this_ conversation, both too stubborn to give in.

For once the answer came precisely, clear-cut, leaving no shadow of doubt.

"Because this is the only way to maintain peace in the galaxy. Because I won't let Jedi or others harm you or the twins. Because my choice was made a long time ago."

He sounded forlorn for once. Her eyes refocused on him. His head was bent down, so close and so far away at the same time.

_Your choice… Not mine_.

"I need you, Padmé…" he whispered, his hands caressing the side of her legs slightly. "It doesn't mean anything without you."

She swallowed against the lump in her throat.

"You don't need the dark side anymore to save me. You don't love me enough to let go of your lust for power."

He looked surprised, a frown marring his forehead suddenly.

"I love you too much to leave you without protection. Do you know Jedi will go after our children?" Now, he sounded angry, getting to his feet and pacing angrily. "Jedi will stop at nothing, either to take them away from us or to kill them. I will not let them do that!"

She sighed deeply.

"If you brought back _democracy_, the remaining Jedi would be forced to-"

"I'm tired of you saying that word! What did democracy bring? Wars, destruction, corruption, _slavery_!"

She felt the ache in her chest amplify. She was about to say something more when he took a deep shuddering breath, visibly trying to calm himself.

"I don't want to talk about this any longer. I will not change my mind and that's final."

And with that, he strode away from her room, visibly joining his.

Padmé sighed in the suddenly silent room.


	12. Chapter 10 a

**Chapter 10 a/**

Padmé Skywalker, also known as Empress Vader, got various gifts over the weeks.

Some came from old colleagues, glad she was better, congratulating her for her newfound position. Most of them had barely talked to her when she was a Senator.

Fascinating how many _friends_ she had now she was one of the two most powerful beings in the entire galaxy.

She threw all the gifts away, much to C3PO's outrage.

Most gifts came from her husband.

He would flood her with magnificent gowns, jewels, asking her if she wanted to build another aisle to the Palace. She had fought the urge to tell him the Palace was already indecently huge as it was but had only politely declined the proposition.

She only wore some of the gowns to please him.

She would look at herself in the mirror and be disgusted by what she saw. Only the look of worship on his face when he looked at her made it bearable.

_You truly are an Empress_, he had whispered once to her reflection.

She had said nothing.

After a whole day spent arranging their home, giving orders to all the employees, she had fallen asleep in her chambers, after putting the twins to bed.

The small sound of giggles pulled her out of sleep.

Padmé found herself walking down the corridor to join the nursery. The door was open.

Anakin was there, playing with Luke and Leia. The twins were giggling as their father lay on the ground, making them twirl in the air above him. She eyed them disapprovingly, about to scold her husband for waking them up when she spotted the look on his face.

He was grinning, his soft laughter at the twins' obvious entertainment resonating quietly in the quiet corridor.

She leant in the entryway, transfixed, watching them and feeling a reluctant smile on her face. Soon enough, Luke was in the crook of Anakin's arm as he made his sister drift down, back against his chest.

Anakin's eyes focused on Padmé almost immediately as he caressed Leia's hair quietly. He gave her one of his sheepish smiles and her heart beat slightly louder.

"I'm sorry…" he said. "I couldn't resist."

She should be angry he had awakened the twins and they would be unable to go back to sleep after this kind of play but his eyes were blue and he looked like he used to. She watched the way the twins cuddled close to their father, even Leia, who was fierier usually, looking calm.

"Dada…" The little girl said in her father's arms.

Anakin chuckled.

"Do you think she's actually calling me?"

Her voice was cold when she replied.

"She's not talking yet. It is easy to say, that's all."

Anakin didn't seem to notice her tone and started to tickle the babies in his arms. The twins giggled with this adorable sound.

Padmé sighed.

"I'm tired, I'm going to sleep." She said sternly. "Don't stay up too late."

She turned her back to them but couldn't leave, the door snapping close before she could exit the room. She spun around to face her husband, a frown on his face as he sat up.

"I hope you're not blaming me for spending time with them," he told her and his voice had recovered this tone she hated. "I haven't seen them the whole day."

Silently, she picked up Luke, who was beginning to cry in his father's arms.

"They need to sleep or they'll be tired tomorrow," she told him sternly before placing her son in his crib gently.

He didn't respond but she could feel his annoyance.

Once the twins were put into their beds, Leia started to cry. Padmé sighed loudly, reaching out to pick up her daughter and lull her into sleep. Anakin stopped her abruptly, his flesh hand resting on Leia's forehead. The baby calmed down immediately and fell into a deep slumber.

Padmé felt a shiver down her spine.

"I don't like it when you do that."

Anakin sighed. "Do what?"

She pursed her lips. "When you use the Force on them."

"They're Force-sensitive, Padmé. Feeling the Force is as natural as breathing to them."

She stared at him silently. "Then don't do it in front of me."

She spun around and exited the room to reach hers. When she entered it, Anakin was already standing there, closing the door to her chambers in a second.

"What's the matter with you?" he asked immediately.

"I'm just tired. You're not the one dealing with the twins on a daily basis," she snapped before she could think.

"I have a whole galaxy to take care of. And you're the one _tired_?"

He looked menacing suddenly.

She exhaled loudly.

"No one said killing people was easy."

She froze in shock at her own outburst. In a split second, she had barely the time to react, he was right before her, his fingers digging into her arms.

"Don't ever say this again." He said through clenched teeth.

She thought he would hurt her now, that he would squeeze her throat again to teach her, to remind her of what he was able to do and she wasn't sure she would stand it again… But he only looked at her, dark pools boring into hers.

"I won't hurt you again," he said quietly. She tried to pull away from his grasp, angry he could read her thoughts so easily now. But he only tightened his grip on her arms, forcing her to look at him.

"I will _not_ hurt you again." He repeated. "I can control my powers now. You don't need to fear me."

There was a forlorn note in his voice. She inched closer, trying to gauge him.

"Never again?" she croaked out and she was shocked to realize her voice was trembling.

He shook his head and let go of her abruptly, exiting her chambers without a word.

She stayed frozen at her spot, her eyes fixed on the closed door.

* * *

Padmé was a woman of action, always had been. Now she was inside her Palace only taking care of two infants and the practical aspects of her home, conveniently shutting the Holonet and all communications to the outside. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear about what was happening out there.

For a while, she had pretended everything was all right and she needed not know what was happening in the galaxy.

Then her birthday came.

Anakin wanted a great reception, something big enough to make everyone pale with jealousy, he had told her. She had the feeling he wanted to hide from the disaster their life together was becoming. She had not let him touch her in _forever_ and sometimes she wondered how he could stand it and if he- when he came back very late… And she barely saw him anyway. When he was not staying late in the Senate, he was away to resolve a crisis at the other side of the galaxy.

She was astounded to see how much he trusted her.

When he realized she was feeling much better and made sure she was completely healthy, he decided to resolve the crises himself. The first time, the possibility of leaving had gone through her head briefly. And then, she had resigned herself.

Who would help her to leave?

Her family was under _protection_, her _friends_ were no more. Even Dormé and her other handmaidens would not be able to find trusted people to help them. She had had no contact whatsoever with Bail Organa or Mon Mothma ever since Anakin's return from Mustafar apart a simple note from Bail to tell her he was glad to see her better when she woke up from her coma.

And there was something else too.

She wasn't sure she wanted to leave.

But her birthday came and her reality was turned upside down.


	13. Chapter 10 b

**Chapter 10 b/**

After several weeks away, Anakin came back from the Outer Rim.

His eyes were yellow when he appeared in the entryway of her room, shining under his hood as he opened his arms in greeting. Padmé reached him hesitantly. His arms around her felt cold. He tried to kiss her then but she only pulled away shakily. He grumbled she had not missed him much. Her hands caressed his cheeks under the hood, trying to calm him and smooth away the darkness.

His eyes only turned back to blue after a week passed in the Palace. Sometimes he seemed to realize he was falling deeper into the darkness. Those times, he would not come close to the twins' room, he would not talk to her and would spend all his time in his office or his room. And sometimes, he didn't notice.

She was afraid of him then.

He stayed true to his word, did not even raise his hand in warning, even when she was cold to him. But she was afraid for the twins. He would start to talk about the dark side, the madness shining in his eyes and all she wanted then, was to protect Luke and Leia from him.

In time she had learnt how to keep her thoughts to herself. Of course, he could read her if he _wanted_ to –she was not sure there was anything he could _not_ do- but he had looked pleased she could master shields of her own.

Somehow, she realized he didn't want to feel what she thought of him.

He began to organize the festivities as soon as he came back. He talked her into accepting an indecent gown, so costly she would not even have worn it when she was still a Senator.

The reception was huge. The Palace was highly secured and the twins looked upon by all her handmaidens in another aisle of their home. The grand ballroom was filled with many people as she sat on her throne next to Anakin. Her husband was reviewing some important cases with his officers even during the reception.

She looked around, feeling bored, her gaze drifting on the assembly, disappointed her family was not there to celebrate her 28th birthday. They had sent her a warm message, even her father, but there was no intention to see her or her children. Noticing her forlorn mood, Anakin had tried to joke this morning, claiming she was much older than he was now. Once, it was something she constantly tortured him about because she knew he didn't like being this younger.

Now, it only made matters worse.

Anakin was only 23 and she could only see all those younger women dressed elegantly in the ballroom, trying to attract his eyes even as she sat right next to him.

Padmé stood up before she realized what she was doing. Anakin stopped his talk with his officers immediately.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his hand taking hers gently.

She smiled as reassuringly as she could.

"I'm taking some fresh air. I'll be back."

Instantly, Anakin indicated to several officers to come with her. She faked a smile, watching as everyone bowed when she stepped down from the throne. People parted respectfully and she was reminded of all the hands she had shaken, of those people pressing near her throne to gain favors. She shot a cold glare to the young women coming closer to the throne now she had departed it. She finally escaped the crowd to reach the terrace. To her surprise, a man was already there.

She smiled.

"Bail?"

He turned around, surprised. There was no smile on his face. He looked at her warily, frowning.

"Leave us." She said sternly, without even turning around.

The officers looked hesitant.

"But His Highness asked us to protect you-"

"I am very well protected, thank you," she snapped. "I order you to leave me alone with Senator Organa."

The men bowed and closed the door to the terrace. She took a step towards her old friend but Bail didn't make any move towards her. Instead, he bowed respectfully in front of her.

She felt sick.

"I do not want to create any friction with the Emperor." He told her sternly, moving to reach the door.

"Bail!" she exclaimed. She had always known what her choice entailed. She knew staying with Anakin meant solitude and she had accepted it. But somehow, now, tonight, seeing Bail Organa, an old friend, one of the very few people she trusted, turn his back to her, was too painful.

"I am really glad to see you, it's been so long," she told him softly, one hand on his arm to stop him from leaving.

He glared at her.

"I'll be frank, Your Highness-"

She shook her head roughly.

"Please, don't call me _that_. You always called me by my first name before."

"Before, you were not the Empress," he snapped. "Before, we were friends."

"You are still my friend, Bail."

He came closer and for the first time of her life, she saw anger on Bail Organa's face. Even when Palpatine declared the Empire, he had not looked this infuriated.

"I'll be frank." He repeated. "I have been disappointed. Deeply. You used everyone like Palpatine did to achieve your secret ambition. You must be proud of yourself."

He reached the door again and she stopped him again.

"I never intended to rule the galaxy, believe me, _please_."

Her eyes searched his in the darkness. He eyed her hand on his arm quietly, with a scornful glare.

"You married a _Jedi_, someone who was close to Palpatine. You used him so he could kill the Emperor and you could become a ruler. Very clever. You even managed to fool me."

"Please, Bail, what you suggest is ridiculous. I am _not_ ruling, may I remind you." Her voice was icy, her honor piqued, his allusions unbearable.

"I am not the only one thinking the same way." He said sternly.

"I'm not ruling!" she repeated louder. "I- " She, who had already found words in the worst situations, could not explain what she was doing exactly, _why_ she had done all this. "I'm not ruling, I woke up from a coma and I was- I'm only taking care of my children…"

She sounded lame and she knew it. She looked down, unable to see Bail's scorn on his face.

"That's what you intend to make people believe. You stay in the shadows, suggesting all the atrocious laws your husband makes the Senate vote every day!"

He stopped himself, realizing he had said too much. Padmé stayed frozen at her spot, reality catching up with her.

When Bail moved for the door, she didn't stop him.

"What laws?" she whispered right before the Senator opened the door to the ballroom.

"Don't make me believe you don't _know_."

She spun around, looked at him quietly.

"What laws?" she repeated.

Bail took a step towards her, his face hard and unforgiving.

"Death penalty if one reporter criticizes you or the Emperor. Death penalty if you hide Jedi. If you hide Force sensitive. All Force sensitive over 13 are _killed_. All babies are tested. All the Force sensitive children are _treated_ and risk death because the intervention is too risky. The daughter I adopted three months ago went through this. She almost _died_."

Padmé took a step backwards in horror.

"No. It's –impossible."

Her own children were Force sensitive.

"Of course, _your_ children are not concerned by this law. Why do you think there was an upheaval on Bakura?"

She shook her head, unable to speak. She had suspected the agitation mentioned on the Holonet was an upheaval. She had not tried to know why.

"A whole town tried to hide Force sensitive adolescents. Vader sent an entire fleet over there. It was rumoured he even went there himself." He paused, his eyes boring into hers in the darkness. "They all died." He paced then, crossing his arms. "I could go on with this! There are many things your husband did!"

She turned away from him, the gown on her body suddenly feeling dirty, paid with the blood of innocents. Her husband was destroying the galaxy. With her silence, her ignorance, she was supporting him. Her legs felt weak. She had to support herself on her hands against the old-fashioned railing. The buzz of the traffic around them made her sick.

There was a hand on her shoulder abruptly.

"Are you all right?"

Bail sounded gentle, concerned. A good man. She didn't deserve his concern.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered. "I didn't know, I didn't-"

She didn't _want_ to know. It was all her fault. _Her_ fault. It was a thing to suspect what Anakin was doing. It was another to face the ugly truth and be confronted to the atrocities as if she had seen them.

"I thought I could save him from himself," she blabbered. "I thought I could make him turn from the dark side. I was wrong! Oh, Bail, I'm so sorry!"

She turned around to face him, shaking. Bail looked dubious.

"You didn't know what was happening? You never ruled? With this all power given to you?"

She shook her head quietly. If he only knew how much this power repulsed her.

"I never liked power. I gave up on my Queen mandate, remember?"

The Senator still looked not convinced.

"I know you and Mon Mothma have founded an organization…" she whispered, suddenly aware of the cameras around them. She came closer, still wary of the security around. She could hear the music in the background. Felt sick. "I never denounced you, right? It would have been so easy…"

Bail looked away.

"Obi-Wan seemed to trust you, even after your marriage to Vader was announced," he said quietly.

"Please, Bail, believe me…" she whispered, taking his hands into hers. "I'll try to help you now. All I ask of you is helping me in return."

He looked wary again.

* * *

There had been no alternative in Padmé's mind. She had to leave. Far away from Anakin. Far away from the way he looked at her and how he could make her forget what she was doing was amoral. She needed to protect her children.

It seemed all the months spent in numbness vanished, the fire inside of her awakened abruptly. It seemed her focus was back in a second. She could not go back to her life and pretend again. The feeling of unfairness, of injustice was too strong inside of her to ignore it now. Cleverly, she had suggested to Bail that they moved out of the terrace to join the blur of the crowd. Without the guards around her, she was able to blend in and hide in a corner with the Senator. The music and conversations around them blurred theirs to the security cameras. They worked up a plan quickly, not risking another minute to be discovered. Bail would contact Obi-Wan and the Jedi would come to retrieve her. Her handmaidens would play a significant role of course, hiding her fleeing from any outsider. She would leave during Anakin's next mission on the Borders. The time it would take for him to discover she was gone would allow her to hide with her children. She knew Obi-Wan would keep his word anyway.

They left each other's company quietly, her politician face back on in a second. When she reached the throne again, Anakin's eyes were strange.

It seemed he could see right through her.

She felt a pang. She didn't want to leave him… But she had to. She felt like she was betraying him, forsaking him. But she had no other choice. _He_ had not left her any other choice. Silently, ignoring the crowd around her bowing as she approached, she sat down, swallowing against the lump in her throat. Wordlessly, she took Anakin's flesh hand in hers, caressed his skin quietly.

_I'm sorry…_


	14. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Padmé was so beautiful.

She didn't seem to notice all the women around her paled in comparison. He didn't even care to _look_ at them anyway. The gown she was wearing was barely enhancing her natural beauty.

Her Force signature shone brightly, soothing and warm around him.

She was beautiful.

Padmé didn't seem to notice how enthralled he was by her presence either.

If he kept his attention on the conversation he held with his officers, Anakin's whole being was turned to his wife.

How much he had missed her during his stay in the Outer Rim. The shadows had grown and amplified around him, choking him. But there had been a light, there, in the horizon, so far away and yet so near. His family. Padmé.

The part of him that would never disappear, this weak man who was never happy, always forlorn even with all he had gained –_with the blood of innocents_- had grown stronger when he came back. Now, it stopped him from sleeping at night. It showed him things he'd rather forget. It reminded him his own wife was repulsed by him.

He felt her attention somewhere else, felt her withdraw herself from the crowd. When she stood and left, his eyes never left her. But when she moved to join the terrace, he frowned, wondering why the beautiful reception didn't seem to please her. Exasperated suddenly, he waved the officers away from the throne, waiting for her impatiently.

Soon enough, he saw the three officers he had sent for her protection, coming back, fear on their faces as they approached him.

"Your Highness…" one of them said, bowing low. "She doesn't want any protection."

Anakin fought the urge to smirk. Padmé would never change. But he could not allow _anything_ to happen to her.

"Idiots." He said quietly. "Go back to her. She cannot be left alone."

"She is not alone, Your Highness," the officer responded shakily. "She asked to be left with Senator Organa."

Anakin waved them away without another word.

The cold spectre of betrayal and suspicion was back. He felt the icy feeling wrap around him and his lips tightened into a thin line.

Why had she asked to be left _alone_ with Organa?

All the possibilities whirled around in his mind, blinding the crowd to his eyes. What were they doing there? Was Organa her-?

No. Padmé stayed in the Palace all the time, had no contact to the outside, he knew it.

He _trusted_ her.

Right?

And yet, all these weeks away in the Outer Rim… Her cold, hesitant attitude when he came back…

The sick feeling amplified inside of him. They had been on the terrace a long time. And if it was not what he suspected… Maybe Organa was putting his Rebel ideas into her mind. Maybe he was trying to turn her against him.

He almost stood up, then, uncaring to make a scandal in the middle of her reception. He would not bother with a trial. He would choke him to death right here, for anyone to see. No one betrayed him and _lived_.

But Padmé and Organa exited the terrace as if on cue. Anakin's eyes narrowed in the distance. She was not leaving him, she was blending into the crowd.

On purpose.

The sick feeling inside of him became anger.

Cold. Precise. Focused.

He asked for his officers abruptly, his eyes never leaving her in the distance. Gave precise instructions. Asked them to follow Organa. Asked them to inspect the camera recording.

Padmé came back a little while afterwards. Her gaze was troubled when she looked at him.

Guilt was pouring out of her in waves.

He only felt coldness wrap around his heart.

He did not even see the crowd in front of him, the music fading. He felt the dark side swirl around him, giving him focus. Washing away the pain of her betrayal.

Abruptly, her small hand wrapped around his softly.

She had not showed him this kind of tenderness in _months_.

He felt the urge to crush her fingers with his, make her confess, make her _hurt_.

But he stayed calm. Hurt would come later. He would make sure she would never again betray him.

He was ruminating all those dark thoughts, picturing how exactly he would torture Organa himself when he felt _her_ breath in his ear abruptly.

"I want to spend time with you…" she whispered. He could barely hear her with the music around them. "Please make the reception end…"

How did she do this?

He almost forgot her betrayal and the icy feeling in his ribcage. He could only feel _her_. He could only feel his heart beat louder in his chest as she leant close to him. Pulling away slightly, he looked at her, searching her eyes for any deception.

Brown eyes suddenly very close to his face shone with tears and…

She was sincere. He could see it.

* * *

Listening to the music around them made Padmé sick. Suddenly, she wanted to be alone with Anakin. Suddenly she wanted to look into his eyes and forget for what may be the last time.

Suddenly she wanted all those people away.

Anakin stiffened visibly when she leant close to him. Alarm rang in her mind.

Did he know? Had he guessed what she was up to?

She pushed the fear away from her mind.

He pulled away as she whispered in his ear, searched her eyes quietly. She had not been tender with him in _forever_. He was always the one issuing contact usually. And he seemed to be surprised that she caressed his hand in front of everyone. It felt strange somehow. All these years spent hiding her love for him and now when they _could_ love each other in front of everyone to see, unable to show it.

Everything was suddenly quiet as they walked in the corridors in silence. Her gown was a little cumbersome and Anakin was marching slower to allow her to keep up.

They reached her chambers quietly.

After the reception ended, still very late, despite Anakin's efforts, they had stopped by to check on the twins, careful not to wake them up. They had looked so adorable. So fragile as she kissed their foreheads tenderly.

Now Anakin looked preoccupied. He was frowning and stood rigid beside her.

Something deep inside of her rose and before Padmé knew it, she had thrust herself into her husband's arms, kissing him. His lips felt warm against hers and his arms, stiff at first, went around her strongly as she caressed his hair and strained to get closer. In a blur, Anakin had opened the door to her room and pressed her against it as soon as it shut down, trailing passionate kisses down her throat.

Her mind span, forgotten feelings rising forth.

"Ani…" she murmured, hands tangling in his hair, urging him lower.

His lips stilled on her skin.

He pulled away from her, searched her eyes in the darkness, his body still pressing against hers.

"What were you doing with Organa?"

His voice was clipped, harsh.

It was demanding.

She struggled to hide her real feelings in the matter.

"We discussed politics." She said quietly, reaching for him again.

But Anakin escaped her grasp in annoyance, blue eyes flashing in the darkness.

"_Politics_? Then why do you feel guilty?"

She pursed her lips.

Trust. She had to make him trust her or all would be lost. She ignored the pang of guilt because he would feel it. Concentrated on her duty.

"Because I told him I did not agree with you on some matters."

She was astonished to see she had not lied once.

He looked dubious. She felt coldness wrap around her, knew he was probing her feelings. She shivered. Abruptly, she diverted his attention, trailed kisses on his throat. He closed his eyes, pulled her closer shakily.

"I miss you…" she whispered against his skin, felt him restrain himself.

She was shocked to realize she really meant the words.

But he only pushed her away slightly, peering into her eyes.

"Are you involved with Organa?" he whispered, looking vulnerable suddenly.

She frowned. "Involved?"

He looked down. Something violent came over her. It almost felt like seeing the young man stumbling over himself in her apartment, so long ago.

"I've been away a long time…" he only whispered, still unable to meet her eyes.

She understood anyway. Felt something warm fill her abruptly.

She kissed him passionately, murmured that she was only his, let him caress her for the first time in _forever_…

But Anakin stopped abruptly. She frowned, panting in the darkness as he pulled himself away from her.

There was so much sadness on his face.

Silently, he left her there, closing the door behind him.

Padmé slid on the floor quietly, frowning, unable to understand why he had pushed her away like that. The old ugly self-questioning came back. She wondered if the dark side made him unable to love anyone but himself now.

Maybe her decision _really_ was the right one.

* * *

Padmé was there, soft and warm and inviting for the first time since… he could not remember. She kissed him, murmured words of tenderness. The part of him he hated rose within, ignoring the dark whispers in his mind and kissed her back, willing to spend the whole night with her, not let go and…

In the darkness, her Force signature shone, as pure as it had always been. Her feelings came over him abruptly. They were soft, tender, warm.

It was love.

He didn't know what it was any longer.

The beast within him roared, made him see what she may have spent her time doing with Organa and it pushed on relentlessly until he felt the pain of her betrayal again.

It urged him to hurt her for lying to him.

She could say all she wanted, he felt the guilt, the apprehension. Knew she had kissed him to divert his attention in the first place.

It was growing stronger. And in the darkness, his own Force signature was tainted. In his mind's eye, he saw the very blood on his skin taint her with every caress, every kiss.

He pushed her away from him.

Both parts of him agreed on one thing.

He was not the man she had loved so long ago. He was too tainted for her to purify him again.

The part inside of him that had reached for her earlier died down with a murmur as he left her room.

There was only determination now.

If Padmé had no affair with the Senator, there was still something going on. Possibly involving Obi-Wan. He wanted to know what she was plotting.

And then, there would be nothing to protect her from his wrath.


	15. Chapter 12

Thank you everyone for all your reviews! I'm really flattered by all these comments. :)

* * *

**Chapter 12**

Dormé accepted to act like her mistress as the Empress eclipsed herself out of the Palace quietly. Padmé hurried down the noisy streets, the hood firmly in place to shield her from any outsiders.

Everything span around her abruptly. Her hands found a cold wall and she breathed out shakily. She had not been out in so long. All this noise, the thick air of Coruscant, she had forgotten how it felt like. Shaking her head to wash away the sudden dizziness, she walked faster. In the distance, the Jedi Temple still stood. She looked at it silently as she marched, surprised Anakin had kept it intact.

It would have been so easy to destroy the reminder of his sins.

She frowned, chased the thoughts away. If she thought of Anakin, she would not have the strength to go on. And if she even let herself believe there was a chance he could still feel guilty, that he could turn away from the dark side… she would crumble down.

Failure was impossible now.

Her children needed her. The people enslaved in this galaxy needed her.

She would not give up.

After taking several transports, Padmé finally reached the underground. The place Bail had suggested for a meeting felt almost dangerous. She almost reached out for the hidden blaster underneath her clothes to reassure herself. She had not felt this rush of adrenaline in very long. Sheltered by Anakin's presence for the past few months, she had not faced danger in a very long time. It was one thing that had not changed.

Anakin would not allow any harm to come to her.

Apart from himself.

She sighed discreetly, refocusing her attention on the fearsome creatures roaming the dark streets of the Coruscant underground.

It was now or never, she realized. A small part of her wanted to turn away and go back to the Palace. Picturing a life without Anakin was unbearable. Picturing his devastation at her betrayal was no better.

She bit her lip, eyeing the other end of the street. Bail may understand if she told him she renounced for now…

_There is good in Anakin_.

She could feel it, almost rarely now, but she could. Could she give up now? Could she really walk away and leave him with his inner demons?

Her thoughts were interrupted as someone gripped her arm very hard, pushing her against a dirty wall. Disgusting hands tried to bury inside her cloak to search for anything worth. Years of training came back instinctively and she pushed the creature away from her, giving him appropriate kicks at the right places. He fled immediately and some people stepped away from her in the crowd, casting her apprehensive glances.

Padmé sighed deeply, smoothing down her cloak.

For all his talks, Anakin had not succeeded in eradicating the small criminality in the lower levels of Coruscant…

It was only then she noticed someone watching her in the distance. The man quickly looked away, and resumed kissing the Twi'Lek in his arms. She frowned, stepped further into the darkness, eyed her surroundings.

Here. Someone who was trying to appear detached at the entrance of a club. Here. Another man coughing loudly next to a companion and seemingly buying drugs, yet with eyes scanning the crowd expertly.

The meeting place was spied on.

Her heart dropped, the implications of what Bail would risk if she met him there weighing on her mind. Anakin had suspected something, just as she feared.

Quietly, she escaped the shadows, returning to the Palace slowly. In the public transport, she fought against the tears.

There was still hope.

And maybe it was better this way. If she had fled away from Anakin, he would have stopped at nothing to find her and their children. He would have killed to find her. And what would she be able to bring to the Alliance Bail and Mon had created? But if she stayed in the Palace, if Anakin trusted her, she could forward them information, she could be useful to them.

But she had to make Anakin trust her again.

* * *

It was dark when she came back to the Palace. Dormé was able to make her go past the security and she sighed in relief when her faithful handmaiden told her Anakin had not yet come back. They hurried down the empty corridors and Padmé stopped on her way to her room to see her children. Staying with them for awhile, she joined the adjacent room and pulled off her cloak, letting it fall on the floor. Boots quickly joined the material on the ground. Her fingers reached the jumpsuit she had worn beneath and started to pull at her clothes.

From her window, she could see the lights of the traffic outside, the room still dark. Sighing, she decided to open the door to her balcony. She needed some fresh air.

She reached out a hand towards the entry console on her right.

Her hand froze in mid air. She stifled a gasp as her heart skipped a beat.

In the darkness, her eyes had crossed yellow ones shining in the grand window's reflection. Anakin was sitting on a chair in a corner behind her, arms crossed against his chest.

Watching her.

Padmé shivered, instinctively pulling her top back on.

"Anakin…" she whispered, turning around, faking a smile.

He didn't move in the darkness.

She swallowed against the uneasy feeling closing her throat.

"You're back early…" she elaborated, taking a shaky step in his direction.

His eyes were yellow. She hated it when he was like that. And it could only mean one thing. He was under the dark side's hold now. He had just _used_ the dark side.

"How was your little escapade?" he asked slowly.

Shivers went down her spine. He still had not moved and that was what frightened her the most. He felt like a stranger when he was this cold. She'd rather have him yell at her, be angry. At least, then, she would be sure he would keep his word.

_I will not hurt you again_.

She sighed. Was there any point in denying the truth?

He knew. That much was obvious.

"It was not an escapade. I had to see Bail Organa."

Silence was oppressive as his eyes bore into hers. She shivered further.

"I am surprised to see you admitting so easily," he said quietly.

And then a cold smile on his lips.

"Organa did not admit that fast."

Her heart stopped, her legs threatening to give out.

"What did you do to him?" she whispered in horror.

He stayed silent, watching her with a cruel smile. Her legs really gave out then and she collapsed onto the ground, hugging herself.

"What did you do to him?" she repeated hoarsely.

_If anything happened to Bail, I will never forgive myself…_

"He is still alive if that is what you fear," he replied nonchalantly.

She exhaled in relief, feeling her heart beat again.

"For now."

"What do you mean?" Her throat was so closed off she could only murmur, staring up at him from her spot on the ground.

"He will be executed tomorrow."

Her mouth opened in shock.

"Executed?" she could only utter.

He nodded, the smile gone from his face, only leaving hard lines on his face.

"He was found guilty for high treason just today. Maybe this is why you could not see him at your _meeting_."

He was infuriated now and he was visibly restraining himself.

"High treason? But what-"

"Oh but my _love_," she shivered in the darkness. "He wanted to _abduct_ the Empress and the rightful heirs to the Throne. I believe this can qualify as high treason."

Padmé stared at her husband, trembling before him, feeling an unwanted feeling, a _foreign_ feeling, rise inside of her.

Hatred.

Her lip trembled.

"What have you done to him?"

She could no longer look at him in the eye, the unwanted feeling worming its way inside of her in spite of herself.

"Organa admitted after an hour of _discussion_."

Her husband had tortured the only person who had tried to help her.

"I was quite appalled at the time it took to go through his shields though I have to admit I made it _slow_. _No_ mind can resist me."

She stayed silent. He rose from his seat. She didn't look at him.

"At least you didn't lie about the affair," he said angrily. She could feel the rage rise inside of him steadily.

"Say something!"

Her eyes stayed riveted to the floor.

"How did you know?" she whispered.

"You are so easy to read, Padmé. You should have known you could not lie to me. When will you understand that I am the most powerful Sith _ever_?!"

The last part had been yelled and she felt the overwhelming darkness wrap around her. Strange how she could feel it even more than before now. She could almost taste it as the waves twirled around her.

"Look at me," he ground out furiously.

She let her eyes riveted to the ground stubbornly.

Her chin rose despite herself, an invisible force pushing it up forcefully. Above her, his yellow eyes shone dangerously.

"I _trusted_ you. And you betrayed me."

Something broke inside of her.

"I'm sorry…" she said, her lip trembling.

If he wanted to kill her now, she only wished he would not harm their children because of her.

"How can you even think this of me?" He asked angrily, obviously picking up on her thoughts.

She closed her eyes shakily.

"Look at me!"

She opened her eyes again, blinking the tears away furiously.

"I want you to implore my forgiveness," he said coldly.

His eyes were shining with madness. She would never be able to get through to him in this state.

"I-" she exhaled shakily. "I will do whatever you want, just spare Bail, _please_."

An invisible force made her float in the air abruptly, until she was at his eye's level.

"Do you really think I will spare this traitor after what he tried to do to _me_?"

"Put me down, Anakin, please," she said quietly.

He stared at her angrily before she reached the ground again forcefully. Padmé wavered, almost stumbling.

And then she forced herself to look at him.

"Bail is influent," she said quietly. "If you order him to be killed, you will only push people on his side. He will be turned into a martyr."

"I don't care about that." He spat. "_No one _stands up against me."

"Fear doesn't hold back people forever, Anakin." She replied as quietly as before. "Keep Bail alive. No one knows about what he intended to do for now. Let's keep it between us."

Anakin's nostrils flared.

"Your politician words will not work with me!" He spat out.

Roughly, he pulled her against him, forcing her to look at him. She didn't fight his cold embrace, even though his grip hurt.

"I did not lie to you," she whispered, peering into his eyes even if she hated the color in them. "I had no affair with Bail. And I renounced to my leaving-"

The grip of his gloves around her frail body tightened.

"Liar!"

"I was supposed to meet him. But I didn't! I didn't wait for him, I turned around and came back because I could not leave you!"

"Stop trying to manipulate me!" he rumbled in this dark voice she had grown to know. "If you say another word-"

And then she did something that stopped his rage in a second.

She kissed him.

His grip on her arms tightened painfully as he pushed her away from him.

"Very clever," he said angrily.

She did not relent, reached for him again. He let go of her abruptly, stepping backwards.

"Stop doing this…" He spat.

"I'm sorry, Anakin…" she whispered, stepping towards him. "But I swear to you, I didn't want to leave you."

"Stop lying to me!" he yelled, as his back reached the wall.

Somewhere deep inside, her mind registered the irony of their situation. The greatest Sith ever, as he had just reminded her, was backing away from the small woman she was.

Even in these yellow eyes, she could still see the almost desperate _need_ to believe her.

"Look into my mind," she said quietly. "You'll know-"

In a move so quick she was still reeling from it, he had spun them around and she was the one pressed against the wall, his furious eyes settling on her. She felt the cold familiar presence entering her mind, making her shiver. Padmé put all her dark feelings, her fear for Bail Organa's deep inside her, the other feelings, the warm and regretful ones rising forth.

Anakin pulled away from her mind abruptly, leaving her panting in the darkness.

"Give me one reason to spare Organa," he said roughly.

"Because I'm begging you to do it…" she replied hoarsely, tears falling on her cheeks. "Please, Anakin, this is the only thing I'm ever going to ask of you. I'll do whatever you want from now on."

"Fine." He spat, pulling away from her. "You'll be at my side now. You will do whatever I say."

She closed her eyes shakily, nodded quietly.

"Is this clear?"

She bit her lower lip so hard she felt blood and nodded shakily.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked lowly, unable to look at him in the eye, feeling her heart break in million pieces to see what was left of them now.

His fingers grasped her chin, made her look up and into his eyes.

She could only see lava.

"I want you to love me," he said quietly, almost exhaustingly as she felt the claws of the dark side widen, releasing him, _them_, the darkness evaporating progressively.

Her small fingers reached up to his tunic, slowly divesting him of the clothes, baring his chest to her. He looked at her in surprise as she trailed kisses on his skin slowly. She squeezed her eyes shut and heard him sigh against her hair.

"Don't ever betray me again…" he whispered against the mass of curls he had just unleashed from their confines.

"I will not hurt you again, Anakin, I promise," she said hoarsely. "But please…"

"I will spare Organa," he replied dryly. "I give you my word."

She sighed in relief against his skin, shut her eyes tightly, let him take her into his arms and push her on the bed. His hands felt different on her skin. They were rougher, impatient as he explored her. She tightened her shut eyes and pictured her husband. She pictured Anakin before, pictured _him_ even when the impatient hands tore her jumpsuit apart, pictured _him_ when his mouth went lower.

A sob escaped her chest.

His weight shifted on her.

"Look at me, Padmé…"

She opened her eyes again. Saw blue eyes stare at her, irises covered with patches of yellow still, but blue.

She said nothing, only eyed him quietly.

Suddenly Anakin pulled away from her, tears coiling in his eyes as he looked down at her.

"I told you I would spare Organa," he said slowly. "I only want your word that you will never do something like this again."

If she was honest with herself, she would realize he was afraid of touching her.

But Padmé did not want to be honest with herself. She felt cold, wanted to be the furthest away from him.

"I want unwavering loyalty now…" he whispered.

She nodded her approval, tears falling on her cheeks soundlessly.

He departed her room without a glance backwards.


	16. Chapter 13 a

Hello! Here's Chapter 13 a/! Hope you enjoy it. I'll try to post the next part very soon. :)

Thanks so much for all these reviews! You can marry this story if you wish ;) but I can't tell you if Anakin is redeemed in the end. It would ruin the suspense. Again, thank you all for the kind words. :)

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**Chapter 13 a/**

Anakin Skywalker snapped out of sleep roughly.

Looking around as he panted in the silent room, he exhaled loudly.

He had fallen asleep on the desk of his office.

After he left Padmé the night before, he had entered his training aisle to fight. Pulling out his lightsaber, he had fought heavily against the droids he had built himself during Padmé's coma. Relentlessly, not allowing himself a minute of rest, he had gone on until he realized it was late.

Rubbing his eyes, the young Emperor called his advisers. They always looked apprehensive on the screen. He despised their weakness, their pitiful faces twisted up in fear. He roughly ordered them to cancel Organa's execution and release him but assigned spies on his case. At the smallest doubt, he would put this traitor back into the cell he had only escaped thanks to Padmé. Bail Organa was to go back to Alderaan and stay there. He would find an excuse to justify Organa's dismissal from the Senate. His aides tried to hide their surprise in vain. One even tried to know why he was so clement.

Lord Vader took his time to choke that assistant to death.

When that was done, he shut off his console, not even sparing the others a word. In a blur, he moved up to his private quarters and undressed. In the shower, he sighed deeply.

Even after these late hours spent exercising last night, he could smell _her_ all over him.

Padmé _hated_ him now. If he had had any doubts about her repulsion of him, they were washed away now.

The part of him that yearned for her felt pain so unimaginable he could not breathe anymore.

Padmé hated him.

And this part would not stay silent. It reminded him he was a monster, that she was right to hate him. It told him Padmé was ready to do anything to save a friend but wanted to flee the furthest away from him, even willing to take his children with her.

The other part of him took the opportunity to remind him she had been the one to betray him. After all he had done for her, -_those you killed_- , all he had given up for her.

He had given her his whole _life_, his soul; everything he was, he had laid it on the floor to Sidious. For what?

Padmé hated him. For sometime, he had been able to forget this, sure he could win her over again. He kissed her and nothing else mattered. But then, he felt withdraw herself from him. Physically, emotionally.

She had only reached for him to save Organa. She was repulsed by his mere touch.

And she was right after all.

Last night, he wanted her to hurt when it was confirmed Bail was to help her to leave. When she began to talk, he wanted to grip her lying throat and hurt her until she would feel the pain in his chest. And somehow, deep inside of him, he wanted her to hurt him too. He wanted to feel her condemnation and her rejection. Because she was right.

He was disgusting.

His life was so ironic somehow.

Giving up everything to save her and having her almost die of it. Killing the Emperor to protect her and his children. And having her hating him as much as she hated Palpatine. Giving her all she wanted, the whole world, an _Empire_ and having her refuse him and willing to leave him for it.

Accusing her of betraying him with Obi-Wan when she obviously didn't and believing her lies when she obviously did betray him.

And now, he was stuck with his choice, the one he made a long time ago as he knelt in front of Palpatine.

And it had given him _nothing_. He had lost _everything_ in return.

For a split second, Anakin wished he was Obi-Wan or Organa. Anybody else just so she could look at him with a smile on her face. So she could not condemn him with her deep brown eyes. For a split second, he wanted to be Obi-Wan to push away the ghosts haunting him.

He, of all people, of all _time_, wanted to be Obi-Wan if only it could redeem him in her eyes.

He laughed under the water, the laughter mad, insane resonating in the shower, until the laughter turned into sobs and they wracked down his body. His face twisted up under the hot jets of water and he fought against the pain spreading inside his chest.

When he woke up this morning, after one of his most unsettling nightmares- _Obi-Wan and lava and… choking_- he had reached for her instinctively. But she was not there.

She would never be there again.

_And you deserve it_.

The pain turned into self-hatred progressively, into something uglier, cold and soothing.

When he exited his room to fly towards the Senate, Lord Vader felt strangely calm. The dark side was there, safe, protecting and there was no emptiness anymore.

* * *

Padmé Skywalker opened her eyes sleepily, the faint sound of traffic drifting in the silent room. Abruptly, the events of the night before came back to her and she shivered, the vision of yellow eyes settling on her coming back, feeling Anakin's rage choking her.

And then, his hands on her body again. In a blur. She barely remembered how they had passed from yelling at each other to the bed but somehow it had calmed him.

And then, he had left her.

She had won, hadn't she? Bail was safe - _if Anakin kept his promise_ - and there would be no payback for what she had attempted to do.

But something had changed last night. Inside of her.

Because for the first time, she had hated him. For a split second, she had wanted him to hurt for everything.

Padmé got up wearily, pulled on a robe.

Somehow, she had always known they would lose each other along the way.

But the realization hurt all the same.

It hurt and she had to get out of her room. She joined Luke and Leia's room, closing the door behind her. They were sleeping peacefully, still so innocent and perfect. She fell to her knees before the cribs, reaching out a hand to caress their foreheads quietly. Leia stirred in her sleep but Luke barely moved. Always so calm…

She watched them silently for a long time.

* * *

The Jedi leapt high up in the air, dodging the heavy trees and breathing heavily. His only focus was the Force. He could feel it inside of him, merging with his body, its boundless energy giving him the strength to go on.

Until he stumbled down.

Something felt strange in the Force.

Pain. He could feel it, tenuously, but he could.

"Feel this you did, Obi-Wan?"

He refocused on Master Yoda's face as the diminutive Jedi sat on a trunk a little bit ahead of him.

"Yes, Master." He struggled to exhale and moved towards the tree slowly. When he reached it, _at last_, he sat down next to the other Jedi heavily.

With its small amount of oxygen, this planet was a nightmare when one wanted to do a little bit of exercise.

"What do you think it was?" He asked, still striving to breathe.

_You're getting old, Master!_

Anakin's mocking voice during the war echoed in his head and Obi-Wan winced. Thinking of him was too painful. He chased the thought away roughly.

"Mmh…" Yoda closed his eyes, in that gesture that never failed to annoy Obi-Wan. He always had the impression the Master knew something he did not. He was so attuned to the Force, why couldn't he see what Master Yoda obviously knew?

"Let go of this arrogance, you should."

Yoda's voice, tainted with slight amusement startled the younger Jedi.

Obi-Wan constantly struggled to release all his frustration into the Force. Living on Dagobah was difficult. The planet, which was basically _mud_, was not appropriate to human beings. He would rather live on Tatooine.

He sighed deeply, striving to gain his focus again. When he was calm enough, he opened his eyes to find himself watched by Yoda.

"Better," the old Jedi murmured, nodding. "Help, Senator Organa needs."

Obi-Wan sprung to his feet, his exhaustion forgotten.

"Padmé?"

Yoda watched him curiously.

"Of your anger against young Skywalker, not let go, you have."

Obi-Wan frowned.

"I gave my word to Padmé that I would help her, Master."

"Help her or her child?"

His Master's eyes seemed to pierce through him and he sighed.

"Not the way of a Jedi, revenge is."

"I know, Master. But if Padmé is in danger…"

He should have taken her with him even if she did not agree. She had been blinded by whatever feelings she had for Anakin- _Vader_- and he should have protected her from herself.

At least, Obi-Wan surmised that was what Anakin would have wanted.

He looked around, breathing deeply. He could not bear to stay here and do nothing. He could not bear to do nothing against Vader. He was the last Sith. If he killed him, the galaxy would be free.

And he would free Anakin from himself.

"To go to Bail Organa, you want?"

He nodded, eyeing Master Yoda quietly.

"If I can kill Vader, the Sith will be no more. He couldn't have had the time to corrupt his child."

Master Yoda looked thoughtful, as if pondering something.

"Very powerful, your former apprentice has become."

Obi-Wan looked down, remembering his disastrous performance against Darth Sidious. He still felt guilty about this.

"Your fault, it was not, Obi-Wan," Master Yoda said roughly, breaking his line of thinking as his cane hit the ground repeatedly. "The Will of the Force, it was."

Obi-Wan sighed. "Master, if I had not tried to kill Sidious myself, you would have succeeded."

"Of the past, to let go, you have, Obi-Wan," he said sternly. "Against the dark side we all have to fight."

"I have to go there. I have to check on Bail Organa. It's the least I can do after what he did for us."

Yoda nodded, waving him away calmly, his cane still tapping on the muddy floor.

When Obi-Wan came back, his rare belongings with him to join his small ship, he could almost swear the old Master was talking. _To himself?_

Obi-Wan frowned. _Had the grief of these times driven Master Yoda insane?_

But Obi-Wan did not have the courage to question Yoda. Instead he buried down worrisome thought, as he prepared his ship for his journey.


	17. Chapter 13 b

**Thank you so much for all these reviews... *hugs* Here's the second part of Chapter 13. Hope you like it. :)**

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**Chapter 13 b/**

"Ouch."

Padmé frowned, looking down.

R2 had bumped into her roughly as she exited the kitchen, beeping slowly.

"What is it?" She sighed.

The droid whistled sadly.

Padmé frowned. If R2 was here, it meant _Anakin_ was back. It was much earlier than usual. The sun had not even set. For once, she would have wanted C3PO to be here to translate, but she had left him with her handmaidens to watch over the twins as she went through her daily inspection of the kitchen. Smoothing down her elegant clothes, she arched an eyebrow to the faithful droid.

Artoo only beeped louder. Then the droid strolled away, leaving her dumbfounded.

She was still staring after him when she noticed where he was going.

Towards Anakin's office.

She sighed. If R2 wanted her to go to her husband, he was sadly mistaken. She didn't want to see him. Padmé cursed inwardly as the feelings she had managed to forget the whole day, returned in full force. She leant against the golden wall, exhaling loudly.

The knowledge that everything was broken between Anakin and her was impossible to face. Not now. If she did not see him, she could pretend there was still hope.

If she saw him now and he rejected her – _again_ – she would not bear it.

And she didn't want to feel that horrible feeling again. She never again wanted to hate Anakin.

* * *

Emperor Vader cursed loudly, his fists tightening as he sat behind his desk.

"You are incompetent." He spat to the spies on his screen.

"Your Highness," The officer in front of him trembled. "We don't have any other information for now. Organa stays in his Palace all day. There has been no trace of any contact to the outside for now."

"He is plotting something," Vader said slowly. "Investigate more. Or suffer my wrath."

The communication was cut off with a flick of his wrist. If his threat was not enough, then he didn't know what could be. They had all looked positively faint with fear.

The young Sith allowed himself a little smirk.

He liked the sensation of power he held over them. They were so weak. So easy to manipulate. And he would not tolerate any failure anyway. Organa had to be executed one way or another.

He was too dangerous to be kept alive.

A beeping startled him.

R2 was whistling sadly on the threshold. The droid was acting strangely now. It beeped constantly, grating on his nerves. If it went on like this, he would stop flying with it.

"Leave, R2," he said coldly.

The beeping got louder, almost angrily.

Maybe Obi-Wan was right when he said R2's circuits were-

The young Sith opened the door roughly, pushing the droid outside and closing the door again with the Force. Seething with anger at himself for letting the _traitor_ invade his thoughts, he eyed the datapads on his desk.

He didn't want to think now. Hours of examining useless bills was the perfect way to stop thinking.

It was useless. But it had to be done anyway. He half-considered forwarding them to his advisors but thought better of it. They were incompetent and he had to review every bill anyway. Beneath an innocent proposition could very well appear a desire to bring back a semblance of democracy.

Vader didn't know how much time he had spent going through the files, rubbing his eyes when he noticed it was night outside. He sighed deeply, remembering Luke and Leia must be sleeping now. But thinking of his children, if it softened him at first, only reminded him of their mother.

He keyed some instructions into another datapad roughly.

It was only then he felt her.

His head turned to the left and he eyed her quietly.

"What is it?" He snapped.

Was she here to feed him with lies again? An ugly part of him would have liked her to be here to thrust herself at his feet and implore forgiveness.

But Padmé was a Queen, wasn't she? She would never beg.

His traitorous mind reminded him that she had begged him already. Begged him to leave with her. Begged him to spare Organa.

And it reminded him he would have been at _her_ feet in a second if only she forgave him.

It only infuriated him further.

"What is it?" he asked more roughly.

Padmé froze in the entryway. She shook her head and moved to leave, her nightgown glistening in the growing darkness.

Anakin was suddenly afraid. The shadows had seemingly disappeared ever since she stepped into the room. He didn't want her to go. He wanted her to stay and illuminate the room like she always did.

But now her presence was subdued in the Force.

Had he succeeded in destroying her completely?

"Wait," he called out a little bit more gently.

Padmé turned around slowly, still eyeing him with this empty look.

"What did you want?" He asked, his face a mask devoid of emotions.

She looked down, bit her lower lip, lacing her fingers together. She always did that when she was nervous about something.

"I was wondering what you were doing." She said quietly.

He arched an eyebrow. She had never wondered before. She would go to sleep without waiting for him and he would sit at her bedside, watching her sleep quietly. And when she waited for him, she would never ask anything about what he was doing out there.

Before it had always felt so natural to talk to her. Now, there was always this dark cloud hanging over them. She only talked about the twins. Or she stayed silent and he would join her in her silent examination of the traffic outside.

"I'm signing some decrees," he grumbled, refocusing on the datapads.

He heard the sound of her nude feet on the luxurious carpet, of her robe ruffling against her nightgown as she approached and he struggled to focus on the endless lines and numbers in front of him. In spite of himself, he looked up and saw her sitting down in a seat at the side of his desk. His eyes were attracted to the wayward curls circling her face and he looked away.

"What do you want?" He asked, keying in some codes and taking another datapad.

Padmé looked down, fingers tracing the material of his desk.

"I wanted to see you," she said softly.

"What for?" He asked roughly.

If she wanted to be allowed to get out of the Palace, she was sadly mistaken. He would not fall for her lies again. He didn't trust her any longer.

But she only kept her eyes riveted to the desk.

"I just wanted to see you…" she murmured.

He swallowed against the lump in his throat and looked at her. She looked up as well and her brown eyes bore into his quietly.

"I have work to do," Anakin said slowly, his grip on the datapad tightening as he forced himself to ignore the feelings she awoke in him with a simple glance. "You should go to sleep."

"I want to stay," she whispered. "I like watching you working."

He looked away abruptly, forgotten memories rising forth.

_The look in her eyes when he did his katas on those rare days they spent together during the war._

_"I like watching you training," she told him mischievously before laughing as he interrupted his lightsaber training to scoop her in his arms and lead her to more interesting things… How could he focus when she was there?_

_Watching her from afar as she made Holonet calls and watching her serious political face and admiring her from where he laid in their bed. He was so proud to be her husband. He almost felt like a little boy next to a Queen in those instants._

_"Stop watching me," she said, smirking after cutting off one of her communications. "You're distracting me."_

_"I like watching you working." He only responded, smiling. _

He didn't say anything, reviewing the bills silently. He could feel her gaze on him and it distracted him. The cold feeling that she was interested in something else came back. He remembered the camera recording on her birthday and the look on her face at whatever Bail was telling her. He had been unable to hear what they were saying then but he could only guess.

That traitor must have told her about what was going on in the Senate.

Vader was about to tell her to leave roughly when he felt something warm and soft on his hand. He froze, his eyes focusing on Padmé's hand on his. She fingered the real skin quietly. He bit his lip and looked away again.

Something in him told him to be wary of her. And something else told him he _missed_ her so much. Even moreso than during the war.

"Anakin…" She breathed.

He stared at the datapad in his glove stubbornly.

"I don't want to lose you," she said quietly.

Something inside of him snapped and he moved to pull his hand from beneath hers. But she held on tight, her fingers wrapping around his.

"Then you shouldn't have betrayed me!" He hissed but let his hand in hers.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered, her head bending down to cover his hand with feather-like kisses.

His heart beat louder at the sweet sensation.

And suddenly Padmé rushed out of her seat and thrust herself into his arms, burying her face in the crook of his neck. He felt the warm liquid of her tears against his skin as she pressed herself against him. He wanted to be cold to her. He wanted to stop feeling. But she was holding onto him and for once, he almost felt like _Anakin_ again. His fingers seemed to move on their own accord, grasping the silky material of her nightgown.

"I'm so sorry…" she whispered against his skin, her sweet voice drifting to his ear.

He swallowed painfully, feeling himself growing weaker. Sighing deeply, he gave up on controlling those emotions inside of him and pulled her on his lap completely, hugging her close. She wrapped her legs around him and held on tight.

She felt so fragile in his arms. He breathed in her hair and murmured her name. She only cuddled closer to him.

He held her as she cried. He fought against the reaction in his body she never failed to provoke, above all now she was so close. He even forgot the stain on his hands. Because she was crying and he had never been able to stand it. When Padmé became still in his arms, he realized he was exhausted. He moved to escape her arms because she needed to go to sleep but she only tightened her embrace, pulling away slightly to watch him.

Even with her swollen eyes, she was so beautiful. His real fingers reached out and traced her cheeks as he sighed deeply. She said nothing, only buried her face in his neck again.

He liked the sensation too much to tell her to go to bed.

When they separated at dawn, and she escaped his office quietly, he was surprised to see there was a faint trace of tears on his cheeks.


	18. Chapter 14

Hello, everyone! *waves* Thanks so much for the reviews! Here's Chapter 14!

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**Chapter 14**

"And pay attention to the thermal detector…"

The protocol droid nodded, standing proudly beside the cribs. Padmé smiled slightly as she made her way down the stairs. C3PO was always proud to take care of the twins himself even though he fretted over nothing most of the time. Luke and Leia were sleeping for now but she liked it better when the droid watched over them.

She reached the first floor and walked down the corridor, tightening the robe around her nightgown. When she reached the door, she breathed out slowly and knocked slightly.

No answer.

She frowned and palmed the door to Anakin's chambers open.

Entering the room as the door clicked shut behind her, she couldn't help but shiver. Anakin was not there, obviously staying late in the Senate once again but the room still held a sense of emptiness that always choked her the rare times she stepped inside. It was majestic, and suited perfectly well to the Emperor's chambers but it felt… empty. Passing a hand on the silky black sheets of the bed, she sighed deeply.

Taking the console beside the bed into her hands, she settled in one of the comfortable seats in one corner and turned on the Holonet.

Always the same news, over and over again.

She could almost believe the Empire was the best thing that had ever happened to the Galaxy. According to these reporters, the special police deployed by Emperor Vader and the clonetroopers was the only thing standing between the good citizens of the Empire and the group of wild, manic Jedi roaming the streets. According to the news, those dangerous Jedi could be everywhere. A lot of them hid in the shadows, ready and eager to strike down innocent, unsuspecting citizens with their powerful, deadly wizardry.

To think Jedi were once hailed as heroes…

Padmé sighed as she heard her name pronounced.

Another Quarter of a city on a distant planet had just been renamed with her own.

She knew she had to be patient. Anakin's trust was not easily gained and she had to be prudent. But still, all of this annoyed her. Padmé couldn't wait for the right time to act. She was eager to make a difference now and change what Anakin had done to the galaxy.

The Holonet turned to Alderaan and news of Bail Organa, officially destitute from his position of Senator and King of the Planet. She sighed again. Bail was such a good leader. But at least he was alive. She had been relieved to see Anakin had kept his promise when she learnt of Bail's abrupt departure from Coruscant.

When she entered her husband's office several nights before, he had been rough and she had feared the worst. She knew she had to make him trust her again. And more importantly, she was deeply afraid of losing him.

She had not been prepared for her outburst. It had come, just like that. Before she knew it, she had been in his arms, surprised herself to realize she was crying.

And Anakin had simply held her.

Padmé's gaze was lost in the distance.

For a short while, she felt like she had Anakin again. _Her_ Anakin.

The holos continued to defile in front of her and she felt her eyelids close in spite of herself.

Something snapped her out of sleep. She opened her eyes, disorientated, realizing the console was no longer in her hands. Something tall and dark was in the shadows and she recoiled instinctively.

"What are you doing here?"

Anakin asked the question softly as he removed his hood and shrugged out of his dark cloak. She felt her heartbeat come back to normal. There was no trace of anger in him and she was relieved.

"I couldn't sleep…" she whispered, repositioning herself on the cosy seat.

He eyed her quietly for a while and she smiled tentatively. He looked away abruptly, almost as if embarrassed. Padmé had the strange impression that she was seeing the young man, nervous in her apartment as she met him again for the first time in ten years.

It was a very welcome thought.

"How was your day?" She asked, getting up from the seat and coming to stand before him.

He shrugged, eyes darkening with doubt.

"Fine," he muttered. Her fingers reached his belt, detaching it slowly.

Anakin frowned, watching her hands when they removed the belt and then pulled at his black tunic. He was stiffening under her touch but she went on, putting away the black material and then his undershirt. The clothes fell on the floor soundly.

"You look tired," Padmé commented softly as she looked up.

Anakin was watching her quietly, obviously torn over something.

Still wary.

"A lot of cases required my attention," he said sternly. "I still have work to do." He sighed.

Padmé reflected that politics had never been his thing and he must be itching to go out there, on the field. In his crazy fantasy, he must have always pictured it this way. She holding the leashes of the galaxy on Coruscant and he carrying out her decisions. She, the brains and he, the hands of the Empire. Though she was aware he was a brilliant tactician as well. How ironic to think what a team they would have made.

She had no doubt Anakin still wanted this.

Her thoughts were stopped abruptly as Anakin's head bent closer to hers, and he kissed her tentatively. She stiffened at first, surprised at the move, remembering the last time she had felt this close to him and dreading what would come next. Anakin pressed her closer to him as he deepened the kiss. Timidly, she responded and before she knew it, her hands were travelling down his back as she kissed him passionately. He was so close and she started feeling fear. Fear of accepting him completely. Being his wife, completely, giving herself to him once again, would mean…

It would mean she accepted him and all he did.

She wasn't sure she was ready to do that.

But her body reacted to his touch, in spite of herself and she could feel her head spinning as his lips trailed on her throat and his hands started to pull away her robe…

Something was beeping.

She frowned but did not escape his arms.

Anakin was the one who broke their suddenly too feverish embrace. His flesh hand pulled out the small device from the folds of her robe and the beeping got louder.

She blushed. She remembered putting the item in her robe just before leaving C3PO. Her embarrassment at her obvious lack of restraint every time Anakin touched her turned into worry. It was the commlink connected to the twins' room. She activated it and heard C3PO's worried voice over the comm.

"Oh, Miss Padmé, I mean, Your Highness! Master Luke is crying and the thermal detector says he is feverish! Oh my, I do not know what to do!"

She exchanged a worried glance with Anakin and soon enough, they were departing his chambers to join the nursery.

* * *

It was nothing.

Padmé had to tell herself this but as she held her feverish son in her arms, she had trouble believing herself.

Anakin had been as worried as she and he had summoned the best healers and medical droids of Coruscant immediately.

The healers claimed it was nothing, just some cold that would pass in a few minutes. They had left after injecting a fluid to her baby.

A cold.

Padmé felt guilty. She had taken the twins with her into the garden outside and couldn't help but think she should have covered Luke more, that nothing would have happened if she had stayed inside the Palace.

But she had needed some fresh air desperately and thought it would be good for the children to face the world outside a little bit more…

Ironically, only Anakin managed to calm her about this.

"It's nothing, it's not your fault, Padmé…" he told her soothingly.

She felt her eyelids drop and strained to stay awake. Luke was very still in her arms now and Anakin had managed to calm Leia a little while earlier. The warm weight against her chest lifted and she opened panicked eyes. Her son was….

In his father's arms.

"Go to sleep," he told her gently.

Padmé shook her head. "No, I'm fine, I can stay-" she protested.

"Luke is fine…" Anakin said softly, pushing blond curls out of the little boy's forehead with his real hand.

Soon enough, the baby was back into his crib, sleeping peacefully. Padmé got up sleepily, claiming she could watch over her son, but before she knew it, Anakin had led to her bedroom and she was suddenly in her bed, her eyes closing as she drifted to sleep.

She woke up two hours later, rubbing her eyes and cursing herself for falling asleep. Wearily, she got to her feet. The door to the nursery was open and Anakin was sitting next to his son's crib, caressing the forehead of the baby.

She didn't dare enter the room and remained in the shadows. A whisper made its way to her ears as she stood silently in the corridor.

"I love you…" Anakin was saying softly. "I hope you'll always know I love you…"

Her heart skipped a beat and she walked back to her room soundlessly. Only when she was in her bed did she realize Anakin had not slept at all.

* * *

"I have to leave."

Anakin made the announcement, looking distraught as he strode into her bedroom.

Padmé swallowed, pulling a robe over her nightgown as she sat on her bed. Anakin moved to stand in front of her window.

"When?"

He stayed silent before whirling around, lips tightened into a thin line.

"Tomorrow. I have to oversee the construction of the battle station I talked to you about."

He paced slowly, arms crossed, visibly deep in thought. Anakin had told her of some projects or bills as time passed and he seemed to trust her more. But she knew he was telling her only what he wanted her to know and she suspected he never gave her any information that would shock her.

Or repulse her.

She stood up, stopped his pacing and put her hands on his arms quietly.

"I'll be here when you come back," she told him, peering into his eyes.

He sighed. No matter how much he tried, he was still an open book to her. She knew what was going on through his mind, the fear of her leaving edging on his face.

"I promise," she added when he didn't respond.

"I'll be gone for at least two weeks…"

Padmé took him into her arms wordlessly. She felt him sink into her embrace almost gratefully.

"I'm going to miss you." She murmured against the curls resting on the back of his neck.

He said nothing, only tightened his arms around her.

* * *

Padmé received a holo two days after Anakin's departure. He had left R2 with her this time and she wondered at such a change. The small droid came towards her in her bedroom, beeping soundly.

She frowned and asked him to play whatever message he had received.

Bail Organa's blue holo appeared and her mouth tightened. He shouldn't take such a risk.

"Padmé, I hope you'll be able to receive this message. I wish to contact you as soon as you can. This connection is secure so you don't have to worry. An old friend of ours stopped by. I really wish you could join us on Alderaan or if you can't, let me know and we will come to visit you."

He bid her goodbye, unable to hide his worry; and his image disappeared. Padmé stayed silent, wheels turning in her mind. Despite his assertion the connection was secure, Bail had tried to hide - at least a little - the fact that Obi-Wan was obviously on Alderaan. Her hear beat faster and she wondered about her next course of action.

And realized she had not really any choice.

"Erase the message, Artoo."

The droid beeped in confusion but she only repeated her order. Grimly, she watched R2 erase the recording.

If she responded to this, she knew Anakin would know about it, one way or another. And even if she managed to leave with Obi-Wan, she would never forgive herself for lying to Anakin and betraying him again. No. Her plan had changed.

She would be more useful if she stayed there.

As the days went by, Padmé discovered very interesting things in her husband's office. Getting access to his secret files had not been very difficult as Artoo helped her decrypt the datas. Fighting against her repulsion about all the various measures and the nominations of various governors, including Mas Amedda, she nevertheless copied most of the datas into her own databank and examined them hours long. While she would feed Luke and Leia with Naboo food or stroll around in the gardens with them, her mind would always come back to the strategy she had to adopt.

And everything was perfectly clear now.

* * *

"I want you to change this on the menu," Padmé Skywalker said sternly to one of the cooks.

Anakin had sent her a transmission two days ago, telling her he would come back a little bit late in three days and there would be a reception in the Palace for the new governors investitures. Padmé had insisted in preparing everything and her husband had looked surprised at her eagerness.

As the cooks rushed to prepare what the Emperor would taste first before preparing the menu for the reception the upcoming day, Padmé gracefully exited the huge kitchen to join the main hall, her cumbersome gown trailing after her. She still had time to bathe Luke and Leia before…

She stopped in her tracks as she noticed the Emperor's aides pressing around her suddenly, bowing low. Padmé's heart beat faster in spite of herself. If _they_ were here, it meant…

Anakin entered the hall swiftly, his hood covering his face and waving the aides away impatiently. She found herself smiling and rushed towards him, falling into his arms.

"I've missed you so much."

That was all he whispered in her ear as he returned her embrace.

* * *

Anakin's eyes were blue as he pulled down his hood and bent down to pick up Luke in his arms and Padmé sighed in relief. Leia giggled, crawling on the floor slowly towards her father. She was picked up likewise and found herself held close by her father.

Padmé couldn't help but think that it was further proof to her Anakin couldn't be irremediably lost. Children had an uncanny way to _feel_ evil.

Later, once she was sure the twins were sleeping and Artoo watched over them, she joined Anakin's chambers, only clad in a pale lavender nightgown, her free curls drifting on her shoulders. She shut the door behind her and called him slightly.

"Over here…" A muffled voice resonated from the adjacent holoconference room.

When she opened the door, Anakin was sitting behind his desk, reviewing some datapads. He was only clad in his sleeping pants, visibly just out of a shower and looking peaceful.

_Almost_ looking peaceful.

She sighed.

"Why don't you stop working?" she asked softly. Strange. He had been the one that kept harassing _her_ about that, _before_.

He looked up, frowning. She felt his gaze on her and flushed. His blue eyes travelled down her nightgown and he looked like he had forgotten about his work.

"You're so beautiful…" he whispered.

She bit her lip, reflecting she was only dressed in a simple nightgown, one of the few she had kept from her apartment in 500 Republica. He looked at her as if she was draped in the most costly tissues. But suddenly, his gaze darkened and he went back to his work swiftly.

"I have to end reviewing those reports. The battle station is becoming quite voluminous."

Padmé sighed. She hated this tone. It was the one he used to intimidate his officers, the one he used when he gave a speech on the Holonet, the one he took when he was angry with her.

The one he took almost all the time, she realized sadly.

The battle station… This project named 'Death Star' by Palpatine. She had read a lot about it when she went through the datapads found in Anakin's office and felt horrified by the very idea of building a battle station, ready to blast a whole planet in pieces. It revolted her but it didn't seem to shock Anakin.

She sat down in front of him and asked him seemingly innocent questions about the battle station. He looked at her dubiously at first and then, started to talk quietly, every now and then. She could see him growing tired of all this paperwork.

"You don't like this, do you?" She asked softly, pointing at the datapads lying on the transparent table.

Anakin sighed. "It's more your arena than mine."

Padmé found this too much of an opportunity to let it pass.

"Do you want me to help?"

Her husband stiffened visibly, his eyes piercing her silently for a while. She stood his gaze and soon, he was the one looking away.

"Later, maybe."

And before she could add anything, he told her to wait for him in the bedroom. Padmé sighed, joining the slightly lightened room and sitting on the bed soundlessly. She was frustrated he still thought he could order her around but relieved there was an opening in the near future. Soon enough, Anakin exited the conference room and eyed her quietly.

"I know."

That was all he said and she found herself stiffen under his piercing gaze. She found comfort in the fact he didn't look or sound angry.

For now.

"Know what?" She said calmly, glad of her years of political training.

Anakin came closer and stopped before her. Padmé looked up and tried to decipher him, frowning.

"I know Organa sent a message to you."

She froze.

His golden hand, shining in the darkness came to cradle her cheek. She shivered at the cold contact. Somehow, she had wondered why he had never got it replaced as new natural hands were now available to him. Even cloning his arm was easy now he was an Emperor. But somehow, Anakin had kept this hand, just like he had kept the Jedi temple.

And she wondered sometimes.

"I'm scared to death of you leaving." He murmured suddenly, unable to look at her in the eye, his mechanical hand still tracing her skin.

"Then you know I didn't respond to him." He didn't reply, the golden fingers only smothering curls away from her shoulder. "Even though his call was perfectly innocent," she added calmly. "He only wanted to talk."

Anakin's eyes bore into hers this time. He only nodded quietly.

"You look _really_ tired," Padmé said softly, tugging at his hand.

The deep rings under his eyes betrayed him. She knew he didn't sleep. She was starting to believe he _never_ slept. And in spite of herself, she was worried.

He looked at her in confusion as she still tugged at his hand.

"Come here," she said softly, motioning for him to sit down on the floor in front of her. "You need to relax a little." He frowned but did as she told. She could feel himself stiffen at the idea of letting himself be vulnerable even a second. He was now always a warrior, trusting no one. When he sat down below, his back turned to her, her fingers worked on his shoulders first. He was so tense; she had never felt him this way before.

But as she continued massaging him softly, the muscles relaxed beneath her touch. She rubbed his skin softly but soon enough, he stopped her, caressing her hands and leaning into her embrace. Silently, she stroked his hair, brushing the top of his head with a kiss. He didn't say anything, only leaned closer to her. Suddenly, though she hadn't moved, she was on the floor behind him, leaning against the bed.

He didn't need to say the words. Padmé understood, and she cradled him into her embrace, her arms and legs wrapping around him. He turned sideways and pressed his cheek against her chest as she stroked his still damp hair.

Anakin's breathing got slower against her skin, as her fingers caressed his face, her eyes lost in the distance.

It was only when he fell asleep she felt the unmistakable sensation of tears against the crook of her arm.


	19. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

_"Anakin…"_

_The whisper got louder in his ear._

_"Anakin!"_

_This time she sounded terrified._

_He opened his eyes in the darkness, reaching out hands that couldn't touch anything._

_"Padmé!"_

_A strangled cry._

_He felt a shiver down his spine._

_He yelled her name this time._

_"Help me! Please, Anakin, help me!"_

_He fought against the darkness to find her, against the shadows slowing him down and reached the light at last._

_It was too late._

_She lay on the ground, pale, her brown eyes open. Lifeless._

_He screamed but no sound would escape his mouth._

_He screamed but no one heard._

_Padmé still stared at him with empty eyes that could no longer see._

Hands reached out blindly in the darkness. Anakin Skywalker sat up, the sound of his ragging breathing resonating in the dark room. He blinked, wincing as he felt the hard floor beneath him.

His eyes darted around, recognizing the familiar environment.

A nightmare.

_Just_ a nightmare.

And yet he couldn't fight the cold feeling in his stomach. His mind found a thousand reasons why this nightmare just couldn't come true. Padmé was safe, she was right _here_ in the Palace. Nothing could happen to her. And he had defied his nightmares before. Padmé was still alive, right?

He was stronger than the Force. He had saved her already.

But his heart found a thousand reasons to fear. He was still trembling in the darkness, the vision of Padmé's empty eyes shaking him to the core.

A sigh next to him.

Something soft against the back of his hand.

He started, looking down.

Padmé lay next to him on the floor, frowning in her sleep.

He had completely forgotten about falling asleep in her arms. She had fallen asleep there, next to him. His heart tightened in his chest. One shaky hand found her hair and caressed it quietly as she breathed.

Breathed.

She was alive. She was safe.

He watched her silently for a long while. Then he got up, taking her into his arms as gently as he could. When he departed the room quietly, she was still sleeping soundly in his bed.

* * *

The reception was shaping up as the day went by. Padmé was annoyed; the long hours spent preparing something she loathed beginning to take their toll on her. Nonetheless she kept a polite smile on her face the whole day, giving instructions and rushing to modify this or that detail. Her handmaidens had to drag her out of the kitchen to prepare her for the evening.

She sat still as Dormé and Ellé put beautiful silver bands in her hair. She hated this… hated having to dress up for this reception… this pretense. She still remembered the horrid details Bail had given her. She thought of the innocents sacrificed to give her this beautiful jewellery or this indecent gown. When the thoughts became unbearable, she had to remind herself what she was doing now was to help those people. But it was sickening to her and she had a feeling the upcoming reception would be hard. Chasing the thoughts away, Padmé swallowed against the sick feeling and held her head high.

She had to be strong.

When she came downstairs, all the guests were already there, several protocol droids serving the Senators and governors assembled in the ballroom. She took a deep breath, put on her political face and went down the remaining steps.

It was easier than she had thought. Sliding into the persona was so effortless. She didn't feel anything for those people, rushing to greet her, almost stumbling over themselves in their desire to please her.

"Governor Amedda," she greeted brightly, even when her insides froze in disgust at the sight of him.

Of course he did his best to appear as happy to see her as she was. He couldn't fool her though. He simply didn't know how to act. She was the one who directed the conversation, easily becoming the centre of attention as the others hovered around her, as drawn to her position of power as her natural ability to hold a crowd.

And then Anakin arrived.

Everyone froze, conversations stopping abruptly as the Emperor stepped inside, his dark cloak billowing behind him. All the guests bowed in mute respect as he made his way inside the ballroom.

She didn't.

A small smile made its way on his face and his eyes shone strangely as he saw her. Not even bothering with the people bowing before him as he walked, he reached her and took her hand silently. Together they led everyone to the dinner room.

The chatter began again as they passed through the double doors.

"You're beautiful…" He whispered, not looking at her.

She smiled but said nothing.

Her smile was all he needed anyway.

* * *

"I do believe this law is useful. Jedi have wrecked this galaxy for too long."

A murmur of agreement went through the dinner room after Mas Amedda's speech as Padmé sipped her glass of Corellian brandy. Anakin was stiff on her right.

"I have heard the law could be modified to change the article concerning the Force sensitive adolescents," a Senator mused a little bit further away.

She could feel Anakin losing patience.

"What do you think about these possible modifications, Your Highness?" A young human Senator asked next to her.

Padmé took some time before realizing this woman was asking _her_ what she thought of this.

"I do not think this is the place or time to discuss the new legislation," Anakin replied curtly next to her.

Putting her most fake smile on her face, Padmé rested her hand on his slightly.

"Oh no, dear, this is all right."

Anakin looked at her in surprise though he hid it well.

Turning towards her assembly, she smiled.

"Jedi need to be stopped. And if to ensure this we must take severe measures, then I am more than willing to take them. We live in dangerous times and must be strong for the sake of our future."

People clapped at once.

The Empress beamed.

* * *

Padmé Skywalker wiped the tears away from her eyes roughly, discarding her gown with difficulty. Dormé had insisted on staying with her but she had roughly sent her away, taking refuge in the solitude of her room.

She thought it would be easier, that once she put the distance between the persona and herself, she wouldn't feel disgusted with herself. She was so wrong. She never expected the reception would make her sick to this extent. All these fake smiles, hurting her face, all these populist speeches she gave over and over again, almost eclipsing her own husband's, people clapping and agreeing with her when all she said were horrors and despicable things.

But after all, she _was_ reigning, wasn't she? She had as much responsibility for all this as Anakin.

Clutching her chest, she slid on the floor and struggled to breathe.

This was nothing. She had to be strong, even though she was disgusted by those Senators and governors morals, even though she was so disappointed in people. The latest surveys more than confirmed her and Anakin's popularity.

After all, who was she to fight against popularity?

No one saw what was wrong with those atrocious laws.

Who was she to fight against what people wanted?

_Democracy is about giving what people what they need, not what they want._

In this place, at this time, it was really hard to believe this.

She inhaled roughly, her hands pressing on her chest to calm herself.

"What's wrong?"

She opened her eyes abruptly, shocked to realize she had not heard Anakin come into her room. In two quick steps he was at her side beside the bed, kneeling next to her instantly, pushing her hands away from her chest, reaching out to-

She froze, pushed at his hands.

"I'm fine…" she stuttered.

He looked at her silently for awhile before biting his lip and making a move to get up and leave her.

Padmé sighed in relief. It was all she wanted. No questions, no accusations, just being alone…

But at the last moment, he changed his mind and knelt back at her side. She was about to protest when he wordlessly wrapped his arms around her. She was shocked by the sudden contact, stayed stiff in his arms.

"I know what you did tonight," he whispered on top of her hair.

Padmé didn't say anything, only released the tears on her cheeks and revelled in the feeling of his arms around her, holding her safe.

Anakin stayed with her all night long, barely talking. His presence was enough anyway. She wrapped herself around him and breathed in him.

It was all she needed to be strong.

* * *

"See? Luke can stand now!"

Padmé beamed at Dormé, as she sat on the grass, holding her apprehensive son with her hands. He was far from walking yet and Leia was much closer to it, but Luke was already trying to stand alone. The boy reeled, and fell but she was there to catch him. He started to cry and of course, Leia joined in gustily. Their mother brushed Luke's blond hair with a kiss and soothed him. She tried to distract him with food.

"Take this, Lukie, eat up…"

The boy was difficult for once and Padmé sighed. Usually, only Leia gave her a hard time but apparently her son was having a bad day. He was squirming in her arms, refusing the food. Leia seemed to be distraught as well. Padmé understood everything as soon as her daughter was picked up by strong hands.

Anakin was back very early. The sun was still shining and… he never came to the gardens usually. The little girl cried harder even when Anakin kissed her nose in greeting. He frowned but didn't let go of his daughter. Padmé could barely hear the fountain beside them with the cries of their children. Anakin must be in a bad mood and she didn't like it.

Casting a glare at Dormé who trembled in fright before leaving them alone, Anakin sat down beside his wife on the small blanket. Padmé went on feeding Luke, not quite knowing what to do with Anakin back so early.

And yet he seemingly calmed down as he took his turn feeding the small girl in his arms. As usual, Anakin was doing miracles with Leia. Padmé almost felt jealous he could soothe their daughter so easily. They stayed in a comfortable silence for some time, the twins quieting along with their father.

Anakin looked more peaceful as she stole a glance at him. She found herself staring at him a little bit too long. His eyes caught hers instantly.

She froze.

He only smiled gently. Her heart wouldn't stop hammering in her chest.

She sighed, exasperated with herself, yet relieved a glance from him could still make her feel this way.

* * *

"We _must_ do something!

The middle-aged man sighed, settling a little bit more comfortingly in his cosy chair. The other man was pacing, visibly deep in thought after his peculiar outburst.

"Master Kenobi…"

The Jedi stopped his pacing, eyes narrowed and a hand still caressing his beard.

"Senator, it is our duty to-"

Bail Organa sighed again. "May I remind you that I am no longer a Senator? No longer Viceroy of this planet?" He gestured around in the office of his home. "There is nothing we can do now. I only hope for the best in the near future. We need to be patient."

"Padmé couldn't come here. She must be spied on all the time."

"Possibly", the former Senator agreed. "But she seemed quite at ease at this reception the other day. Reporters still haven't stopped raving about her newfound philosophy of life…" He stopped, visibly distressed with the news.

"Padmé Amidala is one of the very few politicians I trust." Obi-Wan replied shortly. "I do not think she is corrupted by power. I believe she is doing this because she has no other choice."

Bail looked dubious.

"I almost wonder if this so called escape was not a devised plan."

Obi-Wan's blue eyes widened in surprise.

"You do not believe she made you go through all of this on purpose? Didn't you say she may have saved your life?"

Bail sighed and got up from his chair.

"I have a lot of time on my hands unfortunately and I cannot help but think about all of this. I don't know who to trust anymore in these dark times…"

The Jedi didn't seem to hear the words though. He was frowning, stroking his beard hypnotically.

"I have to talk to her."

Bail shook his head. "The Empress is even more protected than the Emperor himself. You would never get past the security."

Obi-Wan smiled mysteriously.

"We Jedi still have some tricks left."

Bail looked worried suddenly. "You must wait, Master Kenobi. If you helped us for the Alliance, we would have a great chance to fight against the Empire."

The Jedi only shook his head impatiently.

"The more we wait the harder things will be. And now I know there are two children instead of one…" He trailed off, obviously musing over something. "Vader must not be allowed to have time to train them as Sith. Let me try to talk to Padmé first."

The Jedi's hair was suddenly illuminated by sunlight as he crossed his arms and came closer to the window.

"Those children are the key."


	20. Chapter 16

A heartfelt thank you to everyone who took the time to stop by and leave a comment... I'm really flattered by the great reviews everyone is leaving out there, esp the ones where people say they read everything in one sitting. I'm really touched.

THANK YOU EVERYONE.

Hope you enjoy this chapter. :)

* * *

**Chapter 16**

Small faces scrunched up in happiness and everyone applauded around her.

Smiling brightly, Padmé Skywalker declared the new hospital for the children of Coruscant open. Drums resonated suddenly, covering her voice and she grinned. When parents from all different species rushed to thank her, telling her that for once, there was no discrimination between species in terms of healing, she fought against the tears.

The simple act gave her more satisfaction than she would have ever thought possible.

This had never been a priority to Palpatine. Nor did it seem one for Anakin. He was more concentrated on the military aspect of his Empire. He had agreed with her about this project immediately but she realized that had she not stepped in, it would have been yet another project falling into oblivion.

This was a first step towards a better world.

The first time she came back to the Senate, it had felt so strange. She had felt almost ashamed of going back there, noticing some glares from fellow Senators even though they did their best to hide them.

But what needed to be done was more important than her bruised ego.

Numerous claims came to her now, as Anakin trusted her more and more to take care of certain practical matters. She had a feeling he was relieved to be able to count on someone now. Now she could finally make a difference.

Padmé threw another useless datapad over the desk and selected an interesting one.

Here. A claim for a refugee project on Corellia.

This was useful. But she doubted Anakin would let her go there. And besides, he was leaving her some duties to perform here. None of them involved legislation. She still did not have authorization to enact laws.

There was also this bill she was thinking about. She wanted to begin slowly and the clone army was a good start.

Padmé frowned, biting her lip.

That needed to change soon.

* * *

The Empress rubbed her eyes tiredly and tried to concentrate on the new Act she was preparing, hoping against hopes that her husband would agree to it. Reducing the credits for the Clone army was not the biggest advance she could make but this was exactly what she needed to continue on the direction she had chosen.

A slight sound barely distracted her from her work, as she frowned and entered another line into the Act, trying to conceal as much as she could from Anakin's wary eyes…

"Hello, Padmé."

The Coruscanti accent shook her to the core and she looked up shakily, her heart skipping a beat.

The Jedi was standing a few meters away, always so calm. He took off his hood and looked around them.

"Or should I say Empress Vader? Isn't that how they call you now?"

She swallowed, glimpsing a flicker of annoyance in the blue eyes.

Putting the datapad she was holding on her desk, she folded her hands calmly and gave him her most solemn expression.

"What are you doing here, Master Kenobi?"

Strange how this situation was so different from the last time she saw him, and exactly the same one. Obi-Wan looked older, grey tampering his temples a little bit more, his eyes reflecting the inner pain.

She briefly wondered if she looked different from the heartbroken woman the Jedi had approached so long ago.

"I hoped I could convince you," he said as calmly.

She fought the urge to sigh in annoyance. Didn't he understand? Or was he doing this on purpose, to anger her?

Didn't he know she had thought over the possibilities over and over again?

Or did he think she was a damsel in distress, waiting for the brave Jedi to rescue her?

"If you think you can convince me to follow you, you are deeply mistaken," she said coldly. "You already tried this, didn't you?"

Obi-Wan smiled. It was a very aggravating smile..

"I _heard_ you needed my help at some point," he said evasively.

Padmé narrowed her eyes. "That _person_ should have told you I don't need your help any longer."

Obi-Wan studied her silently for a moment. Then he stepped right up to her desk, still with that look on his face.

His gaze was unsettling. She looked felt…

She didn't want to think about it.

"Leave, Master Kenobi. You should have known you were not welcome here," she said softly, finding the courage to look into his eyes again.

"Padmé…" He sighed. "I know you are afraid…"

Her lips tightened into a thin line. Who was he to tell her how she felt?

"I am not afraid, Master _Jedi_. Now I want you to leave-"

The Jedi's face became suddenly menacing. Padmé finally understood that she may not be the woman she was when she last saw him, but he too was not the man she had encountered either.

"I will make it clear, Padmé. I cannot stay in the sidelines while a Sith is in control of the galaxy. I will do what I can to stop him with or without your help."

"My help?" She repeated incredulously. "What do you want me to do? Kill Anakin in his sleep so you can forget about the Jedi killed to ensure this Empire?"

He looked annoyed but did his best to hide it.

"No," he said firmly. "I was thinking of your children."

Padmé froze.

"What about them?" She whispered.

"They need to be taken out of here. If you wish to stay, this is your choice but they need to be protected!"

She was out of her seat and standing regally before she realized what she was doing.

"Get out of here."

The Jedi didn't relent.

"Do you want your children to become Sith? Do you want them to become murderers like Vader?!"

The vision of a red lightsaber given to Luke or Leia was too horrible to consider. The vision of Anakin slaying people without remorse wasn't any better. And the Jedi's words were unbearable. She needed him away from here. No, she needed to kick him out of her office.

Abandoning her children?

To _him_ or Yoda? So he could turn them into Jedi, into enemies of their own father?

So they could be in danger all the time, fleeing the Empire?

So she would torture herself over her betrayal and Anakin's deeper fall into the darkness?

The Jedi didn't know anything about Anakin. Or her or them, or what needed to be done.

"You should leave and never come back to Coruscant, Master Jedi", she said coldly. "Before I inform my husband of your presence."

The threat was serious and he knew it. She saw disbelief edge on his face. And then disappointment. Padmé felt a temporary pang but it was overwhelmed by the force of her disgust.

"I see." He replied as coldly. "I may have been mistaken about you, _Padmé_. I will not make that mistake again."

She didn't say anything, watched him leave, his cloak disappearing quickly.

When the door clicked shut silently, the Empress dropped into her seat numbly. Liquid was starting to blur her vision. Almost from a distance, she watched her hands take the datapad again.

Minutes later, numbness had gained her completely and she could only see numbers and lines as she concentrated on the Act again.

* * *

"Where is the Empress?"

"She is working in her office, Your Highness."

Anakin Skywalker sighed and didn't reply. His aide inclined his head and returned to the speech transcript. The Emperor tried to concentrate on the debate before him but failed miserably.

Padmé was spending her time in her office now. Always bent over a new project she was working on. He was tempted to accept anything she proposed so she would leave her desk a little bit more.

She didn't smile anymore.

If he was honest with himself, he would realize she hadn't smiled in a long time now. He would get glimpses of a curved mouth when she played with the twins. But she didn't really smile at _him_.

And he hadn't heard her laugh since… He couldn't remember.

Work. Always work. He rolled his eyes, getting more and more bored as the minutes ticked by and the illusionary debate still took place. Padmé only talked about this or that project. He felt like he was coming back to their early marriage, when all she could think about was the Senate. He remembered an argument about that once, when he was fed up with the fact that she wasn't making as many efforts as he did to see each other…

She had never mentioned work again after that. Work didn't seem to exist when she was with him. It was this kind of details that told him, that _maybe_, she loved him as much as he loved her.

His mind started to wander in dangerous places. Memories of sneaking away from the Temple and sliding into her bed at late hours. Of her dazzling smile and how she all but ripped him off his clothes. Of how she felt in his arms, the scent of her hair…

Her skin.

Something flickered in his consciousness, something _familiar_ but he ignored it focused as he was on Padmé, the bittersweet memories hurting more than he would have thought.

The pain was nothing next to picturing _her_ in his reverie.

In his mind, they laughed as she put his hands on her swollen belly. Her eyes twinkling as they discussed the names of their children.

_Twins_…

How could he have been so blind?

There had been two of them, _of course_.

He felt a smile on his face as the picture in his mind morphed to include the two bundles of perfection that had been placed in his arms after their birth. Comforting his daughter in the middle of the night, admiring the way Luke slept, always so calmly, without a care in the universe…

Padmé waking up after those horrible months. A life with her _at last_ and the utter relief of knowing she would be fine now…

The musical sound of Padmé's laughter came to his ears and suddenly he was back on Naboo, lying on the grass and her on top of him and suddenly so close and his heart beating too loud in his chest…

"Your Highness?"

It took seconds for Vader to snap out of his reverie and focus on the question from his aide.

But the pain in his chest remained.

* * *

Padmé wasn't home.

The thought left him uncomfortable. Though he knew she was still at the Senate. So she was _safe_, wasn't she? He had been unable to stay there and wait for her. A strange sense of urgency had taken him back home.

It was quite late, the whole aisle of his private quarters plunged into darkness, as he went through the corridors quietly.

His heart stopped beating and he halted abruptly, leaning against the wall heavily.

And he understood everything in a split second.

He reached out with the Force and knew exactly where to find this familiar feeling. It took him seconds to reach Padmé's quarters. He stopped in front of the twins' room and barely took in the sight of Dormé's unconscious body on the floor and 3PO's eyes staring into nothingness.

He entered the room and spotted what he expected to see.

Rage blinded him completely and he wondered briefly if Padmé was part of the plan somehow, if she was somewhere waiting for the Jedi to give her their children. Before fleeing.

But this was irrelevant now. For the Jedi holding _his_ son in his arms would soon know what pain meant. Instinctively, his lightsaber was in his gloved hand and he felt the actual pleasure of being the one who would get revenge.

Obi-Wan Kenobi would never draw a breath again.


	21. Chapter 17 a

Hello, folks! Here's the new chapter, it's divided into three parts. I'll do my best to post all three quickly. As usual, thanks for the lovely reviews! :)

* * *

**Chapter 17 a/**

The sight of Obi-Wan standing in front of him would have stirred up feelings of sympathy or regret in him in other circumstances.

But now, as Vader watched his former Master slowly turn around with his son in his arms, he could only feel hatred.

And smugness.

He would show Obi-Wan the power of the dark side and the Jedi would have no choice but admit his superiority.

He would get his revenge.

At last.

Something in him murmured there was nothing to get revenge from for hadn't he killed so many Jedi already?

But he barely paid attention to that raspy whisper inside his mind.

No.

What mattered now was that this Jedi was willing to take his son away from him.

And that would be the last mistake he would ever make.

"Anakin."

The name startled him.

Obi-Wan was still holding a squirming Luke in his arms but made no more moves, standing always so calmly and looking at him with what seemed to be...

Pity.

Facing Obi-Wan was more difficult than what he thought somehow. For the last time they had seen each other, they had still been on the same side. Friends. Brothers.

Now Vader looked at this man and he only saw an enemy.

He only saw someone endangering his family.

And Lord Vader decided he had let Obi-Wan Kenobi breathe for too long already.

"Let go of my son." He said coldly, the lightsaber in his grip showing his real intent.

The Jedi threw a heavy glance to his lightsaber before sighing deeply and putting Luke back into his crib. The baby's cries barely reached his ears as Vader's blade came to life. Obi-Wan had known about it, of course for his own blade crossed his almost immediately.

Blue against blue still. He had never felt the need to build another lightsaber.

He didn't care about traditions – Jedi or Sith.

As if in silent agreement the two men moved away from the children's bedroom, thrusts and parries slow and measured.

Vader's rage was controlled, cold. He was focused on his adversary. The end would come when he decided it. Kenobi had to see who the strongest of them was.

But as he increased the pace, leading the Jedi into the corridors, barely noticing the horrified cries from employees as they went on, he became bored quickly.

The Jedi had trouble keeping up with his thrusts. Their blades came to a halt as they reached the top of the stairs.

"You shouldn't have come back, Obi-Wan. You shouldn't have dared try to take my family away from me!" He spat, feeling rage coming back progressively.

Obi-Wan's glare was hard and unforgiving.

"Your reign will come to an end sooner or later, Anakin. The Force cannot be left in darkness for too long, you should know that. "

Vader fought the urge to snort. Who did he think he was?

"Stop lecturing me..." He said coldly.

Obi-Wan smiled. Infuriated, Vader pushed with the Force. Caught off-guard, the Jedi stumbled down the steps, his lightsaber clattering loudly as it rolled down.

Vader stood over him, triumphant.

The Jedi rose painfully and amused laughter slipped past his lips.

"Your powers are weak..." He commented, gracefully walking down the steps. "Or more probably the power of the dark side is too strong for you."

Some employees stood in one corner, coiling in fear as they caught sight of the Jedi taking his lightsaber again with the Force.

"Your Highness..." some of his aides, pale with fear in another corner of the enormous entrance, said shakily. "I'm calling the Special-"

Vader cut him off with a flick of his wrist. The aide gasped for air before stumbling away shakily as he allowed him air again.

"Leave him to me."

With a wave of his hand, he ordered all his employees away.

Obi-Wan watched silently, tightening his grip on his lightsaber.

"You will die tonight, Obi-Wan." Vader said calmly, studying the weapon in his Master's hand. A Jedi weapon. "My son should never encounter your kind in his life. Never. I am tired of you trying to take my family away from me."

Something flickered in Obi-Wan's eyes.

Smugness.

"I only had an interesting conversation with Padmé..." His tone was elusive enough to infuriate the young Sith further.

_Did Padmé agree to this?_

"If you did something to Padmé..." Vader threatened, doubt gnawing at him in spite of himself. The thought was too horrible to consider.

Had Padmé contacted the Jedi without him knowing it? Was she the one enabling him to come to their home?

"Padmé hates what you have become." Kenobi said again, going through Vader's cloud of thoughts.

Was it why she had stayed so late in the Senate?

Why she had suddenly decided to love him again?

She was plotting behind his back...

_The traitorous-_

"She did what she had to do to stop you from-"

The Jedi couldn't complete his sentence for Vader launched at him angrily. Rage and pain were spurring him on and he unleashed the dark side within him. Obi-Wan was overwhelmed by his power, he noticed vaguely as he watched the Jedi stumbling back as he increased the pace and his sword thrust at him repeatedly.

He barely noticed they were outside in the gardens now, the darkness enveloping them as their blades hit repeatedly, blue energy shining through the night.

Vader would win this battle, there was no doubt about it.

He was so powerful. No one came close to him.

No one.

But the Jedi managed to surprise him somehow.

When he thought he had total control of the fight, a blue blade suddenly came too close to him for his taste. It only fuelled his rage. But instead of gaining control, he became rasher and the Jedi began to take control. Too much, too quickly.

He almost stumbled on his knees as a vicious thrust surprised him and cut through his uniform. Pain erupted in his shoulders and chest, rapidly growing as the Jedi's blade burned through his cloak and their thrusts grew more feverish.

The pain only increased his impatience.

Vader decided Obi-Wan's time to die had come and parried Obi-Wan's thrust, sending him flying backwards with the Force. Kenobi stumbled and hit the ground but was still resourceful, even though he was growing exhausted. The thrusts became weaker as Vader's assaults became harsher.

Just as _he_ had taught him.

Thrust. Parry.

Opening.

Vader launched at Kenobi's wrist precisely.

There was no small satisfaction in watching the Jedi's lightsaber die down as the hand around it flew away. Obi-Wan only gasped slightly, falling on his knees in obvious pain.

Now he knew what it felt like.

But it was not enough. Killing Obi-Wan now was too easy.

Vader's glove put the lightsaber back at his hip and his flesh hand reached out towards the fallen Jedi.

When the lightning flew past his fingers, he only felt a smile on his lips at Obi-Wan's cries of pain.

* * *

When Padmé Skywalker entered the deserted hall with some of her silent handmaidens, she instinctively knew something was wrong.

She didn't listen to Motée's worried questions, she only flew towards the stairs and reached her children's bedroom. She barely paid attention to 3PO's babbling, or Dormé's dishevelled hair, she only rushed towards the cribs.

Breath came back to her lungs.

Leia and Luke were crying in their beds but they were safe.

She held onto the sides of the beds, suddenly realizing that the sick feeling in her stomach was still there.

"What happened?" She asked to Dormé who looked concerned.

"A Jedi... Obi-Wan Kenobi." She said shakily. "He came here…" She trailed off. "I don't remember anything..." she stammered.

Padmé's heart slammed into her ribcage.

_Obi-Wan, here? _

She couldn't breathe still. She stayed there, by their side, unable to move. As she reached out to them, she realized she needed to feel them in her arms, she had to know they were alright. As Leia's small form rested against her chest, the little girl crying and seemingly upset, Padmé breathed in relief. She caressed Luke's head soothingly even as his cries came louder. Her small babies were safe, with her, they were safe…

No coherent thought seemed to come to her. Only when her heartbeat came back to normal did she realize that the feeling of dread had still not disappeared.

She understood at last.

"Where's Anakin?" She asked shakily.

Dormé had sagged down on the nearest chair without her noticing it and still looked dishevelled.

"I heard he and His Highness fought some time ago. I do not know what happened…"

Padmé couldn't move from the floor beside her babies, she just couldn't leave them here. Not after what had just happened…

But Anakin, what if, what if…

She reached out with her mind, to _him_ in panic.

She met something dark and hard and struggled to breathe. The darkness was overwhelming in its intensity. It literally choked her. Anakin's mind connected with her briefly and she tasted a slight sense of betrayal. And then it slammed down on her so powerfully she gasped.

The babies cried harder.

But she still had gotten glimpses of what was happening.

Images. Distorted but still visible.

Anakin was killing Obi-Wan.

And she had no desire to stop him.


	22. Chapter 17 b

**Chapter 17 b/**

There was something oddly soothing in the act. As Vader sent more Force-lightning and he heard Obi-Wan's cries, it almost felt like it was attenuating his own pain.

And then he felt _her_.

Her panic came to him in waves.

The dark side around him recoiled. Obi-Wan's cries of pain suddenly became more insistent.

He stopped. Smoke rose in the air as the Jedi squirmed on the floor in pain. Vader fought the urge to laugh, the sweet taste of power and victory blinding him.

But Padmé's presence still lingered around him.

He pushed it away roughly. He would talk to her soon enough.

_Know what she had plotted against him. Or if she had been really scared about their children_.

Vader looked down and suddenly realized Obi-Wan was looking at him, coughing as the last electric shocks coursed through his weak body.

"You are lost, Anakin…" He whispered.

There was almost a touch of pain in his voice.

Vader didn't want to think of it.

And he hated seeing this pity in those eyes. Those eyes that were only resentful and cold usually…

He looked at the Jedi at his feet and felt deep hatred flow from within. Now it was enough. Kenobi would die and there would be no longer any threat against his family.

The dark side twirled around him, as if enveloping him in a tender embrace. Kenobi looked so pitiful, so small, _defeated_.

He took his blade slowly and decided he would grant him the last honor to die at his hand. As a Jedi. What an irony that a Jedi blade would cut him down. Like so many Jedi before him…

Vader smirked coldly.

No more threats.

No more accusing glances.

Freedom.

At last.

"Do it, Anakin…" Obi-Wan whispered, looking at him calmly.

He hated this calm that seemed to seep out of his veins. It only infuriated him further.

"I already lost my Padawan…"

Somewhere deep inside of him, a small, tiny murmur said something. Vader didn't want to hear it. And didn't particularly care.

And then, as he ignited his lightsaber slowly, something flickered in Obi-Wan's eyes.

Smugness.

"You will lose, Anakin. Sooner or later, you will lose. You may kill me now. But you will never win."

And he smiled.

He looked proud of dying. Unlike all those stupid Jedi who had pleaded for their lives.

It almost looked like… he was doing Kenobi a favour by killing him. His grip on his lightsaber's hilt tightened. And suddenly he didn't want to do what was expected of him.

So Obi-Wan thought he owned him…

Suddenly Vader decided that this could be useful. And that if Obi-Wan was killed by his hand now, he wouldn't suffer enough. He deserved so much more than that.

His lightsaber came back to his hip slowly. Obi-Wan's eyes flickered with uncertainty.

And fear.

It felt so good Vader could have laughed.

"You will not die…" The Sith said slowly. "Not now."

Obi-Wan paled as he struggled to sit up. To no avail. Vader had made sure the torture would leave an imprint on his former Master.

"You will be given a trial. Of course you will be sentenced to death." Vader added as an afterthought. "And I will make sure you suffer the worst tortures before that."

Obi-Wan's eyes flickered with anger this time. Vader felt content. Yes. Obi-Wan Kenobi wouldn't die with any honors. He would die as a common criminal, vilified by the people, with the laughter of the cruelest citizens as a background. And he wouldn't have to kill the old Jedi himself.

He wouldn't grant him _that_.

And there was something else too… He would finally show to the world one did not threaten him without paying the consequences. The great _Negotiator_ would be humiliated before suffering a horrible death for everyone to see.

_Broadcasted on the Holonet_.

He kept a smile on his face as he watched his men take Obi-Wan's exhausted form away from him.

The smile only disappeared when he entered the Palace.

He suddenly felt very exhausted.

The pain came back. He tamped down on the ache roughly.

Now was not the time…

* * *

Padmé's eyes were lost in the distance as she sat on the floor. Dormé had stood up a little while ago, leaving her to her own horrible thoughts. She heard murmurs in the room next to hers, heard C3PO's frantic words. Her hands were tracing her children's faces hypnotically, reassuring her of their presence.

But her mind was elsewhere as the twins quieted down slightly.

Was Obi-Wan dead now?

Or was there a piece of Anakin still lingering there, preventing him from killing his former Master?

She sighed ruefully. She wasn't even sure she wanted Obi-Wan alive and that thought scared her. Somehow she knew she could still have some influence on Anakin but she didn't want to use it.

Obi-Wan disgusted her now.

She was scared. Scared for Leia and Luke. And that overruled everything else.

But even so…

She hated herself for her complacence.

Because by staying here, she was fully aware she was supporting Anakin's killing.

Deep steps resonated in the corridor and she froze.

Anakin entered the room, not sparing her a glance and looking at the twins immediately. Reassured they were still there, his gaze settled on her at last.

She shuddered. The yellow eyes seemed to pierce through her soul and she felt coldness wrap around her so tightly she couldn't breathe.

"You knew…" he whispered icily.

It hurt to think Anakin would suspect her of this.

"How can you believe that?" She asked incredulously. "I was scared to death! I still am-" She couldn't finish, her throat suddenly too dry and too constricted.

Her whole body was still shaking with tremors over the thought that somehow here in the Palace her children were not any safer than the Force sensitive children out there.

"He came to you." Anakin growled, pacing in the room. "He spoke to you! And you didn't come back until it was late, did you? You knew!"

Padmé didn't respond. He stopped his pacing and looked at her menacingly.

"I thought I had earned your trust." She said calmly, not flinching away from his gaze.

"You already betrayed me…" He said slowly. The color in his eyes made a shiver run down her spine.

"You know I was scared tonight… You know-"

"I don't know anything anymore!" Anakin cried out, surprising her. He came closer and her heart stopped when he looked down at her, as if wanting to-

Padmé gasped, felt the cold feeling of his mind twirling around hers, knowing her thoughts were ripped apart. Flashes came to her, blurry and fuzzy, _cries of pain echoing in her skull and Force lightning erupting from her fingertips and this sweet taste of power… _

The sensation stopped roughly, her mind becoming her own once again and she opened her eyes to see Anakin swaying and gripping his hands on the twins' beds roughly as he grumbled under his breath.

His jaw clenched and when he looked down at her again, she felt the anger seep from him.

"We're not finished," he said shortly before running away from the room.

Padmé frowned and stood up weakly.

What happened next was a blur.

She barely remembered calling for Dormé and 3PO and guards rushing to protect the twins' room. She did not remember how she got downstairs, but she remembered looking into the hall, watching Anakin where he stood in a black rage. She remembered the sound of glass shattering. And the dead bodies of the clonetroopers…

She remembered…

Anakin's head flew up, his eyes piercing her even in the distance.

"No one must know a Jedi came here, have you understood?" He growled to his aides who ran away in fear, nodding hastily.

_Came…?_

And Padmé understood at last.

Obi-Wan had fled.


	23. Chapter 17 c

**Chapter 17 c/**

In a split second, Anakin was at Padmé's side – she still didn't know how he had joined her so quickly- gripping her arm so tightly she was sure she would have bruises the day after, and leading her to his quarters. She didn't protest, knew it was useless in the state he was in.

The door closed behind them with a muted sound.

Yellow covered her vision as furious eyes settled on her.

"Is it you? Was it planned? Your escape? His?"

Padmé sighed, suddenly feeling very exhausted.

"I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Kenobi is gone!" He yelled.

Something broke in the distance. She was too tired to pay attention. And somehow, the news that Obi-Wan had escaped only scared her further.

"Then it means he can come back and hurt our children…" she said, as if to herself.

"Don't lie to me!" Anakin yelled again.

"I'm scared, Anakin. I'm not-"

"It's all your fault…" He said menacingly, seemingly not paying attention to her. "Didn't you think I couldn't see? I knew it was an act!" Anakin growled and all of a sudden his hands were gripping her arms again and his eyes flashed further in the small light. "You acted like you loved me to trick me! I knew I couldn't trust you…"

"There's no act, Anakin, I'm not playing games, I-"

"Don't." He said through clenched teeth. "You hate me, you wanted to leave with Kenobi again! But it failed!"

"Do you really think I would feel like that now if this was all a plan?" She asked tearfully, her brown eyes pleading with his. "You can feel my fear, I know you do… And you can feel my feelings for you." Something flickered in his eyes. She could swear she had seen some patches of yellow disappearing.

He let go of her roughly and turned his back on her, exhaling loudly.

"Kenobi is gone…" He repeated angrily.

"You shouldn't have spared him-"

She froze, the rest of her words dying on her lips.

Anakin whirled around, as shocked as she was at the words escaping her mouth.

_Who was she becoming?_

And yet, deep inside there was no denying the part of her that wanted Obi-Wan _dead_ so he could never ever come near her children again.

Anakin's jaw clenched.

"I underestimated him." He said slowly. "And I will not make that mistake again."

His fist clenched and she could feel the room vibrating dangerously.

She knew nothing could calm him. Nothing but her, _maybe_… Because now, she wanted this darkness away from him and from her too and she wanted to forget about her murderous thoughts and wanted this monster in front of her away from him, away from them…

Padmé exhaled shakily and closed her eyes.

Right before hearing a loud sound.

Panicked, her eyes flew open again.

Anakin was on the floor, breathing heavily.

In a second, she was at his side on the floor, panicked to see her usually strong husband struggling to breathe.

"What is it? Anakin?"

He pushed her hands away from him, struggled to sit up and exhaled roughly.

"Leave me alone…" He rasped. "It's nothing…"

Nothing or not, she didn't listen to his growling and stood up, calling one of their medical droids.

* * *

Anakin let the droid heal the cuts and wounds Obi-Wan had inflicted to him reluctantly.

Padmé stayed there next to him, watched as the burns appeared on his chest, hugging herself.

Somehow she had trusted Anakin's abilities and Obi-Wan could have… He could have killed him as surely as Anakin had almost destroyed him with Sith lightning.

She would walk between the medical room and the twins' endlessly, needing to see her children sleeping, needing to see for herself the security was flawless. Anakin had barked orders from the medical room, and Force fields had been installed quickly.

She felt slightly better but it didn't stop her from feeling scared.

Would Obi-Wan come back or was this the last time he attempted something?

How was it that she had never been afraid in her whole life until she met Anakin?

Sighing ruefully, she entered the medical room just as Anakin scrambled out of the chamber. She struggled to keep up with his pace as he joined his quarters.

His eyes were still yellow.

Padmé felt a pang. It had been a long time since she had witnessed such outbursts. In fact, after her betrayal, he had never ever shown her any shade of dark side. No yellow eyes, no outburst out of nowhere.

Even when he was rough with her, his eyes had been blue.

But _Obi-Wan_ had changed that.

Not for the first time she deeply resented the whole Jedi Order.

Anakin's bandages were still visible as he put a piece of cloth around his shoulders. When she saw where he was heading to, to the holoconference room, she caught his arm.

The yellow eyes eyed her hand questioningly and she repressed a shiver.

"Not now…" she said softly.

He exhaled roughly.

"This is the best time to catch him. He's still on Coruscant."

"You're exhausted…" Padmé protested, her hand slipping to his. No matter what he was saying, she could feel the remnants of their fight, _his injuries_, slowly catching up with him.

For all his talks, Anakin was human. He was no machine.

But his hand batted hers away from him.

"Go to sleep," he spat, heading for his conference room.

* * *

When he came back from the holoconference room, she was sitting on his bed, quietly waiting. Her legs wouldn't support her. She inanely noticed it was still dark outside. She wondered what time it was.

He sighed in annoyance when he spotted her.

"I told you to leave…"

Anakin tried to feign the absence of pain but she saw it on his face when he pulled off his shirt. Padmé stood up weakly and pulled him towards her.

He escaped her arms almost immediately.

His eyes were still yellow.

"Leave…" He repeated.

"I was scared to death of losing them…" She said suddenly, not quite understanding why she was saying this now. "I was scared to death of losing _you_…" She added out of nowhere.

Her lips found his skin blindly. She kissed his chest, avoiding the wounds. His mechanical hand tightened in her hair.

"Just leave…" He repeated under his breath as her mouth found his throat.

Her hands caressed his skin and she saw him flinch the slightest bit as her fingers came too close to one of his burns.

She thought he would let her go on when a mechanical grip pushed her away from him.

"I don't want you to-"

He trailed off, yellow eyes shining strangely in the relative darkness.

He sighed and pushed her away from him with the Force.

"I don't want you near me…" He whispered. "Not when I'm like _this_."

When she reached the door, he let her go. Padmé took some time to get used to the ground under her feet again.

"I wanted Obi-Wan to die tonight." She said slowly.

Anakin looked at her in surprise.

And something else flickered in his eyes too…

Sadness.

"Leave." He repeated for what felt the umpteenth time.

But she was no longer afraid of him. When she came back, he didn't stop her. When she kissed him, he didn't resist. The grip around her only tightened.

And suddenly nothing else mattered.

Padmé didn't want to think. Didn't want to feel the darkness.

Or wanted to _drown_ into it, she no longer knew…

Anakin was rough when he pushed her on the bed, when his fingers took away her cumbersome corset, when he found a snippet of skin and she felt her mind spin because it had been so long…

There was something desperately sweet in the way Anakin was desperate to touch her. At first he held himself back. She was awfully aware he could hurt her. But she didn't care now, didn't care any longer… And then, he let go and her fingers reached out to divest him of his clothes, his of hers and suddenly there was nothing else but him.

She closed her eyes and abandoned herself in his arms, careful not to hurt him further as he flinched with every caress.

He made love to her with a quiet desperation she shared. Something flickered between them then, the kind of connection they shared when she was pregnant. But now, it was filled with darkness and despair and so much pain…

As she hugged him tight afterwards, she heard his sobs near her ear and his voice whispering her name again and again.

It was only then she felt warm tears drifting past her temples, only then she realized she was crying too.

Only then she realized she was so in love with him it hurt.


	24. Chapter 18

Thank you everyone for these awesome reviews! I really appreciate how every one of you is taking time to respond to the chapters. Thanks again. Hope you enjoy what's next.

* * *

**Chapter 18**

The sound of raindrops fallings on the window softly then more and more quickly awoke Padmé.

Her eyes opened gradually, and she blinked, surprised at the sudden lightning in the room. Thunder resonated in the distance and she instinctively snuggled deeper under the covers. Something was tugging at her mind but she had no idea what it was. Her hazy mind turned to her children automatically and everything came back to her in a rush.

She was not in her room and those black sheets wrapped around her body were… Anakin's.

Turning around abruptly, she sat up swiftly and contemplated the sight on her right.

Anakin was lying beside her, sleeping.

Padmé had never felt so vulnerable in this bed.

The man lying beside her was her husband and yet… They had grown so distant these past few months she didn't know who he was anymore somehow. And somehow she was…

Afraid.

Afraid he could get power over her again and _hurt_ her again.

Sighing deeply, she recalled the way she had felt so weak in his arms, seeking the comfort he was desperately craving from her too.

She had been relieved to see Anakin's eyes turn to blue as soon as their clothes fell on the floor but for a while she had not cared about the color of his eyes.

Yellow.

The pressure of his fingers around her arms came back, his rage blinding even her and this cold voice in her ear.

_You'll be at my side now. You will do whatever I say._

Unconsciously, her right hand reached her throat as she felt his phantom fingers contracting around her air pipe…

"Padmé…"

Her head whipped around. Anakin was muttering her name, frowning in his sleep.

He was having a nightmare. She knew it instinctively.

It surprised her. She had figured Anakin had stopped sleeping altogether or wasn't bothered with nightmares any longer.

She had been wrong.

The young woman reached out a hand and smoothed her husband's brow hesitantly, waiting for his reaction breathlessly.

His reflexes were so fast now… He never fully slept, that much she knew.

But to her surprise, Anakin calmed down as soon as her cool hand touched his burning skin. Emboldened, Padmé came closer and brushed back some hair from his forehead.

His hair all tousled like that and his face almost relaxed, he looked so boyish that for an instant, she couldn't breathe.

Her fingertips moved to his cheek, caressed the fine stubble…

Anakin frowned in his sleep and turned towards her hand.

She froze, biting her lip very hard. But he didn't wake up. Rather he seemed to sleep more peacefully beside her.

Suddenly she needed to get out of this bedroom.

Flinging her legs over the side of the bed, her fingers found her ruffled gown in the dark. Lightning flashed in the distance again.

Padmé shivered.

The last time she had witnessed artificial rain on Coruscant, she had been in her apartment in the 500 Republica, waiting for Anakin to come back from Mustafar.

It brought back too many painful memories and she closed her eyes against the tears hastily, pulling on her gown with some difficulty and escaping his bedroom as quietly as possible.

As soon as she reached her quarters, she took a long shower, changed into one of her nightgowns and joined the twin's room, not before deactivating the Force fields surrounding their room.

The thunder had awakened them somehow and Luke was starting to wail to join his sister's pleas. The sound was oddly satisfying and she took her time before taking them into her arms, both at the same time, even if they were starting to become bigger.

She didn't know when she began to cry, but she only realized it when she slid on the floor near the cribs, clutching her children. It seemed her tears were mingling with her children's as she cuddled them close to her chest.

* * *

_Lightning flew past his fingers very quickly._

_It reached the agonising man on the floor._

_"You will die, Kenobi. At last." He said with smugness._

_The scenery changed and Obi-Wan was no longer at his feet, the lightning reaching someone else, screaming in agony on the ground below him._

_The screams were familiar._

_"Anakin, please, stop!"_

_The Force lightning kept on flowing from his fingertips, reaching Padmé's form on the floor and he couldn't do anything._

_He couldn't stop himself. There was nothing he could do. Nothing he could do to save her._

_Too late._

_And then he felt himself drifting away suddenly, something warm gracing his skin…_

_Something…_

_It stopped and he was plunged into the darkness again._

_Padmé disappeared from his sight as suddenly as she had appeared and Obi-Wan's lightsaber slashed at him again making him stumble. He fought against the Jedi, harder and harder until he felt pain in his shoulder. The Jedi changed as he came forward, straining to kill his opponent. In his blur, he recognized Bariss Offee, then Mace Windu, Shaak Ti, countless Jedi he had killed in the Temple, one of the Padawans in the Jedi council room, and he didn't care, children, adults, they were Jedi, his enemies, evil incarnated. The form turned into Sidious and he fought harder, harder until it turned into himself and he saw the yellow eyes that never left him stare at him. When his blade went through his own body's he howled in triumph and watched himself die._

_He stumbled on his knees and…_

_Screamed in horror._

_There was no longer any Sith on the floor._

_There were only small bodies around him. Padawans killed, lying on the floor where he had left them._

_Right before him, he recognized the little boy's face immediately, the little body still, the lightsaber wound still smoking on the small chest._

_It was Luke._

Anakin sat up, his breathing harsh and painful and he barely heard the thunder outside. The pounding of his heart deafened him.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he willed the painful dream away with all his might.

When his breath returned to normal, he opened his eyes again and realized it was already morning.

Beside him, the bed was desperately empty.

Padmé was gone.

He looked at the empty place with resigned eyes, knowing she wouldn't come back. A moment of weakness and she was in his arms. The other moment, she would become as elusive as she had always been.

But what he had ignored for months inside him was suddenly becoming stronger and craved her more than ever before. He craved her physically, emotionally; so much he thought he would become mad. He put his head into his hands and muffled a groan of agony. His injuries started to ache deeply but he barely paid attention to it.

Torturously, his mind replayed the sight of Padmé's body and her quiet sighs in his ear and the way her hands felt on him again and…

He stopped himself forcefully, made himself picture Padmé's closed face when she would look at him again. Closed off, guarded. As she had been the past few months. None of them would utter a word about this night. Padmé would be even further away from him than she had ever been.

He briefly wondered if she hated him now.

He had been unable to protect their children. And his weakness…

He had been so stupid to spare this Jedi…

He vowed to find him and make him suffer the longest time possible. Once Obi-Wan was finally dead, he would taste freedom for the first real time of his life. And no one would ever harm his family.

Ever.

* * *

The Palace was strangely silent this morning, Anakin reflected, as he went through the corridors. He reached the twins' room quickly, the Force fields closing behind him. The twins were sleeping peacefully. His glove reached Luke's hair and he stroked the little boy's forehead gently. His mind pushed the image of his dream the furthest away again. He inhaled deeply and watched him sleep for some time before turning away-

And stopping in his tracks.

Padmé was sleeping on the couch in one of the corners of the room, her hair a little bit dishevelled, her nightgown ruffled.

Her eyes were slightly swollen and he flinched at the thought she had probably fallen asleep crying.

Silently, he took her in his arms, as gently as possible and led her to her bed. She didn't stir when he put her down softly and looked exhausted. He caressed her cheek and didn't resist kissing her forehead softly. He suddenly had the strangest urge to awaken her and look into her eyes and see something else than calm indifference. Last night, there had been something close to…

He didn't want to think about it.

Anakin stood up and left his wife sleeping.

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi limped through the streets, hiding beneath the cloak he had stolen from a criminal creature in the lower grounds of Coruscant. Finding a shelter under the rain soaking him, he stood there, wary of his surroundings.

His arm hurt so much he wondered if he would stay conscious the time it would take for him to be healed.

A speeder halted next to him soon enough and he was husked away from the dirty street.

* * *

Raking a hand through his wet hair, Obi-Wan was grateful for the blanket offered to him by the young woman who sat in front of him.

"Thank you for your hospitality, milady …" He said shakily, still shivering from the cold.

He should be used to it by now, he thought bitterly. Between the months spent on Dagobah and the training under the rain and all this time spent with Anakin during the war-

The Jedi's thoughts stopped there.

It still hurt somehow.

He glanced at one of the security cameras of the luxurious apartment and the woman smiled in understanding.

"Do not worry, General Kenobi. I deactivated the cameras right after receiving your call. Now, I would like you to explain to me what you attempted to do exactly."

Obi-Wan sighed deeply, resting his elbow on his knee and stroking his face tiredly, the space where his hand should be aching deeply.

The woman's face became concerned.

"Is it your arm, Master Jedi? I could arrange for you to…"

He shook his head impatiently.

"No… Not now. It's too dangerous. Knowing An-_Vader_, he probably made his men spy on every medical facility of Coruscant. I do not want to endanger you any further."

The red-headed woman sighed.

"My life is already in danger, Master Kenobi. Taking part in some _activities_ is not restful. Though now Amidala has taken charge of some matters, we are free to take care of some sensitive _issues_." She smiled good-naturedly. "Anyway, you are not here to talk about the Alliance, I suppose."

"No, Senator." He replied tiredly. In small sentences, he explained to her what he had been unable to tell her through the private line Bail Organa had provided him with.

_If anything happens to you, contact Senator Mothma and she will help you._

Mon Mothma listened to him quietly, her eyes widening as he went on with his explanation. She showed a lot of surprise at how easily he had gone through the palace security. He promised her he would leave her some tips even though he was very well aware that only a Jedi could break through the tight security surrounding the castle.

He spoke of the fight with Anakin, of his hand lost in their duel, of him doing a mind-trick on stormtroopers...

He concluded the narration with defeat heavy in his voice.

The gracious woman seemed to sense it. She left him to rest.

And plan.

He wouldn't get a new hand in at least two days, the time it would take for Mon Mothma to find a way for him to leave the planet as discreetly as possible. His exhaustion caught up with him and he decided to slide into a Force trance to heal himself slightly at least.

And it prevented him from thinking.

Thinking about Anakin and what it had been like to see him again and the regret and shame he felt to leave his apprentice in the darkness. The young man he had trained all these years had been unrecognizable.

A monster.

And Obi-Wan had failed once again.

* * *

Padmé was too exhausted to go to the Senate today. Also, paranoia or not, she needed to be near her children constantly. When she heard Anakin had seen them this morning, she figured he hadn't felt the need to talk to her. But above all she wondered if Anakin hadn't _wanted_ to talk to her…

Artoo beeped next to her, as if in apology for not spotting Obi-Wan the night before. She passed a hand on the dome comfortingly and put on the Holonet. The news turned to the brewing war between two planets in the Outer Rim and she mentally calculated the cost it would represent for a new troop to be sent over there and prevent a massacre between the two populations. Granted that Anakin wouldn't use all the credits for the search for Obi-Wan of course.

No news about any breaching into the Palace's security.

The Holoreporters had followed the orders perfectly, she reflected bitterly.

* * *

Leia stood between her mother's hands and took a hesitant step before falling into them. She needed support but she was close to walking now. Padmé smiled and decided to do the same with her son. Leia started to cry, not pleased that her mother turned her attention to her brother. The boy wavered and fell. Seemingly, Luke was not really motivated by the prospect of walking yet. His mother sighed and tried to make him stand again but the boy still fell. He frowned, unenthusiastic with the experience. The expression on his face made Padmé smile again and she deposed a kiss on the blond hair, trying to soothe him. When she looked up, her son still in her arms, she froze.

Anakin was standing near the doorway, watching them silently.

Their gazes didn't lock for he looked away hastily, avoiding her eyes.

She bit her lip, the silence beginning to weigh between them.

"When did you come back home?" She asked, trying to break the tension, concentrating on wiping some drool from her son's face. Luke giggled in her arms.

"Not long ago." He murmured. He was looking with rapt interest at the weather outside.

"Oh." She hesitated. "Any news about…?"

Anakin's jaw clenched.

"No."

As if the question had been too much for him, he whirled around in a swirl of his dark cloak and set out to leave.

"Say good night to the twins for me…" He whispered.

In an impulse she couldn't quite explain, Padmé stood up, still holding Luke, and activated the Force fields before he could leave..

Anakin turned around, an eyebrow arched in surprise. This time he looked at her in the eye.

"Wait…" She added uselessly. She exhaled in frustration. "We need to talk about…"

She fought the urge to roll her eyes. This situation was ridiculous. Had she grown so far away from her own husband? Anakin's eyes were lost in the distance and she wondered if he had actually heard her talking.

Luke was getting agitated in her arms and she pulled out her comm. device in frustration.

"Threepio?" She ignored the babbling that followed her inquiry and cut the droid off. "Come here right now."

He came into the room soon enough, seemingly surprised.

"Well, Your Highness, I was teaching some protocol to some employees and surely Miss Dormé would have been a better choice to take care of Master Luke and-"

"Enough, Threepio." Anakin cut him harshly.

The droid stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes shining strangely, as if they could reveal the sudden fear coming to him.

"Look after Luke and Leia until they fall asleep," she instructed as she put her children into their cribs. "Then stand guard over them and comm. me if there is any problem," she said sternly.

The Force fields were set up and Anakin led the way to her quarters in the seconds that followed. The doors had just closed behind them when she turned to face her husband and found herself pressed against the door, lips closing over hers before she could breathe. His hands were already pulling at her gown hastily and she shivered, melting under his touch. When his lips left hers to trail on her neck, she inhaled sharply and could only arch an eyebrow at Anakin's strange behaviour. One minute he couldn't look at her in the eye and the other…

Not that she really minded, she reflected as his hands slipped between the folds of her gown.

"Anakin…" She gasped. "What-"

He froze against her and then pulled away shakily.

"I'm sorry…" He whispered, straightening himself.

She looked at him silently for a while, noticed the way his eyes always seemed sad and the way his shoulders were sagged down in sorrow and before she knew it, she had thrown herself into his arms, locking her mouth with his immediately.

They stumbled into her bedroom, then her bed and everything happened in a blur.

He took his time to explore her this time, tender and passionate at the same time. All her worries flew out of the window. At least for some time. He flinched under her caresses and she actually stopped, kissing his injuries. Her lips drifted to another area of his chest.

"I didn't know this scar…" She whispered against his chest.

He muttered something like 'long time ago' in her hair and pulled her against him again. The rest was lost in incoherent words and sighs.

Listening to his heart beat quickly under her ear was something she had always relished. He fell asleep next to her, his mechanical arm holding her close.

When all was silent around her, save his soft breathing filling the room, she sighed against his skin.

"I love you, Anakin." She murmured.


	25. Chapter 19

Hello! Sorry for the delay, here's the new chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 19**

Emperor Vader cursed loudly.

The aide's face on his screen greyed with fear. He took a deep breath, clearly trying to calm himself.

To no avail.

"You have failed," Vader growled.

The aide trembled. Vader could feel the fear emanate from the man from where he sat behind his desk.

"Your Highness-" The man's voice trembled as well.

_First the excuses_, Vader reflected.

"We tr-tried everything! But Obi-Wan Kenobi va-vanished into thin air!"

"It means someone helped him!" Vader exploded. "And you have no idea who his accomplice is!"

"We will! We will, Your Highness!"

"Too late," the Emperor barked. "Give me one reason to spare your life."

The aide paled, almost fainting.

_Now the begging…_

"Your Highness, ple-please, I have a family! My poor children…"

Vader eyed him with detached indifference.

_You should have thought of this before starting to work for the Senate…_

Did he really think such sentimental drivel would sway the Emperor's decision?

"You have failed." Vader repeated, his jaw clenched. "I do not care for incompetent officers."

He bent closer to the screen and eyed the trembling aide, his glove reaching towards the console. "There is one thing I cannot stand, Officer."

His fingers contracted and the aide gasped for air, still pleading silently.

"Failure."

The aide's eyes widened as Vader increased the pressure around his throat. It wouldn't take long for this scum to die now.

_Now it ends…_

"Anakin?"

Padmé's muffled voice came from outside the door of his holoconference room.

The gloved fingers stopped their invisible hold. Instinctively, the grip he had around his aide's neck dissolved.

The aide collapsed on the floor, clutching his throat and coughing.

Vader exhaled angrily.

"Find Kenobi's accomplice." He barked to the coughing officer. "Or I'll make sure to crush your neck next time."

The aide nodded hastily and thanked him profusely between two coughs.

_Disgusting._

He shut the console just as Padmé entered the holoconference room.

She smiled brightly and her eyes lightened up when she spotted him.

Her smile was beautiful. As usual. He felt warm just by looking at her and all traces of darkness suddenly disappeared. Her nightgown clung to her curves, the pool of curls surrounded her face and she was…

He couldn't find words. All he could do was stare at her stupidly and smiling slightly in return.

Because she was smiling.

"Here you are…" she whispered, coming closer.

He hadn't seen her since morning when he had left her reluctantly. After one difficult nightmare again, he had awoken, disorientated, to find her pressed against him. Then, sleep had been elusive next to her. He had just watched her sleep the whole night, enthralled by any movement of her, his fingers tracing her skin reverently. How could he sleep when she lay next to him, at last?

And no sleep meant no nightmare.

He hadn't even felt tired when he left her still sleeping this morning. He felt strangely rested. Then the day had started and had never been more tiring.

A bunch of idiots were starting a war in the Outer Rim and he had to pass the Act to raise the funding for the Republic Military. An Act Padmé had written was waiting on his desk for his approval. The Senate had voted on another bill despite his suspicions of suppressed credits.

The last thing the Emperor needed to worry about was _Obi-Wan _and thanks to the aide stationed on Coruscant's orbit, the one who had so undeservingly escaped with his life, he had just learned that there was absolutely no trace of Obi-Wan leaving the planet.

Anakin exhaled roughly and tried to calm himself and forget his stressful day. Padmé was still standing in the doorway.

"You look exhausted," she commented softly.

He shrugged and got up from his desk.

"What did you want?" he asked her, a little bit too roughly.

He felt her close off slightly and he almost cursed himself.

"I didn't see you this morning…" she trailed off.

"I didn't want to wake you," he whispered.

Padmé's eyes bore into his. Anakin felt strangely vulnerable. She suddenly left the doorway and stepped closer. When she stood before him, her hand reached out and caressed his cheek.

"You really look exhausted, Ani."

He froze.

_Ani_.

How long had it been since she called him that? She didn't even seem to notice her slip and kept staring at him with concern.

"No news of him I suppose?" she whispered.

Anakin only shook his head.

For a moment, she just stood there, caressing his cheek. Then, unexpectedly, she closed the space between them, pressed herself against him. He thought his heart would burst out of his chest.

Timidly, his arms went around her, holding her close. He burned where she touched him.

"I'm afraid," she said, her voice muffled against his tunic.

His heart constricted and he tightened his hold around her.

"He won't come back, I promise you." he said darkly, his jaw clenched.

Padmé pulled away slightly, frowning, her deep brown eyes watching him intently. He felt her about to say something, then she decided against it. She buried her face against his chest again.

* * *

"I don't see them enough."

Padmé glanced from the agitated baby in her arms to her husband. Anakin was dressing Leia for the night and the little girl was giggling in her father's arms. He looked serious and sounded forlorn at his admission.

"I know," she breathed, completing Luke's dressing. "I feel the same way whenever I come back from the Senate." As if on cue, her son started to cry against her shoulder. She took a nursing bottle and put it in his mouth gently, efficiently silencing him. Kissing his small hand, she smiled.

Looking up, she found herself watched by Anakin. He looked so young suddenly, as if some burdens were lifted from his shoulders.

But when the twins were put to bed, Anakin turned to the door, ready to leave. He felt strangely distant, something seemingly weighing on his mind.

Padmé felt slightly taken aback. He only bid her good night, with a slight kiss, too quick for her taste and left before she could say a thing.

She felt acutely lonely.

Lonely when she woke up in an empty bed, her only solace, breathing in his pillow and thinking of him the whole day. Lonely now she felt him close off from her again.

There was still a long road to travel.

Or was there?

Maybe what she had glimpsed in Anakin had been her imagination, her heart trying to find hope where there was none. This man had almost killed a human being with his bare hands and no remorse two nights ago.

But her husband was still there, hidden. She saw him when he was with their children. Saw him when he made love to her. Saw him in his rare moments of tenderness. But she always had to make the first step. And was it enough? Enough to bring him back from the dark side?

Would it ever be enough or was she trying to find the last remnants of the man she loved inside in vain?

Not for the first time, Padmé was at loss.

* * *

When Anakin came back to his chambers after sparring with one of his training droids, he was surprised to see his wife sitting on the sofa in one corner of his bedroom.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, slightly out of breath after his sparring session.

Fighting had never felt so good. It had released all his anger with Obi-Wan. And himself though he didn't know why.

Padmé was frowning. When she still didn't answer, he sighed and left her there. When he emerged from the bathroom after a quick shower, she was still sitting at the same place.

"Padmé, what is it?" he asked in annoyance. Then it hit him. "Is there something wrong with the twins?" He asked, feeling panic reach him.

"No,"she said calmly. "Why are you distancing yourself from me?"

The question took him by surprise. He didn't want to answer it.

"I'm tired, I have to go to the Senate early tomorrow."

"You're working too much," she said shortly.

"Someone has to do it," he replied as shortly. "One of us needs to go the Senate while the other looks after the twins."

"I could go to the Senate and you could stay here with the twins."

Anakin sighed in exasperation.

"Once we catch Obi-Wan, anything you want…"

"Anything?" Padmé whispered, one eyebrow arched.

His lips tightened in a fine line.

"I'm too tired to play at this game," he said dryly.

Padmé looked away for a minute then stood up unexpectedly, approaching him slowly. Her eyes could capture him and she knew it, didn't she?

He let her kiss him and his hands pulled her closer instinctively. Her scent intoxicated him, the softness of her skin under his callused fingers, the curls caressing his face as he kissed her more insistently. She moaned against his lips and her arms locked around his neck. Breathlessly, he broke off their kiss and lazily traced a path on her neck then shoulder with his lips.

Somehow she had gone through his barriers too easily.

"Padmé…" he whispered against her skin.

Then the words stumbled out of his lips.

"I'm afraid," he admitted in the sanctuary of her arms.

Her hands traced his back as he felt her breathe in his hair.

"Afraid of what?" she murmured. "Of loving me?"

He tightened his hold against her and one hand pulled back one strap of her nightgown, his lips following suit.

_Of losing you, of losing Luke and Leia, of my visions…_

But instead, he found himself saying something else entirely.

"Of myself."

The admission surprised him but didn't seem to surprise her. She murmured an 'I know' and other soothing words in his ear. He knew what the next words were going to be. When her voice broke and she started to say his name, he knew what she wanted to tell him.

He didn't want to hear the words, he couldn't.

The man embracing her didn't deserve those words.

He stopped her and muffled her voice with a kiss. Gently, almost afraid she would break in his arms, he took her to his bed.

* * *

A trace on her arm.

Fingertips tracing her skin in a fleeting caress, warm and soothing.

Padmé's eyes fluttered open. She found herself enveloped in soft sheets, blue eyes looking at her from across the other pillow warmly. She smiled softly, reaching out and taking Anakin's hand to kiss it. He looked at her silently for a while and then surprised her suddenly, surging forward and burying his face in the crook of her neck, his body tangled with hers. She stroked his hair quietly as he kissed her skin softly.

"I've missed you so much…" he murmured against her. His voice was tight with emotion and she fought against the tears.

"I've missed you too," she croaked out, burying her fingers into his ruffled hair and holding him close.

The next words surprised her deeply.

"Do you hate me, Padmé?" he asked, his voice thick with tears.

Her fingers stopped their movement in his hair. She had never heard him sound so vulnerable. He didn't dare look at her, his face hidden against her as one hand traced her belly in silence.

"Of course not-" she began but he interrupted her.

"I felt you hate me before," he whispered.

The rest of his words shocked her even more.

"I don't blame you."

"Ani… " she murmured, shifting to kiss his forehead. "I don't hate you…" She said, feeling one tear trickling down her temple. "I'm in lo-"

"Don't," he cut her off, tightening his hold onto her. "Please, my love, don't say this."

* * *

Dagobah had never felt so friendly.

When Obi-Wan reached the muddy planet at last, he felt a stab of relief fill him. His hand still ached, well, his mechanical hand ached. He felt disgusted by this thing that was attached to him but he supposed he would get used to it someday. And now he knew what it was like, he reflected sadly.

Yoda was waiting for him, perched on a tree trunk, his hands on his cane, as though Obi-Wan had been gone for a few hours instead of days.

"Suffered, you have?" Yoda asked gravely.

Obi-Wan sighed deeply and reluctantly said the inevitable.

"You were right, Master Yoda", he admitted, taking a seat next to the old Master. "I lost to Anakin. _Vader_. I almost managed to save the twins. But he got there sooner than I expected."

"And now worse matters are." Yoda said, his eyes piercing him.

Obi-Wan nodded gravely.

"I thought Padmé would help me but I was wrong. She has changed or maybe she never was whp I thought she was. And Anakin… " He sighed again. "He's a monster, Master. He really is destroyed by the dark side."

Yoda nodded, deep in thought.

"Rest, Obi-Wan," he said at last. "Meditate on this, I must."

The younger Jedi started. For a moment, he felt like if he was young Padawan again, being dismissed by his Master, Qui-Gon. Then he shrugged. He was grateful that Yoda was not blaming him for the disaster his mission had become.

Obi-Wan longed for rest.

And he didn't want to think of Anakin any longer.


	26. Chapter 20

Hello!! Am really glad you folks enjoy this! *waves to old readers on LJ and the boards* Here's the new chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 20**

_Black. Everywhere he turned…_

_A whisper in the darkness._

_"Save me…"_

_Padmé._

_The feeling of oppression rose in his chest._

_He couldn't see…_

_"Anakin… Save me…"_

_He reached out hands in the dark._

_Found..._

_Cold hands in his…_

_"Ani, help me!"_

_A lightsaber flashed in the darkness._

_Padmé screamed._

Quick gasps contrasting with the silence.

Darkness around him.

The lights of the traffic outside filtering through the blinds became more insistent.

Dark heavy hair was spread next to his face.

Anakin took some time realizing those quick breaths were his and the nightmare was over.

_Or the vision… _

Blinking, his hands reached out blindly and found Padmé's body in the dark. Still shivering, he inched closer to her and buried his face in her hair. His flesh fingers curled around her hip and then found her belly instinctively.

Old habits died hard.

They had settled into a routine almost instantly, finding their old sleeping habits, though there hadn't been a lot of time to get them during the war. Padmé slept on her side of the bed as she used to and he slept beside her, his hand reaching out to what had once been a swollen belly.

His fingers reached up to caress her arm softly as his breath returned to normal.

He was still flinching from touching her sometimes.

There was still this tiny murmur in him showing him the stain his bloody hands left on her skin.

But Padmé didn't seem to see it. Or didn't care.

And somehow getting through the day was easier now.

Even with _Obi-Wan _still on the loose…

His mind flashed to an image of his former Master on his knees, defeated. Misery written on his face and his hand lying next to him, still holding a lightsaber…

He still didn't understand what had stopped him from killing him on the spot.

His eyes narrowed in the darkness and he pictured himself killing the traitor in a merciless move this time.

There would have been freedom then…

And now he would only concentrate on his- _their_- Empire and on her and their children…

No more Jedi preventing him from living his life.

Anakin hated them –_him_- so much sometimes he thought he would become mad with rage.

His fingers contracted around Padmé's arm unconsciously. She stirred against him and Anakin almost cursed himself. Stroking her skin gently in silent apology, he burrowed his face in the crook of her neck and breathed in.

He wouldn't let Kenobi reach the newfound sanctuary of their bedroom.

Or anything else for that matter.

_Save me…_

Shuddering, Anakin tightened his hold around his wife.

In this room, right now, he didn't feel like an Emperor.

For the first time in what seemed forever, he longed for…

Guidance.

Palpatine's face appeared in his mind for the first time in months. Anakin suddenly longed for the days when everything was simpler.

But he could see the cold truth now. He never had a friend in Palpatine. Just someone who thought he could manipulate him like everybody else…

He had shown him who the Master was.

And yet…

Here, listening to Padmé's quiet breathing, he wondered if he was really that strong… Would the dark side save her again?

But save her from _what_?

Even the dreams about his mother had been more precise, giving him a hint of what she needed, of what she was going through…

That train of thought only brought pain and he squeezed his eyes shut, his lips blindly finding Padmé's shoulder to reassure him of her presence next to him.

"Another nightmare?"

His eyes flew open.

Padmé hadn't moved in his embrace but he could feel her awareness returning slowly after her murmur. Her fingers reached out to stroke his hand. The simple gesture meant so much he felt his heart pound in his chest.

He only nodded against her hair. Strange how he didn't need to be an Emperor with her. Here, in her room, he only needed to be…

Himself.

_Myself…_

The murmur inside of him wondered what that was exactly.

"What was it about?" She inquired softly, her voice a little rough with sleep.

He sighed.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep…"

"It was about the twins, right?"

Anakin's mind flashed to Luke's lifeless eyes in front of him and he squeezed his eyes shut against the image. It haunted him even more than the Temple's… emptying.

"Anakin… You need to tell me…"

Something in him snapped and clamped down on the pain in his chest.

"Go back to sleep."

This time his tone left no room for discussion. She seemed to feel it for she stiffened in his arms and pursed her lips like she always did when she was angry about something.

He was half-tempted to _make_ her sleep for a while. Feeling her anger with him brought bad memories he would rather forget.

"Go back to sleep…" He whispered again, more softly.

But apparently it wasn't to be.

A loud cry resonated in the room through the interphone.

Anakin felt Leia hurting and instantly froze.

He was about to get up in alarm when he noticed Padmé was already up, tightening a robe around herself with a small smile.

"It's her teeth again…" She explained.

He exhaled in relief.

"She's still hurting about that?" He inquired, rubbing his eyes and sitting up.

Another voice resonated in the interphone.

"I am taking care of that, milady…"

He watched as Padmé's lips tightened and she exited the room anyway.

* * *

"Thank you, Dormé, but I can take care of that myself…" Padmé said briskly, before taking her weeping girl into her arms.

The handmaiden who looked a little bit dishevelled nodded quietly and watched as her mistress tended to her daughter. Padmé felt strangely angry. She felt like Dormé was almost surveying her as if checking she was taking care of her daughter the right way.

"You can go back to sleep," she told her after a few minutes.

She barely noticed she had used the same tone she had hated in Anakin's voice a little bit earlier.

Dormé's eyes narrowed slightly but she complied easily, leaving her alone with Leia.

Padmé felt better instantly.

_She_ was Leia's mother. And Leia needed her right now. A shiver went down her spine as she pictured her daughter being held by a Jedi she knew too well, on an obscure planet at the other end of the galaxy…

Instinctively she tightened her hold around her daughter.

* * *

Anakin wasn't there when she came back to their bedroom.

Frowning, Padmé realized it was already morning. She had spent the early hours of the day holding both twins and soothing Leia. Preparing herself for the day, she sat in front of her hairdresser and called Dormé, watching as her most trusted handmaiden came at her side, soon arranging her hair.

The silence was strangely oppressive.

Surely, Dormé hadn't taken her orders badly?

"Have you seen Anakin this morning? Has he already left?"

Dormé looked up from her work and her eyes settled on hers, reflected on the glass.

"His Highness is in his quarters, I believe."

Smiling slightly, Padmé stopped the other woman's hands when she noticed her hair being elevated into a complicated hairstyle.

"Nothing too spectacular, please… I'm staying at home."

Dormé blushed and detached the curls, taking her time to dispose the heavy hair on her shoulders.

"I am glad to see His Highness here more lately," Dormé commented off-handedly but with a small smile.

It was Padmé's turn to blush.

She looked away, feeling the asserted fingers of her handmaiden rummaging through her curls.

"I am glad too…" she only whispered.

Dormé's hands faltered in her hair.

"What about that awful Jedi? Master Kenobi?"

Padmé's eyes settled on her handmaiden's reflection again.

When she spoke, the Empress's words were precise and firm..

"I hope we never see him again."

* * *

Padmé had little hope of finding her husband in his office but here he was, rummaging through his datas, stiff and face closed off.

Anakin looked up with a start and eyed her in the entryway silently.

"I didn't think I'd find you here at this time of the day," she said softly, entering the room and walking towards his desk.

"I'm tired of the Senate", he mumbled, his fingers flying on several consoles around him, not sparing her a glance. "The research for Obi-Wan can be led here."

She sighed, taking a seat in front of him and watching him work silently.

But her mind was already back in action.

If he stayed there, it meant _she_ could go to the Senate. Alone. Padmé allowed herself a small smile. It meant he would let her take the reins for a while. Plenty of time to make some measures pass.

Anakin's voice pulled her out of her reverie though.

"Some evidence point to Kenobi's accomplice being in the Senate."

She knew some Senators were involved with a Rebel alliance and somehow she began to have some clues over who had helped Obi-Wan escape.

"You know the Senate more than I do," he added. "You should be the one leading the investigation there."

Silence.

"I trust you to help me find Obi-Wan." He whispered.

Padmé shivered and avoided her husband's gaze. She didn't want to think of Obi-Wan's shadow lingering in the Palace.

"Have you forgotten what day it is?" she whispered, one hand reaching out to his. He let her lace her fingers with his.

A shadow of a smile settled on his face and he put the data he was holding on his desk.

"I thought of mentioning it tonight because _technically_…"

Padmé let out a slight chuckle, reminded of old days and bickering over pointless things. Anakin's eyes darkened and his fingertips caressed her hand even more gently.

"_Technically_, it is tonight, I know," she replied. "I can't believe it has been four years now…" she whispered.

The warm hand around hers disappeared and she looked up to see Anakin walking around his desk and kneeling in front of her. His eyes had never seemed so blue. She raised one hand and caressed his features.

"What do you want for tonight?" he asked huskily. "I was thinking of a dinner in the most prestigious restaurant of Coruscant. But I could demand the Opera did something special for you. I could also commend some Holoreporters. That would be a good way to show we are close to our people."

Padmé shifted uncomfortably and her eyes settled in the distance. The last thing she wanted was a bunch of reporters around them for their _private_ anniversary.

An even sadder thought struck her.

_Was there anything to celebrate?_ They had never been together at that time the past years, never had an opportunity to just be together to remember their wedding on Naboo.

It felt like a century ago.

And now… she didn't feel like celebrating anything.

There were people dying because of them right now.

"I'd rather use that money for people dying of hunger on Mantooine." She replied coldly.

Anakin exhaled loudly.

"What do you want, Padmé?" he repeated softly.

_I'll do anything that you ask._

It seemed so long ago. She refocused on his face. The same blue _tortured_ eyes looked back at her. But the despair barely visible on the surface was different.

"Why didn't you do anything for _your_ birthday?" She asked suddenly.

It was Anakin's turn to look away. She remembered his evident bad mood that day, several weeks before Obi-Wan's appearance and how he had barely mentioned it. She hadn't thought much of it at that time but now suddenly it seemed important.

"I was busy and… having you by my side was enough…" he murmured. There was a pause. She wanted him to elaborate, he had become so secretive… But the blue eyes she had fallen in love with darkened and he took her hand in his again.

"So what do _you_ want for tonight?"

Several words collided in her mind.

_Freedom, democracy, protecting the children, safety…_

But those words didn't appeal to her right now. Several months ago she would have liked to flee the furthest away from Coruscant. Now…

Now she could finally make a difference. Now she could fix what Anakin had broken.

And suddenly, there was only one thing she wanted right now.

"Just you." She said simply. "The _real_ you…"

Anakin frowned but his eyes flickered with something familiar. He bit his lip but didn't say anything. With a start, she realized he couldn't speak. Sighing shakily, he only rested his head on her lap. Her fingers tangled in his hair softly.

There was no need for words suddenly.

* * *

"What do you mean by immortal?"

Obi-Wan Kenobi eyed Master Yoda carefully, one eyebrow arched and silently wondering if the Jedi in front of him had not reached his limits. The old Jedi moved around in the little kitchen as the rain splashed on the small windows.

The contact of the Jedi in question's cane with his leg got a small yelp out of him.

"Serious, those matters are." Yoda said gravely.

Obi-Wan sobered instantly.

"Found a way to retain his identity through the Force, one Jedi has," he explained. "This Jedi, your former Master is."

The younger Jedi's eyes widened in disbelief but hope.

"Qui-Gon?"

Master Yoda only nodded.

"But this is impossible!" He stammered.

Yoda only looked at him in slight amusement.

"Learnt the way described in the Journals of the Whills, Master Jinn did. Contact him, I can."

Looking at him gravely again, the diminutive Master shifted on the floor of the small house they had built. "To contact you now he wishes."

Despite the shock, Obi-Wan found himself smiling genuinely for the first time in months.

Maybe there was hope after all.

And he realized he needed...

Guidance.

"Interesting things Qui-Gon has to tell you…" Master Yoda only added enigmatically.

Obi-Wan frowned but only settled to face his elder and start meditating.

Whatever his former Master had to tell him could only be positive.


	27. Chapter 21 a

Thank you, thank you for these wonderful reviews! Here's next chapter!

* * *

Chapter 21 is divided into 2 parts. The first one deals with A/P more and we get to explore Padmé's mind. The second one will deal with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan but also with Padmé and politics. I think you're going to be surprised by the overall tone of this part. But keep in mind things will get a little bit more complicated in next part. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

**Chapter 21 a/**

"Come here."

Padmé Skywalker stumbled, her hand closing over her husband's tightly. The darkness around her seemed to stretch. Her other hand reached out in the dark as she tried to follow Anakin's steps.

Her lips pursed.

She didn't like this game.

A slight chuckle near her ear.

Padmé felt slightly surprised at the now foreign sound. A warm arm settled around her firmly from behind, keeping her safe.

Her heart beat faster and she nestled closer to him instinctively.

"Happy anniversary," a warm breath tickled her ear.

She felt something tug at her hair and then the darkness lifted.

Million stars seemed to look at her as her eyes finally saw, the traffic completely muted around them. She gasped in the darkness, feeling alone in the vastness of space, almost rediscovering the twinkling entities right above her all over again.

_Beautiful._

There was no other word.

"Who thought Coruscant could be this beautiful?" A soft voice resonated in her ear.

She snuggled closer to her husband and his warm breath and couldn't find words. That was when she noticed she was flying.

Gasping, she looked at her feet, glued in the air firmly, above the traffic. Chiding herself inwardly, she could only stare as she took sight of the endless glass-like corridor almost virtually standing in the air.

It felt like they were alone in the entire universe.

"With the pollution and the traffic, it's impossible to appreciate this sight when we're on Coruscant. But now we can."

Padmé's heart froze and her body drew apart from his the slightest bit. She knew the Palace had several levels and was already built in the highest place of Coruscant but she never knew there had been some sort of secret level she didn't know of and… paid with people's money.

"You built all this on purpose?"

Anakin sighed.

"I knew you'd wonder about that. Yes, I did. I come here when I need calm…" His voice trailed off as he visibly struggled with something painful. "Since you didn't want to spend anything for our anniversary, that's what I'm offering you. My place."

Padmé sighed, feeling suddenly unfair with him as he visibly tried to surprise her without her getting angry over their diverging point of views on finances.

Turning around in his arms, she watched him silently.

It really felt like they were alone in this world.

His expression was carefully guarded as he assessed her.

"Thank you," she breathed.

A flicker of relief shone in his eyes.

That alone was worth putting her initial reluctance aside just for one minute.

The sight of the twinkling light above them while nothing seemed to touch them was worth it somehow. Bit by bit, Padmé felt like she could finally get through his armor and touch him. Bit by bit, they felt more and more connected each day.

Anakin smiled that crooked smile of his.

She watched him, her hands reaching out to caress his features.

If only they could forget everything…

For the first time, Padmé believed they honestly could. For the first time, she allowed herself to forget all they were now and how repulsive they both were, deep down.

When she kissed him, no part of her protested. She could only see _her_ Anakin, the man she married, holding her above Coruscant. The kiss deepened, her hands starting to roam over his body as she breathed his name against his skin, his lips finding her neck blindly.

She just couldn't say the words he would never be able to hear and settled for conveying all he was for her with her hands, mouth, body and whole soul.

As she lay down next to him much later in their bed, snuggling beside him and watching him get rare hours of sleep, Padmé felt a familiar alarm in her mind. The same alarm had rung when she had kissed Anakin on a sun-drenched balcony on Naboo and she knew she should pay heed to it.

Her fingertips caressed his latest scar, the one given by Obi-Wan, watching his chest rise and fall steadily.

The alarm told her things would never be solved out between them.

She toyed with his mechanical fingers softly, quietly reflecting Anakin was letting his guard down completely now, even when he slept.

The alarm told her that even though she managed to get _her_ Anakin back, the trail of blood he had left behind him, _them_, would never leave them no matter where they went.

It told her it was too late.

In the darkness, she muffled a raging sob.

The tears wouldn't fall but she buried her face against his chest anyway.

A little voice in her told her that no matter what happened, she would spend her time left with the man she loved more than anything, trying to do as much as she could in the politics arena. It didn't matter if it was too late or not, all she knew was that without him with her, everything would be so much worse.

She suddenly heard her name whispered frantically in the dark, rumbling in her ear.

_Another nightmare…_

Padmé shivered and wrapped her arms around her husband. Anakin's mechanical hand came around her tightly, hurting her skin.

Something strange happened then.

She heard her own screams in her mind, echoing, making her head ache instantly.

It took her seconds before realizing she was actually hearing the remnants of Anakin's nightmare.

* * *

"I think this is a great idea, Anakin."

Her quiet voice surprised him.

Anakin looked up from his desk, keeping an eye on Leia who was teasing her brother a few meters away. Sometimes he wondered what he and Padmé would do when the twins started to walk and stroll around in the palace. Frowning, he watched his elegantly dressed wife walk towards him. She had a smile on her face and he wondered what had happened in the Senate to make her look so satisfied. Fortunately Padmé had caught Leia's little game and took the girl in her arms. Their daughter started to cry, clearly unhappy she was taken away from her newfound victim.

Slightly annoyed, Anakin sent a mind suggestion to his daughter without even thinking clearly.

The girl quieted down in her mother's arms instantly, throwing him a hesitant glance.

The prospect of their training suddenly reappeared and he almost gloated about the potential the twins were surely holding. A few more years and they would be able to be taught the ways of the Force.

Of the _whole_ Force.

No dark side warning, they would make their own choices.

Something about that made him uncomfortable. It was almost like he bore a resemblance to…

"What great idea?" Anakin rumbled, roughly interrupting his train of thoughts as Padmé put a still intimidated Leia on the ground next to her brother.

His wife took her familiar seat in front of him, reminding him of how much he missed her now she spent her whole time in the Senate again.

"The law on Tatooine," she explained quietly. "This war against the Hutts actually served some purpose and I have to admit you were right. And now slavery no longer exists there…"

Her voice died down as she caressed his flesh hand. He swallowed and didn't respond. She demanded nothing from him, knowing how much it meant for him without any explanation. He squeezed her hand gratefully as she went on with the projects she intended for the relief for refugees in the Outer rim.

Anakin sighed.

Maybe it was high time for him to trust her fully.

Minutes later, as his wife confidently took her bigger twins in her arms to lead them to their quarters, he called one of his aides after her leaving.

He instructed a holoconference immediately.

He was tired of giving his wife instructions and watching Padmé struggling to present her project in a light that would accommodate him. As long as she didn't wreck the Empire, everything would be fine with him.

It was high time the Empress was allowed to take her own decisions officially.

And constitutionally.

* * *

When Anakin joined Padmé in their bed much later that night, he told her of the amendments to the constitution he had just brought. Her face barely shifted in the darkness but he could feel her disbelief.

And then, unmistakably, her _satisfaction_.

He barely had time to probe further, because Padmé's hands toyed with his hair and she started speaking.

"Did you ever want…?" she trailed off, suddenly very interested in the silky sheet wrapped around her body. Anakin muffled a 'what?' against her knuckles as he kissed the soft skin.

Padmé heaved a sigh.

"Did you ever want to see another woman?"

He stared at her for a while and he could feel her embarrassment growing.

How could she even fathom this idea?

"Of course not…" he replied in disbelief, his blue eyes boring into hers. "Why?"

Padmé's gaze seemed more distant in the darkness.

"I haven't been a good wife…" she whispered distantly. "All this time when we didn't-"

Anakin swallowed and pulled her closer.

"Don't blame yourself…" he said very softly, his hands caressing her hair gently. Her nose pressed against his neck as she hugged him close.

"Blame me," he heard himself say hoarsely against the curls caressing his face.

_For everything._

The voice inside him was growing louder in his mind lately, he reflected with annoyance.

"Anakin…" she whispered against his skin. "Do you still love me?"

He fought the urge to laugh madly at her soft question. If there was one thing he had always been holding onto for all those months, it had been her, Luke and Leia.

But suddenly he couldn't bring himself to say the words.

"All I've ever done was for you, for our children," he heard himself say.

The nasty voice in him truly protested for the first time.

_Really?_

Painful visions suddenly invaded his mind.

_Little bodies lightened by the fire merging around him, eyes widened in fear just before being shut forever, cries of agony and Padmé clutching, clutching her throat…_

He closed his eyes against the images and held Padmé tighter.

"You're my whole life," he said hoarsely.

In the darkness, the screams were too loud in his mind.

He fought against the urge to cry and scream and clutch his head to make the madness stop, this darkness invading his soul…

_(and did he even have a soul left?)_

…but Padmé pulled back from his embrace and kissed him.

As if she had _felt_ what he was going through.

Silently, she guided his hands down her body, pulling her nightgown away in the darkness and burying her hands into his hair as he pinned her down on the bed with his body, kissing her hungrily.

The words escaped her lips then, as they made love, in his ear, broken, beautiful and painful.

He both hated and needed those words.

But her voice held hope and light in the broken shell he was.

_I love you, Anakin, I love you…_


	28. Chapter 21 b

Hello everyone! Thanks for still following the story! Here's next chapter, as usual, I hope you like it.

* * *

**Chapter 21 b/**

"The key, the children are not."

Such simple words.

But they turned Obi-Wan Kenobi's already complicated life completely upside down.

"What?" he only stammered. "But Master-"

Yoda shook his head, his small fingers crossed over his cane in their little house.

Rain was splashing against the window and Obi-Wan could barely feel the warmth from the small fireplace beside him. He hated this planet even more as the days went by.

"Let Qui-Gon tell you about this, I will."

Obi-Wan struggled to keep his calm. It was strangely hard those days.

"I am still waiting for Qui-Gon to talk to me," he sighed. "But I'm starting to think I will never hear him…"

_-Patience, Obi-Wan, isn't this what I always taught you?-_

The young Master Jedi froze, his eyes locking with Yoda's amused ones in silence. He could only hear a voice, from inside his mind to the walls around them. Deep, comforting and painfully familiar.

"Mas- Master?"

_-Yes, Obi-Wan, this is me. I was waiting for the right time to contact you.-_

Obi-Wan struggled to maintain his composure.

To no avail.

Joy filled him for the first time since forever.

"This feels good, Master," he admitted with a smile.

_-I have been proud of you, my old apprentice. I cannot guide you much now for you will have to make your own choice, but I hope that by now you have come to learn you did everything the wrong way.-_

Obi-Wan frowned. Master Yoda's face in front of him was inscrutable.

"With the twins, you mean? But they are the only hope we have left! Anakin-" he took a deep breath. "Anakin is no more."

_-He is the Chosen one_.-

Silence.

As if this statement alone could explain everything.

"He no longer is the Chosen one," Obi-Wan wearily explained. "How could he be? He may have killed Sidious but the dark side seems even more present now. He has become the evil he was supposed to destroy."

_-He still is the Chosen One. He has yet to fulfill his mission.-_

"How could he?" The Jedi countered in disbelief. "Only his children can do something now! But I failed and they won't be saved."

_-The wrong way, Obi-Wan… You are analyzing all this the wrong way.-_

Obi-Wan frowned, feeling like an apprentice all over again. Like he was missing a piece of the puzzle altogether.

"But if his children are not the key, what is?"

_-The truth is right in front of you. It has always been. Trust the Force.-_

"So I should do nothing? And wait for Anakin to come back from the dark side though it is impossible?" Obi-Wan asked incredulously.

_-Anakin is the Chosen One. Nothing is impossible for him.-_

_Another cryptic answer_, Obi-Wan reflected bitterly. "Anakin is going to come back from the dark side then?" he asked slowly, disbelievingly.

_- I cannot know this, Obi-Wan. Only Anakin can do this. If he wants to.-_

"Anakin is no more!" Obi-Wan said in frustration, staring at the ceiling as if Qui-Gon was right there.

_-There is good in him still. There is hope.-_

"Hope?" the Jedi whispered. "He slaughtered _all_ the Jedi! He is violently holding the whole galaxy in his leashes! There isn't any hope left until we do something! And the children could have become a great asset to destroy Vader!"

_-The children cannot destroy Vader. Only Anakin can.-_

"Right, Qui-Gon is," Yoda said quietly, taking part in the conversation for the first time. "The Chosen One, Skywalker still is."

Obi-Wan stared at Yoda, uncomprehending.

"If only you knew how much I want to believe this," he said slowly. "But I have seen for myself what a monster he is now…"

_-And yet you are still alive…-_

There was just a hint of sarcasm in his Master's voice.

"Because he wanted me to suffer."

_-If he really wanted you dead, you wouldn't be here now. I hope you know now that taking the children away from him is not the solution.-_

Obi-Wan sighed. "I hoped it would work. I will have to try another way."

If he could sigh, Obi-Wan knew Qui-Gon would have heaved one right now. But just hearing his voice was comforting despite the fact he found himself disagreeing with his former Master and not for the first time.

_-Trust the Force. It provided something for Anakin to come back.-_

The Jedi frowned.

"What?"

-_Something that has always been there, right in front of you. There is no coincidence, Obi-Wan.-_

"What are you talking about? The twins? Bail?"

_-The Force will find the way to confront Anakin with another choice again. We can only hope he will choose the right side this time.-_

"So I have to wait here for Anakin to finally grasp the consequences of his actions?"

-_Trust the Force.-_

Obi-Wan sighed deeply.

"This has become difficult, Master," he admitted. "My trust has been shattered with what I have witnessed these past years."

Suddenly, he could almost swear he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder.

He truly missed Qui-Gon and even more now.

_-That is why you fail, Obi-Wan.-_

No more words. The room became silent again.

And Obi-Wan was still at loss.

* * *

Empress Vader studied the plans of the growing Death Star in front of her, frowning. Tapping her fingers on the thin material of her impeccable desk, she reflected she had to find a way to get rid of this and soon.

She shuddered through the heavy material of her dress, picturing the results of such a battle station in the hands of her husband.

Insistent beeping got through her reflection and she pushed a button on her console wearily. One of Anakin's aides appeared on her screen, apparently relieved she was the one answering the call.

"Your Highness, we have new information about the Jedi research."

Padmé swallowed, straightening in her seat.

"What is it?"

"As you instructed, we searched for the medical droids used in the Senate the night the Jedi broke into the Palace. We found several Senators who used some of them. But only one sent an encrypted message to demand a droid. It took us the whole day to decrypt it and find the sender."

The aide looked triumphant.

"Mon Mothma, the Chandrilan senator sent this encrypted message, asking one of her aides to bring her a medical droid immediately. And there is more. The night Kenobi broke into the Palace, she sent one of her handmaidens to get a private vehicle in the middle of the night. We also tracked her credits account. She arranged for an unknown pilot to take someone out of Coruscant."

Padmé sighed and waved the aide away, ending the transmission. The man looked disappointed she hadn't praised his efforts but she couldn't care less. Holding her head in her hands, she bit her lip very hard.

Exactly as she feared.

Mon Mothma was involved with Obi-Wan's flight.

But now there was nothing she could do to protect her from Anakin's wrath.

And above all the Empire's wrath.

Mon Mothma was doomed. If she had been able to save Bail, because she was involved herself, she couldn't help Mon unless…

The Senator cooperated and told her Obi-Wan's location.

Unlikely but this was the Senator's only hope.

Rough tears stung Padmé's eyes and for the first time, she actually worried about what could happen to Obi-Wan now Anakin was closer to finding him.

Even though she was afraid of him attempting something else while she was so close to fixing everything that needed fixing.

This morning she had enacted a law decreasing the power of governors to increase those of the Senators. The day before, she had signed the treaty bringing peace between two planets in the Outer Rim, efficiently taking clonetroopers out of the system.

This was small progress but this was progress nonetheless.

And soon she would be able to decrease the credits for the clone army.

And Anakin didn't feel that obsessed with the Empire extension anymore. Padmé rubbed her eyes, exhausted. It was high time for her to go home now.

* * *

"You look tired," commented Anakin right as she came back and leading her to their quarters. "The twins are asleep," he said and for once, he looked like he was in a lighter mood.

Padmé sighed.

He didn't know about Mon Mothma.

Untying her hair wearily as they walked down the corridors, she decided it could wait for tomorrow.

In their bed that night, Padmé slept badly, tossing and moaning.

_There was blood on her hands, seeping from her fingers, falling to the ground._

_She could see her own face, blank and dead…_

When she woke up the next morning very early, she realized Anakin was no longer in their bed.

She passed by the twin's room drowsily, dropping a kiss on Luke's blond hair and caressing Leia's forehead softly.

She found her husband in the holoconference room.

"You knew?" he asked without preamble as she walked through the doorway. His face was stony, his eyes empty.

She felt a pang. It had been a long time since he felt this distant.

"Yes, I did," she said wearily, her voice still rough with sleep.

"Why didn't you tell me about Mothma then?" he asked tightly.

Even in the distance, his blue eyes looked like ice.

"Because I was tired and all I wanted was to crawl into the bed. I wanted to tell you today."

"No need now," Anakin said sarcastically, rising from his seat and going past her to his former adjoining bedroom.

"I'm going to see to that myself," he said darkly.

Padmé instantly pictured Mon's torture in her mind and shook her head wildly.

"No! Let me do this."

Anakin turned around, crossing his arms.

"Why? Do you intent to spare her life _too_?"

The _too_ wasn't lost on her and she thought of Bail, tortured and threatened because of her. The memory of Anakin's yellow eyes piercing her came back too and a cold voice demanding she did anything he asked…

"I will lead her interrogation," Padmé said quietly. "I will convince her to talk. If she doesn't admit anything, then… you will have it your way," she whispered almost inaudibly.

"She won't talk. Like all those traitors she holds principles above people's lives," Anakin said with a hint of scorn.

Padmé shivered and hugged herself.

How had it all come to this?

Mon Mothma, her former ally, almost a friend _before_?

Now she was an enemy and Padmé was running out of options to save her life.

"I will do my best, Anakin. But _please_ let me try."

She pleaded to him with her eyes. He looked away and she knew she had won.

"Fine," he whispered. "But she won't escape her fate. I already suspected her of treason and now it is evident she helped a Jedi, _Kenobi_, no less. I hope we'll make her execution public," he said darkly before leaving the room, leaving her dumbfounded.

Padmé closed her eyes tightly. She hated it when he was like this. She had forgotten what it was like, what _Anakin_ was like when the dark side came back all over again.

A nasty voice whispered in her mind.

_The dark side will never leave him…_

Rubbing her eyes wearily, Padmé sighed and followed her husband out of the door.


	29. Chapter 22

Hello everyone! Thanks so much for following and your lovely reviews as always!

* * *

**Chapter 22**

The young woman brushed dark tendrils of hair out of her face as she watched the agitated night skyline of Coruscant.

Sighing deeply, she walked away from the window and sat down on her small bed, her eyes lost in the distance. Her long black hair came over her face as she breathed heavily.

Sometimes she wondered how she had come to this.

How _everything_ had come to all this.

Politics had never felt attractive to her when she was young. It all seemed to revolve around power while she always thought of herself as a rebel, someone defying the rules and not heeding to anyone's orders. She was a free woman, no matter what.

Politics had always felt so boring.

Too many numbers and sterile debates while people were dying in far away worlds. There had been corruption, a plague invading the Senate and its committees.

For all these reasons and more, she had always loathed politics.

Then someone had come.

Someone who made everything truthful and honest. Someone who believed in whatever she said and had been determined to bring real democracy back.

That someone had made her believe in politics again.

That things could change for the best in this sad galaxy.

She had believed in her and trusted this someone.

And she had been fooled like everyone else.

The betrayal had changed everything. She had noticed the changes around her, the fear in people's eyes, _clonetroopers everywhere. _

She had felt it coming before everyone else anyway.

While people claimed Palpatine would save them she had seen right through the old man's scheme. She had known then he only cared about power… When the Empire was declared, she remembered feeling an atrocious loss deep in her stomach.

It was all so horrible to feel everything coming, to see the ship wreck before everyone else and be powerless to stop it.

Sometimes it had driven her mad to witness people's idiocy.

And now they all had to pay the consequences.

Oddly enough she felt stronger than before to fight the dictatorship and all this injustice making her want to scream in despair.

Now she wasn't afraid of anything happening to her. Now she could give herself over to her ideals.

Because she had nothing left to lose.

All thanks to Vader, the man she loathed most in this galaxy.

She had watched on as her parents were killed before her for trying to hide a Force sensitive child.

They had kept her alive so she could spread the fear.

She had refused this and she would fight this parody of government and everyone composing it till her death.

The young woman smiled sadly.

She and her companions knew who they had to get rid of for the galaxy first to start breathing again even though they wouldn't probably be there to see it.

The woman she had once admired.

The woman who disgusted her now.

Padmé Amidala.

The Empress herself.

The brains behind Vader. The young woman was sure of it. The whole system would crumble without her.

Once she was dead, the whole galaxy maybe could wake up.

Maybe.

* * *

Deep breath.

It wasn't working.

Another one.

She had to do this.

_No._

She had no other choice.

Empress Vader's stony face was firm when she called one of her aides. Giving instructions, she watched as the young woman rushed to exit the room and perform her task. Turning her seat to the Coruscant traffic, she heaved a sigh. The office was big but silent, elegant but cold. Datapads lay on her desk precariously but she didn't pay attention to it. She concentrated on the traffic outside, trying to gather her thoughts to no avail. On the glass, her reflection seemed cold and distant.

She barely recognized the austere woman looking back at her.

The brown eyes seemed accusing in their silence.

A sound stopped her thoughts abruptly and she winced.

The door opened.

Padmé didn't move from her seat.

Footsteps, light and assured. Her aide bowing on the glass' reflection and leaving.

The young Empress studied the young woman's reflection on her glass. The Senator looked self-assured. Padmé knew from experience that Mothma wouldn't look that way long.

The Empress' seat whirled around as she confronted her once fellow Senator.

"Your Highness."

Just a hint of sarcasm in the young Senator's voice.

The woman despised her.

Padmé briefly thought she couldn't blame her.

She had once stood in that Senator's position and thought she could change things.

_How naïve._

"Please take a seat, Senator Mothma," the Empress gestured, her voice cold and regal.

Mon Mothma sat down as elegantly as she always did, her incisive gaze never leaving her face.

_As if it could move her._

"I assume you know why I asked you to come here, Senator."

The red-haired woman's face didn't betray anything.

_A worthy opponent_, Padmé reflected.

She couldn't help the pang in her chest at the realization everything had really gone wrong.

"I am afraid I do not know, Your Highness," the Senator responded.

"Mon…" Padmé said softly. The Senator stiffened visibly at her use of informal speech. "You helped Obi-Wan Kenobi escape the planet. I know it, my spies know it. There is no need to deny anything."

Mon's eyes had never looked so cold than in this precise moment.

Padmé shivered though she could feel the rays of sunlight on her dark dress.

"I'm afraid I do not know what you're talking about, Your Highness."

Padmé shook her head impatiently.

"I can help you. You won't have to face trial if only you tell me where Obi-Wan hides."

"I didn't help-"

"Now this is enough." Padmé could feel her patience wearing thin. "All evidence point out to you and you know it. Did you really believe you could defy the Empire and get away with it? Obi-Wan Kenobi is dangerous and you are his accomplice!"

For a short moment, she actually stopped and heard herself.

The words tasted bitter on her lips.

_She sounded like an Empress should._

But she had never before meant the words.

The shiver amplified on her back.

_I have no choice._

For she knew that if Anakin conducted the interrogation, Mon Mothma would no longer live…

Mon's eyes turned to the glass absent-mindedly.

"You have no evidence I helped this man."

Padmé took the datapads and put them right before Mon's ivory hands.

At this moment, she knew she would find out if Mon Mothma was the brave leader she was said to be.

"Tell me where Obi-Wan is and I will make sure this information is taken care of."

Mon Mothma chuckled. The look in her eyes was pure scorn.

"I will never tell you anything. Now lead me to the prison that will probably wait for me anyway."

Padmé leant against her desk, trying to plead to the other woman with her eyes.

"You have my word you will be released. Think of other matters…"

Her last card.

"Think of the Alliance."

It was the first time Padmé saw surprise and disbelief in the other woman's eyes.

"Your word doesn't mean a thing to me", she said very softly. Padmé felt a pang in the stomach. "If you knew me even a little, _Your Highness_, you would know I would never betray anyone."

"Then let me help you with the Alliance…" Padmé tried out desperately. "I cannot do anything for you with all this evidence. I can plead for your life but-"

Mon Mothma's eyes turned to ice.

"You have no right to talk about the Alliance", she uttered through clenched teeth. "You have betrayed us all. I know this is another of your ruses. Obi-Wan Kenobi is far away from you and if there can be one Jedi spared by all this madness then I am proud I helped him."

She stood up regally.

Padmé looked up at her once fellow Senator. A part of her was ashamed and admired the courage of this young woman.

The other part of her was annoyed.

She didn't understand. She didn't want to understand anything. She was being offered help by the Empress herself and she was casting it all away.

Better prison and a semblance of trial than Anakin's advice to the court that she be executed.

Right now, Padmé couldn't do anything else for her. This time there was really no other choice.

Empress Vader stood. A single button pressed and guards came inside her room. She watched the scene with dead eyes as the guards put electronic binders around the woman's frail wrists.

"Senator Mothma, you are charged with High treason", she uttered mechanically. "You will be judged by the High Court of Justice in the following days. Your Senate functions are suspended immediately."

Mon Mothma didn't even spare her a glance as she was led away.

When the last of her aides had left the room, Padmé Skywalker slid into her empty seat.

A tear made its way down her cheek silently as the unbearable weight of her responsibilities suddenly rested on her shoulders, making her suffocate.

Behind her, the Coruscant traffic went on, unperturbed.

* * *

The Palace was so calm when she came back home.

Padmé stayed in the doorway of her children's room, watching the quiet small forms quietly. Luke turned in his sleep, his little hand agitated in the air then falling down as he quieted down.

Leia was calm for once, lost in her dreams.

_How long had it been since she spent some time with her own children?_

When she entered her own quarters, always so sober and elegant, she barely heard Motée asking her if she wanted something to eat.

She let Dormé put her hair down, helping her to get out of her heavy dark dress. She watched the garment with unseeing eyes, barely felt the slight goodbye from her handmaiden who was going to her own room. Her fingers felt rough as she pulled on her nightgown, the material sliding on her body. She went by the mirror in her dressing room, not casting a glance to her reflection.

_Afraid of what she could see._

When she reached her bedroom, she wasn't even surprised to see Anakin sitting in an armchair near the window, waiting for her.

He didn't look her way even as she stopped in the doorway.

"How did it go?" he asked quietly.

She bit her lip.

She really didn't want to talk about this. Not right now. And certainly not with him.

He interpreted her silence easily.

"She didn't talk, right?"

His eyes were still resting on the muted traffic outside.

Padmé heaved a sigh and came closer to her husband. She had no idea how to do this but she needed time. Time to come up with some answers. Time to save Mothma's life.

"No, but she will."

Anakin looked at her then. His face was a mask. His eyes weren't cold but his expression told her everything she needed to know.

"Yes, she will," he agreed calmly. Pause. He breathed out. "Very soon."

He got up and went past her before she could utter a word.

She followed him out of their bedroom quickly.

"Anakin, please, I need more time!"

He stopped and turned towards her.

"She won't talk, Padmé. Not to you, not to anyone. Anyone but me."

She gulped. "I don't want you to do that-"

"We had a deal." He said and he sounded on the verge of losing patience. "You have my word she won't die."

That was all he said.

All he said before he disappeared into the darkness, leaving her alone in her quarters.

She blinked back tears, feeling very cold suddenly.

It was only minutes later that she noticed she hadn't made a move to stop him.

A little voice spoke in her mind, very softly.

_There is no other way…. _

* * *

The door slid open.

Padmé woke up, disorientated, her mind still filled with _yellow and lightening and screams_... A tall figure came into the room as she expected. Somehow she had known Anakin would come straight into his quarters after _that_. He would tell her he needed some time alone. Tell her, in his own way, he was afraid of hurting her after spending the night torturing another person.

But she needed answers.

He wouldn't look her in the eye. She knew he was probably having his yellow eyes again. How long had it been since he used the dark side? She wondered suddenly.

"Please, go back to your room..." he whispered, turning away from her as he stripped off his cloak. His movements were slow. He looked weary.

"How did it go?" she asked, trying to sound neutral but failing miserably.

"She's alive."

Padmé took a deep breath, trying not to think of Mon Mothma's state, trying not to think of her own responsibility in this.

"What did she say?"

Anakin looked at her then. His yellow eyes were shining in the darkness and she fought against a shiver. But he looked away again as he spoke.

"She knew nothing. Only tidbits about Obi-Wan's journey. But nothing about his location."

Silence.

She heard her own voice, as if she wasn't the one talking.

"We did all this for nothing… You tortured her for nothing…"

"She'll be executed anyway."

Her hand moved out of her own accord as he turned away from her once more.

"No." He voice was cold. Deep within her, she was feeling rage and anger slowly rising.  
"She won't be executed."

Anakin looked at her, surprised she was defying his decision.

"We have to show no mercy to traitors. The people-"

"The people won't know! "She replied through clenched teeth. "There'll be no trial. She'll just be sent to jail."

"We can't do that. She's a Senator, a well-known one at that. People will wonder where she has disappeared."

"We'll give an official answer", she replied calmly. "A secret mission she was awarded. Her fellows will probably read through the lines but the people will not."

He looked at her as if he was seeing her for the first time. For a split second, she felt afraid of the way he was looking at her. But the urgency forced her to forget about that look and what it meant.

Mon Mothma's life was at stake. After all they both had made her go through, she would try to protect her from Anakin's wrath.

She owed her that.

"We haven't informed the press about her arrest," she went on as Anakin stayed silent. "We are the only ones who can decide for now. If she's executed in public", she came closer, her eyes boring into his, "then everyone will know a Jedi breached into our security… Everyone will know Obi-Wan Kenobi is still alive… We can't afford that weakness."

He looked down.

_Almost too easy_… she reflected briefly.

"How long?" he only asked.

"How long what?" she asked, confused.

"How long will she stay in jail?" He explained wearily.

"As long as we need…" Padmé only replied.

_As long as there's still an Empire, which I hope will change soon…_

She swallowed uneasily, trying to gauge his reaction.

He exhaled roughly.

"You are probably right… Some things are better left hidden from the people."

She didn't like the look on his face as he came closer. As if he was scrutinizing her.

She didn't like the fact he wasn't considering her offer.

"She deserved it, Padmé. She had a choice and she knew what was coming for her. She _chose_ not to say anything."

He sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

Perhaps a hint of remorse? She searched for an answer in those blue eyes but couldn't find it.

Then he reached for her and she let herself fall into his embrace, wishing she could forget this day and all it entailed.

Anakin rested his chin on top of her head quietly.

It occurred to her a little while later as she tried to sleep in vain that she hadn't felt bothered by Anakin's hands on her, even knowing what he did.

An uneasy feeling was worming its way within her.

Padmé squashed it firmly.

There was no time for doubts and… guilt…

There were so many things to do to fix everything.

She wouldn't stop now.


	30. Chapter 23

And here's the next chapter! Enjoy!

**

* * *

Chapter 23 **

"We must do more."

The sentence rang in the deathly silence.

The youths looked at each other in the dimly lit room; no one wanted to answer the silent question.

A figure moved out of the darkness towards the light in the center of the room. The brightness only creased the young dark-haired woman's hollow features.

"I agree. We must take action now."

A small squeak. At least one person clearly still something to fear. "We should organize another demonstration… we can influence the opinion… we can-"

"They killed many of our peers during this demonstration," the young woman replied tersely. "We must do something, now, something meaningful. Even if that something means sacrificing our lives."

The man who had initially spoken joined her in the center of the room.

"We should join the Alliance, then-"

The dark-haired woman shook her head forcefully.

"They won't agree with us. And besides… Everyone knows Mothma was arrested, maybe executed since. Their power is nonexistent."

"Patience-" The man tried.

"There'll be no patience," the woman retorted. "I won't stand by any longer! Now we need to cut off the head of the Empire. The brains."

There was a vicious glint in her eyes as she turned to her comrades.

"Amidala. We need to find a weakness in the security and we'll exploit it. Once she's dead, it'll only be a matter of time before the Empire crumbles down."

Deathly silence followed this.

The woman took a deep breath and looked into the young man's eyes before turning towards her comrades again.

"Who's with us?"

* * *

"Everything became a lot more complicated…"

Bail Organa sighed deeply and turned back to the holo projection in front of him.

"With Mon gone, we lost some credibility towards the most violent side of the resistance. We're still not united. Besides, I am stuck here with no real contact to the outside, always looking behind my shoulders for any spies. I know Vader keep some of them on Alderaan all the time."

The connection flickered slightly.

The Senator's face darkened.

"Are you sure this connection is secure?"

The Jedi nodded.

"It is," the Master replied with his distinctive Coruscanti accent.

Bail instantly refocused on the conversation.

"Master Kenobi, we need your help, now more than ever."

On the other end of the galaxy, the Jedi looked hesitant.

"I have to admit it to you, I am quite confused," Obi-Wan replied. "I have some… information, and now…" A sigh. "Now… I doubt."

"There is a group of Jedi…. Those who survived the massacre, they are progressively reuniting with the Alliance's help. They are trying to gather to protect themselves, to survive."

That was all Bail Organa said.

That was all that needed to be said and both men knew it.

Obi-Wan Kenobi shut down the connection wearily.

All along he had known the day would come.

The day when he would truly realize how many Jedi had been slaughtered by Vader….

-_Anakin_-

…how many were still dying now, while he and Master Yoda were hiding…

And all this had brought them nothing.

Obi-Wan had been glad to hear Qui-Gon one more time, to feel some sort of guidance but what had it really brought to him?

_Nothing_.

He still couldn't believe Anakin could turn back from the dark side and destroy himself, the dark side, the Empire- _he didn't know anymore what was needed to bring balance to the Force_- if this Prophecy was still worth believing in…

All he knew now was that Jedi needed him.

Master Yoda didn't look surprised when he told him of his departure. He watched him pack silently, like the last time, when he rushed in to save Bail Organa's life. Only wished the Force to be with him, looking sad and pensive.

Obi-Wan left Dagobah for what he knew was the last time.

For he knew now that helping the Jedi probably meant confronting Anakin again, in a not so far future.

* * *

Padmé Skywalker rested her forehead against her joined hands and sighed heavily.

Exactly like she had feared.

Two weeks had passed and Mon's family was still wondering, not accepting the official version, demanding to see their daughter, sister and so much more.

She stared at an invisible point in the distance, wondering how she could get out of this mess.

And there was the demonstration before the Senate two days ago…

A demonstration violently repressed before she even caught wind of its existence…

She shook her head, rubbing her temples and refocusing on Mon Mothma's fate.

_Later_.

More power to the Senators, power _she_ herself had given them back, meant they could form a commission and demand information about their colleague. She had heard rumors about it, thanks to her spies and she had to act fast if she wanted to save her former fellow Senator's life.

But everywhere she looked, she could only see the law was clear. The only sentence was death whenever high treason was involved.

If only she had been there sooner, she would have changed Anakin's mind, would have deterred him from writing such absurd law…

The solution came abruptly, and her eyes stared now at her own beeping datapad.

But she could _now_.

She had complete power over law now. She could change the sentence today and make Mon's arrest public right afterwards. All she had to do was change the sentence in Mon's precise case, she had to write it very specifically.

Padmé felt a slow smile grow on her face.

Writing things from a certain point of view had become her specialty when she had been under Anakin's constitutional authority.

She could do it again.

Making the amendment pass had been so easy Padmé had had to refrain from showing the shock on her face. It had been stuck between other amendments, other laws and countless decrees and no one had seemed to notice the isolated line mentioning the new choice offered to the magistrates between death and life prison sentence for accomplices of Jedi when said accomplices only provided a way to escape….

Mon Mothma's arrest was made as discreet as they could and the trial happened fast.

One holocall to the high judges had been enough.

The former Senator was sentenced to life imprisonment in the highest security detention center of Coruscant.

"Leave us alone."

The order issued left no place for discussion.

The red guards left quietly, leaving the Empress alone with the young inmate in the dimly lit room.

Padmé took a deep breath before looking her friend in the eye.

"I did my best…" she whispered. "I changed your sentence to life imprisonment."

There was a long silence. Padmé was trying her best not to look too closely at the former Senator in front of her. But trying all she might, she could still spot the bruises on her arms, the deep rings under the red-haired's eyes and most of all… the deep hatred shining in the blue eyes.

"Do you really think I am going to thank you for this?"

Padmé swallowed, blinking and trying to gulp down the feeling of shame engraved inside of her.

"You did commit an offense. You knew what you exposed yourself to when you helped Obi-Wan Kenobi," she heard herself reply coldly.

"I wouldn't have needed to, had your husband not slaughtered innocent people to ensure his power. _Your_ power."

The picture of ivory towers smoking in the distance came back forcefully but Padmé chased the image away roughly.

_Not now_.

"I am sorry, Mon. I really am. But I'm only doing what's best for the galaxy; you have to understand that… The Alliance and I are aiming for the same goals, we are going in the same direction-"

"Do not speak of the Alliance again," Mon Mothma said with barely refrained contempt. "You are disgusting."

The now frail woman leaned closer and those hate-filled blue eyes made the young Empress shiver. .

"You and your husband will pay for all this bloodshed. One day… you will pay."

* * *

Padmé came back home to find her most trusted handmaiden bathing her children.

Jealousy flared up inside her as she watched Luke and Leia respond to Dormé warmly, cooing and giggling up at her. A sudden impulse made her want to rip her precious children out of the other woman's hands. Before she could act on the dark feeling erupting inside of her, she turned her back to her own quarters and joined Anakin's swiftly.

She found him in his conference room, still clad in her Imperial regal robes. A dark smile on his face, he turned towards her as he waved his aides away, looking triumphant.

Instinctively, she guessed before he even uttered a word.

"They may have found Obi-Wan. A connection between him and Organa was captured. It will take them time to find its origin for the connection was highly encrypted but they will. They have no other choice but to find it anyway. His second real mistake," he added, the dark smile broadening. "And this time, there shall be no mercy."

The words washed over Padmé with cold indifference. She was too exhausted and pained to care about Obi-Wan now.

"What will happen to Organa?" she asked wearily.

Anakin shrugged.

"We're not arresting him for now. He could prove useful if we cannot find Kenobi's location."

Silence.

Padmé looked away, rubbing her temples.

She didn't want to think of Bail now. It almost felt like…

…she just couldn't help anyone at the end of the day.

"You are going to leave again, then?" she whispered.

Only then did Anakin seem to really look at her.

"Is everything alright?" he asked as he stood up, coming closer to her.

She shook her head, fighting the tears that had come up unexpectedly. But as soon as he stood at arms length she turned to him, and pressed her face against his dark tunic, breathing in and exhaling shakily.

The tears did nothing to alleviate the pain though. Even his arms around her didn't change anything. She got closer, buried her face against his chest, tried to escape the world and reality. But she could only see Mon Mothma's haunted eyes resting on hers, condemning in their silence.

To her relief, Anakin didn't ask anything.

"You should get away from everything," he whispered. "Rest, stay with the twins more, you barely see-"

Her inane anger with Dormé came back with insistence and her mouth tightened against his tunic.

"No," she said firmly.

_There were still so many things to fix… So many laws to vote or rather make vote… so many people to help, counting on her…._

Then she thought of Anakin leaving again, probably soon and tilted her head back, grasping his face and lowering his mouth to hers.

"Make me forget…" she whispered against his lips.

Padmé woke up, disorientated, feeling extremely exhausted. Again, the same visions had plagued her, stopping her from truly resting.

Rubbing her eyes, she stood up numbly, took on a robe and shivered, wrapping herself deeper into the outfit. Her fingers found the light console in her silent office. Her eyes rested on her desk covered with datapads. Almost mechanically, she sat down in her chair, took hold of them.

She was exhausted, fingers feeling heavy, her head throbbing deeply.

She couldn't sleep.

She didn't want to think too much.

Her fingers moved by themselves and she found herself reading reports like a droid.

Time passed by, not touching her as her brains methodically processed the information.

Padmé felt like nothing could reach her there.

* * *

_"You have to choose."_

_The sentence rang in his ears, incoherent._

_Padmé came out of the darkness, pale, still so pale, her hand holding a girl's._

_"Choose, Anakin."_

_He blinked, not understanding._

_The scenery changed suddenly, blurry and then clear._

_He was standing on a cliff, the air hot on his skin, lava brewing deep down, the blood pumping in his veins._

_Padmé was right there, at his feet, her fingers hanging by the rough ground, ready to plunge down into the lava below. Beside her, small fingers gripped the same ground hard, the girl's cheeks wet with tears as she trembled with fear._

_The ground was shaking, ready to crumble down._

_He could only save one of them._

_He was paralyzed, unable to move as he watched on, horrified as the girl he somehow knew was Leia, called out to him in fear._

_Padmé's eyes were inscrutable as her hands became slippery and she started slipping down._

_He reached out a weak hand to her._

_She shook her head._

_"Make the right choice."_

_He couldn't. He just couldn't choose…_

_He reached out two hands. He could do it. He could save them both. He could!_

_His daughter gripped his hand like a lifeline; Padmé's was weak in his._

_"Let go, Anakin," she said gently._

_He shook his head._

_But the ground crumbled this time._

_Instinctively, he let go of Padmé's hand and reached Leia, saving her from the collapse. The girl trembled in his arms._

_Padmé fell down below as he sheltered his daughter._

_Agony._

_Deep agony seized him and he felt himself suffocating._

_He couldn't breathe…_

_Breathe…_

_Couldn't…_

Breathe.

Anakin coughed, sitting up in the darkness, his hands reaching out to touch his throat, as he gulped air.

He put his head in his hands, trembling.  
_  
Vision, nightmare?_

Instinctively, his mechanical hand reached out on his right to feel his wife's body.

He met air.

Padmé was gone.

He found her in her office, head lying on her arm as she slept on her desk, visibly exhausted. One holo was still turned on before her. He recognized the Death star immediately.

He knelt before his wife and exhaled shakily.

His flesh fingers caressed her hair gently. She didn't move. Overcome by his emotions, he simply put his face into her hair, breathing deeply, his arms circling her still form.

_Still there… for how long?_

He closed his eyes against the tears and tried to get even closer.

Padmé nuzzled against his neck and turned in his embrace, still sleeping.

Very gently, he took her in his arms, carrying her to their bedroom.

He couldn't help the thought that she felt very fragile in his arms.

_You will lose her soon._

Anakin bit his lower lip and chased the voice away.

He couldn't stop the shiver on his back though.


	31. Chapter 24

Hello everyone! Here's the new chapter. Thanks for your support and reading this story. Someone asked if this would end in tragedy. All I can say is I can't promise a happy ending. I think the canon story ends well but leaves us with a kind of bittersweet impression. Enjoy!

Oh and last but not least, happy new year!

**

* * *

Chapter 24**

Sometimes…

-_when he was coherent enough_-

-Anakin would try to understand how the dark side worked. He would think of it, of every action, he would _make_ himself remember every detail, every act. When he was alone, he would go through his memories… move and twirl all the somber thoughts through his mind relentlessly. He would watch his Empire go through the motions outside, from one window of his Palace, and he would think of everything…

_Looking back…_

_Always looking back…_

In those times, he would begin to feel and _see_ the iron covering his heart. He would feel the claws of this _thing_ around him.

It hurt.

He hated the feeling and… yearned for it. It helped him remember.

Remembering wasn't easy. It wasn't anything remotely close to what he had once experienced with the Tuskens.

Everything was torment, every single memory was pounding inside his brains, branded in his skull. Conflict would start then. Between those two voices, those two parts of himself showing him everything. There was so much pain and instantly the feeling, compensating, relieving, that what he had done was right, that he had had no other choice – _and hadn't it saved Padmé?_- and the galaxy was so much better now -_wasn't it?_-

Sometimes…

He would hear his mother's voice, excruciating in his mind, -_and Force, he wanted to forget what she sounded like because all he could hear was her dying voice in his head, echoing, driving him mad-_

_"I'm so proud of you…"_

- and he would remember everything she taught him, alone, on her own, because she had had no other choice either, and all those principles and values that made him Anakin, her son…

- _how does she see you now? She wouldn't bear to look at you in the eye…  
_

Our acts made us what we were.

_What are you going to teach your own children?_

On the other side, he knew, he _absolutely_ knew, that the galaxy was better now, that he had done what had to be done at the time. His children would be proud of him. No more corruption. No more slavery now. Padmé at the head of everything, making everything right. And soon he would be out there, on the field-

_-killing children-_

-strengthening the Empire so there would be peace and order. At last.

With Mothma behind the bars, this small rebellion would crumble down, leaving nothing in its wake. The people revered him and Padmé. They were heroes, saviors.

The whole galaxy owed them.

What he did was right. Because he was a good person, wasn't he? And all he was doing was for the people, for the galaxy, for Padmé. For their children.

Everything.

_Killing children isn't right. You're irredeemable. Evil. Like Palpatine._

_Evil…_

Padmé wouldn't stay with him, if he was…

Padmé knew, was the judge. He would know, just by looking at her face, if what he was doing was right or wrong.

_And yet…_

There was something _changed_ about her.

Sometimes…

He barely recognized her.

And Padmé strangely agreed with him lately.

Sometimes…

It felt like she was more distant than ever. She would bury herself in piles of work, away from him and their family… like before. She would become undecipherable again and unreachable. There was nothing he could do to help her, he didn't even know if she wanted him to help.

So much that at times, he felt like he was back in the time of her coma. He felt the loneliness of those times. He felt the same worry about her that had plagued him then.

Because the visions now only left him confused.

The thought of losing Padmé was still unbearable.

* * *

Hiding from the world – and himself- was relieving.

Luke's blue eyes rested on him as the young boy smiled. Those eyes were too innocent, Anakin thought. He felt the growing weight of his son against his chest as he sat in the garden, sunlight streaming down on him. He could feel Leia's presence a little bit away from them, as Dormé played with the little girl in the garden.

Just him and his son.

Alone, away from the world.

He missed action and war and everything it entailed, like the soft comfort of darkness and not looking back because there was no time for that… but here, now, with his children to ground him, everything felt almost… _peaceful_.

He caressed the blond hair with his glove, the warm form against him feeling very fragile.

Luke was so quiet, he reflected. Always serene. Calm in his arms, in any circumstance.

Too innocent.

It made him want to protect Luke from everything. When those innocent eyes settled on his quietly, it made him want to shelter him from the darkness.

When he caressed his son's hair, he would forget he had just ordered torture for all the Rebels who might have had helped Obi-Wan escape. He would forget about Obi-Wan, so far away and yet so near somehow, now his spies had finally some clue on his hiding place.

His remaining obsession.

Luke counted on his father to keep him safe.

Anakin breathed in his safe baby scent and knew he would never ever let any Jedi approach him and corrupt him.

Never.

The boy was getting agitated. Sighing regretfully, Anakin placed Luke on the floor where the boy took shaky steps.

He smiled.

The smile turned into something sour abruptly.

Another thing Padmé was missing.

Just like she barely knew her own daughter knew how to walk for a few weeks already.

Luke's eyes watched him silently then he giggled and claimed his arms again.

Now he knew what was right.

Protecting his family had always been _right_.

And soon…

Very soon…

Obi-Wan Kenobi would be dead.

* * *

The Death Star.

How exactly could she get rid of this efficiently… and quietly?

_  
Credits, maybe…_

They were dwindling down dangerously lately with the huge cost the wars – and Obi-Wan's search - represented, Padmé reflected. Soon enough, there would be no money to sustain the health programs she had helped set up on various planets. She needed to talk about this with Anakin or he'd feel rejected and might grow suspicious.

No way would she let him wreck everything she had worked so hard for, the young Empress suddenly realized. She would make him see her way.

She had already succeeded with Mon Mothma after all and on many other occasions.

_Mon Mothma…_

The same wave of guilt engulfed her abruptly and she forced her thoughts elsewhere.

_Not now…_

Insistent beeping distracted her thankfully.

"What is it?" she almost snapped at the handmaiden entering her office.

For a short moment, the young woman looked distraught before recollecting herself thankfully.

"Your sister wishes to speak to you."

With a bow, the handmaiden left Padmé to answer the holo call.

Sighing nervously, the young woman pushed on the button to be confronted to the face of her dear sister. She felt a genuine smile grow on her face.

"Sola! What a good surprise!"

But to her dismay, her sister's face remained impassive.

"How are you?" Sola asked almost coldly.

"Fine, thank you. You?" Padmé responded softly, feeling the smile disappearing from her face progressively.

"Everything's fine at home. I- " A sigh. Her sister looking away briefly. Then back at her, with sad eyes that went right through Padmé's heart. "Why don't you come back home? You haven't been here in so long… I think there are a lot of things we need to talk about. A lot of things you have to explain," she added with a pointed look. "And I would like to meet my nephew and niece," she said a little bit more softly.

Padmé bit her lip. "I bet this is Mom's idea…"

Sola smiled reluctantly. "It is. She even managed to convince Dad to accept your husband here."

Padmé smiled sadly this time. "I'll talk to Anakin about it and-"

"You need to talk to your husband before agreeing to come see your family?" Sola shot back and she looked almost angry.

Padmé sighed. If only she knew how everything was complicated when it came to Anakin, how it felt like yesterday when she was afraid of her own husband's reactions… And if he were to leave soon… she wouldn't be able to convince him to let her leave on a far away planet with their children.

Sola's tone changed as she witnessed the preoccupied look on her sister's face.

"Padmé… You know you can tell us everything. If he forces you to do that, if he treats you badly, we'll help, we'll do anything-"

"It's alright, really," she assured her sister. "I'll be there soon."

Somehow, she would have to find a way to convince Anakin.

But later, now wasn't the time to have another confrontation.

_Not right now..._ she reflected, feeling the now ever present headache filling her steadily.

* * *

Everywhere was quiet when Padmé returned home.

Only Motée welcomed her in her quarters and she frowned, undressing silently in the sudden coldness of her room.

The frown turned into annoyance when she realized Anakin wasn't in their bedroom, waiting for her as he almost always did.

She hadn't realized how much she longed for his presence until she came back home.  
Putting a robe on her elaborate nightgown, she made her way towards her children's room.

The door was open.

She heard little giggles and Anakin's well-known chuckle and she smiled genuinely. Time with her family would make the coldness melt away. As usual.

Then she heard another laughter.

She froze in the doorway.

A well-known laughter as well.

Her hand reached the Force field console mechanically and deactivated the protection.

The sound made the chatter and laughter die away as the two adults in the room turned towards her.

"Milady…" Dormé stood from where she was sitting beside Anakin on the floor, playing with the twins. Her handmaiden was still talking to her and Anakin smiled when he spotted her but she couldn't register any of that.

The now familiar feeling grew inside of her, steadily, making everything else disappear.

"Out," she interrupted her handmaiden roughly.

Padmé didn't look at Dormé in the eye as she ordered her out of the room of her children. Her mind didn't register the crestfallen look of her handmaiden as she left nor did it register Anakin's frown. She shot a cold look at her husband and simply turned away.

She was seething and she couldn't be coherent.

Not right now.

She barely realized she had ended up in her office, opening data disks - _as usual, when everything crumbled down around her_- when Anakin appeared in the doorway.

"What was this?" he asked with no preamble.

She really had no desire to talk to him right now. She could still feel jealousy and something else curl in the pit of her stomach.

"Go to sleep, I'll join you later," she said coldly, still reading her datas.

"Do you really think you can order me around like Dormé?" Anakin shot back rather unpleasantly.

Padmé looked up from her work and the feeling erupted from her, abruptly, surprising even her.

Her voice sounded cold even to her own ears.

"I work all day long, all the time, and she takes _my_ place when I'm gone…" she uttered through clenched teeth. "It's not the first time I find her doing this. She does it all the time. She's taking _my_ place as a mother, maybe even _my_ place as a _wife_!"

Anakin looked at her, shock edging on his features.

"How can you even-"

"I don't know what was happening while I was in a coma for those _long_ months-"

A loud sound snapped her out of the growing rage inside of her.

Anakin had hit her desk with his gloved fist.

"Enough!" he growled. He took a few deep breaths and she realized that somehow she needed some time to gather her own thoughts too. Unbeknownst to her, the feelings...the suspicions had been growing inside of her and they had become familiar …

When he spoke again, Anakin's voice was low and intense. "I have only loved you. My _whole_ life".

She looked away from him. She just couldn't look at him right now.

"Have you forgotten everything I've done for you?"

She found she couldn't answer. Her throat was too constricted. She shut her eyes tightly.

His next words would hurt more than anything else.

"Dormé may be taking your place as a mother; you're right," he whispered. "But that's because you spend all your time outside and you barely see your own children when you come back home."

Her eyes snapped open.

"How can you-" she stammered. "That is unfair! I'm doing this for the galaxy! Do you think I enjoy this? I'd rather be with them, I'd-"

"Really?" he snapped.

His blue eyes bore into hers silently, accusingly.

"We both know you love what you're doing. Politics have always been more important to you than anything else, Padmé." His words slammed into her painfully, hurting more than the vision of him and Dormé laughing like they had no care in the world… "Instead of falling on Dormé who has always been nothing but faithful and helpful to you this whole time, you should have gotten interested in Luke and Leia and you'd have discovered a lot of things, like Luke walking for a few days already!"

His nostrils flared and he straightened up.

She wanted to tell him things she knew she'd regret; wanted to throw to his face that she wouldn't be away from her children if she hadn't needed to fix every evil thing he'd done in the galaxy; that she wouldn't have been missing six months of their lives, of _her_ life, hadn't he almost killed her then, so long ago now; that she wouldn't be stuck in this position she loathed if _he_ hadn't turned to the dark side, if he hadn't selfishly decided alone…

But the words stayed stuck in her throat for he looked at her a long while, as if he could read all those thoughts, _as if he could sense the sudden hatred surging inside of her_, before leaving the room abruptly.

Padmé felt her head fall into her joined hands, heard herself muffle a cry, feeling herself about to break down.

She trembled in the darkness, wiping her eyes angrily.

Somehow, as time passed and she stayed alone in her office, the truth of Anakin's words slammed into her repeatedly. Unbeknownst to her, they had grown apart –again- and now, she even ignored most of what was happening to her own children…

And yet…

She was doing this for them, for the galaxy. She couldn't give up now! Not now she had done all this work… Not now she could finally progress, without Anakin's watchful eye on her every movement… She couldn't stop now.

Duty mattered most.

_  
Even at the expense of your own children?_

* * *

She had searched for him everywhere.

In the sparring room, as the sound of her husband's ragging breaths filled the room and she watched him fight with droids, Padmé observed Anakin with sad eyes.

She knew he had felt her but that didn't stop him from sparring on.

After a while, he stopped abruptly and flopped on a bench, wiping his sweaty brow, still avoiding her eyes. Padmé took a deep breath and came closer to her husband.

Anakin looked up and into her eyes silently. She said nothing. A silent staring contest began. It didn't last long. At last he motioned for her to come closer. Sighing in relief, she quietly reflected she wouldn't even need to apologize.

Somewhere deep inside, a part of her reflected he couldn't stay angry with her for too long… Even when he was loaded with the dark side, she still held a hold on him.

"I miss you," he whispered, not looking at her and still breathing heavily. "The children miss you too, never doubt this…"

She looked down, wondering if he would accept her back into his arms again. After all, there had been much worse going on between them before… But somehow, it almost felt like Anakin had erected an invisible barrier between them all of a sudden.

_Or maybe she had…_

She was about to come closer when something struck her abruptly.

_Maybe…_

"What if… what if we got away for a while? Just you, me and the twins?"

He frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"I want to come back home on Naboo, see my family, _rest_."

A sigh.

"Only if the security-"

"Please, Anakin…" she whispered. "Remember it was only the two of us there when I was in danger. I don't need more security."

His gaze was troubled suddenly.

"What about Obi-Wan? What if I have to go and leave you alone there?" he only murmured.

Fear was naked in his eyes.

"Nothing will happen to them," she assured him, coming closer so she stood right in front of him. "Do not worry… We'll stay in the Palace, nothing will happen to them… Or me," she added when the blue eyes she knew so well scrutinized her in silence.

With a sigh, he closed his eyes and bent closer to her, resting his forehead against her belly. "Just the four of us, then?"

"And my family," she added quietly.

Relief flooded her as her husband only nodded against her.

_Everything would be alright, everything would get better there and between the four of them…_

But inside her, a little voice spoke as Anakin sighed again and his arms circled her waist.

_It's getting easier and easier now…_

_Easier to make him see my way…_


	32. Chapter 25 a

Hello! Thanks everybody for the reviews!

Sorry for the delay, here's next chapter. I hope you enjoy it. It's short but next part should come pretty soon.

* * *

**Chapter 25 a/**

"We're leaving today, my love…"

Padmé Skywalker grinned as she nuzzled her daughter's face slightly. Dressing her, she caressed Leia's hair and felt overjoyed when the little girl giggled back at her.

"You'll meet your family at last…" she whispered to her daughter.

Silently, she watched as Leia took some still shaky steps.

_She had missed so much…_

Opening her arms to her daughter again and hugging her close as she stood up again, Padmé heaved a sigh.

Everything made her feel more optimistic now.

After giving some instructions to her handmaidens – and she wasn't particularly sad to leave Dormé on Coruscant fulfilling her obligations – and aides, everything had been prepared to reach Naboo effortlessly. All this time away from work and all it entailed would only leave her rested, she felt. And she could finally make up with her family back there.

Everything would be fine.

Strong arms abruptly embracing her and Leia made her catch her breath.

"The two women of my life…" Anakin whispered, resting a kiss on his wife's temple.

A smile settled on her more relaxed face as she leant back towards a strong chest. Leia was trying to catch her father's tunic in front of her which only made Padmé chuckle slightly.

"Where is Luke?" she asked as she watched her husband's flesh hand leave her waist to touch his daughter's nose, then her hair.

"With Dormé," he replied off-handedly, still fascinated by the little girl close to him. Leia babbled something close to 'Daddy' and opened her arms to her father. With a look, Padmé transferred the little body to her husband, whose practiced arms engulfed the child easily.

The young woman looked away and tried to calm herself, even though the mention of Dormé's name made her blood boil.

It was _really_ time to go away for a little while.

And when they'd be back, her children would only know _her_.

Anakin watched her strangely, still securely holding their child.

"What is it again?" he asked wearily.

Leia was suddenly quiet. Her big eyes were looking back and forth between her parents.

Padmé looked away again.

No argument, not today. And certainly not about the same person.

Faking a smile she came closer, and reached out a hand, stroking her husband's hair.

"I think I like the shorter hair…" she said, trying to dissolve the tension.

Anakin only shrugged.

"I was getting tired of it. The Clone wars are long over."

With a look at his tightened lips, Padmé tried to divert the discussion back to good memories. They both needed it.

"I remember the first time I saw you with the longer hair. You were on the Holonet and they were showing teenagers crushing on you."

Anakin smiled slightly, balancing Leia slightly. The girl was cuddling close to her father, watching her mother with interest.

"Oh. Right," he replied and their eyes met. Suddenly, Padmé felt as if they were back two years ago, when everything wasn't as complicated as they once thought, for what mattered most in these days was their love and nothing else… He chuckled in remembrance and she felt her heart beat a little quicker, her hand still tangled into his short curls. "Once, teenagers recognized me during a mission and they almost got hysterical, you know…" he teased, his eyes shining with something close to mischief. Something she hadn't seen there in forever. Another chuckle. "Obi-Wan wouldn't stop teasing me about that. He kept saying-"

He trailed off abruptly and the light was gone from his eyes.

Suddenly she could feel the pang of pain in his chest as if it were in her own. Leia was no longer quiet. She was frowning, ready to cry. Anakin's caresses didn't soothe his daughter, who cried earnestly now. Anakin gave her back to Padmé, his face now a stony mask, before leaving the room without a word.

Padmé sighed as her daughter squirmed in her arms.

_  
So much for the good memories._

* * *

_"Master Kenobi?!"_

Obi-Wan Kenobi flinched visibly as he recalled the way he had been welcomed by his peers. He found a chair in the middle of the small room and sat down, stroking his beard pensively. Stopping on Alderaan had been dangerous for it was so close to Coruscant and Imperial presence. Bail had only sent him the encrypted location of the Jedi through a secure connection.

Arbra wasn't too far from Dagobah and he had been glad he didn't have to make any stop on his way to the Jedi. They had been wary at first. The younger ones had been relieved to see him, asking about the other Jedi Masters still alive.

But in the older ones' eyes, he could read accusation. Accusation because he hadn't been there since the beginning. Because they all knew he must have failed if his former apprentice had gotten to the point of massacre. He could also see mistrust, because they all knew how close he and Anakin had been. One look at his mechanical hand had helped though. And they suddenly grew almost hopeful when they realized he had been the only one escaping a duel against Darth Vader alive.

Now they needed to form a plan. Surviving was not enough. They needed to find a way to stand up against the Empire. Joining the Alliance was no option, it was necessary.

And even though Obi-Wan felt he could finally be useful and make up for his own failure, he couldn't help the thought that he could endanger them all with his mere presence. If Anakin caught wind of his location…

He shuddered, watching the rain fall on the window on his right.

…they were all dead.

* * *

The elegant ship was much more comfortable than even her old Nubian starship but she missed the atmosphere there had been then as Anakin and she had embarked on a simple refugee transport or even when they had come back to marry in the Lake retreat. Now everything felt cold and impersonal as many guards and aides shuffled around in the spacious ship. Even 3PO's babbling hadn't soothed her and annoyed, she had told him to shut down. Concentrating on the twins sitting in front of her, Padmé tried to chase the thoughts away. Now was not the time for nostalgia.

But the children were making everything difficult. Padmé was trying her best to remain patient but it strangely eluded her lately.

It felt like she didn't know how to handle her own children, feeling inadequate- the feeling she hated most in the world-. And taking Dormé with her had been no option. She didn't need the woman to remind her she couldn't take care of her children now.

Fortunately, after much time, the twins finally fell asleep. Padmé flopped down on a nearby couch, sighing in relief. Everything would be different on Naboo; she needed to believe this…

And she needed to forget about what could happen back on Coruscant or she would get mad. Her eyes rested on a console a little bit away and she bit her lip, trying to rein herself in.

No work…

Yet, she couldn't help but think they wouldn't be able to cop out without her back there. The task was too immense, almost inhuman.

Just one look at the Holonet would be enough…

"They're sleeping?"

The soft whisper brought her out of her brewing thoughts abruptly.

Anakin was standing in the doorway, his eyes resting on their children. And right there, she could only read love. The realization made her heart clench in her chest.

She looked down, suddenly feeling ashamed.

What was happening to her?

_Something was wrong lately, so wrong…_

"You look tired," Anakin said, sitting down next to her.

She shut her eyes and leant close to him.

"We really need some rest…" she only murmured against his neck, breathing in his familiar scent.

Anakin didn't say anything, only caressed her hand, bringing it to his lips.

"I love you."

The words had flown out of her mouth unexpectedly but quietly. Somehow, she needed him to know this.

Somehow…

It was one of the very few things she was still sure of.

Anakin inhaled sharply, his eyes resting on his lap, then looked at her tentatively. She stared back at him earnestly. He looked down again, breathing heavily.

She longed to know what he could be thinking right now.

Taking her hand again, he kissed her knuckles quietly.

And then… in a whisper, he spoke.

"I wonder why…" he breathed against her skin.

There was so much sadness in his voice she felt the answering pain in her chest fill her completely.

And suddenly she realized that her husband was coming back to her lately, more and more… and somehow she had been oblivious to the change, so engrossed she was in politics and the Empire.

And somehow, the worst thing was…

_At the time, she didn't really care…_

"Ani…" she could only whisper, pressing her lips on his cheek in a desperate attempt to get closer.

He didn't say anything else and their lips melted together. Her head spun as usual, and before she knew it, he had pulled her up in his arms, and led her to their bedroom, without once breaking their kiss.

* * *

"You're so nervous…" he whispered against her neck later as they lay intertwined in their bed. "Are you afraid of their reaction once they see us?"

She swallowed, pressing his warm arms around her tighter. He nuzzled her neck in response.

"Yes," she managed, her throat too constricted to speak.

"They are your family…" he whispered in her ear. "They will forgive."

_Forgive…_

She fought the urge to retort they weren't supposed to be doing anything wrong…

_-right?-_

_And deep inside of her… she wondered if he'd say the same thing, were his mother still alive…_

_Shmi wouldn't forgive her son's deeds._

_She wondered if he knew that and if he was obsessed with that, like he should be._

Padmé shut her eyes against the tears once the awful thoughts stopped in her head.

She was glad Anakin could no longer read her thoughts like he once could.

_Or so she liked to think…_

"Sometimes, I feel like…"

She couldn't finish the statement out loud. _Like… she was changing… And maybe, just maybe, she was too far gone for even her family to forgive._

_Forgive what?_ A little voice chimed in. _What you are doing is right. You are fixing what Anakin is doing. And_ you –_unlike him- are a good person._

She tightened her shut eyes and breathed out.

"Tell me I'm still the woman you love, Anakin…" she whispered, shaking, her hands grasping his arms like a lifeline.

Silence.

Then gently, he made her turn around and she pressed her face in the crook of his neck, feeling his arms come up around her again.

"Yes, you are," he whispered, caressing her hair gently.

He was trying to hide it but she could hear the uncertainty in his voice.


	33. Chapter 25 b

Hello everyone. Thank you so much for the reviews as usual, here's next chapter. I'll try to post the next one much sooner. Thanks to everyone for following me on this journey.

* * *

**Chapter 25 b/**

Beeping pulled Padmé out of sleep. Sighing heavily, she carefully disengaged herself from her husband's tight embrace. Anakin didn't stir as she sat up, pulled a robe over herself and tiptoed into the adjacent room.

The holo console was still beeping insistently. Hurrying, Padmé pushed the button just in time. She couldn't help the sudden excitement she felt over an issue brought to her.

_She had known all along they wouldn't be able to cop out without her there...._

Dormé's face appeared and Padmé did her best to hide her irrational dislike of the young woman.

"I am so sorry for bothering you now, milady but an aide informed me the research you had asked for is over."

"And who is the one responsible then?"

"Mas Amedda, milady."

Padmé nodded quietly. She had suspected it all along.

"Thank you, Dormé," she said distractedly. The handmaiden's face brightened slightly, unable to prevent the hope in her eyes.

Padmé suddenly felt a pang for her unfair behavior with one she had once thought to be a friend.

_Someone she _still _thought to be a friend..._

_Right?_

But still... Padmé would prefer that Dormé stayed away from her family as much as possible in the future.

* * *

Coming back to her bedroom, Padmé changed into comfortable clothes before preparing to conduct her holo conference. Anakin was sleeping still, one arm stretched out towards what had been her place in their bed. He was frowning, his head moving as he muttered senseless words.

_  
Another nightmare..._

Sitting on the bedside, she tangled her hand into his hair, stroking it, then caressing his face tenderly until he quieted. A part of her yearned to crawl back under the sheets next to him, near his warmth. Being so close to him earlier had felt like a breath of fresh air. There hadn't been a lot of times to be close and intimate lately. Constant late meetings and hard days always left her exhausted when she came back home. Rare lovemaking had been almost… _hollow_ most of the time.

Padmé swallowed.

How come she had only just realized that?

Giving into her impulse, she lay down beside her husband, kissing his jaw and feeling his arms automatically unfold her, even in his sleep.

She breathed out as the usual deep feeling of safety washed over her.

A part of her wanted to run away with him and their children right now. Far, far away from the Empire and all it entailed. Away from that part of himself he would never be able to control.

Far away from a part of herself she could no longer control sometimes.

Letting her thoughts roam, she pictured Anakin asking her to leave with him. As he used to during the war when the pain of being apart was too much and he no longer wanted to be a Jedi.

If he asked now...

Padmé's hand stilled in Anakin's shorter curls, as he sighed in his sleep and moved closer to her, his face now buried in the crook of her neck.

If he asked...

....she wasn't sure she would say yes.

For now there was something bigger than him and her and even their children.

The galaxy was in shambles and only she could put it back into its original shape. She knew what was needed to be done because only _she_ knew the true extent of damages Palpatine then Anakin had made.

And she had a responsibility in both dictatorships.

Hadn't she been the one to put Palpatine in Valorum's place?

Hadn't she been the one blind to Anakin's actions, supporting them somehow?

Padmé used to think absolute power was a bad thing, a fire that would only burn your hands if you held the reins too tightly. Younger, she had always been taught not to grow accustomed to power and encouraged to learn how to let it go, for it was dangerous, addictive and eventually destroyed you, you and everyone in the end...

_Maybe..._

A sigh.

It was the only way, she reflected, closing her eyes and kissing Anakin's forehead gently.

Right now, given the circumstances, it was the only way.

Besides, she was the only one who would succeed where others had failed.

They had all cared about power. She cared about making people's lives better. She didn't care about power for herself, only for others.

And that was what the galaxy needed now.

Anakin moved in her arms slightly, putting an end to her thoughts and reminding her she had a holo transmission to make. Padmé got up from the bed reluctantly, missing Anakin's warmth as soon as her feet touched the floor. With a last look at her husband, she left the bedroom to join her holo conference room again.

Mas Amedda's face was as disgusting as ever. His sickening smile was stretched out on his blue features as he quietly observed her non formal clothes. Padmé realized he now knew she was no longer on Coruscant.

"Did you ask for me, Your Excellency?" he asked with his unnerving voice.

"I did, Governor," Padmé replied as coldly.

"What is it for, if I may ask?"

"Do you remember the demonstration taking place before the Senate one week ago?"

Amedda looked at her dubiously.

"I do, Your Highness." He smiled.

Padmé wanted to slap him.

"Then you do remember all those who died there," she went on, her voice progressively taking the tone she employed while being a Queen.

"If I may, Your Highness, I only applied the Emperor's policy... those youths were getting agitated, there was some fight with the Senate guards. I only did my duty."

"You were not entitled to take this decision, Governor," she replied sternly. "You should have informed me of this demonstration!"

Mas Amedda smiled patiently and looked at her as one would despise a child.

"I know you saw fit to reduce some of our powers," he replied with a cold look," but we still are responsible for the security of our planets. I cannot bother you with such petty matters, your Highness."

Padmé fought to stay calm.

"You are under my authority", she replied through clenched teeth. "The time for unnecessary violence is over."

This time there was only anger on the blue face in front of her. The holo flickered slightly.

"I only do what the Emperor always instructed me to," the Governor said with no small amount of malice that infuriated her further.

"I am not the Emperor and you answer to me now."

The Chagrian seemed to pale.

"What you did is unacceptable. It goes against the instructions I have given and could have shocked the public opinion."

She took a deep breath. Now would come the easiest part of this conversation.

"You are dismissed," she said icily.

Mas Amedda nearly choked.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You are dismissed and discharged of your powers immediately."

"You cannot possibly leave the planet without-"

"Rest assured there are plenty of pretenders for your place," she interrupted, letting him see all the scorn she felt for him. "It would be best for you to leave without the stormtroopers' _help_."

And with that, she cut off the connection.

A smirk made its way on the Empress' face. She had waited for this moment for a long time.

Padmé was about to rise to leave the holo conference room when a call distracted her. The holo flickered again.

An Admiral she didn't know wanted to talk to the Emperor.

Military constituted most of Anakin's prerogatives.

Padmé hesitated.

_No need to bother Anakin for another war taking place in the Outer Rim…_

She handled the matter herself.

* * *

Padmé found her husband in the cockpit. Anakin had apparently dismissed the pilots and was showing his children all the complicated buttons and commands on the console. Luke was sitting on his father's lap, eagerly touching all the fascinating lights . Leia looked enthralled as well and Padmé couldn't help but smile at the soothing scenery.

Coming closer, she took the seat next to Anakin, pulling Luke onto her lap as Leia still cried out undecipherable words, still sitting with her father. Padmé breathed in the little boy's hair as tiny fingers seized hers. The child was babbling as well in her arms, still drawn to the strange lights.

"I hope we are on autopilot," she teased as she watched her daughter punch some buttons slightly.

"I just wanted to show them a little," he shrugged, catching Leia's hands with his own and pushing them away from the commands. "It soothed them; they were quite agitated."

"It's the first time they're travelling," Padmé whispered, playing with Luke's small fists. She cooed at him.

"I didn't find you earlier," Anakin said suddenly. "You were working again, I suppose."

She glanced at him. His jaw was firm. He was obviously displeased.

She sighed. "Some important business required my attention."

Anakin scowled. "It's always important..."

Padmé swallowed and stretched out a hand towards him in apology. She felt a wave of relief when he took it without a second thought, entwining her fingers with his gloved ones.

"I promise this was the last time..." As an afterthought, she decided that now was the best time to tell him something he would soon learn one way or another. "I dismissed Amedda."

It was his turn to sigh and blue eyes looked into hers wearily. "Why?"

She was about to respond when he shook his head.

"Doesn't matter," he decided, stroking his daughter's forehead with his flesh hand tenderly. The girl's eyes were slowly closing under her father's ministrations. "I always thought he was a necessary burden if I wanted to keep an eye on him. But I trust your judgment." He sighed and looked away, his jaw tightening. "I don't want to talk about politics right now."

Slightly taken aback, Padmé only squeezed his hand.

They sat in silence. In her arms, Luke grew as tired as his sister.

"How far from Naboo are we?" Padmé asked, as everything went quiet without the twins sounds.

"We'll be arriving in two standard hours, I believe."

Padmé nodded, stifling a yawn.

Anakin smiled gently and released her hand, standing with their sleeping daughter in his arms.

"I think all three of you should go to sleep for a little while," he said pointedly.

Padmé said nothing, only studied him silently.

A wave of longing at simplicity washed through her, not for the first time.

She remembered a time when they both were only young parents to be, blissfully in love.

_It seemed so long ago..._

"Do you wish you could go back in time?" she asked out of nowhere.

Her murmur seemed to suck the air out of the room.

Anakin froze visibly. Leia stirred on her father's shoulder but didn't wake.

After a moment, he silently held out a hand and helped Padmé to her feet.

He didn't answer the question. He didn't need to. It was written all over his face.

What he had meant to say but couldn't bring himself to utter out loud or to her:

_Always._


	34. Chapter 26

Hello everyone! Here's next chapter as promised. Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

**Chapter 26**

Naboo.

_Home_.

Memories of happiness and joy there.

Anakin Skywalker stole a glance at his wife, eyes fixed on the glass, straining to absorb every single detail from where she stood. She looked hopeful but still unsure.

He hoped she would find whatever she was searching for here.

He hoped they both could.

* * *

A deep breath.

Another.

It wasn't helping.

Padmé tried to calm her children but they seemed to be tied to her own feelings in a way she couldn't fully comprehend sometimes. She felt so tired she gave up and left them in her husband's care.

She hated the way Anakin was looking at her right now.

In a concerned way.

Strangely enough, she reflected that things were a little bit easier when he was trapped in his dark side persona. At least then, he wasn't this perceptive.

Fresh air.

Calmness.

Something that felt very foreign for one who had been living on Coruscant for so long.

The Force was peaceful here, Anakin realized. There was light everywhere, engulfing everything.

-_And everyone… even him…_-

The population was welcoming them with all the honors. The young man was convinced it had nothing to do with their new status but rather with Padmé's popularity. She was welcomed as she should be. His children had been whisked away towards the other entrance of the Palace, under R2's watchful eye and he and his wife were now waving at the crowd.

A small memory came back, of him so young and a terse Master standing next to him. Of a beautiful smile sent his way and the smell of flowers everywhere. .

He looked at Padmé who was now glowing. No longer nervous, she looked like a Goddess. The light was shimmering on her brown hair, falling like a cascade on her back. She smirked at him sideways, even though she still retained her regal status.

Everything about her truly fascinated him.

Turning around, they walked up the stairs of the Palace as some civilians before them.

Anakin couldn't fight a small shiver. All these people welcoming them could only mean one thing. Soon all the Galaxy would be aware of their little vacation. And here he had thought that staying at the Palace would have been possible without all this ceremony.

The Emperor darkly reflected he hadn't learnt that much in all these years.

_Politicians…_

He threw a heavy-loaded glance at the Queen who was waiting for them at the top of the stairs. For all her regal demeanor, he perceived the smallest trembling as she looked at him.

Good.

He would have to explain to her the meaning of discretion.

Looking at Padmé sideways again, he realized her own gaze had darkened upon the Queen's vision.

Their gazes crossed, almost in slow motion.

The light was receding suddenly, dark shadows falling on her face and everywhere around them. Anakin could hear his own breathing very loudly, his heart beating more quickly as the seconds ticked by. He looked around, overwhelmed, all sounds muted.

He couldn't breathe.

There was fire everywhere, hot air clinging to his skin.

He blinked, losing his balance.

Everything reminded him of his dream inside the ship, Padmé's dying face printed in his skull.

_Smoke_.

No one seemed to notice around him.

Padmé was still ascending the stairs majestically, the flaps of her airy gown floating around her.

Time was slowing dangerously, the blood pumping his veins.

He heard infants cries in the background, felt fear race inside, the coldness crawling up his spine.

Padmé fell down.

Her delicate hands were clutching her throat desperately.

He stayed immobile.

She was gasping for breath.

She stopped moving, _as the Naboo civilians clapped wildly around them…_

Her big dead eyes watched him silently.

In the background he could still hear children crying out in despair.

Time moved again.

Anakin blinked, the light suddenly blinding him.

The sounds came back, the yells and the loud clapping.

He was shivering under the hot sun. Padmé stopped at the highest step and turned around, frowning worriedly. Her pale lavender gown was iridescent in the sunlight. Her eyes were searching his in silence. He felt her concern for him flowing down the stairs to him, so vividly she could have been whispering into his ear.

He suddenly felt a hand on his arm.

"Your Highness?" whispered an aide on his right, trying to stabilize him.

The young Emperor jerked away from the touch and groaned something in reply.

He was still frowning.

It had been his first vision in broad sunlight.

Still shaken, he followed his wife through the majestic doors, addressing her a fake smile to reassure her.

* * *

Padmé only addressed a small smile to Sio Bibble as she passed him by. Somehow seeing the old man again hadn't been really pleasing.

In spite of herself, all her being was turned to a single woman.

Queen Apailana was leading them inside, with all the grace a Naboo monarch required. The Throne room was as magnificent as she remembered it. A hint of defiance could be visible in the young Queen's eyes but overall her demeanor was quite distant and indifferent.

Like a real Queen.

In other times Padmé would have admired her self control, her ability to control her anger and rage at this tremendous welcome from her people. At this invasion of her Palace and her planet by the Emperor and Empress. _This regime she loathed so much_.

In other times Padmé would have admired her devotion to her principles and her people.

But right now, there was something close to the sweet feeling of revenge filling her and she wouldn't fight it.

Here was the woman who had deprived Padmé of all her dignity and all she had worked so hard for when she retired her the title of Senator. Padmé hated herself for having such low thoughts but deep inside, she savored her coming back with more dignity and regal attitude than this young woman would ever dream of having.

Another thought struck her suddenly as she announced her husband and she would stay in the Palace for the length of their stay.

_Luke and Leia will love it here.  
_

* * *

Anakin had been silent ever since his little 'absence' as they ascended the stairs of the Palace. He had looked momentarily distraught and Padmé had seen his fear as clear as the day in his eyes. It had lasted an instant but it had worried her.

"Are you alright, my love?" she asked him when they were alone in the Queen's quarters. She took his flesh hand when he didn't respond.

It was icy.

"Ani?" she inquired, watching as his blue eyes lost themselves in the beautiful Naboo landscape in the distance.

He seemed to shake himself from his reverie and smiled slightly.

"What happened earlier?"

He shrugged. "Nothing."

She fought the urge to roll her eyes at his obvious lie.

"Really?"

He pursed his lips.

"I am not satisfied with our arrival."

"Why?"

He was about to reply when sounds of crying interrupted them. She excused herself for a minute to soothe her children and help the aides place them in the small beds they had taken with them on their journey. She looked around. The room was fantastic. Asking C3PO and R2 to watch over them, Padmé returned to their bedroom to find Anakin looking out of the open window thoughtfully.

"So?"

"I had hoped no one would be aware of our arrival." Silence. Then in a small voice, his admission. "I'm worried about your safety."

She sighed and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his tense back.

"I'm safe here with you…" she murmured. Cracking an eye open against the side of his arm, she silently admired the vast expanse of water in the distance, the way a bird flew right by their window, the peace the whole place exuded. Mind-absently, Anakin's gloved fingers were stroking her arms.

"I don't want you to exit the Palace," he said after a long silence.

She heaved a sigh against his tunic.

"My family highly dislikes the Palace," she explained, getting out of their embrace and placing herself next to him to look into his eyes. His jaw was clenched and she knew it would be hard for him to concede this point. "To them it embodies everything that always kept them from me. When I was Queen, they had to come here to see me-"

"Now you're an Empress." He interrupted roughly, as if to further prove his point.

Padmé tried not to let her frustration show.

"I'm trying to get closer to them, not drive them away from me, Anakin… If I don't visit them in their home, _my_ home still, they will think I'm more distant than ever…"

She moved closer, one hand resting on his arm.

"Ani… Please, this is the only thing I'll ask of you here. Perhaps we could travel secretly."

He snickered.

"As secretly as when we arrived?"

"That was the Queen's doing, I suppose," Padmé replied, trying not to show her dislike of the young woman. "This time we won't involve the Palace staff. Just the four of them…"

Anakin looked away.

"I'm sorry, I can't risk anything." He looked her in the eye again. "I want you to stay in the Palace all the time, have you understood?"

_Force, how she hated when he took this tone with her. _

"Fine", she conceded. "I'll have to inform my family about this."

And with that, she left him at the window, trying to calm her anger.

* * *

Fortunately, her mother had responded to her call. Jobal had looked disappointed but had smiled as they shut down the connection.

_You looked so beautiful during the ceremony_.

Padmé smiled at the tenderness and pride of her mother's small words. She had meant so much more than that of course, but Padmé reflected it was a good beginning.

Everything had to be perfect for the dinner she was preparing for her family.

The twins were dressed in the most adorable outfits she had found. Leia had been a little bit difficult as she put the small dress over her head but other than that, she was much more at ease than the young woman had ever seen her daughter. Even R2 looked happy to be back on Naboo. Padmé couldn't help a little giggle when the droid chased after C3PO inside the Palace. Dressing in a light blue flowing dress, she waited as the Queen's handmaidens put her hair up into a distinguished hairdo. Padmé smiled at her reflection and got up to give orders in the kitchen.

Passing by the Queen's new quarters, something close to shame came over her.

Wasn't she using her position for something she hadn't even allowed herself when she was Queen? It was bad enough they were more or less annexing the Palace, but organizing a _personal_ feast in the Palace was…

Something she shouldn't be doing.

But here she was, behaving like…

_An Empress_.

Going back to the kitchen, she instructed a different dinner, something more intimate and profusely thanked the cooks for their help.

The Palace was eerily silent as she wandered through the deserted corridors. It reminded her a lot of her youth. Then she would get up and listen to the sounds of the night, finally free of the overwhelming security. The Palace had been both a prison and her own personal space then.

_Wasn't it still now? _

* * *

Padmé found her husband in deep discussion with one of his Admirals in the Throne Room. She waited in the dark against a pillar, knowing full well he could feel her presence. The issue of the current war in the Outer Rim was brought up and Padmé grimaced.

Anakin would quickly realize she had meddled with his affairs when he wasn't looking.

The holo conference was soon ended.

They stayed silent for a while.

"I would appreciate you not giving orders to the military, Padmé."

He didn't sound very angry, rather frustrated and Padmé left the pillar she was leaning on to join him in the dim light.

"I was only trying to help," she said simply.

Anakin was looking at her silently, clearly undecided on what to tell her. Before he tried to seek too much information, she came closer and shyly showed her attire.

"What do you think?"

She grinned as he slowly started to notice how she was dressed.

He looked shy all of a sudden which was very rare these days.

"I can't think of any words to convey how I feel about you," he only said, watching her with adoration.

"That must be a first."

Padmé waited.

The chuckle she was counting on came all of a sudden, surprising and so welcome right now… They looked at each other silently for a while, Anakin's gaze suddenly very soft. He crossed the distance between them, wearing something close to mischief on his face.

She couldn't breathe.

_How long had it been since she spotted such an expression on his features?_

She didn't have the time to ponder this.

Before she could think, Anakin had taken her into his arms, pressing her against the pillar she had only left a few moments ago. Hungry kisses fell on her neck and she couldn't hold out the small but uncharacteristic giggle leaving her lips.

"You're going to ruin my dress…" she murmured against his neck, her hands betraying her and slipping inside his tunic to caress the skin underneath.

His lips slowly ascended to her face and she gripped the now short strands of hair to meld her mouth with his.

He pulled away long enough to truly look at her in the dim light.

Was it curiosity or contentment she could read in his blue eyes?

She watched him slowly decide it didn't matter as his lips descended upon hers again. Padmé gave a muffled sigh of soft pleasure, shutting her eyes tightly and reaching up to circle his neck with her arms.

Anakin murmured her name against her neck in such an intense way her knees quickly grew weak. She was now the one kissing him passionately, which he returned with equal fervor.

_Hands buried in his hair, gloved fingers on her back, straining to get closer…_

In the background, she heard some voices in the corridors and realized her family would arrive soon.

Regaining some control of her mind, Padmé reluctantly escaped his kisses.

"My family will be here in any minute."

His gaze refocused on her with some difficulty as he panted slightly. She figured she must be flushed as well right now.

A sigh. "I see."

She kissed his jaw tenderly before pulling away from his embrace. He let her go reluctantly. She glanced over her shoulder. She loved the look on his face as he watched her walk away towards the dinner room.

Rearranging herself in front of the mirror, Padmé cooed to the twins in their little hover chairs.

With a secret smile, she realized she felt more carefree than she had in a very long time.

* * *

Padmé's family arrived soon enough.

She rushed to the back door entrance to see her loved ones ushered in by the Royal guards. A genuine smile settled on her face as she walked towards them quickly. But her smile dropped slightly when she realized one important person was missing.

Her father hadn't deigned to come.

Even though she had seen it coming, it still hurt.

Hiding her disappointment, she placed a grin on her face and joined her family. Her mother, her sister and brother-in-law and their two children were standing a little bit away, clearly ill-at-ease. For all her façade, Padmé couldn't find a single word to say, instead clasping her hands and standing there uselessly. If her mother was trying to smile tentatively, Sola and Darred were both sporting grim looks which didn't help.

Except for soft hellos, the place was deathly quiet.

For once Padmé yearned for C3PO's skills for etiquette.

As if on cue, the golden droid appeared out of a hallway and saluted everyone, bowing deep. Her family watched him curiously as he started to explain to them the various stages of the evening she had prepared. The little girls looked fascinated by him and Padmé sighed in relief as a reluctant smile came to her sister's face.

"Your Highness," he chimed in, addressing her. "If we may now… The dinner is ready!"

Instantly, the awkward silence settled again. She could feel resentment grow on their sides at the mention of her title.

Padmé's face fell.

Motioning for them to come, she tried not to let her feelings sink with the coldness of their welcome home. Upon arriving in the dinner room, she watched as a displeased expression fell on her sister's face who had recognized the place instantly. Sola's face soon lightened up though when she spotted Leia and Luke in their hover chairs, watched by R2 faithfully. Thankfully, the twins were very quiet for once. Padmé stroked their hairs tenderly as she watched Ryoo and Pooja squealing together, glimpsing the little droid. They rushed past Padmé to embrace R2 who was beeping happily in remembrance.

The girls turned away from the droid soon enough to face their aunt and watch their cousins with a shy smile. Luke opened his arms to Ryoo who smiled with delight. Hopefully, the girl turned to Sola for permission. Reluctantly, her mother motioned for her to accept the boy into her arms. Sweetly, Padmé took her son into her arms and guided the girl's hands around the small body.

"Oh… He's heavy…" Ryoo muttered.

All adults laughed slightly and the atmosphere felt much warmer suddenly. Jobal came closer and took Leia into her experienced arms. As Darred and Sola came to admire the twins, Padmé felt two little arms around her waist. Pooja looked up at her and beamed with all the innocence she still possessed.

The young woman blinked away some tears and knelt down to hug her tightly.

"I missed you, Auntie…" Pooja whispered in her ear.

Padmé couldn't speak and only hugged her closer. Slowly, Ryoo gave Luke to Sola, who held the boy close, to kneel down with them and embrace her tightly. When Padmé had overcome her emotion, she let go of her nieces, addressing them a bright smile and wiping away the tears on Ryoo's face before standing up to take her mother into her arms tightly. Against her, Leia was babbling some words. Jobal was doing her best not to cry and slowly put the girl into her hover chair again before turning back to Padmé and hugging her tightly.

This time, the young woman really thought she was going to cry earnestly.

_This was really home._

Raising her head while still in her mother's safe embrace, her gaze crossed Sola's. Her sister was still holding Luke and cooing to him.

A tentative smile settled on her dear sister's face and Padmé smiled in return.

Pulling away from her mother's embrace, she watched as her mother cupped her face tenderly.

"I'm so glad you're home again, sweetie."

"So am I, Mom," the young woman replied with emotion.

The moment was broken.

Padmé felt him before he even entered.

He had probably tried to make his entrance quietly but he had this presence about him that seemed to suck the air out of the room.

All eyes turned to the entrance when Anakin stepped inside.

If the atmosphere had seemed a little bit warmer for a while, it became cold again. Jobal was eyeing him up and down. Sola and Darred were looking at him with thinly veiled hatred. Ryoo and Pooja looked terrified. Out of the corner of her eye, she could swear 3PO and R2 were exchanging something close to a meaningful glance.

Clearing her throat loudly, she decided it was time to take matters into her hands.

"Mom, Sola, everyone… You remember Anakin?"

Walking towards him, she took in his slightly embarrassed expression and seized her husband's gloved hand in her own.

"My love, you remember my family."

"Hello," Anakin said formally.

There were several words muttered in reply. Something close to a hello in return.

_How different from her first introduction of him to them…_

Padmé had a bad feeling about the evening to come.


	35. Chapter 27

Hello, everyone!

So sorry for the delay! I posted another story on A/P called 'Change' (short one-shot), the link is in my stories if you want to check it out. :)

Thank you again and again for the awesome reviews. Know that I read every single one of them and am always touched by what you write on this story. Sorry again for the delay. Here's Chapter 27. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 27**

The chrono was ticking loudly.

The long table seemed to stretch forever. Various meals filled the old fashioned wooden material. Forks clinkered. Faces stared down at the plates, mouths chewing in absolute silence.

Padmé cast a glance on her right at two very agitated children, whose only desire was to go to sleep.

Or just draw her attention.

Sniffles and slight whimpering were signalling an imminent deluge of cries.

At the very end of the table, Anakin looked fascinated by his plate and barely acknowledged the young girl doing the service.

Padmé looked at her family, dispassionately eating their meals. Ryoo and Pooja were doing their best not to fall asleep on the table.

This was a disaster.

_And all Anakin's fault…_ she reflected.

He wasn't good at small talking naturally but his attitude was sucking out the very life of this room. He wasn't behaving like a husband with his family in law.

He was behaving like an Emperor, not even trying to entertain various ambassadors.

And that displeased her greatly.

All her little efforts at some talking were invariably ending up failing. For her family obviously hated the man at the other end of the table.

Every topic of conversation was always changing into politics talk.

And it always ended up badly.

Padmé had to admit her sister seemed to look for trouble… An innocent conversation about the twins had ended up in a discussion about Jedi.

Anakin had visibly restrained himself as Sola had heavily hinted at the Temple massacre.

The rest of the evening had been deathly quiet after that.

Padmé was torn between resenting her family for not making any efforts and visibly rejecting Anakin before he even opened his mouth and…

…secretly admiring her sister for standing up to her principles.

_Unlike her…_

The twins were starting to become really tired on top of that…

Padmé felt tears come up unexpectedly.

This was really everything she had feared happening.

_What had she been really expecting?_

You didn't marry a dictator without facing the consequences of your actions.

Luke chose this moment to explode. A piercing cry seemed to slice into her ears and she struggled to remain composed. Seemingly understanding her feelings, Anakin calmly got up from his chair and joined his son. With the greatest care, he took the crying infant in his arms and as Leia's upper lip started to tremble, wisely led the other hover chair out of the dinner room wordlessly. Inwardly, Padmé decided she couldn't stay angry with him too long. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sola trying to hide her surprise at Anakin's tender side.

Breathing out to steady her wayward emotions, Padmé heard herself address her family.  
_  
It had to end once and for all._

"I think it is time to start being honest with each other."

* * *

"So… Are you happy to finally be out of here?"

A sigh into the peaceful night.

"I am anyway."

Strong hands held tiny ones gently as the adult slowly led the little boy into one of the Naboo deserted garden paths. Luke gripped his father's hands with delight as he took still hesitant steps. Beside them, Leia was walking slowly but less unbalanced than her brother.

"Careful, Leia…" he admonished as the girl was trying to venture on the grass. Gently, he let go of one of Luke's hands to draw his daughter closer.

Luke was starting to tire though and Anakin stopped the small walking to take the boy into his arms. His son wanted to be back on the ground again but he placed him in the vacant hover chair, ignoring his small protests.

He knew Padmé would have disapproved of the small exercise this late anyway…

Calling his daughter's name tenderly, he picked the small body up and held her close as they went back to the other way.

Back to the palace and… _hatred_.

It was all over the place during dinner and he had felt somewhat amused at the intense feeling of loathing in these simple people's eyes.

Anakin sighed.

If not for Padmé he would have never tolerated Sola's outburst.

For a while he had pictured crushing her neck for those indignant comments.

But he had held himself in check and for that he felt… satisfied.

"I'm doing this for your mother…" he whispered to Leia's adorable face close to his.

Leia smiled in her innocent way, seemingly content to be in her father's arms. Luke was pouting in his hover chair, obviously discontent his father had turned his attention to his sister.

"Dada! goo!"

Anakin stopped in his tracks.

Leia's small hands were stretched towards him, trying to grip his tunic.

"Dada…"

"Do you know what you just said, Leia?"

The girl only giggled, cuddling closer to him.

In his hover chair, Luke was starting to cry.

Stroking his son's hair with his gloved hand soothingly, Anakin kissed his daughter's top of head.

"Da-da!" the girl repeated decidedly, seemingly satisfied the word meant something to her father.

Anakin didn't know if he had heard something more beautiful before.

* * *

"Leia, please… I need you to sleep!"

Exasperated, Anakin raked a hand through his short hair. The girl was alternating between babbling her newfound words that were getting closer and closer to meaningful things and crying which was driving him crazy. He had not even bothered to make a detour to the dining room where Padmé was discussing things with her family-

_-and somehow, there was still the irrational fear Padmé was making up an escape plan with her family, like what she did, a long time ago…_-

-and had settled in the children's room, having already succeeded at making Luke lie down and calm but failing at making his daughter do the same.

She was really exasperating.

And Padmé was discussing things with her family.

And he _really_ didn't like it, in spite of himself.

"Leia."

The cold tone of his voice managed to get him a result. The girl's eyes opened wide in fear.

But she was calm at least.

And she didn't fight when he put her into her small bed for the night.

His comm. chose this moment to beep loudly into the sudden silence. Anakin closed the door behind him and found himself smirking.

The holo console of his bedroom was activated in a minute.

An aide bowed, the blue transmission flickering slightly.

"Your Highness."

"I suppose there must be important news if you dare bother me now."

The aide trembled. Anakin resisted the urge to scoff.

_Some things never changed_.

"We have determined the origin of the connection between Bail Organa and Kenobi, Your Highness."

Anakin waved his hand impatiently, tensing.

"And?"

"The planet Kenobi was supposedly on isn't registered on any chart, Your Highness. It is located in the Sluis sector, situated between Queyta and Utapau. We have led researches but it appears the planet in question is not inhabited."

The tension on the Emperor's face vanished.

A dark smile had made its way on his face.

"You have worked well. I will leave shortly."

He was about to cut off the connection when a sudden thought struck him.

"Send a fleet to Alderaan. I want Organa arrested and ready to answer any question I will deem appropriate if the need comes."

With that, he switched off the console, his smile stretching into a carnal grin.

* * *

"I don't know how you do this."

Silence.

"I'm sorry, Padmé. But I really, _deeply_ hate him."

The young woman sighed and paced the elegant reception room's carpet again. Her family was sitting on the sofa, Pooja sleeping on her mother's lap. However Ryoo was listening attentively, her sad eyes going from one adult to another.

Padmé was all too aware of her niece's slow apprehension of the situation.

And she couldn't fight the shame slowly surrounding her.

"You haven't really tried to hear me out!" she pleaded to her sister.

Sola crossed her arms, glaring at her.

"Alright, I'm listening."

"Anakin is a good man."

A snort.

"You've already tried to explain this but I'm sorry, I don't buy it."

"If you only knew how and why he changed, you would understand my position."

For the first time since the beginning of this agitated conversation, her mother spoke up.

"If he is forcing you to do this, Padmé, you have to tell us. We will help, we will do everything we can to help you get out of there."

_Alas, there had been a time when she would've jumped on the occasion_, Padmé reflected sadly.

"It isn't like that!" she protested, trying to suppress the sudden ghostly feeling of gloved fingers pressing around her throat. _And those evil eyes settling onto her in the darkness...  
_

"Then really explain yourself!" Sola blurted out. "Explain to me how my beloved sister, _someone I was looking up to_, became an Empress, supporting a dictatorship that killed millions already!"

Padmé's head was suddenly aching. She cast a meaningful look to her nieces.

"I don't think the girls should stay while-"

"Yes, they should," Darred interrupted. "I want my daughters to be aware of everything that's going on in this galaxy now. Including what is concerning their aunt."

Padmé sighed.

Slumping down on one of the couches near the fireplace in a very uncharacteristic move for an Empress, she braced herself.

"Anakin changed," she began quietly.

"I already told you he had always been a monster, only you were too blind to see…" her sister sighed.

Padmé threw a worried glance to the entrance. It didn't escape her mother's watchful eye.

"You are afraid of him, my dear."

A statement, not even a question.

"No, I'm not…" she whispered. "At least not any longer."

_Honesty was probably the best course now…_

"Anakin _changed_," she repeated. "He-" _How to explain this? _"He turned to the dark side. He did it to save me… And I think he did save me in the end. But the dark side changes you, turns you into a monster."

"He did kill all the Jedi, didn't he?" Sola asked quietly.

Another sigh.

"Yes."

_Almost._

Her mind flashed to Obi-Wan unexpectedly and she pushed him away forcefully.

"At some point, I wanted to leave. When power became more important than everything else, which is what the dark side does to someone, when he really became this monster" –_evil eyes, yellow covering her vision, rough hands closing around her arms and hurting, hurting, leaving marks on her skin- _"I wanted to leave. He didn't let me."

"Oh, Padmé…" her mother let out, one single tear tracing down her cheek. Convulsively, her hand reached out to grip her daughter's.

Padmé held onto it like a lifeline.

"But he can be saved. You saw for yourself how he is with the twins. He would never ever harm them, I am sure of it." Looking up, she noticed her sister's gaze had softened somewhat.

"Did he harm you?"

Padmé swallowed and looked away.

There was no point in answering. The answer was all in the deathly silence of the room. Her mother's fingers caressed the skin of her hand tenderly.

"He never will again and it is all that matters now."

Sola looked up, her features clearly contracted with pain.

"You sound an awful lot like an abused wife."

Padmé shook her head softly.

But all of a sudden, long buried feelings were slowly surfacing.

Somehow, it still hurt. What he had done to her still _hurt_.

"It's not like that… He can control the dark side now… He's more immune to it somehow."

"But he did harm you," Darred said gravely.

"If your father was here…" Jobal mused.

"I think Anakin would be dead by now," Padmé tried to smile.

As if on cue, the double doors opened abruptly, startling them all.

* * *

Anakin was standing in the entryway, his dark cloak floating menacingly around him, his face tensed and his eyes carefully assessing the situation. Padmé could feel the tiny shreds of doubt making their way into his mind and only tensed further.

Something was wrong.

"Ana-"

"I need to speak to you right now," he only uttered through clenched teeth.

Out of the corner of her eye, Padmé could feel Darred tense and ready to protect her if the need arose. The young woman felt touched but knew it would be completely pointless if Anakin really wanted to do something violent.

_Which he wouldn't._

Padmé calmly stood up, addressing them a reassuring smile and joined her husband in the corridor, closing the double doors behind her.

In the very dim light, he didn't look as threatening.

"I'm leaving," her husband announced without preamble.

She felt something curl around her heart and squeeze.

"Obi-Wan?" she whispered.

He nodded.

Padmé's breath caught in her chest. She had prepared for this but she had never expected it to happen now… That connection had been captured so long ago she had almost forgotten its existence.

She had been willing to forget it just like she had been willing to forget a lot of things lately.

Anakin abruptly seized her hands and tightened his fingers around hers.

Even in the dim light she could see how pale he was. There was something deeply troubling him.

"I want you to be careful…" he whispered. "Do not get out of these walls, _please._ I'm so…" A deep breath. "I'm so _scared-_"

His voice broke.

"Then don't leave…" Padmé said, one of her hands escaping his tight grip to caress his cheek.

He shuddered under her caress and closed his eyes convulsively.

"This is my only chance to catch him and keep you safe once and for all…"

His trembling flesh hand took her small one on his cheek and he kissed her palm very slowly as he opened shadowed eyes.

"Promise me you'll stay here, Padmé. You and the children."

Something inside her rebelled against the idea.

_She wasn't a fragile doll and his nightmares no longer came true now…_

But one look at his drained face changed her mind.

"I promise, Ani."

With a groan, he pulled her flush against him, murmured words against her neck, kissed her jaw, cheek, nose, lips and put his hands around her face to deepen the kiss…

Padmé felt light-headed and only struggled to get closer to him.

"_You_ be careful…" she whispered when she caught her breath again and his lips had treaded on her forehead.

Anakin's smile was ghostly.

"You don't need to be worried about me."

His lips came back to her neck then mouth and she savored the feel of his lips against hers, sighing, her hands tightening their grip on his tunic.

But her hands suddenly met air and before she knew it – _she could still taste him on her lips_- he had turned and left for the back entrance of the Palace.

The dark cloak was trailing behind him menacingly until he disappeared in the distance.

Padmé's legs felt weak and she had to lean against the wall for support.

* * *

Everything was deathly silent when Padmé shut the doors behind her, coming back into the living room.

She figured she might look slightly flushed but couldn't care less.

Anakin's departure was already hard to stand.

"Are you alright?" Sola asked, making her sit down immediately.

Padmé nodded weakly.

"Anakin's left."

"What do you mean by 'left'?" her sister didn't fail to ask.

There was surprise and contentment on her guests' faces.

"A mission," Padmé grumbled.

Darred looked at his wife meaningfully.

"This could be the chance. We can help you-"

"But you don't understand, do you?" Padmé's eyes bore into her sister's. "I'm the one grounding him to the light."

–_Really? Is it still true now?- _

She ignored her inner voice impatiently. "Without me, he would tear the whole galaxy apart…" Her sister only crossed her arms tightly. "And believe it or not… I love him," she added quietly.

"But this is the perfect time!" Sola countered. "Grab your children and leave now!"

Padmé only shook her head, too tired to go on with this.

After a while, her older sister sighed. "That you are too afraid to leave him for some reason or another…" A pause. "That is your choice even though I'm afraid of what will happen to your children." Silence. Padmé closed her eyes tightly. She didn't want to think about this… Not now.

"But what about your role as the brand new Empress?" Sola's brown eyes were shining with accusation again.

"That is just a ruse." Padmé admitted quietly. "My plan is to progressively bring the galaxy back to democracy. I am more useful here in the realms of power than out there, helping the few people resisting."

Silence.

Padmé realized it was the first time she had ever explained her plot to someone. It felt liberating.

Anakin wasn't there anymore. He was becoming more and more distant as the minutes ticked by.

"That is…what you are doing now, what you've been doing all along? You are plotting behind his back?"

The sudden vulnerability in her sister's voice would have been touching _- she wanted to believe in her so much…_if Padmé hadn't been suddenly back to business, the light shining in her eyes.

"I have all the power up there. Anakin trusts me blindly. I am the one taking the decisions! And soon… _very soon_, I will free the galaxy." In other times, Padmé would have noticed the almost megalomania of her sentences but she was too far gone in the hope of a better future to notice. "But please…" she looked at her mother and niece meaningfully. "Please, keep this to yourself. This needs to stay secret. I can't afford to lose Anakin's trust. And I don't want to," she added almost as an afterthought.

Sola's head fell into her hands.

"I knew you weren't bad, Auntie!" Ryoo exclaimed for the first time, brown eyes akin to hers shining with admiration. "I always believed in you!"

"Thanks, sweetie…" the young woman smiled, holding out a hand towards the little girl who came into her arms easily and holding her close.

"It sounds impossible, Padmé…" Sola's voice came out of her joined hands. She looked up, suddenly looking very tired. "I believe in you," she said softly, "or at least I _want _to believe in you, but you can't do all this alone…"

"It does sound impossible," Darred agreed. "We all know your talents in the political area but alone, without awakening anyone's suspicion, bringing a whole galaxy back to democracy?" He shook his head. "I am not even sure the people in this galaxy want democracy. When you listen to some people sometimes, you are disgusted with them," he said bitterly.

Jobal sighed. "I agree with Darred. You cannot save people against their own will."

"Some of them are resisting," Padmé replied quietly. "And soon enough they will all see the light. In time, they will. Remember what I always said about democracy?"

Her mother smiled good-naturedly.

"Democracy isn't about what the people want but about what they need, right? Your dad used to say this to you despite the Youth legislature program sayings…"

Padmé smiled back at her and felt suddenly at ease for the first time in forever. At least her family supported her. And she didn't feel alone in this knowledge anymore.

"But this is dangerous-" Jobal added earnestly.

"Dad would be proud of you." Sola interrupted, smiling at her despite her tear-filled eyes.

Padmé caught the glint of mischief in her eyes and smiled in return.

* * *

It was time to part much too soon.

Padmé fought against the lump in her throat as she watched her dear family walk away from the Palace. Night engulfed hands waving at her from afar.

Security was accompanying them back home.

Where she was forbidden to go.

Padmé's mind flashed to her father, there at home, probably looking at the same stars she was now. With that probable sense of loss in his chest as well.

He was so stubborn.

But again, so was she.

And things looked better now.

Now her family knew. They could tell Ruwee, explain, make him understand… Her breath materialized in the fresh air of night.

Padmé's face was exuding peace for once.

Then she remembered Anakin leaving and his comfort gone –_in his eyes, she was still Padmé and he wasn't afraid of that darkness lurking inside her and scaring her and she already missed his presence and his touch and- _

Closing her eyes and feeling a slight breeze on her face, she prayed the Force to bring Anakin back to her unharmed.

She hoped he would succeed and she hoped he would fail. She wanted Anakin to find Obi-Wan and kill him.

_Kill…_

And she hoped he did not.

She couldn't have Obi-Wan's blood on her conscience.

She needed Anakin's soul to come back as intact as possible.


	36. Chapter 28 a

Hello, everyone!

Sorry for the delay! Thank you for the wonderful reviews. I'm astounded to see this fic get so many reviews still.

Here's next chapter. It's divided into three parts. For people who thought nothing much was going on, I'm sure you'll be happy now... Things are going to change.

This chapter is short but I'll try to post the next two parts quickly. Thanks so much for taking the time to read!

* * *

**Chapter 28 a/**

"Help me with that, will you?"

Moving towards the beeping console, Obi-Wan Kenobi addressed a smile to the young boy standing beside him. Around them, the geothermal power rods were buzzing with electricity. Obi-Wan could almost see the transfer of warm energy from the planet core with his own eyes. Fascinated, he stared at the dazzling lightning emerging from its center.

Turning back to his apprentice of sorts, he noticed the boy's hands were clutched together in obvious enthusiasm as the padawan fidgeted on his feet.

"What do you need, Master?"

"I already told you, Lainé. No, 'Master', please. Just 'Obi-Wan'." he replied very quietly. Bending down to the console on the ground, Obi-Wan started fixing the alarms.

Right now, he would _really_ need a clever droid.

_Artoo would have fixed it already._

The thought came. Just like that. Out of nowhere.

Obi-Wan's gaze wandered in the small dusty room.

"It's hard to call you anything but that," the boy broke through his musing suddenly. "To me, to _us_, you're still Master Kenobi, member of the High Council." There was mute reverence in the way Lainé spelled out the old name of the Jedi solemn gathering.

Obi-Wan looked up from the console.

"There's no longer any Council." A sigh. "We're all the same now."

His gaze darkened.

"Survivors."

Lainé's face sobered. The former Master turned back to the console and pointed a finger to a red light on his right.

"This one… I need you to fix this one, please."

The boy knelt down beside him and they both worked in silence for a good part of the evening.

* * *

Stepping outside the huge cavern sheltering the primary source of energy, Obi-Wan took a deep breath and savored the fresh small wind on his face. The rustle of the enormous trees leaves around him was very quiet, creating a warm and sheltered atmosphere. He could see his companions shuffling about in their somewhat rustic settlement. Very few younglings had survived but they were helping the older ones as much as they could. Lainé waved at him from afar and he couldn't fight a smile in return. One of the older Jedi looked at him in the distance, asking a silent question about the power rods. Obi-Wan nodded mutely. Barriss Offee passed him by, a reassuring hand on his arm as she started going down the huge cavern's length. The ladder moved slightly. She had stopped.

"Are you all right, M-Obi-Wan?" she caught herself.

He nodded, still silent.

Barriss' eyes had changed, he noticed as she moved down again.

The young Jedi had witnessed so many deaths that night in the Temple. It haunted her still, he could see that. She had been one of the very _very_ few escaping the Temple that night.

When he was in a quiet mood, Obi-Wan wondered if Anakin, if _maybe_ Anakin…

…hadn't spared her life.

But then he remembered the younglings.

Oh, _then_ he remembered.

There had been no mercy.

Only the Force had spared Barriss' life.

_Only the Force._

Whatever that meant.

He sighed into the silent night.

Patience was the key. It might take them years, but they would be strong enough in the end. As long as they could gather here peacefully, there would always be time to rebuild a semblance of Jedi Order.

As it was now, things were still too raw to get involved with the Rebellion just now.

Anakin had left an imprint forever.

A bitter smile crept on the Jedi's face. His mechanical hand clenched automatically.

Hadn't it been what his former apprentice wanted back then? Leaving something behind? Being regarded as the greatest Jedi ever?

Now he would be remembered forever.

A perpetuator of genocide.

Killer of his own kind.

* * *

In the endless sea of stars, a starship emerged from hyperspace, shuddering above the green planet. Through his cockpit window, the Emperor was contemplating the vast expanse below.

His astromech droid was beeping some responses.

Casting a glance at the screen before him, he only nodded.

Too bad he had left R2-D2 back on Naboo. It had seemed silly but it had been reassuring to leave him in the Palace to watch on Padmé and the children.

But now he was listening to cold and clinical responses from an astromech droid which had no idea what it was talking about.

It said the planet below did not exist. And yet it stood right before him.

It also said there was strictly nothing to see right below.

But Vader knew better. It was bristling with energy, _dark_ energy. And a powerful Force user was down there, waiting.

He smirked and plunged down.

* * *

The darkness was pervading the whole place. Quietness punctuated with harsh cries of birds flying far above. Mud and trees everywhere.

Vader waited, quietly. He was expected, he could feel it. Just as he had felt the Force beckoning here, near a fallen tree, waiting.

"Young Skywalker."

He frowned.

Not quite what he had expected.

Turning around, he eyed the Jedi standing in the distance. With this dim light and the worn-out clothes on his small frame, the _great_ Master Yoda didn't look really threatening.

He let a cold smile settle on his face.

_Oh, that was even better than what he had expected._

"Master Yoda!" He bowed mockingly.

How many times in Council meetings had he had to bow before those imbeciles?

"So this is where you live," he went on when the small Jedi Master still didn't move or say anything. "Good metaphor for the state of the Jedi order, don't you think?"

The Master was still silent.

In his eyes he could only read…

His jaw clenched.

"Stop looking at me like that," Vader snapped.

The old Jedi leant on his cane and moved forward slightly.

"Only pity for you now I feel, young Skywalker."

Vader rolled his eyes significantly. He had forgotten that annoying backward speech…

"Pity? Who here is living in mud, _alone_ now his kind has been wiped out," he added cruelly, "and whose highlight of the day is waiting for a visit from his enemy?" He chuckled. "I have _everything_ and you have nothing, you and your pitiful kind."

Yoda didn't respond. Still watched him with those stupid sad eyes of his.

Then he spoke very quietly.

"Think you have everything, you do… But only darkness you have. And swallow you it will."

"Is that all?" Vader responded, fighting against laughter. "You and your Jedi friends never dared touch the dark side and that's why you lost. You were always so afraid of everything… Afraid of touching power. Of making attachments. Of feeling what life has always been about. No, _really_, Master Yoda. I do pity _you_."

Silence.

This conversation was getting too long for the Emperor's liking.

"I wasn't looking for you actually", he went on when the Jedi obviously didn't wish to respond, "but one more dead Jedi is always better than nothing, I suppose." Taking his lightsaber off his hip, he pressed his gloved fingers on the cold material. "I only have one question before you die, Master Yoda.

"Where's Kenobi?"

The Master stayed mute and only tilted his head on one side, seemingly listening to something.

Vader looked up, annoyed, almost sensing something in the air.

"Where is he?" he repeated.

Yoda was mumbling something.

_"Too far gone, he is. Impossible for me, this is."_

Vader stared at him incredulously. The supposedly greatest Jedi ever had gone mad on his muddy planet. No better revenge than this moment, he reflected.

They were literally worlds apart.

But this was becoming incredibly tiresome.

"Yoda." He snapped. "I won't ask twice. Tell me where Kenobi is."

Yoda's eyes refocused on him.

"Know this, I do not. And if I did, think I would tell you, do you?"

There was something close to mischief on Yoda's face and Vader hated it.

"Alright. Enough small talk."

His lightsaber came to life in his hand at once. He studied the blue blade silently. The Jedi still hadn't drawn his. The small Master only wobbled on his cane towards a nearby tree trunk and sat down quietly.

"Led you to find me, I have. Important things, tell you, I thought I could."

"I don't care about those," Vader only spat. "Just take your Jedi weapon. I always wanted to see how good of a sparring partner you were said to be."

Yoda sighed.

"Never a patient one…" he murmured to no one in particular.

"I am getting tired of this!" the young Sith exploded. "Try to die with some dignity at least."

The Jedi's eyes became malicious in the dim light.

"Dignity, have _you_? An unarmed Jedi, kill, you want to. Like the younglings?"

Vader's heart tightened.

"Now, that's enough," he responded darkly.

The darkness seemed more important, oppressing him. He revelled in it, drew to him the dark side the place exuded.

Somewhere in the distance, he heard a feeble whisper, lost in the wind. The syllables detached themselves, swirled around him.

_Anakin…_

_Anakin…_

Yoda's eyes shone in the darkness, observing, _judging_. In them, he saw the same despise he had always felt around those of his kind.

In them, he saw his crimes and his conscience.

The whisper around him grew more insistent.

_Don't…_

_Please, Anakin, don't…_

But he was a Sith.

And Sith never looked back.

In one swift movement, his blade went through the small body of the Jedi. In another quick movement, his lightsaber was back to his hip _-a permanent –painful?- reminder of everything he stood for._

Looking into Yoda's still calm eyes as he towered over the tiny Master, he found himself unable to bite out a sarcastic reply. He slowly felt the life fleeing the Jedi.

"Too late for you, it is, young Sky-wal-ker…" the old Master's now weak voice resonated around them.

Vader heard something in reply.

A whisper.

An admission.

"It's always been too late."

He almost startled, surprised.

This whisper couldn't possibly be out of his own mouth.

And yet… he recognized the mournful tone. The one he only used when he felt warm arms around him that reminded him he wasn't alone. Not totally.

Yoda shuddered and that was all. His eyes closed and Vader felt like…

…he hadn't won the battle.

He had lost.

Swallowing unwelcome feelings, he let his voice resonate loud and clear in the deadly quiet forest.

"Now you can join your blessed Force… And you were right, it _is_ a moment for rejoicing."

Nothing answered him.

_How all of this seems so useless and empty…_

The harsh bird cries above his head seemed to intensify.

The whisper grew more intense…

_Anakin…_

His lips tightened into a thin line.

He still had to find Obi-Wan.

The Emperor turned away and didn't look back.

Behind him, the tiny Jedi body gradually disappeared and the whisper grew silent.


	37. Chapter 28 b

Hello!

Thank you so much for the reviews! It's always very warming to see them coming into my inbox! I see some of you were surprised at Yoda's demise (some even approved! :o).

Someone requested a little refreshing on the latest events. Anakin has left to find Obi-Wan and destroy him once and for all. The latter is hiding on a hidden planet with the last remaining Jedi. On his quest Anakin found Yoda in the last place obi-Wan was traced (ie Dagobah) and killed him. Meanwhile Padmé is trying to mend her relationship with her family and revealed her intents, ie trying to salvage the galaxy by using the power Anakin gave her. But she's beginning to doubt herself lately as power is destructive. There is another reason too but this one will play a part later.

In this chapter Anakin makes progress in his quest. The impending fight with Obi-Wan is coming closer...

There will be a chapter 28 c next.

As always, I thank my beta, leia_naberrie, for well, everything. I probably said it already but she's the reason I'm posting this at all. :)

* * *

**Chapter 28 b/**

"Padmé!"

The equally surprised and joyful cry was soon followed by arms pressed tightly around the young woman's tiny form.

Padmé smiled genuinely and hugged her mother back.

After a while spent in her daughter's embrace, Jobal stepped back and ushered her inside. Padmé removed her hood swiftly, taking in her surroundings, still smiling as she heard the familiar hissing of the front door closing behind her.

_Home._

"Hasn't changed a bit," she murmured, taking off her heavy robe and putting it on the sofa.

"Where are the twins?" Her mother asked, urging her to sit down beside her on the couch.

"They're in the Palace," Padmé responded, her eyes still roaming over the familiar furniture of her parents' living room. "I kind of sneaked out of there," she elaborated, her gaze finally resting on her mother's confused face. "But I didn't want to risk their safety in any way. They're inside the Palace with the entire Queen's staff to watch over them."

_Not to mention, Threepio and Artoo._

Her mother's eyebrows rose slightly.

"They're more protected than the Queen herself," Padmé insisted.

Leaving the Palace had been very difficult. In her mind, Padmé couldn't chase away the nagging picture of Obi-Wan sneaking in to kidnap her children. She had felt very guilty about it -_still did if she was honest with herself_- but had decided it would be best for them to stay there under Artoo's watch…

… thus respecting her promise to Anakin…

_Well, almost._

But Padmé had never been afraid for her own safety and she wasn't about to start now. As long as her children were safe, nothing and no one would ever keep her away from her family. Especially one member she really needed to see. After two days spent torturing herself over her father who hadn't made any sign to her and wanting to escape the temptation to meddle with Imperial affairs again, she had decided that a bit of fresh air would do her some good.

"I wasn't trying to make you feel guilty, dearie," Jobal smiled. "I know all too well how I felt the rare times I left you and Sola at home with one of my sisters to get sometime alone with your father. I'm sure they're very well-protected there."

Padmé smiled in return, feeling a little bit more at ease.

"Speaking of which," her mother continued. "I suppose you came here to see your father."

Padmé's smile grew wistful.

"Is he here?"

_Does he even want to see me?_ She wanted to ask but the words stayed stuck in her throat.

"He's still at the university but he'll be back soon. Do you want anything, sweetheart?" Jobal got up and moved in the direction of the kitchen. "I'm calling Sola; she'll be overjoyed to see you here."

Before she could say anything, Padmé could hear the old-fashioned kettle working and her mother dialling the holo comm. The young woman couldn't fight a smile.

_Some things truly didn't change._

* * *

"Your Highness."

Darth Vader impatiently Force-pushed the aide away. He heard stumbling and apologies behind him but didn't even look back, striding confidently inside the Alderaan Palace.

As he reached the bottom of the majestic stairs, he spotted a brown-haired woman sitting there, a toddler in her arms. The girl was crying silently, big tears falling on her cheeks. The woman looked up as he advanced towards her.

The expression on her face was pure loathing.

The Emperor briefly thought she exuded more bravery than all his men combined with one look. She knew what it would cost her but she met his eyes with conviction and with no hint of fear. She oddly reminded him of Mon Mothma alone in her cell, regarding him with scorn even as the clothes on her frail body were smoking after the Force-lightning onslaught.

"Queen Organa."

She didn't answer.

His eyes briefly rested on the small girl who was now quiet in her mother's arms. Brown eyes that were way too wise for her age looked up into his.

He looked away.

His lips tightened into a fine line, he resumed his way to where Bail Organa was kept under tight watch.

Two guards opened the double doors leading to the King's office.

Organa didn't even look his way when he stepped inside and the doors clicked shut behind him.

"Leave us alone," Vader declared without preamble. The clonetroopers and various officers left the room immediately.

"King Organa," Vader smiled tightly, letting his gloved hand stray on the spotless desk.

Organa was still standing in front of the window, unmoving.

"I suppose you remember how last time went, don't you?"

Darth Vader let a smug grin settle on his lips, remembering how good it had felt to let his rage at Padmé's betrayal out on someone. But now he wasn't really keen on doing this again. He needed to find the Jedi as fast as possible. The more time he spent out there, the more unprotected Padmé and the children were on Naboo.

Not to mention he was _really_ impatient to see Obi-Wan again.

In the window's reflection, he watched Bail Organa's eyes flicker to his.

"Tell me Kenobi's location and there'll be no need for torture," he said matter-of-factly.

The older man snorted slightly.

"Be clever for once in your life," Vader barked, growing impatient. "I know Kenobi hasn't been on Alderaan lately but he's left his hiding place… I don't picture the all-noble Obi-Wan Kenobi leaving the very old Yoda," he couldn't help a snort at that, "alone on his muddy planet without a very good reason. And a good reason would be…" he came closer to the man, saw his spine stiffen at his slow approach. "Joining the remaining Jedi. Those you mentioned in that last so-called _secure_ transmission you sent him…"

Silence. He waited, watched as Organa's eyes grew a little bit worried on the reflection. _Good._

"It means you sent him the location through a transmission if he never came to Alderaan, am I right?" He studied his gloved hand and moved around Organa to watch the landscape below them.

He shook his head dramatically.

"That wasn't very clever …"

Bail chose this moment to turn to him.

"I won't tell you anything, Vader."

The young Emperor only smiled.

"My men are already picking apart all the transmissions you sent these past few months. It is only a matter of time before I find out his location."

"If your men are already working on it, then you don't need me, _Your Highness_," Organa replied with a hint of mirth in his voice.

"If I'm losing my time here," Vader replied, feeling himself _really_ growing impatient with this little exchange, "it is only to spare you a painful moment for my wife's sake."

Organa didn't respond.

"Tell me where he is!"

"I won't say a thing…" the other man murmured. "Now go ahead and torture me for all I care."

"Fine," the Emperor answered, his smile widening in a cruel grin. "But since I am quite in a hurry, I won't waste my time trying to break your mind. I am sure we will find common ground on something, _Bail_."

"Meaning?" the former Senator was stiff, growing more worried at the second.

"Meaning that we all have our weaknesses…" He murmured, settling his gaze on Organa. "I am sure you will be more cooperative after I take care of your wife and daughter."

He would've been in admiration of Organa's nerve as the man launched at him angrily if he wasn't this close to losing his temper. Swiftly, he caught the older man's arm and snapped it back angrily. The sound of broken bones filled the room as the King fell on his knees, biting his lip to stifle the pain.

"Did we reach an agreement?" the Emperor spat angrily.

"You wouldn't dare…" Organa struggled to say, panting. "You- you have a daughter- the same age- you wouldn't dare!"

With a wistful smile, Vader bent so his eyes were at the King's level.

"I killed children," he said very quietly. "I wouldn't necessarily like to torture a child but I would do it if that got you to talk more quickly, King Organa." He paused, watching the fear color the man's eyes. "I will stop at nothing to get to Kenobi. _Nothing_. Now give me his location and I give you my word they'll be left out of this. You'll be arrested and join Mothma in her stinking cell but they'll be allowed to stay here. Unharmed."

A pause.

"Do we have an agreement?"

"Your word means nothing to me," Organa said very quietly.

"I was only asking to be polite," Vader retorted. "Either you give me this location quickly or I will make sure I rip your mind apart _after_ you watched your precious wife and daughter getting tortured in front of you."

There was a long silence.

He watched emotionlessly as the older man, King of his planet, his head bowed, squeezed his broken arm painfully. A lone tear silently went down the former Senator's cheek.

"So… do we have a deal?"

* * *

She laughed.

Hard.

She laughed and laughed until her belly hurt but she didn't mind.

"And do you remember…" Sola couldn't even get the words out of her mouth before she giggled again and Padmé joined in.

They were sitting in the backyard, sipping on their shuura juices while watching Ryoo and Pooja play on the grass. Somewhere in the discussion, the two sisters had started talking about school and were currently remembering with glee one of Sola's more entertaining professors. Between the school memories and the family ones, Padmé had to wipe her eyes from tears caused by so much laughter.

She hadn't laughed like that in a very long time.

The sun was comforting on her face, the slight wind was rustling the tree leaves and everything felt peaceful, just as she remembered.

She could stay here forever.

Closing her eyes and relaxing, her smile grew wider.

She pictured Luke and Leia chasing each other in this garden just like Pooja and Ryoo were doing just now. Beside her Anakin could sit there, an adorable smile on his face just like that time when-

The reverie stopped there and Padmé opened her eyes swiftly, feeling the familiar pang in her chest.

She had no time machine to make it right.

As if on cue, she spotted Ruwee Naberrie standing there in the distance.

He was watching her silently, making no move towards her.

Sola looked at the two of them but stayed silent.

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, Padmé stood up and took hesitant steps towards her father. His face was stern. In his eyes she only saw condemnation but also deep sadness. For the first time Padmé reflected her father was really suffering from this situation.

She stopped in front of him, her fingers laced in anxiety, just like when she was a small girl and she was so afraid of disappointing him.

The young woman opened her mouth to say something but only tears escaped her eyes.

Without thinking, she threw herself into her father's arms and squeezed him tightly.

Before she knew it she was sobbing.

"I'm sorry…. Please, I'm so sorry…." She whispered hoarsely. "Forgive me… _Please_, Dad, forgive me…"

_Forgive her for what?_

She no longer knew. There were too many things to choose from and right now she was no longer the most important woman in the whole of galaxy.

Strong arms encircled her suddenly.

Ruwee murmured her name against her hair tearfully.

She squeezed her eyes shut, revelling in her father's embrace.

* * *

"Do you think you will make it, Padmé?"

They were watching the sun sink into the horizon, casting its orange light on her peaceful backyard. Beside her, her father was silent as they sat on the same wooden chairs Padmé remembered from her childhood. Telling him of her plan had seemed necessary and she had felt relieved when he said he was proud of her for trying.

He still didn't understand a thing about her relationship with Anakin though but she couldn't really blame him.

Sometime she had trouble understanding everything herself.

What mattered right now was their renewed relationship.

She sighed again.

"I don't know", she admitted with a half smile.

They settled into a comfortable silence.

"You are my daughter, Padmé." Ruwee said suddenly. "Even if I was disappointed in you for all that happened, you were still my daughter, remember that" he whispered, visibly tearful.

She fought against the tears herself and only nodded.

"I'm looking forward to meeting Leia and Luke", he said a little bit more cheerfully.

Padmé grinned.

"I am too."

A few minutes passed and Padmé reflected she should really start going home now. It would be dark soon.

Ruwee spoke again, surprising her.

"I am a member of the Alliance," he revealed. "But I want you to know you can always count on me, should the need arise. I could secure an escape, anything."

They were supposed to be enemies, Padmé reflected at her father's revelation and understanding his dilemma a little bit more. But now she knew he was aware they were truly serving the same cause.

"We will make it," she smiled. "I have faith in this galaxy. I'll make it work," she answered his initial question.

He took her hand gently as he always did when she was a little girl and smiled.

"My defender of the oppressed and the poor. That's my daughter."

They turned back to the setting sun peacefully.

* * *

"Search Arbra in the base system", the Emperor spat as he emerged from Bail Organa's office, turning to one of his aides who was waiting for him outside.

"I want you to transfer Organa to the high security jail on Coruscant. He'll be glad to find his comrade Mothma there, I suppose… We'll see to his punishment later with the high judges," he added as an afterthought.

"What of his wife and child, Your Majesty?"

"They'll be placed in seclusion here in the Palace," was his only reply as he left the corridor without a backward glance.

Passing by Breha Organa and her daughter again, he didn't spare them a glance as he walked out of the great hall.

"What have you done to my husband?" the Queen's shaky voice resonated from behind him.

He didn't respond.

"You monster!"

This time he stopped, turning around and waltzing back to where the Queen was standing on shaky legs, her infant daughter still sitting on the stairs.

"You and your child have only been spared thanks to my _great_ generosity, Queen Organa," he spat angrily. "Pray I don't alter the deal I made with your husband," he threatened, his icy blue eyes boring into the Queen's.

She looked down despite the effort it obviously cost her.

"I understand."

A pause.

Breha Organa bit her lip very hard.

"I thank you, Your Highness."

He smirked.

"There, much better," he couldn't help but gloat.

He turned away from the family, the smirk still firmly in place.

Now he was no longer disgusted with himself for offering Organa a way out, one that didn't include torturing him to death.

Humiliation was definitely much more satisfying.

_Where were all those sacred principles when it truly mattered?_

Vader allowed himself a chuckle. The small laughter reverberated in the great hall. He could feel the Queen's intense sadness and shame sweep through him and he drew on the feelings like a lifeline.

He figured Organa must be ashamed of himself and that thought brought him more satisfaction than even Breha Organa's crumbling composure did.

_And at last_, he reflected, leaving the majestic Palace behind him…

…_in a few hours the few remaining Jedi will be completely wiped out of the galaxy._


	38. Chapter 28 c

Hey!

Here's the last part of Chapter 28. Anakin is reaching his goal.

Hope you enjoy this!

* * *

**Chapter 28 c/**

It looked like any other underdeveloped forest planet.

And yet….

Even from his cockpit, Darth Vader could feel the Force literally blazing there like nowhere else.

He would've even appreciated the beauty of its lakes if he wasn't already _very_ frustrated.

It turned out Arbra was even closer to Naboo than Yoda's muddy planet was.

_All this way to Alderaan to discover that Obi-Wan had been right beside him all along._

The irony would've made him laugh in other times but now it downright irritated him. He had only resisted the urge to drop on Naboo on his way at the realization Obi-Wan could flee anytime. Not to mention that perspective of so many Jedi gathering in one place.

A quick holo communication to Padmé while he was in hyperspace had done nothing to alleviate his fears. She had looked happy and peaceful and even though he had loved seeing her like that, he couldn't help but wonder what she was hiding from him.

_Always… the doubts… the suspicion…_

_Would they ever stop?_

He had only been able to muster a tight smile at her and not many words were exchanged, to her obvious disappointment. He was too wound up with energy and his own need to hide her Bail Organa's arrest for now to say much.

But everyone there was fine. Everything would be even better soon.

Refocusing on the forest below, he stretched out his senses carefully and sensed the Jedi camp almost right away.

_All too easy._

* * *

This was a bright and beautiful day.

The young woman grinned as she drew back the heavy curtains in her children's room. Squinting at the bright sunlight, Padmé felt a rush of adrenaline shoot through her. And not because there was something important to be done in the Imperial Senate. Or because Anakin was touching her.

No.

Because a new day was here and she felt very much alive.

And hopeful.

She had lost this sensation so long ago and it was like rediscovering to breathe after her long coma. Nothing could possibly go wrong with such a beautiful landscape in front of her.

"See! A brand new day!" Padmé cooed to her children. Artoo beeped his way in. "Hello, Artoo!" She addressed him as enthusiastically.

The droid replied with an unenthusiastic beep.

"Stop arguing with Threepio!" She advised with a bright smile. "I don't think he's good to you, you know…"

Turning away, she picked up Luke who looked a little bit more awake than his sister who was turning away from the sun sleepily.

"Hello, my beautiful boy!"

Luke only cuddled close to her in his always so calm demeanor.

A few handmaidens were standing in silence in the back of the room but they didn't even register in Padmé's mind. Even they couldn't annoy her in a day like this.

The little droid was beeping again though.

"Artoo, I'm not Anakin, you know I don't understand a thing of what you're saying without Threepio. I'll activate him in a minute, I promise."

Kissing the crown of Luke's blond hair, she reached the adjoining bathroom to prepare him for the day.

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi paced the floor of the power source cavern in nervousness.

"What is it, Obi-Wan?"

The unexpected question stopped Obi-Wan's pacing immediately. Stroking his beard, he stood there silently for a while.

"There's a disturbance in the Force," he finally said quietly.

Sitting on the dusty floor, Barriss Offee's eyes strayed on the geometrical power rods out of habit.

"Same as what you felt… that day?"

He shook his head impatiently.

What he felt then was still haunting him. It had felt like someone was snuffing out the last candle in the night, shutting out all the light efficiently.

It had felt like death.

Vader.

He was closer. He could _feel_ it.

"I think we should move. Away from here."

That got Barriss on her feet immediately.

"But why? Is it….?"

She didn't dare voice Anakin's new name aloud and he couldn't blame her.

"Maybe," he sighed deeply. "I'm no longer connected to An-_Vader_ the way I used to be but I can feel the dark side surrounding him." His eyes bore into the younger Jedi's. "I _felt_ it the day I fought him. And I can feel it now. It might be a matter of _hours_ now and I can no longer ignore it."

"The dark side is powerful in this place," Barriss tried, more to reassure herself than anything.

"The light side here is just as powerful, you know that, Barriss, this is why the Jedi chose this planet in the first place," he explained as gently as he could muster. "It far outweighs any dark side."

The young woman was grasping at straws but she wouldn't panic. He knew this and that was why he had chosen to tell her everything.

"The _very _few people knowing the existence of our camp are trustworthy people."

"But no one can resist the kind of mind probes Vader uses, especially when they're no Jedi," Obi-Wan replies darkly.

Barriss took a deep breath and slowly nodded.

"What are we waiting for, then?"

He smirked.

They started ascending the stairs leading to the surface.

And everything changed abruptly.

Noises erupted above. Above him, Barriss' body stilled.

Obi-Wan's blood turned to ice.

He knew those screams.

They were the screams of the dying and agonizing. They were the sound of chaos and hell.

He had been too late.

"_Force! Force…_"

It took him a while to realize that the fiercely whispered words were coming from Barriss whose hands were clutching the bars so tight she had stopped moving.

"Barriss…"

He moved closer as the sounds of fighting and yells could still be heard from the outside.

"We have to go up…" he whispered. "We can't stay here; you know we can't. We have to help them."

A sob erupted from Barriss' chest.

"I couldn't save anyone… I couldn't-" she choked on the words. "_Oh, please, not again…_"

He sighed, feeling death and emptiness slowly filling that part of his Force awareness that was quickly dimming to nothing.

"Stay down there, then," he whispered, moving his way past her carefully.

"Obi-Wan!" Her hand shot out and gripped his leg tightly. From where he was, she looked like a child.

But he had no time for that.

"Quick!" He urged her, turning away from her without another word and ascending the stairs as fast as he could.

His mechanical hand urged him on.

Behind him, he could feel Barriss straining to catch up with him, renewed resolution obviously filling her.

He would allow himself a smile for that later.

When he reached the surface, alit lightsaber already in hand, he could only see chaos and dead Jedi on the cold floor. In the distance, a blue lightsaber was dancing in the air, mercilessly cutting off two Jedi's heads. Force lightning flew past flesh fingertips to hit Padawans whose lightsaber fell to the floor as yells of agony were taken out of their mouth.

"Anakin!"

He hadn't meant to call him this way but the words had flown past his lips before he knew it.

The carnage stopped and Obi-Wan watched as several older Jedis fled while some took the opportunity to take their weapons again, ready to attack the Sith.

Vader was there, in the distance, smirking.

"Don't call me that."

"Stop this," Obi-Wan said calmly. "You came here for me, didn't you?"

He took several steps to join him near the camp. Several Padawans were watching them, knees pressed to their chests, eyes widened in fear.

"Let them go…" he whispered as he reached Vader, whose blue sword was still alit.

Obi-Wan could almost see the blood on this _Jedi _weapon.

Vader laughed, that laughter Obi-Wan never knew and which froze him to the core.

"Let go of the last Jedi in the whole Empire?"

"But look at them!" Obi-Wan let out between clenched teeth, gesturing towards the terrified padawans between them. He felt himself so close to the edge, the old feeling he had when Qui-Gon died in his arms hitting him in full vengeance.

_He would not heed to those feelings. He would not._

"They're children, for Force's sake! You've got children of your own!"

That wiped Vader's smirk out of his face in a second.

Obi-Wan only realized his mistake when he found himself projected several feet away, collapsing against a tree. He groaned painfully.

"Obi-Wan!"

Barriss' voice sounded from far away and he watched, his head still spinning as he sat up, as Vader stopped to a halt upon seeing her.

"Barriss."

"Anakin, please…" she started to whisper.

But Vader recovered his composure quickly enough.

"Guess I didn't do my job well that night," he uttered through clenched teeth," first all those padawans, now, _you_. Tell me, Barriss…" He whispered, coming closer to the young Jedi.

Obi-Wan struggled to get up, an uneasy feeling coming into him.

"How did you escape?"

The young woman was no longer moving, a resigned look on her face as the Sith towered over her.

"Did you let your comrades die? You fled, didn't you?"

She looked down.

"I hate cowards even more than I hate your lot," Vader barked.

"You were once a Jedi, like us," Barriss Offee looked up defiantly. "You were the best Jedi," she added wistfully. "And you betrayed us."

Vader's nostrils flared.

His eyes turned cold and Obi-Wan knew what was coming before the Sith even made a move. Lightning hit Barriss square in the chest and she fell to her knees, screaming in pain.

Several Jedi ran towards them in response, Jedi weapon in their hands. Obi-Wan leapt to his feet and put his lightsaber between Barriss and Vader in one swift move. Immediately, Vader stopped his Force lightning and smirked.

"This is between us…" Obi-Wan whispered, stepping back and watching as Vader lightened his sword. "Don't intervene!" The Jedi Master advised to his brethren.

"Long time no see, Obi-Wan…" Vader murmured as if to himself. And at that, he turned off his lightsaber and put it back on his belt.

If he hadn't known better, Obi-Wan would've started to hope.

Hope Qui-Gon had been right and he could bring Anakin back.

But Obi-Wan knew better.

The man in front of him was _evil_.

And this man wouldn't stop until he was sure there was no longer any suffering he could provoke.

Vader smirked and looked around, crossing his arms. Obi-Wan stayed alert, his weapon still firmly in hand, ready for anything.

"Had a hard time finding you, you know."

"I should hope so," Obi-Wan responded, watching out of the corner of his eye as several Jedi took Barriss' unconscious body out of the way.

"Well, if I'm being honest with you, Obi-Wan… It wasn't that hard. Bail Organa gave it to me on a silver plate."

The Master didn't respond, starting to see where Vader was going with this.

"I didn't torture him or anything… He just gave me the planet. Just like that. Like the coward he is."

"Bail Organa is much braver than you'll ever be, Vader," the Jedi spat.

"Is it that hard to believe one of your friends could betray you, Obi-Wan?"

In his former apprentice blue eyes, he could only read evilness. No yellow eyes like last time, but cold blue ones, which reached deeper into his soul. Taunting, searching for weaknesses.

Like a real Sith.

When Obi-Wan didn't take the hint, Vader visibly turned to another target.

"Nice place, here… Much better than your earlier muddy planet, right?"

Obi-Wan felt his blood freeze inside his veins.

"What have you done?" he could only whisper.

But Vader only smirked and turned to his former fellows who were standing in silence at a good distance around them.

"Your all-mighty Master Yoda joined the Force!" He turned back to Obi-Wan triumphantly. "Do you realize it now, Obi-Wan? No one can stand against me… I killed Sidious and Yoda very, _very_ easily. And you think you have a chance, you and your pitiful little band of survivors? How is that mechanical hand doing by the way?"

Obi-Wan didn't recognize his own voice as he launched forward with a cry.

_At last._

Vader let his laughter resonate in the very silent forest as Obi-Wan launched forward. His own lightsaber had sprung in his hand easily enough, effortlessly parrying one of Obi-Wan's thrusts. They moved into a well-known dance, one very different from the last though, for his former Master was now playing according to _his_ rules.

He wanted to know and see how strong his Master really was, with the dark side closer than it ever was for the obnoxiously perfect Jedi. He wanted to beat him at his full potential and _that_ included the dark side. Not a dying green Master, not an old man, his _Master_, the one who taught him everything, he wanted to beat him before slaughtering all his remaining companions. He wanted to beat him after showing him his darker side.

_Oh, glorious day_.

Obi-Wan's thrusts were more efficient and precise and he met them with equal force, jumping and projecting the Force on him. His former Master reacted as forcefully though, surprising him. His attempt at throwing Force lightning were averted too and Vader felt an eyebrow rise at the new challenge presented to him. How long had it been since he had felt challenged?

Far too long.

He wanted to savour his victory.

Their swords clashed forward, and separated, a halo of blue light covering their faces, as both the Sith and Jedi twirled their swords forward, dodging trees, and Jedis watching in spite of themselves. Vader moved forward more aggressively, slashing through a trunk, a smirk playing on his face.

"How does it feel like, Obi-Wan?" he asked conversationally as the older Jedi panted at the physical exertion, parrying his nearly overwhelming and faster thrusts with feverish clashes of his own sword.

Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes, elegantly flipping high in the air to come down…

… behind him.

But Vader had already sensed his move and calmly parried the thrust meant for his waist.

Their swords clashed forcefully, neither giving in and their eyes boring into one another.

"How does it feel like?" he repeated. "The dark side, flowing inside your veins?"

Obi-Wan's eyes widened and he stepped back, giving another hard thrust with his lightsaber, electricity flashing in the air.

"It doesn't work with me, Vader…"

Vader laughed heartily.

"Be honest with yourself and allow it to really flow through you. You'd get more of a chance to beat me… or maybe you'd like to end up like Yoda and all your fellow companions who died impaled on this lightsaber…"

This did the trick as the Jedi became even more aggressive, twirling around like Anakin hadn't seen him do in years.

Reaching into himself, Vader wondered for the first time if he wasn't looking for something else than a good fight in this taunting…

Something like….

He didn't let himself finish that thought.

One thrust went through Obi-Wan's suit but the Jedi didn't relent, his teeth clenched in pain and moving forward. They were going deeper into the forest, and Vader could only see a few Jedi vaguely attempting to follow them in the distance. The sun was becoming more and more distant, hidden by the tree leaves, the sounds more and more muffled.

Vader frowned, trying to keep his mind on the fight, his moves automatically matching Obi-Wan's but not quite anticipating them anymore…

The blue light around their faces turned to smoke, pervading his senses and he watched, flabbergasted as the trees started to burn. Everything burned and smoke hid the sun from his eyelids.

Anakin felt himself fall to his knees, his hands raised in protection against the fire around him.

Babies cried in the distance.

And he was no longer in the forest.

He was standing in the Palace corridor.

"Anakin!"

Padmé's voice came from behind him, muffled, as he felt himself cough and choke with the smoke.

"Anakin, please!"

He couldn't move.

The Palace was burning from the inside out, walls crumbling.

And then a yell froze his insides.

"Luke! _Luke_! "

He couldn't breathe…. His hands reached his throat and he blinked back tears, smoke blinding him.

Flesh fingers managed to touch his throat to stop the coughing but he could reach nothing with his right hand.

His vision refocused on his gloved hand.

The smoke dissipated and he could hear bird cries around him and loud breathing above him, trees covering his vision, one hand around his throat, and the other resembling nothing but cut off wires hanging in an ugly fashion.

Anakin blinked and realized he was shivering, cold sweat glued to his suit.

His lightsaber was lying on the grass in the distance, his gloved hand still holding it.

Looking down, he finally realized there was a blue sword hovering next to his chest, at the hollow of his neck, ready to strike him down.

Above him, Obi-Wan was standing, his lightsaber in his hand, a very grave expression on his face.

Anakin was still panting, unshed tears falling on his cheeks, both at the vision and the obvious humiliation.

"I don't know what happened to you, Vader," Obi-Wan said with no hint of emotion in his voice, "but I know I won't be sorry to finally restore balance to the Force."

Anakin coughed and struggled to get his bearings again.

"Obi-Wan…" He whispered, his throat still constricted with imaginary smoke.

The Jedi's gaze was hard and unforgiving.

The young Sith closed his eyes and swallowed against his very instincts, his ego and a myriad of emotions he still felt bubbling inside him. He only focused on the urgency he felt in his guts.

"I had a vision… Obi-Wan, I saw-"

"I don't care. I'm going to do what I should've done more than a year ago."

"Listen to me!" He cried out, feeling panic starting to rise inside him.

Not panic at his own death. Panic that Obi-Wan would kill him here, in that deserted forest while Padmé and his children choked to their deaths.

The now very familiar voice whispered in the dark recesses of his mind.

_I deserve that fate but they don't._

"They're going to die, Obi-Wan!"

The Jedi only raised one eyebrow, his fingers moving around the lightsaber hilt restlessly.

"Who?" he asked finally.

"Padmé… My children… They're going to die on Naboo, in the Palace- something-"

Obi-Wan bent down slightly and his gaze was so cold even Anakin shuddered.

"Well, if _you_ die and they die too, we might bring peace back to the galaxy."

Anakin's insides clenched in fury.

"You can hate me all you want," he spat, "but they're innocent in all this!"

Anakin felt the seconds tick by, the Force and time moving intrinsically out of his reach, the smoke covering his vision.

Obi-Wan held his life in his hands.

So he laid himself on the cold ground of Arbra, at the feet of the Jedi he hated.

"My visions always come true…" and he realized he was crying now, ignoring Obi-Wan's scorn and everything around them, "My, my- mother, _Padmé…_ almost dying in childbirth… They all came true… They're going to die, my children… my wife…"

"Everything dies sooner or later, I thought you saw to that yourself," only came the cold response.

"Please… _please… _I'm begging you, Obi-Wan."

And he looked up and into his former Master's cold eyes, his own blue eyes and whole being pleading.

"I am _begging_ you…" he repeated, hating every single word he uttered but feeling like nothing at the moment. "Let me save them."

The Jedi's eyes flickered with very slight doubt, but doubt nonetheless.

"And you will come back and haunt us and destroy us all," he only murmured.

"I'll do whatever you want…" Anakin whispered and suddenly an old image flashed through him.

Of him on his knees in front of Sidious.

Begging for Padmé's life.

The irony wasn't lost on him. He was still nothing without her in the end.

"You want me to believe you'll stop pursuing us if I let you go? I'm not that naïve," Obi-Wan spat. "There is only one way to get rid of you and I'll make sure you'll die, Vader."

The lightsaber was now hovering closer to the Sith's throat.

Anakin chuckled bitterly, feeling the heat of the sword getting closer to his skin.

"What is so different about you then, Obi-Wan? Aren't you exactly like me in the end?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You are forgoing the Jedi principles," Anakin felt himself choke up unexpectedly. "Jedi don't kill unarmed prisoners. Even Sith."

Silence.

"How dare you teach me anything about the Jedi principles?" Obi-Wan exploded. "You killed them all! You betrayed _us_!"

Anakin was growing desperate.

The hauting images of his vision started going through his broken mind repeatedly and he felt cold sweat on his face, his breathing getting more and more erratic.

_They are going to die... Padmé, Leia, Luke..._

_All of them... dead..._

"Where's your compassion?" He whispered, forcing himself to look into the Jedi's enraged eyes.

The lightsaber only seemed to come closer.

"Are _you_ teaching me something about compassion?" only came the icy response. "How many of your brethren did you massacre? How many children and innocent people died because of you?"

Obi-Wan was reeling from disgust.

Anakin felt hope vanish.

Only resignation came.

"You are exactly like me..." the young Sith murmured.

For once, he let the little voice he hated so much speak up. Only then did he let it be acknowledged.

His eyes locked with Obi-Wan's.

And the admission came in spite of himself.

"Don't stoop to my level."

Obi-Wan didn't say anything but his grip on his lightsaber faltered.

There was a long silence.

The long silence stretched and Obi-Wan could see Anakin, no, _Vader_, growing restless below him.

A new set of conflicting emotions -_something a Jedi should never ever feel_- made their way into him. He could hear and _feel _the sincerity in Anakin's words, see the change in the Sith demeanor, something that came painfully closer to his former apprentice, and he briefly thought of two innocent children dying. But he also could see the galaxy being a safer place. He could feel the twirl of a dark energy surrounding him, urging him to give in.

He wanted to get rid of the dark side because he could only feel how it all surrounded Anakin, infecting all those around him. It would infect his children too, one day. Sooner or later.

He would destroy the galaxy with it.

What was the sacrifice of two children compared to the whole galaxy's fate resting on his shoulders?

_Obi-Wan…_

_Don't…_

Obi-Wan squeezed his eyes shut against his former Master's voice and his grip on his lightsaber faltered.

Vader could have taken advantage of this to kill him.

For the first time since the beginning, Obi-Wan realized Vader could have distracted him enough with Force lightning to leave.

The man in front of him was scared to death. Panicked.

This wasn't the Emperor, Dark Lord of the Sith, _begging_ him to spare him.

In front of him was crouched Anakin, the boy he had trained such a long time ago.

Opening his eyes again, Obi-Wan saw a young boy looking up to him in the Sith's eyes. The boy who told him once he was his model, the one Jedi he wanted to be. Later. Much later.

He saw the right and wrong he had seen drift away a long time ago. He remembered his Master and all he taught him. He remembered, could almost _hear_ Yoda's words from what felt like a long time ago, on Dagobah, when everything felt helpless.

_- Against the dark side we all have to fight.-  
_  
He wouldn't be like Dooku.

He wouldn't be like Vader.

Even if he had to regret it the rest of his life.

With a sigh, he accepted his defeat.

"Go…" he whispered, shutting off his weapon.

There was a slight pang of pain in his former apprentice's eyes. Some flicker of recognition and even…

But Obi-Wan couldn't let himself go there.

The Sith leapt to his feet, Force-took his weapon, the gloved hand falling on the ground and Obi-Wan wondered for the smallest second if Vader wasn't going to kill him on the spot.

He was surprised to find himself half-wishing for it. As a punishment for what he had just done.  
_Let a Sith go._

But Vader only turned away slightly, his head bent as he put his lightsaber back to his belt.

"Do not come after us again… Not ever." Obi-Wan said, his voice low and defeated.

Vader didn't turn to him but his back stiffened.

The Jedi expected him to come back on his tearful promises now he was out of harm.

"You have my word," he only murmured.

The next second, he was running away at lightspeed.

Obi-Wan felt himself sink to the ground, closing his eyes wearily.

_What had he done?_

As if a word coming from a Sith meant anything.

A comforting hand settled on his shoulder and he felt unexpected tears in his shut eyes.

_-You did the right thing, my apprentice.-_

The presence faltered too soon.

Behind him, he could hear the voices of approaching Jedi.

Now he would have to lie to explain Vader's disappearance.

* * *

"Make him come in!"

Padmé waved to her father from behind the window. He was still standing outside the back entrance of the Palace and she smiled, securing a squirming but dressed up Luke in her embrace.

Artoo had stopped his beeping soon enough and had stayed in the children's room unexpectedly. Activating Threepio, she had left the two of them when a handmaiden had informed her father had just rung in.

She was so happy he could finally get to meet his grandchildren. She sniffed in the bright air and felt the sunshine on her shut eyelids.

Luke was starting to squirm in her arms.

Opening her eyes, she saw Threepio waltzing towards her, or rather attempting to waltz towards her.

"Miss Padmé! Your Highness!"

She smiled.

The old droid was always fretting about nothing.

"What is it again, Threepio? My father is no Minister, don't worry about all the napkins and protocol, will you?"

"Miss Padmé! Artoo-"

His next words never came to her ears for the entire world around her exploded.

Around her, the glass shattered, shards biting into her skin, the noise deafening her. She felt herself being projected to the floor, her arms automatically shielding the boy in her arms. Cries resonated in her bleeding ears, blood rushing into her brains as flames leapt at the walls. Everything moved, yells of pain filling her senses around her. She curled around Luke instinctively.

Threepio's lifeless eyes stared at her on top of fallen bricks. Smoke crushed her lungs.

Luke was crying in her arms.

Pain stabbed through her leg as she tried to move herself into a sitting position. She fell back, limp. Two tiny hands fitted into her hair as smoke clouded her eyes.

Luke stopped crying.

Feeling panic hit her chest, she tried to move around the smoke. She put her son closer to the ground where the air was still breathable.

Lifeless brown eyes stared at her in the distance.  
_  
A dead handmaiden_, her feeble mind registered, a flash of Cordé's dead eyes making her feel even weaker.

There were shards of glass, cutting into her skin. Padmé coughed and coughed as smoke came into her lungs.

Luke was no longer moving.

Tears fell past her temples, mixing with blood and falling to the cold ground.

Her mind went to her daughter she had left upstairs and she felt a cry escape her chest.

Raising a finger to her temple, she saw it completely tainted with blood.

The pain in her head only registered then.

The world span around her and everything faded to black.


	39. Chapter 29 1

**A/N :**

**Okay. First things first...**

**I can't even say how sorry I am for letting you wait so long... My (stupid) plan was to write ahead so when I was done the updating would come faster. But the thing is I have a hard time writing anything. I won't go into details but something happened to me IRL -something quite harsh- while I was writing this story and I haven't quite been able to write as much as I used to ever since then. Hence my serious case of writer's block.**

**But I really really want to finish this story. **

**Thank you very very much for the support through your reviews, for still reading this and for all the new readers I see from time to time. **

**My heartfelt apology for the delay. I'll really try to post more often for the next chapters in store. **

**Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 29**

Part 1

There were muffled noises.

Disjointed thoughts came to her fractured, throbbing mind.

This _unbearable_ smoke filling her nostrils and mouth. The taste of ashes on her tongue. Warm liquid sticking to her clothes. Yells. Coughing next to her face.

A warm weight was pulled away from her arms. She didn't have the energy to protest.

The throbbing in her head increased. She muffled a whimper.

Something soft and lukewarm pulled the hair away from her burning face.

Words she couldn't understand came to her but only one name made its way to her blurred mind.

« Leia... upstairs, » she whispered in a voice she no longer recognized.

Her ears were strangely ringing.

The young woman felt herself enveloped in a warm cloth, shielding her from the smoke, a tiny body pressed against her again.

_Luke._

Up.

She was being lifted in the air.

The whole world faded again.

* * *

Everything smelled of bacta and the clinical scent of safety.

Her hands tried to grasp the sheets to no avail.

A voice came to her from far away.

She thought she heard her name.

Her son was no longer in her arms.

« Luke? » she cracked out.

Her throat burned.

Inanely her traumatized mind made her feel she had gone back in time.

She was back into her coma.

_Everything had only been one continued nightmare._

The same lukewarm sensation on her burning forehead.

Fractured sounds came to her.

« Medical.. Naboo... Luke... »

Darkness claimed her again.

* * *

Padmé Skywalker opened her eyes very slowly against the harshly blurry light above her. Focusing, she noticed she was in what looked like a clinic bed in a white sterile room. Her limbs felt heavy and she could no longer move.

The throbbing in her head had stopped but her ears were still slightly ringing.

In the distance, a familiar figure sat in a corner.

She blinked.

« Anakin? » she murmured hoarsely.

The young man's head snapped up from his crouched position and he was up and sitting on her bed in a second.

Padmé blinked again as she felt his cold hand in hers. His blue eyes were searching her face hauntingly.

The only feeling she could sense right now was intense relief.

Somehow, Force knew how, he was right here.

As her vision cleared, she noticed his face was covered with dirt and some blood had coagulated on his temples.

She tried to ask what happened but her throat wouldn't cooperate.

"Do you remember the explosion?" he asked, seemingly reading her thoughts.

She frowned.

Fragments came back to her disjointedly.

"Where-is- Luke?" she murmured.

"In a room next to yours," Anakin responded as quietly, his cold hand moving from hers to her still feverish forehead, caressing and feeling soothing. "He's fine," the words spilling from his dry lips, anticipating on her next interrogation.

A slight pause.

"Mostly."

Her blurry mind urged her to ask what that mostly meant but her next word came before she had anything planned.

"Leia?"

There was a long silence during which Padmé watched as Anakin looked down swiftly.

Was it her fractured mind or she had caught glimpses of tears in his eyes?

The muted feelings and thoughts came back in a rush, adrenaline rushing into her veins.

"What happened?" Her hoarse voice demanded.

"Sleep." Anakin responded almost too calmly.

Her mind clearing more and more, she tried to move to protest.

His dirty hand came to her forehead gently but firmly and sleep claimed her.

* * *

The peaceful Palace was ripped apart in a second while he was forced to watch from the cockpit.

There was something incredibly terrifying about watching the impending ship wreck happening in front of your eyes and feeling as powerless as an inadequate Padawan learner.

Too late.

_Always too late._

Everything that happened next would remain confusing for hours afterwards in Anakin's mind.

He all but stumbled out of his ship, ran at lightspeed even as he felt his already exhausted body protest. He faintly remembered the arriving Naboo officials trying to stop him from entering the smoldering Palace. There were Force pushes and even necks snapped and he found himself inside the smoke and dying yells. There was no distinction between the visions and dreams and the reality in front of his burning eyes. He coughed, stretching his senses to find Padmé.

Next to her crouched body, 3PO's eyes were staring at him with haunting emptiness.

Even unconscious, her body was protecting Luke next to her but Anakin could no longer feel the boy in his head. Pushing away the panic, he tried to carefully pull away the boy from his mother and concentrated on sending warm energy to his son. The little body slightly moved to his relief.

A harsh noise snapped his concentration. Something was crumbling in the distance.

Refocusing on his wife, his fingers pushed strands of hair from her feverish forehead, quietly noting the blood on her clothes.

"Padmé... Can you hear me? I am going to move you. Where is Leia?"

Silence.

"Where is Leia?" he repeated more loudly, then coughed violently.

« Leia... upstairs... » came Padmé's very weak voice underneath him.

The young man hesitated.

The smoke was slowly but surely invading his lungs.

He coughed again.

The remnants of an old dream taunted him mercilessly and he blinked back tears of frustration and despair. Feeling his heart break, Anakin made his decision.

He hastily removed his cloak to wrap his wife and son and protect them from the harsh smoke and ashes floating in the air. He could feel the heat of fire against his spine. He slowly lifted them with one hand and a traumatized arm and let the Force guide him out of the crumbling building.

He stumbled with them outside, coughing and letting the fresh air invade his chest harshly.

The light was blinding.

The harsh floor came in contact with his knees painfully as he maintained his hold on Padmé and Luke.

He felt hands remove them from his arms and put them out of harm. He faintly heard people asking questions, trying to pull him away from the wreckage. But his exhausted eyes remained on the Palace above him. Another explosion had just ripped apart another aisle on the first floor. Fire had now completely invaded the Queen's chambers. It was burning from the inside out despite the firemen's attempts to extinguish the flames.

He all but crawled into the inside again, ignoring the protests around him, watching blindly as enormous stones fell down from the top of the Palace, provoking panic and frantic yells. He only found his way inside again.

His mind could only form one thought.

_Leia._

The lower floor was being invaded by the leaping flames.

He coughed again, his vision blurring.

Channeling all his powers into finding his daughter, he watched as smoke cleared to form a safe path leading upstairs. A wave of his hand directed the flames away. The stairs had collapsed. Taking a deep breath he propulsed himself to the first floor in one jump.

He crashed on the floor harshly.

Familiar beeping welcomed him.

The faithful Artoo was standing vigil next to a body near the stairs. The droid lights were getting weaker as he rose painfully and waltzed towards him. The familiar dome was slightly ripped apart and the droid was clearly losing energy. Kneeling down and patting the dome urgently but tenderly, Anakin recognized the brown hair peeking from the bundle in the woman's arms.

The handmaiden as it turned out was dead, some stones covering her legs, still clutching the girl to her chest.

Anakin took Leia away from the handmaiden's still warm grip. Noticing the blood stains on the carpet he quickly pictured Artoo pulling the handmaiden on the Naboo marble to put Leia in safety only to find crumbling stairs.

He was about to tell Artoo to leave now, trying to shield Leia from the heavy smoke and burning next to them when the entire floor crumbled down underneath them.

Even his quick reflexes couldn't stop the inevitable fall.

* * *

Padmé was waking up again.

Anakin wasn't ready to face her.

But he came to her and sat down on her clinic bed, hoping for a small respite before everything would come crashing down again.

His arm was very painful now, the cut off wires protesting like real nerves would, the pain spreading into his whole arm right to his jaw. He clenched his teeth together and faked a soothing smile.

« I'm glad you're here, » Padmé whispered, moving her hand slowly to clutch the one he had left.

It was all it took for him not to crumble at her feet and just...

_Collapse._

He so wanted to collapse right now, right here, just close his eyes and forget everything.

Her vision seemed to focus on his face more acutely.

He watched as everything obviously came back to her.

« Leia? » she asked urgently, her eyes widening. « What happened? Where is she? Did anyone find her- »

She coughed abruptly, her throat obviously sore after those long hours she spent unconscious in this bed.

Calmly, he stood up to retrieve her some water. She drank avidly and he marveled once again at how lucky she had been that all her internal organs were spared. If she had stayed upstairs at that time...

He pictured the dead handmaiden's face, her hands still around Leia.

_Leia..._

He shut his eyes abruptly, taking a deep breath.

«Anakin? »

He opened his eyes again to see hers fill with tears, panic written on her face.

« Artoo protected her, » he responded flatly, staring at their fingers still intertwined on the bed sheets. « I found her on the first floor. »

Padmé exhaled in relief.

« The floor crumbled beneath me. »

Her fingers clutched his dirty skin until he felt her nails almost draw blood. She was waiting breathlessly and Anakin reflected that in those fleeting moments, she was still safe.

He hadn't broken her heart yet.

« Leia wasn't moving in my arms. The healers said she had inhaled too much smoke. The fall even if I cautioned it, did the rest. »

« What rest? »

Her voice was controlled still. His was flat when he answered.

« She's dying. »

A short intake of breath. He still couldn't look at her in the eye.

He looked up at last and watched as she slowly shook her head in denial.

« That's impossible. »

« Luke got out before it became irreversible. I was too late for Leia. »

Her eyes bore into his.

« But something- the healers- » she stammered.

« I feel her dying, Padmé. _Inside._She's dying...»

His voice sounded exhausted even to his own ears.

Her fingers let go of his hand.

« What about Luke? »

Her voice was trembling and her gaze got lost in the distance.

« He's being treated next to your room. A few minor bruises like you, a treatment for the smoke but no vital organs harmed. »

The next question came slowly but very coldly, echoing something Anakin had wondered for hours now, his mind going mad.

« Who did this? »

«We still don't know. But I will find them, I promise. »

She turned her eyes to him again but didn't respond.

Her next question surprised him.

« How many died? »

_Always so selfless, his Padmé..._

«Many, » he answered truthfully. « They're still retrieving bodies from there. » He sighed. « The Queen is dead. Sio Bibble. Many unknown people.»

She only stared at him, shell-shocked as tears fell down her cheeks soundlessly. He realized the reality of what had just happened was beginning to catch up with her.

« My father? » she choked, obviously suddenly remembering he had been there. She shut her eyes tightly.

« He was only slightly harmed. He is being treated in another medical wing. This one is... » A pause. « For the serious cases. »

« How come I'm here then? » she whispered almost harshly, one pale hand wiping at her tears almost angrily.

« I insisted. »

There was a long silence.

« Tell me there's still a chance for Leia... » Her chin quivered.

His hand found hers again and he clutched it tightly, for his own assurance or hers, he didn't know.

« I won't rest until I find a way to save her. I won't let her die. » His voice broke. Silently, he clutched her body to him, murmuring words of comfort against her hair.

She didn't react much. Her body was like a lifeless doll in his arms.

His eyes couldn't leave the small body floating in the bacta.

Anakin had dismissed the healers coming to tell him what he already knew. Even if his whole intuition told him the contrary, he refused to accept the idea Leia couldn't be saved.

This was out of question.

If he had to rip out his own lungs to give them to her, he would but she would not die.

The mere idea made him want to bang his head against the wall and cry out.

The Force wouldn't have warned him if there was nothing he could do about it. Those visions had helped save Padmé. They could save Leia.

The solution came so abruptly he wondered why he hadn't entertained the idea before.

_The fatigue_, he supposed.

* * *

It was the first time Anakin was seeing rain on Naboo.

It felt strangely fitting.

« The sun was shining. »

Startled, Anakin turned away from the window and his silent observation to look at Padmé whose eyes looked dead in the distance.

« What did you say? » he asked as gently as he could, coming to sit on her bed again.

« It was such a beautiful day, » she went on very calmly. Too calmly. « I always thought bad things could never happen on such a beautiful day. »

She paused.

« Certainly not to innocent children. »

Her breath itched and she let out a few tears. He swallowed and took her hand to his lips. She didn't react.

« I am so sorry... » he whispered against her skin.

« You lost a hand. »

He looked up and watched her now cold eyes settling on his cut off appendage.

« You lost against Obi-Wan... » Her voice sounded incredulous.

He shut his eyes. The shame grew inside of him.

« You left us to go after him. » He looked up and could only see contempt in her eyes. « You _left_us for nothing... You didn't even win the battle. »

Her gaze was cold and unforgiving and he looked down again, the pain the injury Obi-Wan inflicted on him sweeping to his entire body now.

His fingers went to his tired face and he sighed loudly.

« I am sorry... » he said again.

In the end, it was the only thing he always did. He failed and promised and failed again and could only apologize in the end.

A contact to the cut off wires made him jump and hiss in pain. Opening his eyes and looking down, he watched as her small fingers rested on his metal arm.

« It must hurt... » Her voice was back to normal and he felt tears of relief spring to his eyes unexpectedly. « Have a healer look at it, Anakin », she said softly.

« Later, » he whispered. She nodded silently.

« How is Leia? »

Padmé looked like she was hanging on his next words like a lifeline.

« I'm going to save her. »

She blinked. The hope was naked on her face.

« I am going to use... » A deep breath as he braced for her reaction. « The dark side. I am powerful enough to bring her back, I believe. »

Padmé looked away.

And then she whispered.

« Just bring her back to me. »

She looked back into his eyes and he only saw determination in her brown orbs.

« Do whatever you have to do... »


	40. Chapter 29 2

**Hello everyone! Here's next chapter. Hope you enjoy it. Thank you very very much for the reviews! I'm so happy to see you are still following this story.**

**This chapter is all about light and dark, both progressing in their own ways.**

* * *

**Chapter 29**

_Part 2_

There were screams in her ears.

Echoing yells, smoke, blood on her hands.

She tried to push past weeping people, trying to find air and breathe.

Baby cries resonated in her head.

She reached the girl at last.

The small chest was shaking. The girl was suffocating.

She pulled the girl into her arms and tried to soothe her.

'It'll be alright...' she murmured.' Leia.. it's going to be alright, my little girl.'

The baby's eyes opened in the smoke.

They were strangely shining in the darkness.

Yellow colored them.

A gasp.

Her heart was beating very fast.

Padmé wiped sweat out of her brow and sighed shakily.

Looking around, she found she was still in her clinic room.

She burst into tears in the cold silence.

* * *

'Come here...'

Anakin's arms encircled his son's fragile body. He held him close to his chest. The young man found he could weep in relief, just holding his son in arms. The healers had asserted he was out of danger.

He pictured Padmé's face when he would bring their child to her and imagined the way it would be uplifted. The still cut wires of his lost hand were hurting in protest but he only leaned in and breathed into Luke's hair.

It smelled of smoke and bacta and that baby scent he always associated with the twins.

The only thing standing between him and this mad world.

_Almost_, his traitorous mind reminded him, bringing up an image of the so pale Leia still lying in bacta.

He tightened his hold on the so still body in his arms and peered in his son's face. Luke's eyes were closed and he leaned against his father's chest.

Anakin took his place back at his daughter's side.

Father and son stayed in silence, watching Leia in her tank.

* * *

Pale and distraught, Anakin only let the healers take his son out of his arms when he felt himself falling into unconsciousness. His hand was no longer making him suffer but numbness had taken hold of him.

Distantly, he felt the droids work on his arm and inject some fluids into his veins.

The last thing he remembered before falling into blackness was the vision of a new golden hand clenching and unclenching through artificial stimulations.

* * *

'Where is my son?'

Anakin's voice was gruff when he woke under a harsh light and he got up, ignoring the droids protests around him.

As he dressed back into a new black tunic and pants that had been brought to him, he suddenly noticed one of his aides standing in the corner.

'Your Highness-' he tried.

'How long have I been here?' he demanded.

'Only an hour-'

'It's already too much!' He growled.

'Your Highness-'

He sighed in exasperation.

'What is it?'

It was only then he noticed the aide's face was grim.

'There was another attack.'

'Where?' he asked calmly.

Somehow, selfishly, he knew his family couldn't be harmed further. The situations involving strangers could be handled with a straight mind.

It didn't mean he wasn't intent on finding this scum and destroying them though.

'Coruscant, Your Excellency. A bomb exploded in the Senate. The governor has declared siege.'

'Give me the report immediately', he only replied, his vision darkening.

* * *

Anakin found Padmé in the twin's recovery room. She had taken his place, sitting in a hoverchair, holding Luke in her trembling arms and watching Leia through the glass of the tank hopelessly.

Her gaze was so empty he felt a violent pull in his stomach.

'Here you are...' he whispered, deposing a kiss on the top of her head. She didn't respond.

Luke's eyes were open and he was staring at his sister through the tank, unmoving.

'Where have you been?' Padmé murmured after several minutes.

'Doesn't matter, 'Anakin mumbled. 'Are you feeling better?'

His wife didn't respond.

'Have you tried...?' she asked instead, unable to finish her line.

Anakin's breath caught in his chest.

'Not yet,' he admitted. 'I wasn't strong enough. Now I can try.'

Silence.

Then, very lowly, he heard her voice again.

'I'm so afraid, Anakin...' she whispered tearfully. 'I'm so afraid that either way she'll die...'

His hand tightened on her shoulder. He couldn't speak.

'I wish I were in her place,' she murmured.

Anakin sighed. As if sensing his thoughts, Padmé spoke again.

'Why didn't you save her? Her and Luke?'

He swallowed.

'You had the time,' she repeated slowly. 'My weight was a burden for you. You could take both the twins in your arms; you couldn't take all three of us. Why did you choose me?'

His fingers tightened on her shoulder further. She didn't react.

'I didn't _choose_', he uttered through clenched teeth. 'I _couldn't_.' His voice broke.

'Look at her,' Padmé responded too matter-of-factly. 'You should have.'

With an impatient move, her hand pushed his away from her shoulder.

* * *

'Padmé!'

Before she knew it, the young woman felt her hysterical mother's arms around her, holding her tightly. Looking over Jobal's shoulder, Padmé saw her sister with tears in her eyes and her father, who had only minor bruises on his face but looked fine overall.

'I'm fine, Mom... ' Padmé whispered almost impatiently.

'We heard about Leia... Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. This is terrible...' Jobal wiped her tears away hastily.

The young woman looked at her mother indifferently. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sola frown slightly.

'Who did this?' Her father whispered with barely controlled rage, his hand resting on her arm.

She turned her gaze to him ever so calmly.

'Don't you know?'

Ruwee blinked.

'What?'

'This can't be Nute Gunray any longer, can it? ' Padmé said calmly.' It can only be the Alliance.'

'How can you even fathom this?' Her father's face was bewildered.

'I know how difficult resisting the Empire must be. There comes a time when radical solutions must be found.'

'You know my involvement with this, you know I would've never agreed with such-'

'Ruwee.' Jobal interrupted, resting her hand on her husband's arm, resting her gaze on the holocamera in the corner fearfully.

There was a long silence.

'I think you need rest, sweetie. ' Jobal murmured, caressing her daughter's hair softly.

Padmé's eyes remained on her father coldly until her family left the room.

Then she switched on the Holonet console next to her bed. There were talks of Senate and bombs and-

Padmé gasped in horror.

Dormé...

_Dormé..._

* * *

Anakin entered his wife's room an hour later. Dawn was peeking through the curtains.

Padmé was wide awake, staring at the window blankly.

'Have you tried?' she asked him as soon as he sat down beside her bed. He was about to respond when she interrupted him.

'I don't want you to try...' she murmured. 'And I want you to...'

He sighed, looking down.

'I had to solve urgent matters.'

'Because our daughter's life isn't urgent enough?'

He looked up. Padmé's eyes almost made him shudder. They were cruel in their hatred. Hatred directed at him, obviously. Something in him broke all over again.

'I need to wait for her to be stabilized enough.'

A pause.

'I need to know I don't have a choice.'

Padmé didn't say anything.

When she spoke, it was of an entirely different matter.

'I watched the Holonet.'

Silence.

'Why didn't you tell me about Coruscant?'

He passed a hand on his features tiredly.

'Because you were too fragile to-'

'The attack was against me, wasn't it?'

A pause.

'Yes.'

'This is why Dormé was killed during that Senate session?'

Padmé's eyes filled with tears slowly.

He nodded.

'On the Holonet... ' she went on. 'They said Bail was responsible for those attacks.'

She looked away.

'You didn't tell me you had Bail arrested.'

Anakin sighed and moved his hand in a dismissive gesture.

'I had him arrested for complicity for Ob-_Kenobi_'s escape. His situation is of none importance compared to what we have to face now. Our priority is finding those who tried to kill you,' he explained roughly.

'Then find them.' Padmé murmured, turning her back to him to rest on her side.

He nodded and left her room.

* * *

The Emperor spent long hours calling all his governors and aides in the whole galaxy to increase the security measures. When he reached the people he had designated as responsible for the spying section, he couldn't contain his fury.

'The mighty Empire being put in this situation by a small band of terrorists!'the Emperor growled.

His generals on the screen paled.

His new glove tended to the screen. One after one, they fell down, clutching their necks in agony. Vader didn't even feel relief. His anger was still tainting his eyes, shining in the darkness of the holoconference room.

He nodded to the admirals behind them.

'You are now my Generals. Get rid of those bodies and find those terrorists!'

With a flick of his wrist, the screen turned to black.

He took a deep breath, feeling anger and shame and disgust all rolled into one slowly rising inside him.

Muffling a growl, his glove hit the table repeatedly.

The new golden hand started to hurt. He found he didn't care much.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered if he shouldn't report his attention elsewhere...

Artoo was in serious need of repair and so was Threepio who had barely been put out of the fuming building by a tenacious Artoo, his circuits burned and likely erased...

But he knew he was only postponing the inevitable.

He didn't know what felt so wrong. _-The kind of wrongness he had felt in so long it was now foreign to him.-_

Something was making him hesitate. This was weakness and he knew it, but like Padmé there was something holding him back.

Probably the last shred of innocence left in this world. Standing in the palm of his gloved hand. Ready to be crushed like everything and everyone had been beforehand.

_Like Padmé._

But his daughter needed him.

At all costs.

He had been a coward for too long.

* * *

Vader let the rage and anger at the explosions and those many lives lost fill him slowly. There was rage at the monsters who had dared try to kill Padmé.

Rage at those who had succeeded in hurting his precious daughter. His vision got blurry and he felt the safe empowering feeling of the dark side in a rush.

His smile widened.

On the tank's glass, he saw his yellow eyes reflect on his girl's closed eyes.

There was even more rage at the man who had left his children alone. Rage at the one who had failed against the Jedi and arrived too late.

He felt himself reach into his little girl's mind, feeling the very fragile link and consciousness Leia was maintaining through the stimulator the healers were applying to the small head. He circled her mind, enveloped it with his, let the dark side slowly come into their bond.

An echo in the distance made him lose focus.

There was another presence.

It was light, rebuilding some connections slowly but surely.

But so small, almost tenuous.

The darkness recoiled anyway.

Snapping his eyes open, Vader watched flabbergasted, as Luke's small hand reached towards his sister, his face scrunched up into a frown.

The cry suddenly coming from Luke resonated in the silence.

The boy was obviously healing faster than he had thought possible.

Tenuously, he felt a small bond flicker to life. He felt the light calling out to him. Reaching into Leia. The cries seemed louder.

With a sigh, the young man's hand fell from the glass. He came to stand over the small bed containing his son.

'You can't save her...' he murmured. 'You're not strong enough. Yet,' he added as an afterthought. Luke's blue eyes settled on his softly, the tears still falling from the corners.

'Eia.'

Anakin chuckled. It came out as a strangled sob.

Bending, he took the boy in his arms.  
Together they stood in front of the girl's bacta tank.

Sighing deeply, Anakin began again, feeling his son's very slight Force signature mingling with his. He tried to gather the dark side again. Found it strangely unattainable anymore.

Something beckoned him further.

Something... light and long forgotten.

Feeling the tears leaking from his eyes, Anakin tried to reach into that part, almost feeling something shift in the Force. The darkness was too strong, fought back.

It was the first time he felt the dark side from the outside.

It was impossibly strong, filling every single space in the galaxy. In this room. It felt strongly leaking from him, leaking from him and-. He was linked to-

Something...

Someone.

Impossibly strong.

It was only then he felt Padmé's presence in his mind.

She shone in the middle of the darkness. Absorbed in its center.

He drew from Leia's head instantly and shook, breathing heavily. Luke was crying again.

But in the tank, something happened.

It only lasted a split second.

But he saw it.

Leia's hand had twitched once.


	41. Chapter 29 3

**And here we go... Here's the final part of Chapter 29... The plot about saving Baby Leia slowly moves forward. I hope you'll enjoy this. :)**

* * *

**Chapter 29**

Part 3

Looking out of the window, one could still see the carnage outside. The sky had taken orange tones, seemingly permanently damaged by the dying flames of the Palace. The smoke was still permeating the atmosphere, changing the usual gorgeous Naboo landscape into something no one could recognize.

The darkness had pervaded even Naboo.

The smoke cloud seemed to become even bigger as the minutes ticked by.

It would stay...

It would linger like the smoke had seemingly lingered above the Jedi temple for _years_.

The scar would never heal.

The people would never forget like couldn't forget the camps during the Trade federation blockade.

The eyes of the still figure in front of the window turned to the Palace again.

An ionic bomb must have been activated. Only this could explain the way the Palace had been ripped apart. The young man shuddered. He still wondered how the Force had spared Padmé and Luke from the wreckage. They had been so lucky... So lucky they had been far from the bomb in their aisle.

But how had this scum managed to evade security? How had they managed to acquire such a weapon without him knowing it?

The Naboo Palace was nowhere as secure as their Palace on Coruscant but still... He would have suspected the Queen if she hadn't been killed herself. So the scum had infiltrated the Palace at some point. Perhaps even well before Padmé and he arrived.

His mechanical hand automatically clenched with a hiss. His nostrils flared, his reflection appearing on the glass as he came closer.

His aides were pulling the security system apart, researching into the database for the latest arrivals, leading interrogations, _rough_interrogations with his approval.

He would find them.

It was only a matter of time.

Behind him, something stirred, interrupting his contemplation.

Anakin turned to face his still asleep wife in her clinical bed.

Padmé blinked sleepily, wincing as she moved her injured leg slightly. Refocusing, she turned her eyes to him. They were troubled. Silently, he moved from his place beside the window to sit at her side. His gloved fingers came to rest on her face, tracing her cheek.

She closed her eyes shakily and he felt relief flood him when she didn't push him away.

When she spoke, her voice was so small he strained to hear her.

"It's my fault..." she murmured brokenly.

Anakin frowned, his fingers still tracing her face gently.

"Your fault?"

"Everything..." Her face crumbled and she cried earnestly.

His heart in his throat, he moved closer and pressed his hands - one human and one mechanical - to each side of her face soothingly but firmly. He waited until she opened her eyes again to look at him, the sob caught in her chest as she struggled to breathe.

"Nothing is your fault, do you hear me? _Nothing_."

"I left Leia upstairs..." she managed to say between sobs. "I left her there... I-" A shaky breath. "Dormé... Oh Force, _Dormé_... She died posing as me, like- like Cordé... all my life, people have died because of me, Anakin... And I never got to tell her... I was so awful. So-" Her voice broke.

Anakin murmured senseless things against her temple as he stroke her hair, feeling his own heart clench as he felt her immense sadness filter through their Force bond.

The sobs subsided. She pulled away slightly to look at him in the eye.

"People sacrifice themselves and die inside for me..."

He felt a shudder go through him, unnamed emotions filling him until he looked down, away from her bloodshot eyes.

"This is still not your fault..." he managed through clenched teeth, literally forcing himself to look at her again.

She didn't say anything in response. Her gaze went faraway, to a place he couldn't reach. He could feel the guilt weighing on her shoulders like it were his own burden.

_A feeling he only knew too well_.

"I'll make everything right..." he whispered against her forehead this time, his lips blindly tracing her skin.

She sighed and moved her arms to enclose his neck and pull him closer.

"I need you..." she only murmured brokenly.

Something in Anakin flickered at her words, regaining confidence.

Then his lips brushed hers in a tender caress. She sighed against his mouth shakily and pressed her fingertips against his cheek.

Pulling away slightly, he looked into her slightly swollen eyes.

"I promise you, Padmé... I'm going to find those who did this to you and our children. I'm going to save Leia. I _promise_."

Unbidden in his mind, another thought came to him.

Something that felt strange and confusing but something that wouldn't go away...

_I'm going to save you too._

* * *

"Your Excellency, the situation on Coruscant is getting out of control. The Governor wishes to speak to you."

"Connect me," the Emperor responded coldly.

Amedda's face appeared on the screen, looking grim.

"Your Highness." He bowed. "I have declared a state of emergency on Coruscant. We captured some young activists. They are being tried the minute I'm speaking to you."

Vader's eyebrows rose slightly.

"What are you doing here? The Empress dismissed you."

Mas Amedda paled visibly.

"Her Excellency didn't have the time to nominate a new governor, Your Highness. It was my duty to take care of those matters... "

Vader frowned.

"Leave those youths in their jails. I am seeing to their fates personally, is this clear?"

"Yes, very clear, Your Highness. How about Bail Organa?"

"What about him?" the Emperor growled.

"He was led to the highest security prison as was instructed but the crowd is asking for his death. The high judges are about to reunited to decide of his fate. What should they rule, Your Highness?"

Darth Vader sighed impatiently.

"Organa's fate will be decided later. Tell the judges to wait for my arrival on Coruscant."

"That will be done, Your Highness. When are you scheduled to be back?"

"Soon enough," he only responded, shutting down the connection without a warning.

Amedda had stayed rooted to his spot, taking advantage of them being far away -and this tragedy- to remain in power.

But now wasn't the time to ponder on this insignificant Chagrian. He would decide of his fate later.

Same with Organa.

Something was demanding his attention.

Something more important than the Coruscant riots.

* * *

The light was unattainable.

Anakin paced the room furiously, trying to calm down to no avail.

Luke and he weren't strong enough. The boy's attempts to reach into the Force were too tenuous to be of any help.

He himself just _couldn't_.

He had tried,_ Force_, he had tried so hard. All he could feel were slight tremors of healing on Leia's part. But nothing enough to save her. His sins were obscuring the path. The shadows grew, outbalancing everything. He would reach for the light almost shyly, feeling its unbearable warmth sweep over him.

To no avail.

It rejected him as much as a part of him was rejecting it.

But now too precisely, he could see the Dark Side materialize. How it would sweep him into his embrace.

How in fact the darkness was seeping _from _him. As if he was its commander, its nurturer.

Too precisely, he could see his son's struggle against the unbeatable darkness.

He could see how it submerged Padmé.

Anakin closed his eyes shakily, slamming his palms against Leia's tank glass.

He had to use the Dark Side.

It was the only thing he knew how to handle anymore. The only part of the Force he _could _use.

_The most powerful part_, something in him snapped. _The flawless part._

Yes, that would do.

He took a deep breath and reached into Leia's mind again. The darkness came easily, never giving up on him. It was flowing from his fingertips to the tank, to his daughter. He felt a smile on his face, the exhilarating power growing until he felt his heart's desire disappear and die down with a murmur.

But again, just as he reconnected the bond he had with Leia slowly, her own light shone a little bit too much, a little bit too warmly, a little bit too much like the echo in her brother.

_He couldn't._

Anakin pulled away from Leia's mind shakily, falling on his knees with an anguish cry.

_You are going to let her die... She is going to die..._

Another voice from so long ago came abruptly.

_Patience... Think... Use the Force..._

He slammed his fist against the floor in fury.

There was only one way, Anakin realized with a shudder.

He put shaky hands on his face and muffled a shout of frustration.

He realized in his horror that only one person could help him save his daughter.

Obi-Wan Kenobi.

* * *

"I need..."

A sigh.

"I need Kenobi..." he confessed against the back of her hand. Closing his eyes, he nuzzled the skin.

As if waiting the absolution that would never come.

Padmé didn't move. Her eyes were lost in the distance.

"Obi-Wan could help you then?" she asked obviously warily.

He nodded slightly, his lips still resting against her hand.

She sighed.

"I thought you were strong enough to save her..."

He moved then and rested his head on her lap, his eyes resting on the opposite wall. He felt her hand in his hair and sighed.

Then came his confession.

"I am strong enough," he whispered. "Actually I'm more than strong enough in the Dark Side," he added calmly. "I _am _the Dark Side, Padmé."

Her hand stilled in his hair for sometime.

He winced, waiting for the inevitable rejection.

It didn't come.

Her hand relaxed, and continued smoothing curls from his forehead. He closed his eyes.

"Do you remember our conversations when you woke up? After your coma?" he whispered.

He felt Padmé freeze.

He knew she had understood. The horrible realization dawned on her and he felt her fingers clutch his hair almost painfully as she struggled to breathe.

"Say it, Padmé... Tell me again..."

She bent over him. One of her tears fell on his cheek.

"I begged you..." She sighed shakily. "I begged you not to use the Dark Side on Leia and Luke. Not like you used it on me."

Her arms came to embrace him shakily. His hand came up to squeeze hers.

"They're the one last thing I didn't corrupt..." he murmured against her arms. "I can't, Padmé. I just can't."

He knew he would detest this moment of weakness later. He knew he would hate himself, his words, his doubt, his self-loathing and his unbearable pitiful attitude. He knew he wouldn't understand his reservations on the greatest power he had ever found. He wouldn't understand why he was reluctant to use the one thing that could potentially save his daughter when he hadn't hesitated one second when Padmé was limp in his arms and he had saved her, he had actually _saved_her and laughed in the Force's face, defying It in life and death...

He was the Force Itself and now he needed an old broken Jedi? One he would have wiped out if not for his vision in the forest?

One whom he had always surpassed. One who had tried to rob him off everything.

One who represented everything he abhorred.

"Obi-Wan has always been good at meditating and using the Force to heal," he whispered, fighting against the surge of hatred in his guts at the mention of the dreaded Jedi's name. "And he has Jedi with him, some who were healers..." Barriss' face came to him painfully and he squeezed his eyes shut. Against her yells and her tears as she looked at him in the Temple, killing younglings and she stared at him, broken and unable to move. He thought she had been killed that night. But she had lived. Lived to throw his sins back to his face.

He hated her too. As much as Kenobi, these remainders of a past he wanted, _needed _to forget.

Padmé's voice pulled him out of his painful contemplations.

"However will you find Obi-Wan again? It took you so long to find him in the first place!"

This time, he allowed himself a small smile.

Taking one of her hands, he kissed the palm.

"All those Jedi... fleeing... at the same time, quickly, _desperately_..."

His smile grew as he remembered them fleeing from him, their fear echoing in the Force. All those Jedi who claimed death was part of life, that we needed to let go of everything we were attached to... All those principles and nothing left when it came to their own death. They were all scared in their own way.

What made them so different from him in the end?

He remembered Obi-Wan's hatred, as the Jedi had been ready to strike him down.

He remembered Windu standing above Sidious' body.

All of them. Hypocrites.

"No time for a plan", he continued with a smirk of satisfaction. "No time to relocate somewhere safe. _Not yet._" Turning around, he looked at her and saw the recognition on her face.

"They couldn't have gone very far," she finished for him with the same smile.

"They must have taken refuge on a nearby planet," he confirmed with the smugness he found surprisingly echoed on his wife's face.

"All too easy."


	42. Chapter 30 part 1

Hello everyone! *waves* Thanks for all these reviews! They make me blush and smile like an idiot. :)

And here's next chapter. Obi-Wan's POV for a good part and our couple and their issues... Hope you enjoy this. ;)

* * *

**Chapter 30  
**

Part 1

There were shouts and arguing.

Younglings crying soundlessly while adults were panicking above them. In the dark dusty room the survivors were trying to decide on their next refuge.

From where he stood in the room, Obi-Wan Kenobi sighed in defeat, eyeing the so-called Jedi around him.

They were still on Arbra.

_Vader really has all the time in the world to find us,_he reflected.

Barriss Offee was sitting on the floor next to him silently, holding a still shell-shocked Lainé.

For awhile - as he continued to watch what was left of the Jedi Order with something akin to resignation- Obi-Wan allowed himself to miss the calm presence of Master Yoda.

_Your all-mighty Master Yoda joined the Force!_

Unknowingly, his mechanical hand clenched and unclenched.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes tightly.  
With a deep sigh, he struggled to release his hatred into the Force.

Every now and then he noticed Barriss looking at him strangely. Her eyes were piercing him.

He didn't like it.

"Umgul! We need to go there!"

The Jedi speaking was Jad Kahl, one of the young ones who had assumed some sort of position of leader before Obi-Wan arrived.

A murmur of agreement erupted in the room.

"Why Umgul?"

Heads abruptly turned to Obi-Wan who had crossed his arms calmly. He waited, only raising an eyebrow.

Jad regarded Obi-Wan warily.

"I know this planet. Lots of mountains, cold weather... They won't try to look for us there."

Obi-Wan fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"Oh, _right_. This planet happens to be in the Mid-Rim. Right next to Naboo."

He moved from his spot against the wall and walked towards the center of the room. "How long will it take to find us if we actually travel right through the Empress' home-world's planetary orbit?"

Silence.

All the Jedi looked down, defeated.

"May I suggest going _away_ from the Outer Rim and not getting closer to the center of the Empire?"

There definitely _was_ defiance in Kahl's eyes.

_He is only still a young Jedi_, Obi-Wan reflected.

Jad came closer. Obi-Wan noticed detachedly that fear was distorting the young leader's features.

"We were fine here until you came. Vader wouldn't have looked for us if you hadn't joined us..."

The young leader's speech halted as he straightened, visibly bracing himself to give the final blow.

"I think it would be better for everyone if you just..."

A deep breath.

"If you just left, Master." He turned to the assembly. "Who else thinks Master Kenobi should leave us?"

Hands raised slightly, faces turned down in shame. The young padawans were looking left and right, lost and confused, not knowing what to decide.

The Jedi Master eyed them in disappointment.

"Fear is driving you all," he told them darkly. "Look at you!" He gestured. "Vader has already won if none of us here remembers what it is like to be a Jedi!"

Silence. The Jedi looked at each other, obviously torn.

Obi-Wan's voice turned softer.

"We are stronger if we stay together. Vader hasn't won today. _We_ did. If we want to rebuild the Order, we must stay united. We must remain faithful to the Jedi teachings. Only then will we destroy the Sith."

Jad Kahl smiled bitterly.

"Destroy the Sith? Master Yoda was _killed_. Vader murdered dozens of us today. _Effortlessly_. You only escaped with sheer luck!" Obi-Wan flinched slightly, recalling his lie about the fight.

Kahl turned back to his fellow Jedi.

"All we want is to live. As the last Jedi, we owe it to ourselves to survive." He looked slightly regretful as he turned back to Obi-Wan. "And you are Vader's newfound obsession." He hung his head. "We do not wish to stand in his way."

No one protested at his words.

They all looked like they had already lost every battle to come.

Obi-Wan took a long good look at his fellows.

"Then the Order is really dead," he whispered.

He turned to the door calmly.

Before leaving, he addressed them one last time.

"When Vader is finished with me, he will come after you."

He smiled.

It was a bitter smile of someone who had seen too much.

"No one here can face him and remain alive. May the Force be with you all."

The door clicked shut behind him.

* * *

"Obi-Wan!"

The Jedi shrugged into his long cloak and looked behind him. Barriss was running after him, Lainé struggling to catch up with her, dodging the high plants.

"Master!" she exclaimed as they both reached him into the woods. "We are coming with you."

"It is dangerous," he responded softly, all his anger at the cowardice he had witnessed in the Arbra cave evaporating.

"Probably," Barriss said calmly. "But I'd rather stay with you, Master." She bowed respectfully. "You are the only real Jedi left here. The only thing left of our Order."

Obi-Wan thought of his hatred and disappointment and all those feelings a Jedi should never indulge in and fought against the urge to correct her.

"Barriss." She straightened and looked up at him. "I am most grateful for your faithfulness. But you are a Knight on your own now. You don't need my guidance any longer."

"I am following what the Force is telling me. And It tells me that being a coward is not right. It tells me that I will learn everything at your side."

She raised her chin in defiance.

"I'd rather die at Vader's lightsaber than live a life in fear and deny everything I was taught to be."

There was no point in arguing with her.

And Obi-Wan strangely found the idea of not being completely alone comforting.

"Fine." He allowed himself a smile. "Follow me then."

With Lainé's approval they marched out of the dark forest.

"Where are we going?" the young boy asked after several minutes.

Obi-Wan rubbed his beard thoughtfully.

"I know a planet, not far from here. I've spent some time there, I'm sure some people will help us."

* * *

"So, General, have you done the researching I demanded?"

"Yes, Your Highness. A group of Jedi seems to have escaped to a nearby planet called Umgul. It is not very far from Naboo."

Vader nodded, crossing his fingers on the holoconference table.

"And Kenobi?"

"We do not know if he is with them, Your Excellency. Another starship has been spotted nearby, then escaped our surveillance with numerous hyperspace jumps."

The Emperor chuckled darkly.

"That one is Kenobi, I am sure of it."

Pensively, he tapped his fingers on the shiny table. His General stood there as a hologram still, waiting.

"I'll take care of those Jedi on Umgul. I want spies on every nearby planet of the Outer Rim, do you hear me?"

The General only nodded hastily before the connection was cut off.

There was silence.

"I _have_ to find him," Anakin suddenly whispered, his face only lightened by the blinking lights on the holoconsole.

From the shadows a small form slightly limped into the room.

"How did you know I was here?"

A small smile on the young man's face.

"I can always feel you."

Still sitting in his chair, he turned away from the holoprojector to face his wife.

"You weren't supposed to walk so soon," he told her disapprovingly.

Padmé shrugged before joining him, fingers reaching out to steady herself on each of his armchairs. His hands came to her waist, stabilizing her in front of him.

"I was tired of staying rooted to that bed," she murmured. "Tired of doing nothing while the galaxy is needing my help."

Anakin only sighed and pulled her small body closer.

"Don't you regret not saying goodbye to your family before we left Naboo?"

He remembered their hastened leaving and how Padmé hadn't bothered telling anyone they were going back to Coruscant. There had also been the fear Leia wasn't stabilized enough to go through a trip this long.

But now the ship was taking them back to Coruscant, away from Naboo and its original calming atmosphere.

"I don't want to talk about it," she responded, her fingers burying in his small curls, massaging his scalp gently. "Leia is the priority. We will need the best healers on Coruscant. And that's why we've left so quickly."

Anakin chuckled darkly.

"That and the fact you are furious Amedda is still Governor."

He looked at her pursed lips as she tried to deny it but he could read her like an open book lately.

"I can feel your anger, my love. It's very powerful."

"I'm furious because there's nothing _I_ can do to save Leia," she hotly responded, tears evident in her eyes.

He nodded.

"I know," he replied very quietly. He had the very same feeling of powerlessness coursing through his veins. "But admit you are also furious because of Amedda."

She frowned but nodded anyway.

"I think..."

"What?"

She shook her head.

"We'll talk about this later. There's a more pressing issue. I heard you talking with your General. He said the remaining Jedi were on a planet near Naboo, right? But if we go back to Coruscant-"

"I _am _escorting you back to Coruscant and that's final," his tone was leaving no place for argument. "Our Palace is the safest place in the galaxy right now but I'll make sure you all arrive there safely."

Padmé looked at him, visibly contrite about something.

But Anakin wouldn't change his mind.

He wouldn't make the same mistake all over again. It was going after Obi-Wan which had caused all this in the first place. _If he had been there on Naboo..._

He looked down, away from Padmé's gaze.

If he had, he would have felt the bomb, he would have saved his family.

Leia wouldn't be like _this._

The mere thought of this scum hurting his family again was literally unbearable.

"Obi-Wan seems to be _hard _to catch," Padmé's voice resonated, interrupting his thoughts. There was something in her gaze he couldn't quite place. "I doubt you will manage to bring him back with you all the way to Coruscant."

His new mechanical hand seemed to twitch, reminding him of the outcome of his last duel with the Jedi.

Anakin narrowed his eyes.

"I _will_ catch him, don't doubt my abilities."

She pulled away from him, his hands still holding her waist abruptly meeting air. She said nothing, only turned and left the room, still limping.

He could only stare at her retreating form, uncomprehending.

The door closed down with a hiss.

He blinked then got up abruptly. She hadn't gotten very far and he found her in the corridor.

"Don't walk away from me," he snapped at her.

He hated the way she had implied he wasn't strong enough. Didn't she know how much all this haunted him? Or _did _she know and that was why she had implied it?

She turned to him slowly, her eyes empty.

"All you do is talk, Anakin. You always promise and _nothing _comes. Leia is the best evidence of this."

She turned away to leave again and he didn't stop her this time.

He watched her limp on her own until she disappeared from his sight.

The young man fought against the anger coursing through his veins, his ragging breath filling the empty corridor.


	43. Chapter 30 part 2

Hello, everyone! *waves*

Thanks for all these reviews!

Here's the last part of Chapter 30.

**Okay, this chapter deserves a special warning. **Even though I think it's been obvious since the beginning I'll say this clearly for this chapter : I'm in no way portraying Anakin and Padmé in this story as a role model for a healthy relationship. Remember Anakin turned to the dark side. And Padmé has some issues with it too. **Let's say Anakin and Padmé have some MAJOR issues and it shows in this chapter.**

I hope you'll enjoy this. :)

* * *

**Chapter 30**

_Part 2_

They reached Coruscant soon enough. Strange how the trip had felt so short this time.

The Emperor had spent the entire trip from Naboo in a room, fixing droids.

It had taken his mind off a lot of things.

As Artoo came back to life and helped him repair Threepio, he felt like he suddenly had some focus again. _If only he could fix Leia as easily... _

Anakin hadn't seen Padmé since their discussion and strangely found he didn't want to. It felt like all this ordeal had _changed_her.

If he was honest with himself, he had noticed some changes for sometime already.

But he only pushed the thoughts away in annoyance and glanced at the planet below them as the ship began its descent.

It felt like coming back to hell.

The Senate dome was ripped apart, smoke still permeating the atmosphere. Stormtroopers filled the streets. There was an unusual silence on some parts of the capital. Even the Palace looked sinister in the distance.

He escorted his daughter inside their home, looking at her helpless body in despair. He wanted to scream but the yells were stuck in his throat.

He knew he _could _do it. He could save her. But he was weak because of his emotions.

_Use the Force... Use the dark side. Save her._

He closed his eyes against the voice in his mind and his gut instinct spurring him on.

* * *

Padmé was back into her opulent apartments when he found her. She was staring at a robe on a chair, unmoving.

Anakin took some time to realize.

They were in Dormé's room.

Her small hand came to rest on the material. She clutched it so hard her knuckles became white. Swallowing against his resentment, he came closer to her. Gently, he took her hand and removed it from the white garment. She only just seemed to realize he was there, resting her tearful gaze on him.

"Come here..." he only murmured, wrapping his arms around her.

But she only pushed against his chest impatiently, stepping away from him.

He tried to hide it but he could feel his face fall.

"I need to rest..." Padmé only whispered, walking towards her bedroom very slowly.

* * *

Coruscant seemed so dark nowadays.

Padmé's eyes were resting on the grey horizon. She didn't turn away from the window even when he stepped further into her room.

All this struck him as painfully familiar. Anakin remembered a time when Padmé couldn't look at him in the eye. He felt deep shame rise into him. He had only failed further in her eyes since.

He straightened, swallowing against the weak thoughts.

That was all he was when he was next to her.

_Weakened._

"I am leaving today."

She didn't react.

"Everything is taken care of," he added. "You are safe here, I made sure of it."

She turned away slowly and eyed him silently. He hated it. It felt like she was despising him.

"You'll have to wait for my return before taking care of the Senate matters."

"The Senate and the whole system are crumbling," she told him sternly. "If I wait for your return – which could take _months_- Amedda will soon be more powerful than you and I united."

"I won't take _months_ to return," he snapped. "Leia won't wait that long."

She crossed her arms, still eyeing him with that gaze he loathed more and more.

"My daughter could die while you're _busy_roaming the Outer Rim..."

"Do you have a better plan?" he snapped back.

Her eyes were icy.

"No."

"Then it's settled. You will stay here until I return. No wandering about, especially not in the Senate," he warned, a gloved finger pointed in her direction.

Padmé chuckled sarcastically in a way he didn't like and left him frowning.

"That reminds me of something... Telling me to stay inside the Palace at all costs... isn't that what you told me when we were on Naboo? And look at where that led us."

Anakin flinched.

In the distance her gaze pierced him.

"I overestimated the Naboo security," he responded as coldly as he could.

"And your Sith senses."

He swallowed against the hurt that inevitably reached his chest.

_Oh how he hated how she could make him feel with mere words..._

"On Coruscant, right now, the only safe place is the Palace," he uttered through clenched teeth. "Not even a Jedi could break through. And you are staying. Don't make me use the Force on you," he threatened.

With that he left, his cloak billowing behind him.

* * *

He stood under the grey sky, flashes resonating in the distance. Like a black statue, he stood in front of the enormous crowd, the dark cloak floating behind him, in rhythm with the harsh wind sweeping across the planet.

In the distance, the Jedi Temple still stood in the mist.

On the other side, the Senate seemed to be still burning from the inside out.

The Emperor took a deep breath.

"My fellow citizens." There was a murmur amongst the crowd. "As you all know, we are facing dark times. Many lives were lost and many others may be taken in the near future. The Empress was targeted by those attacks." He felt his glove clench. The crowd's roaring became a little bit stronger. "And with her, the whole Empire! After all these years of war and suffering it seems some terrorists are intent on repeating the experience, on making our Empire crumble! Destroying many more lives in the process!" Cries of outrage sounded in the distance. "But fear not. They are being arrested as we speak and will stand trial."

Between the clapping and cries of joy, he could hear people asking for death, for blood.

The wind seemed to get harsher, his cloak billowing on his back.

The holoreporters were speaking frantically on the first row.

"Those terrorists won't make us crumble," he roared, fist raised in the air. A torrent of applause met his words.

He felt invincible.

"We will smash them down! There shall be no mercy."

A pause. The crowd was roaring.

"And _then _there shall be peace!"

The ground seemed to tremble as people clapped and cheered before him.

* * *

"The rest of the terrorists have been arrested on Naboo, Your Highness."

"At last."

"They are being sent to Coruscant as we speak," the young officer told him.

Vader nodded silently.

"You have done good work, Officer."

The young man tried to hide it but the Sith could feel his surprise.

With a flicker of his wrist, the Emperor cut off the connection and swirled in his chair to face Padmé who was standing in the doorway of the holoconference room.

She only stared at him.

"I heard your _impressive_ speech on the Holonet."

There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"Thank you," Anakin responded with the same tone. His eyes were as icy as hers.

She looked down. He could feel her struggle against something troubling her.

"I hate this, Anakin..." she finally said. "I hate how we're being torn apart again."

He looked away and stroked his features with his flesh hand tiredly. They were going back to the old quarrels. Before Naboo and the seemingly calm it had provided them. Instead, the so-called vacations and all that happened only threatened to drive them apart again.

He had never realized before how close to the edge they had always been teetering in their relationship.

But he just couldn't talk right now. Padmé seemed to sense it.

"When are you leaving exactly?"

He fought against the urge to snap at her. She didn't seem to care about that earlier.

"As soon as I can. I still have some things to settle and then I'm off."

"Since when have you slept?"

The question took him by surprise. He didn't answer and stood up, rummaging through the data disks to busy himself.

"Are you afraid of another vision?"

The data disks in his hand flew onto the shiny desk forcefully.

"What did you come here here for? To torture me?"

Padmé narrowed her eyes.

"Don't direct your anger towards me," she said coldly. "I'm not the reason why Leia is dying."

Anger was slowly but surely invading his senses.

"Because _I_ am?"

His voice was very low. The darkness was back, he could feel it.

She didn't speak. It only fueled his rage.

"Say it, Padmé! You think I'm responsible for Leia's state?"

"I think you have taken some poor decisions lately." A pause. It seemed to stretch into eternity. Her eyes settled on his calmly. "And those _may_have resulted in Leia being hurt."

He clenched his fist and took a step towards her. The words flew past his lips, bitter and harsh just like her.

"_I_ wasn't the one targeted by those attacks, was I? For all your trying to bring some democracy back..." he saw her flinch and felt her surprise. As if he had been a fool all this time. He had seen what she had tried to do but his Empire was too established for her to change anything. It was high time she acknowledged it. "..it only seemed to push this scum to violence..."

He could feel a slow smile on his face. Padmé's composure was slowly crumbling. He had hit the right spot. He knew she felt guilty because of Dormé dying for her. He knew it and used it against her like he had used the anguish he had felt in Obi-Wan against his former mentor.

She changed before him, her beautiful features marred by fury.

"_You_ did all these disastrous laws! All these massacres!"

His nostrils flared. She only continued...

_... an echo of the past._

"Where's your mighty Empire? A handful of youths broke through the defenses, brought a state of emergency on Coruscant!"

"Soon enough there shall be no longer any Rebellion, do not worry," he said with a false tone of reassurance, his eyes as icy as hers.

"There will only be more violence! The more you tighten your grip-"

"We did try your way, didn't we?" He was _really _starting to lose patience. "This scum only deserves what will come their way! Have you forgotten what they've done?"

Padmé was breathing harshly.

"No, of course I haven't, but-"

"All this doesn't have anything to do with Leia! I _am_going to save her."

"Everything always revolves around you," she hissed. "Around _you_ failing, _you_ promising, _you_ saving people-"

"This is not about me! This is about her! And she _will_ be saved!"

"With your _Sith_ powers supposedly protecting us? Kenobi _beat_ you."

"Now stop it," he hissed with a sudden calm he didn't feel. Bubbles of fury were slowly but surely invading him, clouding his vision.

She only took a defiant step towards him.

"You were right, Anakin. I think _you _are responsible for Leia's state."

Something in him snapped.

"Don't you ever say that again."

"You can't stop me from _thinking_ it," she shot back.

And with that, she spun towards the door. It closed down before she could exit the room. He was beside her in a flash, grabbing her arm roughly, whirling her around so she could face him. Padmé only glared up at him, as angry as he obviously was.

He wanted to hurt her.

He could barely remember ever feeling like this before but at this moment, it felt incredibly relieving.

_Oh yes, hurt her as much as she is hurting you._

As if reading his mind, her gaze hardened.

"You are a coward," she whispered. "You want to use the Force on your wife to make her stop talking."

He didn't try to understand how she seemed to know what was going through his mind. Abruptly, he shoved her against the door forcefully. She only glared at him.

"The Queen of Naboo", he responded angrily. "You always despised me, didn't you?"

He tightened his grip on her and knew she would surely have bruises later.

He was too far gone to care. Some things, long buried, had seemed to resurface for both of us.

"I've only despised you ever since you became a monster," she shot back.

"A monster?" he rasped. "But you let me slip into your bed every night, don't you?"

She struggled against him. He stared at her angrily. Then roughly pushed her against the closed door again.

There was so much fury inside him, wishing to escape.

_There were so many things he needed to forget. _

And the sensations were only more fueled by the small thought that maybe, just _maybe_ Padmé was speaking the truth. Maybe he _was _responsible for Leia. And the thought was unbearable. As unbearable as the way he saw himself in her eyes.

"Let go of me!" she said, still resisting against him, flustered with anger.

He found himself chuckling darkly, trapping her against the door with his body. Then he lowered his lips on hers strongly. She tried to push him away, disgust written on her face.

Something exploded within him.

He kissed her again forcefully. She struggled once more but his lips insisted against hers. Then he felt her hands tangle in his hair and she was kissing him back. Hard. Their mouths collided in fury. There was nothing tender. All bitterness and hurt.

He grasped her dress, pulling her even closer. Her hands tried to slip beneath his tunic aggressively. He took hold of her hands forcefully and pinned them along her body. Her head hit the door as his mouth reached her neck. She winced but he didn't care, hands letting go of hers to pull at her dress in a hurry. The darkness enticed him, making his senses sharper as his gloved fingers trailed down her leg.

He was rough.

Padmé didn't protest.

She winced from her leg injury all the way through and he didn't care.

Something in him told him he should.

But he didn't.

She finally stopped talking, only moving with him.

He still hated her for those words.

_For the truth in them._

That power in his hands.

Everything was dark.

He only plunged further into the darkness.

It was welcoming him again.

* * *

There was silence.

Padmé shook her head, pulling on her dress slowly. Everything was still blurry, the storm of emotions and darkness taking hold of her. They had never done something like _this_. She had never felt like this before either.

And it scared her.

How Anakin had succumbed to the darkness, like he hadn't in a long time. Without an ounce of control. How she had been afraid and yet welcomed it and then actually looked for that darkness. How his eyes had taken orange tones as he claimed her body and soul and she didn't care.

How much she had wanted him then.

She felt her lower lip begin to tremble and fought against the sob building in her chest.

After the storm passed, she only felt drained.

And the main issues were still there. Even seemed to get worse.

Anakin was gone.

He had been unable to look at her in the eye afterwards. He had only gathered his clothes and left her there on the floor.

The tears came and the exhaustion and heartache suddenly caught up with her. She sobbed, her head falling into her joined hands, knees pulled up against her chest.

* * *

Padmé limped through the corridors, finally finding her apartments.

Threepio was there, in the doorway, fussing like he always did. The only thing that didn't change.

"Oh my! Your Highness! Are you feeling alright?"

She found herself leaning against him. Threepio was babbling something about protocol. She wanted to chuckle but it came out strangled. She was striving to find comfort in a droid, her head still leaning on his golden shoulder.

The situation was absurd and pathetic but it only made more tears fall on her cheeks.

With the faithful droid's help, she collapsed on the nearest chair, stroking her leg, wincing because of the ache. Threepio said something along the lines of preparing some drink to calm her. He left, his wires clicking. Padmé stared at the closed door in front of her.

Next to her bedroom, she knew the twins were there.

Leia was there.

She couldn't look at her. She just couldn't.

And Anakin was nowhere to be seen.

She was suddenly scared he had left for the Mid Rim again, left her without saying goodbye.

Perhaps he was already halfway to Obi-Wan and the other Jedi.

_Last time, he lost a hand. He's not as strong as he likes to think he is. As I liked to think he was. _

She pictured Obi-Wan killing him. She closed her eyes and let her face fall to her crossed arms in despair. She pictured losing Anakin after all the terrible things they had told each other. Pictured Leia dying because there was no one there to save her.

The door opened and she looked up, startled.

Anakin was standing in the doorway, his cloak on, his face undecipherable.

She shakily exhaled in relief but couldn't get any words out. There was something changed.

He looked down.

"I'm leaving. There's no time to waste," he said in a low voice.

She nodded silently. He turned to leave.

"Wait!"

Frowning, he turned around and watched her. She hated to see this look in his eyes. It was a look he was rarely allowing her to see. A look of regret and misery.

But she couldn't talk to him. She just _couldn't_. Not right now.

"Be careful..." she whispered. "When you face Obi-Wan again, just be careful..."

He nodded wordlessly. But he was looking at her with such intensity she shivered.  
Then he made a gesture towards her leg.

"Are you alright?" he murmured, avoiding her eyes again.

She nodded wordlessly.

This time, he left, his cloak billowing behind him. She got up abruptly, her leg hurting so much she stifled a gasp but hurried towards the door. He was striding down the corridor, bypassing some aides who saluted him with high respect. He wasn't looking at them.

"Anakin!"

Something else had come to her abruptly. Something she had been mulling over for sometime already. Something she needed to tell him before he left.

He turned around, frowning. But came back to her as she put a hand on the doorway, needing to find some balance. For awhile, as he stood before her, she resisted the urge to reach for him. She needed his arms around her. In spite of it all. She wanted her husband, not the stranger who had greedily taken from her in that holoconference room. She wanted to feel like herself again.

She had never been so scared. Of everything.

But his eyes were a strange shade of blue. His face was grim.

And she just couldn't.

"I think I found a way," she blurted out.

"About what?"

"Leia," she responded, tears in her voice.

"What is it?"

"I have a way to make your plan go through to conclusion."

He was silent for awhile, frowning.

"I don't have time for this," he rumbled.

"Please, hear me out," she pleaded with her eyes. "I think I know how to make sure to bring Obi-Wan with you here."

He looked at her wordlessly, his gaze expressionless.

Then he spoke and he sounded determined.

"Tell me."


	44. Chapter 31 part 1

**Hello, everyone! *waves ashamedly***

**I know I haven't updated in ages and I apologize for that, work has been hell lately and I didn't have much time. But here's the new chapter. I hope you like it! Next part shouldn't be too long to come.  
**

**Thanks as usual for all your reviews! I'm going to reply to all of them right now. Thanks for still reading! *smooches*  
**

* * *

**Chapter 31**

_Part 1_

Padmé tossed in her bed, trashing around, sweat on her brow. Sleepily, she opened her eyes, remnants of nightmares disappearing slowly. Sighing, she got up from her lonely bed and pulled on a robe, slowly making her way to her children's room.

It was silent save the machines keeping Leia alive.

She slumped down on a couch nearby, her eyes lost in the distance. Even Luke seemed to be weak lately. As if he could feel his sister's pain and his parents' distress. Padmé couldn't find the energy in her to soothe her son. All her attention could only be turned to the limp body in front of her. She couldn't even touch her baby because of this glass protecting the girl from the world.

She prayed their plan would work.

Anakin had accepted it, telling her he would send her a transmission when he fulfilled the first step. There had been no other words when he left. No embrace, no touch. Only their respective sadness they could no longer share.

A silent tear made its way down her cheek.

The young mother spent the whole night staring at the bacta tank.

* * *

"And here we are."

A deep breath and for the first time in forever, a glimmer of hope.

"Melida/Daan."

"Melida what?"

Obi-Wan chuckled good-naturedly and patted Lainé's head gently.

"Melida/Daan," he repeated. "There was a war." If Barriss and Lainé saw the forlorn look on Obi-Wan's face, they made no remark. "The people here could never agree on a simple name for the planet. One people wanted to call it Melida, the other, Daan. The Republic decided to please both. So the planet was called Melida/Daan."

"So you've already been here, Master?" asked Barriss as they slowly made their way to the capital. The landscape was very simple on the planet. Rocks everywhere.

Obi-Wan nodded and smiled a little bit sadly.

"A lifetime ago..."

The rest of the trip was made in silence as the three Jedi reached the capital.

"They are here, Your Highness."

Vader nodded once. Turning his eyes to the high mountain in the distance, he silently motioned for the troopers to join him.

The boots marched on the snowy ground, the sounds muffled by the harsh wind blowing around them. The Emperor was striding purposefully, ignoring the cold gust of wind whipping his face.

He knew the Jedi had probably felt the threat by now.

But they were powerless in their hiding place. Their ships were too far away. The inhospitable weather made it impossible to flee.

They were cornered.

Vader didn't even let a small smile creep on his face. He only felt determination. His entire being was turned to the small voices embodying the Force. He was listening. He was following It.

Every step he took was making him get closer to the Jedi.

Closer to Kenobi.

* * *

There was a sudden silence in the assembly.

Faces turned in horror in the direction of the cave opening, as if listening to a sound that wouldn't come before long minutes.

The Jedi looked at each other, senses attuned to the Force, utter fear distorting the faces of every Knight and Padawan.

Only one Jedi took his sword out, closing his eyes and drawing from the Force.

Kahl inhaled deeply and voiced everyone's fear.

"He is coming."

* * *

The stones shielding the cave opening exploded into nothingness and white armors came into view.  
The dark figure entered the cave, smoke parting to reveal a hooded face.

Jad Kahl calmly turned to his fellows and together they lightened their blades, waiting for the onslaught.

Laughter resonated in the cave. It was icy and shuddering.

The hood came down.

Vader's eyes settled on them calmly, as he made no move, his lightsaber still clinging to his waist.

At last came his voice, calm but terrifying.

"Who is the leader?"

Kahl only took a firm step in the Sith's direction.

"Where's Kenobi?"

A deep breath.

"We do not know," came the -almost- shaky answer.

A small smile crept up on the Emperor's face then.

"We will see."

* * *

"The Jedi have been captured."

"Are you alright?"

A chuckle.

"Of course, I am."

He sounded like it had been too easy. He looked like the stranger she loathed.

Padmé looked away. The holo-transmission flickered slightly.

"They put up some fight though. Didn't last long after I killed one or two younglings."

Padmé closed her eyes shakily, feeling her heart tighten into her chest painfully. When she opened her eyes again, Anakin's eyes seemed to dare her to tell him he was a monster.

She was too tired for this.

"How do you know Obi-Wan will feel their capture through the Force?" she whispered. There was a bitter taste in her mouth.

He shrugged.

"I made sure he would feel them suffering."

And she knew what was happening then. Torture. Faint screaming in the background confirmed her suspicion. She felt bile rise into her throat and struggled to maintain composure.

Anakin's gaze was cold. She read shadows in his eyes and suddenly realized she was seeing the Emperor in action.

This wasn't Anakin.

This was Vader.

_Whatever that meant._

"Did you do your part?" he demanded.

"I am contacting him right away."

He nodded, that strange and unsettling gaze still resting on her. Even through the hologram she could literally see the madness there.

Inanely she wondered if she was not responsible for this. If by her hatred and her scorn she hadn't pushed him back into the dark side's arms.

"Anakin-" she began.

"Don't leave the Palace," was all he said before cutting off the connection.

Padmé blinked. Then took a shuddering breath and sent a transmission to Naboo.

Her mother responded.

"Oh Padmé! We were so worried! They told us you had left, that you-"

"Mom, I need to speak to Dad immediately."

Jobal only frowned and called her husband.

When he appeared, her father still had a few bruises on his face, reflecting her own.

"I need your help," she said.

* * *

The three fugitives were welcomed by an old friend of Obi-Wan's in the capital. As they brought up memories, the Master Jedi felt himself drown into nostalgia just for a little bit.

But when his friend inquired about Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan could almost feel the old pain creeping in his chest again.

It felt so long since his Master had last contacted him through the Force.

Qui-Gon told him then he had done the right thing with Vader.

_And yet..._

Yet Obi-Wan knew a Sith's word meant nothing.

The Jedi struggled to focus back on the present and his friend's words.

The arrangements were made with his sheltering friend and they were soon preparing for the night.

"We are going to join the Alliance."

That was all Obi-Wan said when the Jedi were alone in the room.

"Why join the Alliance now?" Barriss asked.

Obi-Wan sighed deeply and moved to the balcony outside despite the cool air.

"Bail offered it a while ago and I declined. I could have saved his life if I had been there. Many Jedi would have been spared had I not joined the remaining camp."

Barriss said nothing, only looked at the stars in the distance.

"I think we would have all been killed if you hadn't been there."

Obi-Wan stiffened.

"What do you mean?"

He looked at her sideways. She stared back. He was about to inquire further when something came over him abruptly.

_Pain. _

Barriss frowned and looked down at the same moment.

She had felt it too.

He rushed to his old friend from the Young, that Rebel organization he had once supported, had even been a part of. So long ago.

"Contact the Alliance now." A pause. A shared glance with Barriss standing beside him.

"I think Vader found the last Jedi."

Several minutes later, his friend was back, looking grim.

"You were right, Obi-Wan. They were captured on Umgul. The Alliance's leader herself informed the whole network."

Obi-Wan nodded, stroking his beard pensively.

Barriss turned to the Melida/Daan inhabitant abruptly.

"Who is the leader of the Alliance now? Weren't they all arrested?"

"Breha Organa."

Obi-Wan looked up.

"But this is foolishness! Vader just arrested her husband! It won't be long before she is arrested too."

"On the contrary, I think she is very brave," his friend retorted before leaving the room.

"So what do we do?" Barriss turned to her elder.

Obi-Wan shrugged and looked away.

"I told them not to go to Umgul. It was pure idiocy."

Barriss stared at him, surprise appearing on her face despite her Jedi teachings.

"You cannot possibly leave them to their fate, Master."

The Jedi sighed and got up, slowly pacing the room.

"This is a trap," he responded tiredly. "An _old-fashioned _trap Vader created for me... I would be foolish to fall for this."

Barriss crossed her arms.

"Of course this is a trap," she said harshly and Obi-Wan looked at her in surprise. "But we _can't _leave them, Master. Vader is going to kill them all!"

"He will kill them with or without our intervention. Maybe he already did kill them." When he approached the young Knight, the Master's eyes were cold and unforgiving. "They chose fear and cowardice. They chose their fate. I will not intervene."

Barriss eyed him in disappointment.

"You don't seem to remember what it is like to be a Jedi either."

Obi-Wan's gaze became even harsher.

"There is nothing I can do! I already acted too rashly as it is when it came to Vader! We need time to meditate and determine our next course of action-"

"They are dying, Master!"

"We _all_ die."

Barriss took a step back at the tone of the Jedi facing her.

"Master... They are our companions, our peers." she took a deep breath. "I will go there with or without you. I cannot let them die."

Obi-Wan looked away.

Something about this was familiar. _Too familiar._

"Vader doesn't want you, he only wants me," he tried to explain to the young Knight. "You are going to get yourself killed for nothing!"

"You could come with me, Master!" She countered.

There was a pause.

When she looked back at him, there was sad understanding he didn't like.

"You could finish what you couldn't do last time."

He didn't speak but felt himself flinch.

"I saw you in the forest on Arbra. I know you spared Vader."

"Then you know how wrong I was to spare him," he countered harshly.

Barriss sighed.

"You refused to kill an unarmed man."

Obi-Wan shook his head, unwilling to confront his feelings about his fallen Padawan now.

Barriss' voice interrupted his dark thoughts.

"Next time you _will_ win. You are the only one who can stop him. Please, Master. It might be our only chance to do the right thing."

The Master Jedi didn't say anything in response.

He knew they would go.

They would fall into the trap willingly.


End file.
